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“It’s like when someone says, ‘How are you?’ Do you say, ‘Well, my head hurts and I’m lonely and depressed and I’m worried about everything and the world is collapsing and full of evil’? Or do you say, ‘I’m fine’?”

“Do you know how much thinking and feeling I’ve done? It’s terrible. And nothing’s come of it.”

Hey hey, as a librarian, can I just say don’t pace yourself at the library. I get a lot of customers saying “oh I shouldn’t get too many books out at once” but like you should!!!! Max out your card, take everything we have on a subject you’re interested in, make a book fort in your home. We love that shit! It doesn’t matter if you read them or not; just take them for an adventure and bring them back whenever they’re due!

“I’ve spent so much time in my head and in my heart that I forgot to live in my body.”

“Do you think it’s possible that some people are born to give more love than they will ever get back in return?”

Promise me you will not spend so much time treading water and trying to keep your head above the waves that you forget, truly forget, how much you have always loved to swim.

“I’m really bad with words, i hope you’re good in reading eyes.”

“I have never known who or what I am supposed to be. The only thing I know for sure, is that I am supposed to be more than I have been.”

and sometimes i have to remind myself that it’s okay. it’s okay to isolate. it’s okay to take a break. it’s okay to slow down and not rush. it’s okay to just take a pause and inhale deep breaths. it’s okay to stop waking for a while. it’s okay to rest. it’s okay. at times that i feel discouraged and overwhelmed, it’s okay to pull away. and it’s okay to feel heavy. it’s okay to cry. it’s okay to ask for more time. it’s okay to let go. that it’s okay to not be okay.

I am drowning in negativism, self-hate, doubt, madness - and even I am not strong enough to deny the routine, the rote, to simplify. No, I go plodding on, afraid that the blank hell in back of my eyes will break through, spewing forth like a dark pestilence; afraid that the disease which eats away the pith of my body with merciless impersonality will break forth in obvious sores and warts, screaming:

I am afraid because I can so clearly foresee my own life rotting away of itself, like a leaf that rots without falling, while I pursue my round of existence from day to day.