I was original once

why is my grandma so crunchy

im gonna ask her about her crunch

Moon pie is so nice and responsible

He’s a very good boy

the person who runs this account is a gem

“we almost dated” is such a weird relationship to have with someone

This kid just activated a Russian sleeper agent somewhere

HE HAS FUCKIN SHOWER CAPS ON HIS MUSTACHE

AND HE’S THE FUCKING LITTLE MERMAID ON THE BOTTOM RIGHT CORNER

HE IS ALL THE ANIMALS

IF YOU DON’T NEED THIS, YOU’RE WRONG

does anyone ever do the opposite of dissociate?? where youre just suddenly and uncomfortably aware of your situation and reality 

more to the point why do i get that feeling when im sitting on top of my kitchen table watching a velveeta mac and cheese pack spin in the microwave for three and a half minutes and im just like I Exist I Am Here And Theres Nothing I Can Do About It 

if u don’t kiss ur cat on their tiny soft little forehead wtf are u even doing

Yelling at her for trying to eat plastic