And I'm here

SOOKIE 🌻🌻: nice !!! SOOKIE 🌻🌻: lemme know if u need any help ! SOOKIE 🌻🌻: i mean i know next to nothing about coloring hair, but i’m here for support whenever you may need me !!!

                hani didn’t think too much into the offer ; just figured it was something she could simply do as a thank you for helping a stranger haul her various snacks over to the checkout counter. “of course it is,” the girl assures with a grin, not seeing the issue in it at all. “you sure you don’t want anything else?” she quirks an eyebrow in question, wanting to double check before they made it to the front. “like i said— anything you want, it’s my treat.” she offers the girl her most charming grin, elbow nudging the side of her arm gently. “personally, i would suggest the honey butter chips— they’re a particular fave of mine,” she teases lightly, smile continuing to curve up at her lips.

There were two months that Dahee absolutely hated; January and September. September was the month were she lost her unborn child which she had been carrying for 6 month before her father had his drunken episode and pushed her down the stairs. Last September it was a year since she lost her baby. January was supposed to be the birthday month of her precious child and now if she had survived she would have been 1 (2) year old. Dahee wished she didn’t have to go through those months, she wished she didn’t have to go through the heartbreak but she had to, every day but it was worse on those two months.

Losing her precious girl, completely destroyed her and she has never really been the same. She doesn’t know how to move on from the loss, she feels like she can’t cope but still she is here living and breathing. She loved her unborn child very deeply and she was way more connected to her than she had realized until she was just gone. Today was 31st of January, it was the set date for her child and today Dahee was going to visit her child.

Her daughter had been ‘buried’ in the cemetery that went with her family’s house in Daegu. Originally Dahee didn’t want her to be buried there but she didn’t really get the choice so she just had to deal with it, even when her child was gone she still had to be a secret. Plus Dahee at that time would not have any idea where else to bury her child. Taking a day off from school she traveled early in the morning back to her hometown, she informed her mother that she was coming and to not tell her father. She didn’t want to see him, she still hadn’t forgiven him and if she ever was going to was a question she didn’t know the answer to.

She wanted to go to her hometown quietly so she didn’t notify anyone else that she was coming, not like she still kept contact with any of her friends there anymore. She ost contact once she become pregnant and they didn’t even try to reach out to her so she didn’t bother to try and kindle back her friendships. After a long journey from Seoul to Daegu, she finally arrived to her hometown. It was like nothing had changed since the last time she was there but that was just last september so it wasn’t that surprising. But still everything kept on going like nothing was different while Dahee felt like everything was completely different.

She didn’t really waste any time and hurried quietly and unseen to her family home, once she got there her mother was already waiting for her in front of the door. A small smile appeared to Dahee’s face and she quickly went over to her mother and gave her a big hug. One thing she had missed from Daegu for sure was her mother, after a long embrace her mother invited her inside but Dahee kindly rejected. She didn’t want to go inside and relive it all, she only wanted to spend time with her daughter. Her mother didn’t argue and only watched her as Dahee made her way to go and see her daughter, each step she got closer the heavier and lighter her heart got. She couldn’t exactly explain it but she was nervous, sad and relieved each time she visited her; it was such a strange feeling that it was extremely hard to carry it within her.

As she reached the gravestone, she fell to the ground and let out a loud sob. She didn’t want to cry on her daughter’s birthday but her heart had been so heavy for so long that she just had to let it out. After some time she wiped her tears away and let out a deep breath and sat down properly in front of the gravestone and opened her bag that she had taken with her and took out a lunchbox. “ I’m sorry that the cake is in a lunchbox, I wanted to bake one for instead of buying one and I wasn’t quite sure how to travel with a big cake….So I just cut a small piece for you..I hope that is alright “ her voice was soft like she was there with her, she could almost picture her in front of her and it made her even more sadder. Letting out a shaky breath she tried to speak more but she only felt like she would break down if she did so she stayed silent and opened the lunchbox and then placed it on the ground and went through the bag again and found a candle and a lighter. After placing the candle on the cake she knew she would have to say something, she still stayed silent and turned on the candle with the lighter, then she took a deep breath and started singing the birthday song “ Happy birthday to you, happy birthday my dear Nayoung “ she finished the song and then blew out the candle.

“ happy birthday my dear daughter “ tears streamed down her face as she spoke and her voice trembled “ I wish you were here with me, I’m sorry that I wasn’t strong enough for the both of us. I’m sorry that I’m sad all the time, I’m going to try and be happy. “ Dahee looked up at the sky trying to stop the tears from streaming down her face but she couldn’t “ I can’t promise when I’ll become happy but someday but I hope you can help me with that sweetie, only if you can though. Help me find the strength I need, Nayoung because I don’t know what to do without you...and yet I have been without you this whole time “

It was so hard for the female to accept reality, even though it was now year since she died, Dahee still didn’t want to believe it. It was still so unreal for the girl, it all felt like it was a dream for her but it wasn’t. This was reality, she was there sitting in front of her unborn daughters gravestone. They didn’t even get to properly meet, Nayoung was taken away from her in the most cruel way and Dahee was not so sure if she would ever forgive her father. She had promised she would protect her daughter from him but she broke that promise even before she was born, how was she then going to protect the people she loved when she wasn’t able to protect her unborn child ?.

Dahee was blaming herself, she was beating herself about something she most possibly could not have prevented. She felt so unworthy of someone’s love, she had made herself believe that people shouldn’t be nice to her because she wasn’t able to protect Nayoung. So it made it even harder when people were nice to her, but they didn’t know her past and though she didn’t want them to be nice to her she knew that if she would tell them they would just be extra nice to her. No one wants to be mean to someone that lost a child. “ I’m tired of being sad but it’s like I don’t know nothing else but sadness...I can’t seem to find happiness. You were supposed to be my happiness but I lost you “  she spoke with her eyes closed, her voice was cracking and her eyes hurt from all the crying. She was exhausted and yet she could not rest, it didn’t matter how exhausted she was, she just couldn’t rest. She stood up and wiped away her tears and then touched the gravestone with her fragile hand “ I’m sorry, I’m not going to be sad on your birthday “ she let out a small smile “ Happy birthday, I will be back soon “ then she turned around and took her bag and the lunchbox and with each step she took everything become heavy again. The weird feeling went away and her heart was heavy once again.

I’m a little sad by the news but I totally understand where the admins are coming from and I can’t feel anything but grateful towards them and every single member in this rp and past members as well <3 Thank you for allowing me to bring Dahee, Seonja and Bong-hee and all the my other babies I had to this wonderful place !! This has been an amazing journey and though I’m sad so the rp go as this was my escape place I’m sure I will meet you all again. It hurts yes but you know why ? because it mattered/matters and all of you amazing talented people matter to me <3 I might have now gotten the opportunity to get to know you all but still I love everyone one of you and I wish you all the best in the future !!! Thank you admins for everything and thank you all fellow members for allowing me to see you all bring your characters alive !!!

if you guys want to contact me, I’m always on twitter ( @ koombayahh, I have discord but I’m very bad on it hahah but its RoseTristan#3797 and I’m also on snapchat but if you want my snapchat just message me bc I like to keep it more private :) 

Love you all and wish you all the best in the future !!

“I’ll try my best.” He gave a short laugh. “A bit, but it helps me pay the rent so there’s that.” He said, shrugging. “Besides, sometimes this shift is fun. I get to meet people and talk to them, like now.” He grinned. 

  Dahee couldn’t help but to let out a small smile, it was somewhat comforting to talk to the staff member. “ Hmm I have always wondered what it’s like to work at a café but I’m not really good at communicating so I have never tried it “

          /.     SURPRISE MOMENTARILY CLAIMED an expression, f-a-i-n-t upon cold features (-it would look peculiar for a smile to tug at his lips, unfitting-), as the other wandered further into the bar— politely, giving her order. he’d had expected her to just wander back onto the streets of seoul, leaving him to proceed with his night as NORMAL… perhaps, he should learn to s-t-o-p making assumptions. in an instant, demeanour altered, shifting to treating the other like any other customer (-he had no reason to do otherwise, even if he was questioning if she was okay-), grabbing the beverage, that she had requested, and placing it on the bar. ‘ there you go, have it on the house… just don’t get used to it. ’  quite honestly, he was just fed up with the o-d-d interaction with the stranger, so, shortening by any means seemed preferable.

Hyuk grinned, listening to her reply. “Oh, mine’s doing the same as always. I’ve probably made my seventh green tea latte for this day, which is not surprising anymore.” Hyuk shrugged. “You become kinda jaded with your job sometimes.” He said, kind of lightheartedly despite its implication.

“ Oh, well I hope you don’t overwork yourself “ she replied feeling a bit worried about the employee. “ It must get tiring to always do the same thing every single shift “ she added feeling bad that she always ordered the same thing when she came there.

         Deryl receives the response and is quick to clam up afterwards - not really knowing what else to say. Talking about the past experiences he had with his adoptive “family” - both families, really, drained him of any energy that he had. Especially when nobody really knew the whole story. The whole long, traumatic story. And as much as he wanted it to just be in his past, it was going to be a weight that he carried the rest of his life. He didn’t know if the girl had any traumas of her own, but for her sake he hoped she didn’t.  Being so wrapped up in his thoughts, he nearly missed the question the other posed and had to pause for a considerable amount of time before coming up with his answer.

“For the most part, yeah, I’ve liked it here. It took me a long time to get used to everything,” Deryl said, and it was true. He was still trying to get used to it all to this day.

      Dahee was pretty sure that in a few moments things would get awkward, they were running out of small talk and Dahee had no idea how to keep conversations going because she almost never had anything to talk about especially with people she didn’t know. What even could she share with them ? Her family life was something she didn’t want to talk about and the months before she moved to Seoul was something that was extremely hard for her to talk about and she was very careful about what she said to people. She was constantly afraid that they would somehow hurt her, she was just constantly afraid and in pain. 

                “you as well,” hani quirks a small grin towards the girl, letting her eyes avert briefly in order to do one final scan of the surrounding shelves. “but please, i insist!” the dj asserts with a definitive nod. it’s not as if a kind gesture was UNHEARD of from hani. the girl knew her manners — though she also knew that she likely wouldn’t have extended the same offer to a boy, had he been the one to lend a hand ( im suhan never claimed to be completely unbiased ). “seriously. anything you want. i’ve got you.”

SOOKIE 🌻🌻 : of course !!! 💖💖💖 SOOKIE 🌻🌻 : it’s always good to push urself a bit, but only if ur sure u might want to !! but i think it’s a good idea  !! SOOKIE 🌻🌻 : i definitely think it would !!

      /. MINHO’S HUFF OF AIR was the closest thing to a r-e-s-p-o-n-s-e that the other would be receiving (-he didn’t care enough to put effort into anything more— after all, he was used to bodies entering, who had no intention of being there… just lost night time wanderers-), as he returned to his position behind the bar, cleaning up the AREA that the just escorted drunkard had been positioned— half empty glass placed into a sink and surface removed of the stickiness, that customers alike that ALWAYS seemed to harbour. it had took s-e-v-e-r-a-l minutes for him to notice that the figure he’d once directed to the exit— with somewhat blunt vocalisations— was still stood  c l o s e  to the entrance-way, and a scoff was triggered at the sight… minho wasn’t one to be unnecessarily rude, at least not intentionally, but this customer— if she could even be called that— had started to irritate the male, what was her intention? her issue? ‘ you can’t just stand there, ’ words called, harsher than previous, ‘ buy a drink or leave. ’

         ♣° × ———▐█ VALUING A SIBLING AND parent seemed so… out of reach for yoonsik, but what was he supposed to do? just tell his family he wanted to get along all the sudden? the corner of his lip twitched at the thought of his family actually liking each other, or, perhaps, his family liking HIM, too. dahee not getting along with her father was all too familiar of a situation to yoonsik, because he, too, did not like his father, and, if he had to pick a parent to blame for everything, it would probably be him. he did not know dahee’s situation, though, and he was not going to make assumptions. so, a tilt of his head came with his next statement.

         ❝ yeah, i understand that, i don’t really care about my parents either, ❞ he speaks, although a bit quietly and he is clearly distant. his eyes shift AWAY from her; he has a hard time admitting anything about his family to anyone. ❝ but do you ever talk to him, anyway? like, face him, i guess? ❞

   Dahee didn’t quite understand where all of this was coming from but it seemed like Yoonsik was having troubles with his family and in a way Dahee could relate to that. Talking about her family especially her father was difficult, she loved her mother and brother but her father was a complete another story. he brought to her one of the greatest pains she had ever experienced and she wasn’t quite sure if she was ever going to be able to face him ever again. 

“ I’m sorry to her that “. His question hit Dahee and she looked away from Yoonsik wondering how she could respond to him “ I mean I did, I spoke to him when I lived with him and we had moments when things were good ? but umm my dad, I guess we can say he doesn’t see what’s right and what’s wrong. One of the reasons why I came to Seoul to live with my aunt was because of my dad and what he did and I haven’t talked to him since “ looked down at her hands and took a deep breath, it hurt to speak about him but at some point she had to.

Hyuk grinned. She had seen her for a few times now, and never thought about staring a conversation with her. His boss did tell them that the regulars were the best for their income, and making them feel at home was the best way for them to stay. “On the way.” He said, punching in the numbers as he received the money. “So, how’s your day so far?” He asked, as he gave the order to the other baristas to get ready.

      Dahee nodded and paid him and then placed her wallet back into her bag that hanging on her shoulder while she thanked him and then looked up at him. She always found the staff so nice and warm, it was like every costumer was their family or friend “ My day is good so far, what about yours ? “ she asked back.