roller derby is hard as hell 🙇🏽
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@chatterintothevoid
roller derby is hard as hell 🙇🏽

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in pack we trust❤️
yea just got results back from the doctor...yea. yea. it's what she thought. saywhatthefuckeveritis.....yea. terminal she says.
I'm looking through the cher tag for higher quality photographs of promo material and i know she's a timeless beauty of many talents but.
not nearly enough post 70s cher. scrolling through tags like...
why is a man (sonny) here? girl, it's getting weird...
i hate dealing with microsoft anything programs bc oh my fucking god. what freak thing is happening in ai stock value that's making you act a fool rn why is there an update no one told me would happen
bc i2g won't use the feature. i would bite copilot if i could
constantly reminded i'm not the intended end user bc everything is a nasty productivity tool and i'm literally just trying to reset a password for A DIFFERENT THING ❗
all these features were put on a list onto powerpoint and pitched by a microsoft man in a suite to another company's man in suite; promising this will make the work faster promise promise promise ahh❗

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“There aren’t enough hours in a day.” There are actually. The problem is that we think 40 hour work weeks are an unavoidable fact of life.
The problem is that everyone has to work 8 hours, pretty much no exceptions, and with getting ready time + (unpaid) lunch + commute, “8 hours” is actually anywhere between 9 and 12, every single day, with more work to do when you get home because our society and culture was built around having one member of the household home full time and nothing has changed now that almost everyone works.
No wonder Americans are reliant on DoorDash and fast food, there’s no time or energy to cook. No one wonder mental and physical health are in shambles, many just spent all day sitting in fluorescent lights with little to no stimulation. “Just wake up earlier” “Just meal prep”… these are ok short-term, individual solutions, but the broader, systemic issue is obvious. We aren’t built for this. There’s no work-life balance. Genuinely, I think if our culture could normalize a shorter work week, many individuals’ biggest problems would simply evaporate.
my diva moment will have casualties
disco is autism music because they really used to used to just put songs on repeat for 17:39 minutes and call it and extended mix.
no notes❤️love it here❤️
real grief hours boys: it's an undescribable hurt to figure out that someone you trust will sacrifice your life, your joy, your happiness, your spark, your health, your heart, your soul because they value a comfortable life over yours.
this is why abuse of all kinds hurt. this is why neglect hurts. this is why capitalism hurts. this is why gender policing hurts. this is why misogyny hurts. this why racism hurts. ageism, ableism, religious trauma etc hurts
our humanity and free will is how we access joy and fulfillment. and we're social creatures, learning and understanding ourselves through how others treat us is part of our evolution. that's why we gained success living in groups.
so to numb yourself to what that truth means, that someone you trust would sacrifice your ability to access joy, self fulfillment, literally physical health etc, you have to be sooooooo numb and disconnected. sooo hoodwinked about what you actually need to thrive.
and it scales up to the institutional level and down to the interpersonal level babe.
this is why facists hate trans people btw. all this money& effort to spread misery and then tell people why they're crying and then here comes a trans person: self definition, self knowledge? joy even? absolutely not
yorick is so stupid and important

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the demons were winning, but i just needed to get hit at derby practice. i'm good now lol
demons winning kinda day boys depression hittin kinda day boys thinking about death kinda day boys
I don't want to over think it but I don't know if I feel like myself if I don't think about things deeply. It's hard not feel like it doesn't hold my back from experiencing pleasure. Not really simple pleasures, but like deep pleasure. And like. I suppose I haven't ever cultivated a relationship to pleasure (or started one, even).
I've also been thinking about like. What makes me an adult a lot as of late. Like is it that I have a Big Girl Job or could it be any job? Is it because my partner and I live together? Is it a level of financial freedom? And if it is, what does that mean to me and my values versus what it means to a capitalist society that's doubling down on cruelty and inequality? It is the levels, qualities, regularities, comfortability of the relationships I have and keep? Is it my intellect and am I really being a good attendant to it's upkeep and maintenance?
And I don't know, maybe I'm just assessing my life and having a hard time deciding if I'm happy. I think overall....yes. There's still gloomy days, gloomy seasons but I don't think they're as numerous or frequent as before I was single. I do wonder what would have happened if I was single longer. Still ending up with my partner but having another year to cook. And like, still trying to do the things I think I would have done if I was that version of myself. Like derby. Like get closer friends with Erin and "my" side of the friend group. Craft club. And I think I get happiness from those things.
A positive that, the fact that I can even question it is progress because before the answer was an immediate "no." I guess I'm proud of myself for that. I think so.
I definitely talk to myself better. I try to be kind to my inner child. I try to be kind to my current adult. I cried 31 year old tears last week. Not inner 8 year old, adult ass tears over a car repair bill. Does shit like that make me an adult? Not parenting my inner child but being in the present at my big age? Yea, I guess. Not taking on my agency, but asking with my agency because I have it.
I feel like I've been practicing it in small ways, like listening to my body when it doesn't want to be touched or touched sensually/intimately. Which I am proud of. Slowly but surely internalizing the idea "when I listen to my body, it will make decisions that make me feel safe" despite despite despite.
yappers of the world I love you love your work would love to be one someday
🌻 Hamtaro Postcard Picture Book 🌻 Shogakukan 2000

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Making plans you're excited about but now being too exhausted to think you're gonna have fun 😔
i think i can stand it, so i will