[ mind/matter ]

1. Don’t waste time being fearful: go for that job that you’re certain you’re not gonna get. What’s the worse that can happen? You are rejected, but you gain interview experience. Self-doubt is really a waste of time.

2. Live in the present. Yes, it is important to plan for the future, but it is easy to put off living until it is too late. Make sure that you have no regrets about what you should have done. Do one exciting thing per year.

3. Know your worth. This applies to both work and relationships; never sell yourself short. No job or romance is more important than your self respect. Also, charge for any unique skills/services that you can offer. 

4. Don’t be afraid to leave bad situations. I left a stable but draining teaching job in order to protect my mental health. Even though this was a big risk, it was the best decision I ever made. NOTHING is more important than your mental health. 

5. Most 20 somethings feel that they are underachieving. This is normal - especially in today’s financial climate. Don’t feel bad if you are still living at home and cannot afford to rent/buy. I’m 30 and still living at home, saving to buy.

6. People will disappoint you, but most of the time, it’s not about you. Everybody has their own demons and traumas that make them behave in certain ways. If somebody disrespects you, assert your boundaries and keep it moving. Also, examine if there was anything you could have done to avoid the situation. But DO NOT let it eat away at you.

7. In love, nobody owes you anything. Even if they made a promise, they are their own person…Everybody has the right to change their mind and to leave a situation which is not beneficial for them. This is hurtful and hard to accept, but it is the truth.

8. Learn to enjoy your own company. Your 20s can be a lonely time as your social sphere narrows, due to employment, finances and exhaustion. Use this time to find out more about yourself and do the things that you enjoy. There is something liberating about eating at a restaurant alone. 

9. Be kind, don’t gossip or overshare. I am still working on this one. It is really difficult to be kind and positive in a world full of annoying people. However, your attitude will influence how you are being perceived. If you are unkind, people will laugh at your jokes but they will never trust you. They will never trust you not to treat them as you treat other people. Remove yourself from toxic people, and only share negativity (sadness/anger/depression) with a therapist and one other person that you trust. If you overshare negative feelings, you may be stereotyped as being full of drama. Furthermore, people will want you to stay in a negative place because it’s entertaining and makes them feel better about their own lives. Just don’t do it.

1. start studying a week before every quiz/test. seriously.

2. watch youtube videos/ted talks on the topics you are learning about.

3. get lots of sleep! sleep helps you process the day’s events, including what you learned.

4. write out your notes. it’s proven that handwritten notes help you learn better than typed out notes.

5. don’t just read what your professor gives you. find academic journals, books, etc. that correspond with your subjects.

6. read the news! especially in the social sciences/humanities, connecting concepts with current events helps you understand and process more easily.

7. exercise! this doesn’t have to be going on runs or lifting weights, it could even just be going for a 20 minute walk. just get your blood pumping, it’ll help you focus.

8. study at your desk. it may be tempting to study in bed, but your brain connects your bed with sleep, so you’ll get tired more quickly.

9. reviewing notes doesn’t have to be something you sit down and do for an hour. skim through them and test your memory while eating breakfast!

10. expand your study time throughout the day to avoid burnout. for example, rather than studying for 5 hours straight, study for an hour here and there in between your activities.

11. make your notes organized and easy to read, but not distracting. bright colors and flashy notes may seem better, but can sometimes distract from the purpose of the notes.

12. use apps such as quizlet. this way, you can go through definitions while waiting in lines or walking to class.

13. it’s more important to know concepts rather than facts. for example, you should be able to take what you know and apply it to different situations, not just the situation the textbook gives you.

14. just because the professor doesn’t require you to read textbook, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t. it helps explain concepts in a different way than your professor, and a lot of times hearing two different explanations for the same concept helps you understand it.

15. read in advance. read the textbook before your professor begins going over the chapter, so when he/she does, you can easily follow what they are saying.

16. do any extra credit work that comes your way. even if you don’t need the extra boost now, you might later.

17. go to class!! if you always skip class and show up at office hours completely lost on the concepts, they’ll laugh in your face. they’ll take you 100x more seriously if you show up.

18. however, if you are sick, take a day off. it’s more beneficial to you in the long run. 

19. learn how to say “no”. if you have an 8 am the next day, don’t stay out until midnight with your friends.