Hello! : 3

externally:

If someone is suffering and you want to help, instead of saying “let me know if there’s anything I can do,” offer a few options of things you know you can do.

“Can I do your dishes while you study for your exam?”

“Would it help if I came to the waiting room with you?”

“I can distract you if you like.”

Don’t kill yourself today

Because your Netflix trial still has a week left

Don’t kill yourself today

Because no one else will finish off the chicken in the fridge

Don’t kill yourself today

Because I know for a fact that Starbucks is releasing a new Frappuccino sometime next month

Yes, your mother will miss you

Yes your bully will make a sappy Facebook post about how what a a wonderful person you were

And yes

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem

You know that

You’ve known that

Everyone and anyone has been shoving that down your throat since they first learned what the word suicide meant

So don’t kill yourself

Until you finish your shampoo and conditioner at the same time

Don’t kill yourself

Until Doctor Who is finally cancelled

Don’t kill yourself

Until you tell someone your best pasta recipe 

Don’t kill yourself 

Because I will keep coming up with reasons for you not to

And I need you

To hear all of them

Don’t kill yourself

I love you

You’re important

It’s a bad day

Not a bad life

There is more to this

The world will keep spinning on its axis without you

But

Think of all the sunrises you’d miss

I know this sounds pointless

But when you’re sitting in front of everything deadly you own

Revising your goodbyes

There will be too much darkness 

To see anything else

But this is not about seeing anything else

This is about turning off the lights

This is about finding the bed instead of the noose

This is about giving yourself one more day

Even if it takes ten thousand of those

One more morning’s

Until

“I can’t wait for tomorrow”

This is about staying alive

Because there’s gonna be a new Marvel movie

No one should miss that

This is about staying alive

Because the future is coming 

And it’s ready for you

I don’ t need you to see it

I just need you to believe you can make it 

Until then

Becoming less verbal or nonverbal

Looking “spaced out” or detached from what’s happening 

Withdrawing, not wanting to be around people

Curling up in the fetal position

Hiding out under furniture, blankets, etc. 

As a few other posters have said, if the person shutting down is in a crowded, noisy, or otherwise threatening place, remove them to somewhere calmer and safer. Be gentle, since physical contact can make sensory overload worse.

Try not to ask too many difficult questions (and please do not ask them anything that could wait until later). Being in a shut down often makes executive dysfunction or language processing issues worse; even simple yes-or-no questions can be difficult to handle, either because it is frustrating to process the words, or to make a decision. Do not assume that they haven’t heard you if they don’t respond immediately.

I, personally, tend to be more prone to withdrawing or becoming irritable when I haven’t had food lately. If you know the person in question well enough to evaluate this, take this into consideration. The one question that’s always welcome to me is “do you want food?”. Not “have you eaten lately?” (requires memory + categorization), and not “what can I get you?” (requires decision making).

signs that their auditory processing isn’t working as well as it typically does, including frequently asking for things to be repeated for clarification (obviously the context matters with this one–if this is in a loud room or a room with several noises going on at once/if it’s a situation where most people would do this, then it’s likely not a sign of a shutdown, especially if no other signs are present)

not being able to give clear answers (ex. more frequent use of “i don’t know/care/understand”)

more difficulty processing what they’re seeing than is usual (can’t think of indicators of this)

having a harder time/not being able to read

basically anything indicating that their processing isn’t working as well as usual

obvious signs of increased anxiety/distress (rapid stimming, concerning expressions–looking expressionless, teary, angry, and/or frustrated, getting easily frustrated, unusual tone of voice/speech patterns)

most of these are signs i (sometimes) recognize in myself when i’m close to shutting down

and it’s important to remember that a couple of these doesn’t necessarily mean someone is shutting down, especially considering these should be changes and not just what’s typical for the person in question (ex. having constant problems processing audio)

some people also have individualized indicators, which you can find out by (as the previous commenter suggested) talking to/asking them

and if an autistic person tells you that they’re close to a shutdown or meltdown and they need something (to be somewhere with less stimulation, food/liquids, something to stim with, etc.) but they aren’t showing any signs of it, believe them anyway

You’re not a burden.

It’s okay to be struggling.

It’s okay to tell people you’re struggling.

Please tell people you’re struggling.

Don’t suffer in silence. Tell someone. Get help.

It’s okay to need help.

Please get yourself help.

You’re not the exception to recovery.

The world is more beautiful because you’re in it.

You’re worth it.

You’re a good person.

Thank you for existing.

You’re beautiful.

You’re not the exception to recovery.

Please stay alive.

If you’re looking for a sign not to kill yourself, this is it.

Please, stay alive.

People love you.

I love you.

Don’t give up.

You’re not the exception to recovery.