the divine effeminate

Food rots because it is evil

My pet milkfly

I think im becoming a milkfly

Im starting to feel just like a milkfly

ending a social interaction with a friend and thinking "I think we grew a little bit closer today." in my head as if I'm a dating game protagonist

girls will be like "i know a place" and take you to the hole at the bottom of the lake where the movies come from

when i was younger some wires got crossed so now a fistfight and sex are one and the same to me

by jane shroenbrun

"forgor" did irreversible damage didn't it

yeag

my friend was testing perfumes out at the store and she sniffed a bottle and anounced "ngl this bitch kind of sucks" The girl at the counter suddenly looked really sad, and my friend was like "I'm sorry, I wasn't talking about you." And the girl looked up and said "No don't worry, I didn't think that, but I just crushed a ladybug with my shoe" We both took a peak over the counter. she'd stepped on a red m&m

this post is like five posts per post

retracing ur steps to remember what u were about to say/do is so funny like yeah let me go stand next to the microwave for a second i think i dropped my thought over there. & then it works

Dude my coworker left a scrumptious cookie unattended

any time i copy paste a message to send to 2 different chats i feel like such a fake ass bitch but im choosing to look at it as the digital equivalent of standing in a doorway hollering so people in both rooms can hear me

“what’s stopping you from-“ listen i am so so sleepy