chapter twenty-something

Remember - this too shall pass. Don’t give up.

much love. 

it’s been such an emotionally and mentally tough week; honestly thinking all this stress is taking a toll on me and its funny as this was optional, i chose this route so there’s no one to blame but myself. let’s hope this pays off. i’ve been struggling with my essays for over a month now, its crazy. i don’t even know how to handle myself anymore. it’s not like i’m working at it 24/7 but i think if i did that, i’d truly lose my mind. i need breaks, i’ve been getting frequent headaches from this stress.  emotionally, it’s my third year missing chinese new year again; missing reunion dinners with my family again, missing my loved ones again, it just sucks. and my friends are all traveling, i wish i could do that like what i did last year at least it will take my mind off things. skyping with my family is just the last straw, i don’t think there’s ever a year where i’ve not cried about missing cny. its just tough but as my dad says, “what’s easy in life?”  just another year to buckle up, pull myself together and get through this. but anyway, have a happy reunion and a happy chinese new year everybody :) remember to cherish your loved ones.

Oh wow, I didn’t realise it’s been two weeks since I’ve last written anything but I’ve been crazy swamped with assignments and readings I’ve got to do by the end of the month. fifteen thousand words, I can’t imagine what it would be like to write a dissertation but I’ll worry about that when the time comes. I’ve been stressing out so much -- it’s all showing on my face. crazy breakouts everywhere! I thought when I’m old enough, when I’ve reached twenty there wouldn’t be anymore skin problems?! Guess not.

I’ve had a fairly good day.  Went to the library decently early, had a salad for lunch, treated myself with a cup of coffee, had a nice dinner (herbal soup), played an hour of sports and a run afterwards.  But now I’m crying. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s all the stress that I’m facing but I’m not admitting, I don’t know. Or maybe I just wish, for once, that he picks me.

Sure, 10% can get by without having an actual CV but I’m sorry, 90% demands a CV and what would your CV contain if you’re not actually doing something great, at least there is a degree (however ‘obsolete’ it is becoming in the twenty first century).

anyway if you want to have a look at my other tumblr, its here :)

I’m in the Diamond already because I wanted to get a good spot and by good spot I mean a seat in a booth. There are limited booths in the Diamond, its a shame really because there’s really a lot of space that can be better utilised i.e. fit more booths in but anyway, I’m here at a pretty decent time and there are NO booths.  I’m not frustrated because all the booths are taken, I’m frustrated because all the booths are taken by material THINGS instead of PEOPLE. They leave their belongings here from god knows when/what time, it could even be from the night before but it’s NOT OK if you’re not here physically and you’re HOGGING up the booths. It’s fine if you went for a 10 minutes bathroom/coffee/cigarette break but not if you come back in an hour or two, sometimes even four to five for ‘your’ booth. Usually I’ll just sit in the booths anyway despite it being hogged by their books, pens and papers (and I’m decent enough not to call the library police to clean out your stuff) because fuck it, if you can shamelessly hog up a perfectly good place, I can too. So you can wipe that ‘surprised’ look on your face when you return from god knows where.

So Uber is really kicking off well and it is more noticeable now. I currently live in England but I go back to Kuala Lumpur in the summer from time to time. Uber is not given a warm welcome in KL even though it has seriously done some good for customers, the cab drivers are pissed off and who can blame them? Uber is taking away businesses for cab drivers and it makes life harder for them. Anyone can be an Uber driver in KL provided that you have a valid driving license and if you have a good enough car* (from what I am aware off).  Some say it’s unfair that cab drivers’ hard earned money are innocently cut off just because some company decided to start this business but why would consumers such as the average person like myself opt for Uber instead of a regular taxi?  Most cabs are not metered in KL. The prices are disgustingly jacked up because they turn off the meters. Rumours have that even if the meters are on, it is tampered with so that the cab drivers can jack the price up but making it seem like it’s just how things work (but I don’t know how true this is so don’t take my word on it). I’ve sat in cabs before and the service is less than friendly. I don’t expect a good, inspiring conversation but I do expect that if I have a hand luggage, you would come down and help me with it or maybe say thanks when I pay?  The experience that I’ve gotten from all the Uber-ing I’ve done have always been satisfying because the system is very transparent. I can rate the driver and the driver can rate me on being a passenger. I understand that there can be shitty passengers sometimes like drunk ones who would puke in the car or plain rude passengers who can’t appreciate a good service which is why this service is good. A regular cab would not warn you of how bad the cab driver is, there’s no stars or lack of them to let you know that, “hey heads up this driver has a bad rating and would probably be rude to you.” (ok I know not ALL cab drivers are rude, its just that compared to Uber drivers, a stark difference can be seen.) So yeah, i don’t think cab drivers in Malaysia has a right to be mad. Customers would flock back to you if there’s more transparency, better service and better prices. It’s just business. Stop being mad about it - improve the system.

I do have another tumblr but I thought I’d make another one, in conjunction of the new year, so let’s try to make this one stick (this is not a resolution because we all know how that’s going to end too). I’ve had several (now, unattended) blogs before because I feel the need to start afresh every time I feel that I’ve changed or moved on from myself (like closing a chapter). So this is the current me - a twenty something me and all that comes with it (the bad, the ugly but also the good).