Life is a F*cking Nightmare

Get to know BILL CIPHER who’s THIRTY-ONE years old and works as a POLITICIAN in town. He is from CORONA and is often times mistaken for DANE DEHAAN while others say he reminds them of BILL CIPHER from GRAVITY FALLS

TW: Drugs, alcohol, violence, self harm, cults, religion talk(?), murder (implied), animal death  

Bill Cipher as a Ring Master

He turned around when one of the noises got too loud and saw a woman walking behind him. He didn’t know her super well, but he’d heard whispers of her having magic. Strong magic. He paused for a moment so he could fall in step with her. “An interesting meeting today, yeah? Sometimes I think some of those royals just talk because they love the sound of their own voice.” 

@lilithsfair​

She’s heard the little shop bell chime – and Magda looked up from her mixing. Mixing a tonic, a potion? No… rather… the herbs for a charm. It was Mr Cipher, and, in general, she didn’t mind him. But here… “Ah, yes. Welcome… I suppose I’ve been well, considering all.” She raises an eyebrow – just the one – at him. They should… catch up? Sounded like trouble. And Magda liked trouble. “Hmm, I see. Well, in that case, would you like to take a seat in the back room? I’ll be with you in a moment, and I can bring you some tea…”

“Oh, well don’t look so happy to see me,” he said with a smirk. She didn’t seem fully annoyed by his presence but she definitely didn’t seem entirely pleased either. “Sure, sounds good. Just don’t poison me, or that’ll make things a little more awkward for both of us,” Bill gave a slight wink as he walked toward the back, looking at all the different tonics and potions and charms and... well it almost seemed everything Magda had lying around. “Impressive stock you have around here. Sometime you’ll have to tell me what all these things do,” he knew some, obviously, but definitely not as much as Magda when it came to these sorts of things. Not that he’d fully admit that ever, though.

@magdalomaniiia​

Eris knew she was right and she didn’t need to hear him say it. He was good with his words, without a doubt, but he wasted them on the weak. And her belief in that is why she can talk to him the way she does. He wasn’t used to be around strong-willed people. And as much as Eris believed in him, she still knew he could be better. So she pushed. She was good at pressing people’s buttons, but she was even better at pushing his buttons. And his question had her smirking debating on how she wanted to answer. Finally, he was where she needed him to be, and she wanted to help him. She always wanted what was best for him. But he had been slacking for so long that she needed to see him do better. “You can handle this. Poppy trusts me more than you right now…and I plan on keeping it that way until you ca prove yourself. We can’t be connected, right?”

He gave her a look, a little confused, but whatever. Eris had her own plans. “Fine. Just give me your input, do I put in an anonymous tip that I think this guy was involved with the stabbing of that kid, or do I just ask one of our guys on the inside to bring him up as a suspect? Or is framing him for that too easy.” He was more just thinking out loud. “Am I allowed to ask what it is that you’re planning with Poppy? You gonna try to hype me up” he jested. “Listen, I won’t interfere with what you’ve got planned, I won’t let her know we’re connected. But just... Listen, I don’t give a fuck what happens to any of her friends, just make sure you don’t get her hurt.” Bill then quickly added, “Not because I’m soft for her or whatever shit you think, but because I don’t want to take away my kid’s mom.” He crossed his arms, leaning against her desk, thinking a bit more on what she’d said. “Until I can prove myself to who, Eris. Her or you? Just curious so I know who I have to suck up to to move things along.”

“That’s none of your business,” she snaps quickly, despite the fact that it actually is his business who she did or didn’t tell about what she had saw that night. But Poppy had never made any comments on his love life - had outright told him that she didn’t need to know about that if he didn’t want to share it, so he had no right to question her own. Later, once Bill had left and she’d calmed down from all the anger this fight had arose in her, she’d realize there was probably some truth in his words - that it wasn’t a good sign that when all of that had gone down the first person she had ran to was Angelo and not Branch… But right now she’s too upset to think about any of that. Watching him moving backwards and fumbling with his words, the anger doesn’t dim any but she does feel a pang of guilt buried deep underneath it. Not that he doesn’t deserve this - everything she said was true; it would be easier to kick him out of Lily Rose’s life for good and that probably was the smartest decision to be made - but that didn’t mean she had seriously meant it. If he had continued to push her, Poppy likely would have made that final decision, but it was obvious he realized he’d messed up. With a heavy sigh, she shook her head a little. “I didn’t mean it. I was making a point,” she explains. “I’m not taking her away from you. But don’t… Don’t act like this is easy for me. Like any of this has easy. And don’t ever talk about my friends like that again, understand?”

Eris is probably one of the only people in the world Bill trusts. 

He was first attracted to her because of her ability (and because she’s attractive) but then they became closer and she is definitely his most trusted confidant. 

Their relationship is messy and chaotic, but so are they. They have their occasional hookups along with their ever-constant game of riling the other up. 

If anyone else spoke to him the way Eris does at times, he would do everything he could to make their life hell or try to have them killed, but he doesn’t care as much when Eris does it. Sure it still pisses him off, but in a different way that he kind of enjoys. 

Bill appreciates all that Eris does for him more than he ever lets her know. He notices a lot of the little things she does for him, but he rarely acknowledges them. 

He would never say that he cares deeply for Eris, but he does. He truly doesn’t know what he would do without her, both because his life would become a lot harder without her powers or the information she gathers for him, but also because he’d miss her company. Though he wouldn’t actually tell her that. He barely likes to admit that to himself. 

He has--in both serious and joking manners--hinted about how he feels towards her, though he knows she never takes him seriously.

He often does what Eris tells him to because she’s usually right about things, but he never acts happy to do those things. 

She’s the only person who’s seen any of his vulnerable sides.

He does worry that one day she’ll turn on him and spill all his secrets, causing him to lose both her and his power, but she seems loyal to his group and sometimes, if he really squints to see it, there are times it seems like she almost cares about him as a person, too.

Poppy has put up with a lot of shit let me tell you that.

They met randomly and ended up having a little fling that ended for lots of reasons but a big one was that Bill made it pretty clear he had no romantic feelings for her and their relationship would probably never become anything more than physical.

Bill honestly had no intention of maintaining any sort of relationship with Poppy when they went their separate ways because they really are quite different people. But when he heard she was pregnant he really had to continue some sort of amicable relationship.

Bill tries and he knows that Poppy doesn’t really see all of that because what is him trying his best is still what most people would call an asshole.

He respects Poppy a lot. As a person, but mostly as a mother. Of people he’s had one night stands with, Poppy is definitely one of the ones he’d trust most as a parent.

Whenever things get bad in their relationship, he knows it’s his own fault and whenever he gets mad it’s rarely ever actually at Poppy. Her friends sometimes, yes, but rarely ever her. He trusts she knows what she’s doing as a parent. She definitely knows more than he does.

He doesn’t want her to find out anything about his cult because not only does he know he’ll never see his daughter again, but there’s so much other stuff that’ll just go so fucking wrong for him and he really doesn’t want that. 

He doesn’t have really any of the same attraction to her as he once did. He knows it’s not the best analogy, but he would compare their relationship to that of business partners. Though, he knows that’s probably not the way to describe the relationship with the mother of your child, but he really doesn’t know what else to call it. They’re closer than acquaintances, but he wouldn’t call them friends. 

At the obvious anger growing inside of him as well, Poppy stiffens and prepares for a fight. It’s not something she’s very good at, but she’s also never been one to just give in so easily and not stand her own ground. “I asked to try to give you a chance to explain yourself - not try to retell the entire story to shine yourself in a perfect light,” she answers back, even if that wasn’t necessarily exactly what Bill had done, it sure was what it felt like to her. “So you thought that it was a smart idea to insult and provoke someone who knew about what happened between us? Do you realize how hard it was to talk him down from going over to fight you the day I told him? The fact that you were able to make one comment at all to him is really saying a lot - and you know what, Bill? I wouldn’t have blamed him if he had punched you on sight. I’d have been upset and I am upset at him still regardless, but even I wanted to kill you the day I found you like that. So yeah, I’m going to trust him when he tells me you provoked him.” At the mention of trusting her friends over him, Poppy begins to shake a little bit in her anger - the orange glow down a dark almost blood tinted shade. If there was one thing that she did not take well, has never taken well, it’s saying anything about her friends. Even something as innocent as just saying that she trusts them too much. “Don’t you dare tell me who I can and can’t trust. You of all people get no fucking say in that, understand? Never did I say what he did was justified - but you know what?I’m starting to think maybe it had been. Maybe you’ve deserved that for a long damn time. And I know he didn’t lie to me - he had no reason to lie to me. He told me what he said, he admitted to the drug comment, so why would he lie about everything else?” As soon as the name of their daughter comes out of his mouth, her chest tightens - already knowing whatever he’s about to say next is going to push her overboard. “No. No, no. Don’t you fucking dare. Don’t you dare turn this around on me. First off, Angelo is the only person I’ve told about this. And he would never say anything about it to Lily Rose. And I don’t ever want her finding out any of this about you - how fucking dare you say that I do. How fucking dare you say any of this is fucking easy for me. You want me to start making the easy decisions? Fine. You’re done. Out of her life for good. That’s the easy decision here. That’s what’s probably right for my daughter.” She takes a few steps forward, closing some of the gap that Bill had created between them by his own backwards movements. “But for your sake, I’ve been trying to make things work. I’ve been giving you a second chance. One that you just said you wanted. I’m not the bad guy here because I’m not the one that messed up. That’s you. You are the one in no place to talk about my friends or the decisions I make as a mother.”

Shaking her head, Poppy doesn’t give in as easily as she normally would have. Doesn’t fall for the way he promises to cut back and tries to ensure it it’s not as big of a deal as she thinks it is. The bad luck only played a small part in that though, the majority of her distrust coming from her overall concern and worry about Lily Rose. “I still don’t believe that. I’ve seen casual drug use and that wasn’t the same. And saying you’ll cut back doesn’t mean anything. How long will this cutting back last? When will you decide it’s not worth it anymore?” she asks, staring at him and expecting an answer despite how rhetorical the questions sounded. “I do want to trust you. I don’t think you realize how hard it is for me that I don’t trust you. That’s not… That’s not really how I am. The list of people I don’t trust is very small.” She hopes he understands what that means. How badly he has fucked up to end up where he is. But the annoyance she feels dims a bit at the compliment at her parenting. It’s something she logically already knows is true, that she’s doing a good job at raising Lily Rose so far, but like with almost every other mother she still has her doubts - so hearing it confirmed is always nice. Especially when it comes from the father of her child, someone who’s say in the person raising Lily Rose actually held any weight. “I do care about your opinion on this, actually. You’re her father… And despite my obvious issues with a lot of the things you do, that doesn’t mean I don’t know that you care for her.” That’s what made all of this quite so hard - knowing that Bill loved their daughter just as much as Poppy did. If he were simply staying around out of obligation it would be so much easier to just kick him out of their lives for good. But she couldn’t do that to him. Not when she knows how hard it is to lose a child - even if her experience was different than this, Poppy’s still fully aware of just how hard it would be on Bill to be permanently removed from Lily Rose’s life. “That’s the only issue I have with you on a parenting level… But I do have a bone of my own to pick with you personally.” The annoyance from earlier spikes again as she thinks back to the day after Battle of the Bands, when she’d run into Angelo and he’d explained everything that had happened between himself and the father of her child. “Why - when you already know how upset I am with you - would you go around antagonizing my friends? Why was any of that called for? I know you’ve had issues with Branch before, but I’m also aware he is the one who starts most of it, so I’ve always given you a pass on that. But Angelo? I know he didn’t start that.” Despite how probable it could have been for Angelo to be the one to indeed actually start it, she trusts him when he told her he hadn’t. Because he’d known Poppy didn’t want him doing that for her sake - and just like she trusted him full-heartedly, she felt confident he felt the same and would have respected her wishes to leave Bill alone. Unless provoked, of course, which is what she knows happened.

He really doesn’t know what to say. Because he knows he can’t just say sorry, I only do drugs when I need to convince my followers I’m communing with inter-dimensional beings because that’s fucking insane. He knows it’s insane to anyone outside of his group. Hell, sometimes it feels like a stretch that even everyone in his group fully believes him on that sort of shit. He also knows she’s not stupid and even if he says he’ll stop, she won’t believe him. That’s why he said he’d try to cut back because at least that was more believable. So he just nods. “I’ll... I’ll figure something out,” he finally settles on. No promise of going to any NA meetings or seeking professional help. But he does want her to know that he’ll try. At least a little. He nods again. Because he does care about her. He thinks about what Eris said, about how Lily Rose can’t ever be a part of his full life because Poppy would literally murder him if she not only found out about the cult but that he also brought Lily Rose into that environment. But there’s something so much more than all that. Lily Rose was the first person to just... care for him. Not because they felt obligated or because they believed he was some chosen one or anything like that. She just was happy to be around him because that’s how babies are. But he would be lying if he said that it didn’t feel nice. And she was probably one of the first people he genuinely cared for for the sole reason of just existing. It was odd, and he didn’t fully understand it, but he knew he would kill to keep his daughter safe and he’d be more than just crushed if she got taken out of his life, so... that had to mean something. His brow furrowed though, and then he lets out a laugh. “Well. In my own defense, I didn’t know Angelo was one of your friends until he made a comment about what had happened between us. All I did was maybe egg on a person I saw perform the stupidest fucking song while still looking deadly serious and I was curious. All I did was ask about that. He made a comment about, well, drugs. And I may have commented back. But clearly,” he motions to his still bruised face, “Things escalated a lot farther than I thought they would.” He’s getting pissed at Angelo all over again--hey, he had a name, that was great, would make ruining him a whole lot easier-- but he takes a breath to calm himself down. “I wouldn’t have even spoken to him if I knew he was your friend. But I genuinely didn’t know who he was, but he knew who I was. So technically, sure, I guess I antagonized him in just in a joking way about his performance--not insulting him, just talking to him-- but he took it a step further and then well, frankly, beat the shit out of me.” Would Poppy buy him as a victim? Probably not completely. But he wasn’t lying, and his face was fucked up. When he did see angelo’s anger rising, even after the first punch, did he continue to insult him and get him more riled up? Yes. But he could claim at that point it was just him throwing insults around like Angelo was throwing punches.

Things… were not going great. She didn’t know why or what was happening, but it just seemed like almost everything that could go possibly go wrong in Poppy’s life was. The only positive she’d had so far was somehow it seemed like Branch was too distracted to notice all of the things she’d been confessing. Or he did see it all and once again decided that it wasn’t something he wanted to face - a trait of his that Poppy was for once a little bit thankful for at the moment. But of course just because Branch was keeping his distance doesn’t mean she’d be lucky enough to avoid all confrontation. Opening the door, the last person she expected to see was Bill - which was dumb of her, but what’s new there - and it takes a brief moment for her to react. That second of hesitation is enough for him to jump right into what it was he came here to say - no pleasantries or hellos. Standing there, listening to everything he says, Poppy can’t help the sinking feeling in her stomach. Like she had fucked up, despite the fact that she logically knew she was completely within her right to feel the way she did. Within her right to say thing the things she had - even if normally they weren’t something she’d admit so openly. “I - I don’t want you to leave her. I’m not - “ she stops herself from saying she’s not going to kick him out of Lily Rose’s life because that’s not something she can promise right now. Not with everything going on with him. “I know you’re trying. And I want you to try. I want you to be in her life. You’re her father.” It’s vague and she knows that but words are escaping her. 

Until suddenly they aren’t. Everything she’s feeling just spewing out before she can think it through or stop herself - the bad luck coursing through her to confess. “I don’t trust you with her. I don’t trust anything you told me about your drug usage being light and not a big deal. You weren’t at a club or a party, Bill. You were by yourself at your home on a random night tripping on acid. That’s not something a casual drug user does. I don’t want that around my daughter. I don’t really want you around her anymore. But I don’t think that’d be best for her. If I thought you being out of her life was what she needed, you’d be gone. But it’s not. Having her father around outweighs that. That’s why I’m giving you another chance.” Stopping for a moment, she tries her best to leave it at just that. It’s all she would have said if she weren’t so heavily influenced by Eris’s magic right now. “It’s going to be harder, yeah, because I don’t trust you. You’ve already said you have no interest in stopping. You aren’t willing to take the steps to win that trust back so I’ll be honest with you, it’s going to keep being hard. I don’t know if I’ll ever fully trust you with her again.” Running a hand through her hair with a shaky hand, she tries to stop once more - but to no avail. “The best ‘damn life’ for her is having a reliable father around. Someone that she and I can trust to be there for her. So no, you leaving won’t be the best for her. But being here the way that you are isn’t either.”

He listens to everything she says, and he just listens to the words spill out of her. All her thoughts and feelings, no barrier because of Eris. “Okay,” he said with a short nod. “It’s complicated, which I know doesn’t sound great, but it is light. There’s nothing I can say that’ll make you think it’s okay, and I know that, but I promise that it’s not as bad as it seems. And I can’t promise that I’ll stop completely, but I will cut back.” Or at least enough that he won’t technically be lying to Poppy. “I don’t expect you to fully trust me right now, that’s totally fair. But as long as I try to be better, I hope you can try to trust me more. I don’t want to leave her life, and I want to be there for her. So if you’re still okay with me being in her life, I want to be the best that I can for her.” He ran a hand back through his hair. “I also want you to know that I’m never mad at you for any of the choice you make. I completely get where you’re coming from and honestly if you weren’t concerned or had complete and total trust in me after all that, that wouldn’t sit well with me. I know you don’t care about my opinion on that, which is fine, I just like... You’re doing a good job, being a mom.” He took a breath. “I would also like to know what things you think I could do better. Dealing with my drug issue, definitely top of the list, got that. Is there anything else you want me to do or work on or like... anything? I want to be the best I can for her, and I’m still trying to figure out how to do that.” Because he was pretty sure he’d get an honest answer out of her right now, which is what he wanted. And he did want to be there for Lily Rose, but whether or not he would truly do all that Poppy asked of him, or at least to the extent she could potentially ask him to, had yet to be seen.

eris knew what he was trying to get her to say and she was having no part of it. “do you need me to slap you? have you lost your damn mind? did you forget the many authoritative figures that are a part of your cult? have you really let the glowstick and her raggedy friends make you feel so small?” she tilted her head to the side, eyes locked with his as if she was challenging him. “i can’t believe the big baddie is afraid of the first guy who gave him a black eye.” she wasn’t going to talk about his child any further. she was not going to bend to his silly little game. “the bill cipher i know isn’t such a coward. he takes what he wants because he can. he’s the chosen one. and there is no one on this island more powerful than him. he doesn’t even need magic to make the people here do his bidding,” she raised an eyebrow. “the person in front of me? not the same.”

He’s silent. Because she’s right. He’s not going to say it though because he’s pretty sure she already knows it. Maybe that’s why he was here, really. Because he was losing his mind and knew she’d talk some sense into him. But he’s still mad. Not at Eris but because everything she’s said is true. What the fuck is wrong with him? Why was this freaking him out so much? Probably because it’d been a long time since any of his actions had consequences. “Fine,” he said tersely. He looked over at her desk. He thought for a moment. He let the anger shift from just pure rage to something he could target into something. And as much as he would love to keep yelling at Eris because she’s right there, he instead wanted to prove her wrong. Or at least get her looking at him in a better light. He looked back at Eris. “Okay. Fine. You bring up some good points. Let’s fix that, then. I certainly don’t want to look like a coward, and I suppose I got a little... paranoid about everything, so thank you for snapping me out of it. You can slap me if you want to, though, that might make things a little more interesting,” he wasn’t going to say she was right, but he was going to try and change her view, or fall into this like reverse psychology. Because he definitely needed her to stay on his side, and he definitely didn’t want that image of him to stay in her mind. “You made a career out of ruining people’s lives, right? You gonna help me frame someone for a crime he didn’t commit, or are you going to make me do this on my own to prove a point.”

eris was angrier than she had been, and it cast an eerie feeling into the room. she wasn’t the type to act as rash as bill but perhaps the sight of poppy had brought that side out of her. “she wasn’t the right choice,” eris finally said. her hands were clutching her papers tightly as if she was going to hurl them at him even though it wouldn’t make a difference if she did. “i still don’t understand how you could have a child with her. how will your kid ever be a part of your group? the mother is too weak to ever be part of all of this. how you could grow attached to a literal glowstick is beyond me.” she got up, shoving past him to open the door to her office. “i think you should leave. maybe come back when you remember the hard work people put in for you. that there are people on the island who accept your hot-headed theatrics.” she looked back at him. “or kill me for stepping out of place and be done with it. i don’t know what more you could want when you come around here yelling at me like this.”

He scoffed at her response. “I didn’t choose to have a kid with her,” he snapped back. “And don’t you fucking think I’m extremely aware of all of that? I know that she can’t be a part of any of this. And I almost don’t want her to be because I know it wouldn’t work.” He was livid as Eris shoved past him. She told him to leave, but his blood was running too hot to do that. He made his way over, shutting the door again, not needing anyone else around to witness anything that was going on. Bill stood face to face with her. “The only attachment I have to Poppy is my daughter. And I don’t even fucking know how much longer that’ll last because guess what, you’re right. Neither of them can even know about my group. I fucked up. She wouldn’t have been my first choice, she wouldn’t’ve even been my tenth choice to have a kid with. But it happened. And maybe it shouldn’t have. Maybe I should’ve known better than to try to be a part of her life. And don’t think I forget that you’re probably one of the only ones who fully puts up with me. But you going around, fucking with Poppy’s luck could so easily make all these things worse for me. Because what if somehow that made her lucky enough to find out all that she doesn’t know about me. What if she called the cops, or told one of her psycho friends. This is what they do to me when they know I do drugs,” he motioned to his face, “Don’t wanna know what they’d do if they found out I run a fucking cult.” His anger isn’t gone, but he’s not shouting anymore. he’s not seeing as much red. “Maybe I came down here yelling at you because like you said, there are only a few fuckin’ people willing to put up with my bullshit. And none of them put up with me as much as you do, and for some unknown reason, you’re like the only fucking person I trust. And maybe I’m just angry at you because I’m fucking terrified of what’s going to come for me when all of the lies I built up come burning down around me.” He let out a heavy sigh and looked at the ground. “You’re also the only person that can piss me off like you just did and it doesn’t make me want to kill you.” Bill looked back at Eris, his hand still pressed firmly against the door. “And for the record, I knew why you hate Poppy, so I wasn’t asking about her. I wanted to know why you seem to hate my daughter. Is it because her mother is the ‘wrong choice’?” he cocked his head to the side a bit. His voice is steadier and quieter, but there’s still anger boiling through him. Not all of which is directed at Eris. He’s just enraged and he’s been taking it out on Eris, which he knew wasn’t fair. “Because if that’s the case, and since you seem to know so much about what’s best for me, then please. Enlighten me. Who would be the right choice.” It isn’t a question.

Bill knocked on the door, hoping it’d be Poppy that answered. He definitely wasn’t in the mood to have to talk to literally anybody else first. And when the door opened and it thankfully was her, he didn’t do any greetings, he just went into it. “I know I’m a shit person like ninety percent of the time. I don’t know how to be a good dad, but I am trying, and I want to keep trying. But if you want me gone, just tell me. If you think that me being out of the picture would give her the best life, then that’s what I’ll do. And unless you want child support or like a college fund or something, you’ll never have to hear from me again. I just feel like this whole being a part of her life thing is so much harder when you don’t want me around her. I guess I thought wanting to be a part of her life was the right decision to make, and I guess if I was literally anybody else it would’ve been.” he took a deep breath. He had to pause for a moment, some feeling rising up in his chest but it wasn’t anger. He wasn’t sure what it was but he wasn’t a fan. “Just fucking say it to my face that you want me out of her life, and I’ll go. Or tell me what I can do to make things better so I can stay. Because all I fucking want is for that little girl to have the best damn life, and if that means that I don’t get to be a part of it then so fucking be it.” 

@artsandpoppy​

“No.”