loss of autonomy.

not knowing how to do anything without explicit permission or instruction.

feeling like you’ll get in trouble if you do anything on your own will.

waiting until you’re given permission to do so much as eat.

not feeling like your body is your own.

i see so many posts on here abt how polyamory is so “annoying” and polyamorous ppl are “cringe” and dont face any sort of oppression, as if half this fucking website forgets that in most, if not all, western countries outlaw polyamorous marriage

like there are posts and posts on here about how polyamorous people dont also face societal oppression, as if polyamory isnt frowned upon in western society? as if saying “my boyfriend’s girlfriend” or “my girlfriend’s husband” isnt a common fucking joke punchline, and will give you weird looks if you try to drop it casually within a conversation

We regularly get told that our relationship isn’t child-friendly. Concerned parents corner us and ask us not to “bring our lifestyle around their children” even though we didn’t do or talk about anything inappropriate.

My city apparently has an ordinance that prevents more than three people living together unless they’re related by blood or marriage (not that we pay any attention to it, but our landlord could LEGALLY evict us if she found out).

When we had to take my wife to the emergency room due to severe chest pains, our boyfriend had to sit out in the waiting room, scared and alone, while waiting for me to text him updates.

And I’ve just resigned myself to not being able to have kids because of all the legal issues that could arise if a bunch of polyamorous trans people tried to adopt.  

But because I left the "perfect husband material" for a loving poly relationship cross country, i was suddenly being brainwashed. I was going to be kidnapped and possibly killed. And if it didnt come to that, the relationship was so very obviously not going to work out and I'd be stranded 3000 miles away from home without anyone to help me (I have friends and family nearby that arent said parents btw).

So my parents were doing everything they could to stop me from moving, trying to get me to break up with my partners. I always told them they were wrong and they couldn't stop me. I'm 24 (almost 25 now) and wanted this. I didnt care that I was leaving a plush upper-middle class life at home with my parents to live a lower class life with loving partners. All I cared about was finally being in a relationship with people that accept me for everything that I am. Even with struggles, I have never been happier than I am with my wonderful partners in this poly relationship.

It honestly saddens me that it's so frowned upon and even illegal in most states to have this. There are so many benefits to being poly, even outside of romance. It's damn near impossible to afford a place on your own or just between two people. But three or more? Hell yeah. It's a lot less stress all around.