⛈️

it was a clenched jaw holding back a thousand reasons to break

it was sleep deprived from me every night

it was laughter rehearsed in the mirror because no one likes the sound of breaking

you called it calm I called it survival.

but you never noticed how my hands kept burying themselves into my thighs just to feel something still mine,

to keep my spine supported to seem stable—presentable

my body told you so

in the tightness of my fists the headaches that didn’t leave the way I fidgeted when I felt your eyes on me when we shared the same space

you didn’t listen, you never noticed

when my skin got goosebumps like a warning when my breath shortened like it wanted to run when you touched me

when you acted like you knew me

when affection was used as manipulation

you mistook my quiet for healing

but I was just trying not to bleed on your white floors

you would've made me clean

I stayed small so you wouldn’t deal with me with my heart with your fault

now, my silence will never be mistaken for consent i told you so —not with words but with the absence of me.

loud enough now?

—(My body) told you so

Source: @chaosmindthoughts

but guilt kept it alive

I paid for it in remorse.