Chaos

This is a kink blog so MDNI, 18+ please and thanks,

I don't know what I'm doing anymore, I'm so close to loosing my mind I can feel it I'm fucking stuck, I'm really bad at articulating my feelings so I'm just going to put my vent notes on here, it's hwere I write when I'm having a hard time or a panicked attack or suicidal thoughts I genuinely don't know what to do naymkre I can't find a job and this is all I have left to go to... I don't even have my therapist anymore I ran out of free sessions and I can't afford 300 plus dollars along with rent and food I feel so selfish

It would be so easy to take more of thoes pills, we hate taking them they hurt it feels like we're choking we can't breath idk what to do I can't talk to el she's upset already jesse wouldn't get it idk what to do anymore.

Cutting would make us feel better now, I know we're trying to not to but it would help, el would be mad she would hate us, there's a knife right there scissors thin blade so easy it would be so easy we could relax we xpuld sleep I know well regret it but it would feel so good

Why can't I cry I need to cry I need it el cries so easy she said we could but I can't we can't cry why can't I cry whu can't I cry please God fucking hel me please I'll do anything on lvur of my fucking leg I'll do anything for help

Am I going crazy we don't need help it's ok we're ok we're not ok ok people don't think like this what tye fuck is weomf with me I'm wrong we're wrong what did I do everything I do is fucked I couldn't help *redacted* what good are you if you can't help them what is yourb probel myou discrust me you fucking destructing piece of human garbage

I need help no one is listening to me I can't get a word in with my therapist it's like he has a plan for me and diddnt think to ask what I needed, I can't tell him how I'm doing becouse all we're talking about is how he thinks I'll get better he made a plan for me and its not working

I'm on the verge of relapse and no one gives a shit

Kara

Aight imma start with kara becouse yes first of this apllies for all of the main 3 and other androids I think that just for funzies imma say that sneezing is common in all androids as a self cleaning function so they have like vents in thier noses that can get triggered if blocked by too much dust debree or a allergen slice you get the idea, I also like the idea that once androids become deviant that they can get something similar to colds or react to cold weather/can become more sensitive or become allergic to some things, so for kara becouse I think it's fun after she becomes deviant she becomes really sensitive to dust and physical stimuli, I don't have much to say abt her tbh.

Prolly sound like:

Held back: HhIH'NgtX!-MpftChiew

Let out: EEhHd'Chhi!

Marcus

So Marcus I don't have much for either but cats he'd be allergic to cats idk why he just gives off that vibe

Held back: Hheh HEH'Chx!

Let out: HEH'DDDSSsshHHIIEW!!

Conner

MY BOY THE ANDRIOUD SENT BY CYBERLIFE!!!!!!! *ehem* I mean yes conner next, so I feel like he'd be really sensitive to the cold like he'd get all sniffly and sneezy when he's in the snow for a long time he'd also get thoes viruses I talked about and he'd get then once or twice every year like clock work, and hank takes care of him becouse we love hank and conner living together fucking love that found family shit dad hank forever!, the first time conner gets sick he's really scared and cries but then once he knows he'll be ok he's just tired and groggy for the rest of it.

Held back: HehhhH hEh hih hiIhhH'Dsh!-Dsh!-Shyew!

Let out: HhhEhh hHiH'ishyyew! IH'shew!

Eden club