Hi Chao! I saw someone comment on a tiktok edit about Nick being lonely “you seem pretty sad for a boy so in love” and it was honestly so interesting to me. What do you think of OCD!Nick ?
as a note, if you have a screenshot of this comment or could paraphrase it/have the link to the edit. i would LOVEEE to see. my nosy ass! oh i have so many thoughts about this actually and do, at some point, after i finish the nick having rebound sex with a man the same age as his father fic, want to write one where nick actually does get an OCD diagnosis in university. i think something that stood out to me in the film specifically was that charlie says, and i'm paraphrasing, "it's like nick is always trying to prevent something bad from happening in the future" and that, in my HUMBLEST of opinions is definitely at least one of the larger signs of OCD that i'm amazed Alice herself didn't catch? I think I've mentioned these two things somewhere but one: despite reading the webcomic multiple times and rewathching the show more than that, i don't understand how/why Charlie has an OCD diagnosis because we don't see, beyond food/his anorexia, how his OCD manifests for him. and two: that nick is a very severe emotional perfectionist. and i do think it's worth saying that a couple of overlapping symptoms doesn't always mean someone has a whole disorder. i feel like we have this conversation more with autism and possibly bpd/c-ptsd but i think the same thing can be said for OCD as well. that being said-- nick trying to prevent mistakes from happening, nick feeling solely responsible for Charlie's mental health (as in He is the lone thing standing between Charlie being well and Charlie killing himself), nick believing if he's "not good", then Charlie will leave. personally, nick getting those flashbacks to his father abandoning him reads as rumination to me, although it's also likely that the nightmares with Charlie dying could definitely dredge up old hurts like that but even Nick telling his mum: "Dad really fucked us up didn't he?" normal question, but can also be read as him looking for validation that the way his father behaved WAS harmful and he's not making it up. Nick has a big habit of downplaying the bad things that have happened to him both in regards to his father *and* being Charlie's support when Charlie was unwell, something Elle and Tara call him out on in season three. nick shows a lot of GLARING signs for both anxiety and depression in the movie (and throughout all of the seasons, honestly. nick's own anxiety is often an undercurrent throughout their relationship that charlie doesn't catch bc he's too unwell himself to really see it), that i wouldn't be surprised if he either has OCD or struggles with compulsive anxiety behaviors that manifest in "good behavior", like his need to be the perfect boyfriend and act as if nothing is wrong even when he's really upset. and while nick's rather constant googling is meant to be sort of a cute moment-- that can also be something that links back to OCD/compulsive anxiety behavior. fact checking himself. i see nick as the type to constantly be asking himself if he's actually bisexual or if he's somehow making it up, comparing his relationship with charlie to tao and elle's/obsessing over tao and elle's failing relationship + everyone telling him teen relationships won't last. i definitely read nick's need to perform the perfect boyfriend role as being something he does because the idea of being broken up with or losing charlie would feel world ending to nick and that could also link to OCD as well. for nick, i see his ocd centering around his relationships with not only charlie but everyone. his dad, his mom, his friends. if nick says something wrong, will everyone leave him? do his friends even like him? is he being annoying at any given time? is he lying to his friends? things like that. i hope this makes sense!
