Creative Dabbler

Mask: The Link from Ocarina of Time and Majora’s Mask, and one-half of the Hero(es) of Time with Ocarina. He’s the older half despite being in the body of a twelve-year-old, and since he’s technically got the mind of an eighteen-year-old at the very least it looks verystrange from the outside. He’s snarky, sarcastic, and takes great joy in messing with other people, most specifically his younger self by refusing to give away future hints and claiming ~Spoilers~ every time it comes up. He carries his transformation masks and uses then whenever the situation calls for it. He can usually be found next to his younger self because he’s secretly worried about shattering his own personal timeline, and he puts a lot of effort into making sure Ocarina survives whatever mess they’ve gotten into this time. He also puts an equal amount of effort into making sure Ocarina doesn’t notice this

Dusk: The Link from Twilight Princess. He functions as one-third of the Leader Trio and is the quote-unquote 'ego’ - or, in othher words, he’s usually the mediating force. If it’s pointed out to him though, he will steadfastly deny that he’s in any suited for a leadership position - which is in blatant contradiction to the fact that he’s probably the most effective member of the Leader Trio. He carries the Curse Stone from Zant around his neck in a pouch and usles it to transform whenever the situation calls for it. He’s also the regular soul-host for Midna, Shadow, or both, depending on the day. He’s by far the most level-headed Link, taking almost everything in stride, and it takes a lot to make him lose his cool. The one surefire way to do it is to threaten someone he cares about, at which point he will waste no time completely destroying whoever was stupid enough to make said threat

RGBV: Red, Green, Blue, and Vio are the Link(s) from Four Swords Adventures, and like the Four they’re the result of one Link being split into four bodies. Unlike the Four, they’ve retained their individuality and have four very different personalities as a result. Green is the established leader of their quad-cell, and is the most level-headed one. He’s not the most patient one, but he is the one who’s not afraid to do what needs to be done. Red is the most emotional one, easily excitable and absolutely willing to give hugs to anyone who asks (and a few who don’t). Blue is the most aggressive one, although he mostly directs it towards his enemies. He doeshave a on-again-off-again rivalry of sorts with Vio, but it’s never gotten beyond particularly invested sibling bickering. Vio meanwhile is the book-smarts one, or at least the one with the most strategic intelligence. He’s also the best ranged fighter they have

Lore: The Link from A Link to the Past, Oracle of Ages, Oracle of Seasons, and Link’s Awakening. He functions as one-third of the Leader Trio, finishing off the dynamic as the 'id’. He’s by far the most unique personality, being a hyperactive chaos entity who delights in confusing people and making them question reality. He’s also a polyglot, knows at least ten languages, and is constantly hunting for new ones to learn. He’s easily the most experienced Link and as a result has Seen Some Stuff, but instead of being traumatized by the weirdness he decided to go in the other direction and embrace it instead. He’s an absolutely terrible shot in spite of his numerous adventures, but the sheer amount of stuff he has tends to make up for it. He hasn’t met a situation yet that he doesn’t have an item for and he’s not about to start now - although this is mostly due to his conviction that bombs are the answer to every situation

Realm: The Link from the original Legend of Zelda. He is constantly, hopelessly, chronically lost, and has absolutely no concept of where he is in relation to where everything else is. He also has a somewhat tenuous relationship with the concept of physical space, which tends to result in him getting lost in places he really should not have been able to get lost in (for example, a volcano). Regrettably this also extends to his items, which he frequently loses. In spite of this, he’s one of the most cheerful and optimistic Links in the group. It takes a lot to get him into a bad mood, and given what he already goes through while maintaining a good mood, the entire Chain has yet to see him in a bad one. A side effect of getting lost so much is that his stamina is absolutely ridiculous, which makes him very good at drawing out a fight - in fact, that’s more or less his specialty

Sketch: The Link from A Link Between Worlds. He has the ability to turn his body into paint and move along the walls like a living hieroglyph. Unfortunately, due to being made of watercolors when he does this, he also has a severe phobia of water as a result of the fact that he might actually die a horrifically painful death if his paint runs too much. Outside of that, he’s relatively level-headed and very crafty, in the literal sense that he likes to make things. He used to be a blacksmith’s apprentice before this whole Hero business got started (his specialty is metalwork). He likes things to make sense and gets a bit snarky when the universe decides to spite him by making no sense at all. He’s one of the best Links at stealth, because for some reason very few people will notice the artwork on the wall and as long as he has a surface to fuse with, he can get just about anywhere

Wind: The Link from Wind Waker. He carries said Wind Waker as part of his inventory, and it lets him control the weather. He’s a certified Weather Master in everything but the official certification, because he hasn’t had the chance to go back and take the test yet, but the ability to throw literal tornadoes at his enemies makes him arguably one of the most dangerous Links in the group. He does prefer to hang back in a fight and hit from a distance as opposed to getting up close and personal, but that’s very typical for a mage. He has an overabundance of patience, stored up from sailing for days back on his home ocean, and he’ll take just about anything in stride - unless you’re threatening his family, then all bets are off. He’s one of the quieter Links, being more content to wait and see the results of something rather than actively participating, but this in no way means that he’s not paying attention. He knows what he’s capable of, is fully willing and ready to do it if necessary, and makes no excuses to the contrary

Steam: The Link from Spirit Tracks. He has the ability to see hidden things, which extends beyond his own disembodied Princess Zelda and into things like mask spirits or just plain invisible opponents. He also has a summons in the form of the Spirit Train, which he takes great pleasure in slamming into whichever villain has annoyed him. He’s got a dry sort of sarcasm and he’s definitely not afraid to say what he thinks. As a result of spending most of his adventure on a Train, he’s easily the least physically fit of the Links and therefore tends to hang back in a fight, relying more on his summons for heavy hits or his sight ability to provide support. His previous career choice was a locomotive engineer, and as a result he and Sketch get along very well. They have regularly scheduled brainstorm sessions about what sort of gadget they should try and make this time, usually with Steam providing the math and schematics and Sketch providing the real-world experience to make it real

Shadow: The Link from a variety of games, since whenever a Shadow or Dark Link appears, that was him. He’s bitingly sarcastic, could not possibly care less about the opinions of other people, and takes great joy in finding the best way to insult someone as possible. Being formed from the darker emotions of other Links, he’s understandably in a poor-to-terrible mood almost all the time, although he can usually be convinced to take it out on other people. A side effect of being made of dark magic is that he can’t be out in the sunlight too long - it’ll start to burn him in the same way a match burns paper. As a perk though, he can manipulate his body into any shape he wants, mostly ignoring physics as he does. This makes him easily one of the most powerful Links in the group, since he doesn’t take battle damage the way a physically-bodied person would and is all but immune to being stabbed. He makes for an excellent aggro target, partly because he can take anything the opponent could give, but also because he’ll give it all back and then some

Oni: The Link from before Skyward Sword. Also known as the Fierce Deity. Saying that he’s overpowered is a bit of an understatement, as he can take out the likes of Majora in three hits or less, but he’s very unlikely to actually use his power like that. As a result of being put into a mask, he has no actual autonomy unless someone is wearing him, at which point he takes control of the body of the wearer to manifest in the real world. This lasts with no repercussions until his mask is removed, at which point Oni returns to his bindings. He has not deigned to explain how he ended up in a mask or who managed to put him there, but the loose implication points to the aftermath of the Demon War as the cause. Further information is pending. He’s stoic and composed, and has yet to be truly riled up by anything that’s happened. He also refuses, as a rule, to get involved with the rest of the Chain’s adventures unless his presence is truly required. As the First Link Ever, and the one from whom the entire rest of the lineage has descended, Oni feels somewhat responsible for guiding the rest of the Links through their journeys - but guiding and coddling are two different things and as far as Oni is concerned, his legacies need to be able to fight their own battles

THE SEQUEL LINKS Rune: The Link from Breath of the Wild. He has the Champion Abilities, as well as his own Quicktime specialty, and is of course concerningly amnesiac. He’s quiet to the point of almost being forgettable, which is a side effect of a) spending nearly all his time in the wilderness alone with nobody to talk to, and b) having to constantly be on the alert for Guardians because nothing alerts a Guardian like a loud hylian. His inventory is nearly bottomless, and he therefore immediately becomes the group pack mule. He’s also hands-down the best chef (something which makes Gen only slightly jealous)

Lux: The Link from Hyrule Warriors. He is the quietest Link, but not because of his personality - it’s because he can’t talk. The most vocalization he’s ever going to manage is incoherent yells of effort, because anything beyond that is locked behind a psychosomatic speech block. He has not deigned to share why he has a psychosomatic speech block and at the moment it’s highly doubtful he ever will. He’s second only to Shadow in his sarcasm and general displeasure with the world, and the rest of the group is lucky that hylian sign only has loosely defined curse words, otherwise he’d be going off

RSE: Ruby, Sapphire, and Emerald are the Link(s) from Triforce Heroes. Emerald is the leader of the trio, more or less, while Ruby handles anything that might need a good smacking and Sapphire embodies the emotional core. They have a strange dynamic where they bicker with each other to hide the fact that they care, which is a direct result of them still settling into their own dynamics. They have their Totem formation, of course, and share an incredibly specific set of opinions about fashion. The fact that they also have their entire wardrobe on hand is complete coincidence, yep

Lyric: The Link from Cadence of Hyrule. He can hear the Universe Music better than any other Link (with the possible exception of Wind) and he will do whatever he can to follow its lead. He’s constantly moving to the beat in almost everything he does, and it makes him unexpectedly deadly in a fight. It turns out that following the Universe Music gives very good buffs and Lyric is a master at following the music. Ironically enough for all his sense of rhythm, he cannot sing to save his life and is in fact instrumentally challenged, which annoys him to no end Tacet: The Link from Echoes of Wisdom. He doesn't speak much, partly because he spent years being physically unable to and forgets that he can, and partly because it's just... a lot. Despite this, he takes up a lot of space with loud gestures, loud body language, and loud fashion choices. He may be quiet but he will not be ignored. He's in a matching set with Echo (his Zelda) and they're more of less inseparable. He's persistent and determined and fluent in Sign, which unfortunately makes him an immediate target for Lux (translation) and Lore (TEACH HIM)

THE OC LINKS Codex: The Link from the Evil Overlord List, a story I write that somehow developed its own protagonist. He’s snarky, sarcastic, runs on caffeine and spite, and will probably take over the world someday if he ever gets around to it. He’s currently just a college student writing his thesis paper (The List), but once he graduates the world had better brace itself

Wraith: The Link that was made as a result of a random conversation one day, in which someone asked me what would happen if Demise won permanently. Five minutes with my angst-stunted brain later, I had a cheerful sunshine child who had the ability to see spirits and was getting mentored by all eighteen dead Heroes as the backup plan to deal with Demise. He’s way too pure for the world and probably shouldn’t be as big an optimist as he is for someone surrounded by dead people

THE BACKSTORY LINKS Archive: The Link who came before Breath of the Wild, the one from the 10,000-years-ago legend that we learn about in the game, who came about after somebody asked me my opinions on the Links that we know about but don't know about. He's the one who originally designed the Divine Beasts, Guardians, Towers, etc. alongside the Sheikah and the Princess Zelda of the time. He's a mechanic with the ability to bestow vague semi-sentience into whatever he builds, if he chooses to, hence the Divine Beasts and their possibly-sentient actions. He wears pants with an uncountable number of pockets, can and will do the thinking-out-loud Rubber Duck thing at anyone or anything sitting still long enough, and sees absolutely nothing wrong with bestowing semi-sentience on an explosive. What could possibly go wrong, it's a great idea

Mini: The Link who came before Minish Cap, the one we learn about in the prologue of the game who fought in the demon war that resulted in the Picori Blade being forged. He is very short, very salty about it, takes absolutely no nonsense and could probably be voted Most Likely To Stab As An Instinct. Not to say that he's violent, but he has active war trauma and will probably attack first, ask questions after. He's not too sure how he feels about the successors to his sword being as cheerful and easygoing as they are, but also he's adopting them all, immediately, no further deliberation necessary

Farore took another deep breath, actually calming down this time. “Yeah. Thanks, girls. What would I do without you?”

“Go crazy,” Din said matter-of-factly. “That's how Ordona went.”

“I remember her,” Nayru mused. “She was... odd.”

“Didn't she retire to be a Light Spirit in a goat province or something?” Farore asked.

The Three Sisters were silent for a moment.

“...Yeah, she was weird,” Din decided.

…………………………………………………………………………………

 Green, Blue, Vio, and Red surveyed the results of the latest attempt to close the hole, being a complicated setup involving a mirror, three bombs, time-delayed wicks, and an application of physics to invert the explosion.

It hadn't worked.

“...Dang,” Green sighed. “Alright, Vio, what's next on the list?”

Vio flipped open a book and paged through the contents before stopping a good ways in.

“By this point... we're down to either throwing things at it, or going and getting another magic-user to see if they know any different spells used for closing stuff. And as a last resort, asking nicely.”

“Somehow I doubt getting another magic user will do much,” Blue commented. “I mean, we've already tried all the spells Zelda sent with us, all six of the other Maidens already tried their luck, and I'm really not sure who else we could find that would have a better chance than them.”

“True...” Green said. “But that just leave us with...”

“Throwing things and asking nicely,” Vio supplied.

“What would we even throw?” Red wondered.

“Let's chuck a Cucco at it and see what happens,” Blue suggested. His three counterparts glared at him.

“That's a terrible idea,” Vio stated.

“If anything, that's going to get us killed,” Green added.

“So... that just leaves asking nicely?” Red asked curiously.

Everyone exchanged dubious looks.

“...If someone wants to try,” Green said doubtfully.

“I'll do it!” Red said cheerfully. He took a step forward and said, “Excuse me, Mr. Hole? Would you mind closing yourself for us? It'd be a huge help.”

A good sixty seconds crawled by as nothing happened, the silence broken only by the birds and Blue's muffled snicker at the absurdity of it all.

“...Well it was worth a shot I guess,” Green sighed. “Anybody have any other ideas?”

“I could punch it,” Blue offered.

“And then you'll go the same way that rock did,” Vio retorted.

“We don't know that...”

Vio pegged him with a dry stare.

“...It was the only idea I had left, okay?” Blue defended himself. “And it's not like anybody else was saying anything...”

“I could ask meanly this time instead,” Red suggested.

“If asking nicely didn't work, what makes you think asking meanly will? Heck, what makes you think asking will work at all?”

“Well, 'It's not like anybody else was saying anything', right?” Red quoted.

“Vio said that,” Blue said unconvincingly.

“I did not!”

Green sighed as the two got into another of their usual spats and took over the conversation. “If you wanna give it a go, you can certainly try, Red. We're out of ideas otherwise.”

Red nodded and took a second step forward. He took a deep breath, got himself into a 'Blue' mindset, and snapped, “You close up right now or I'm gonna smack the black right off your umbra!”

Despite this most convincing threat, the hole did not respond.

“...Dangit,” Red sighed, deflating back into his normal personality.

“On the bright side,” Green said, “I thought it was a very convincing 'Blue' impression.”

Red turned and beamed at him. “Thanks!”

Green returned the smile, then paused. Over Red's shoulder, where the handle of his Four Sword poked out, the red stone in the pommel seemed to be ever-so-slightly glowing. Green frowned, confused, then shot a quick glance over his own shoulder at his own Four Sword.

It was perfectly normal.

A look at the still-arguing Blue and Vio showed that their swords weren't doing anything unusual either, so Green turned back to Red to make sure he wasn't imagining it.

...Nope, still glowing.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Red asked curiously.

“Not you,” Green said. “Your Sword. It's glowing.”

“Really?” Red twisted around to see for himself. “Oh neat! ...Why's it doing that?”

“No idea,” Green said. “Hey, Vio!”

“What!?” Vio snapped, then winced. “Sorry, wrong conversation – what?”

“Red's Sword is glowing. Any idea why?”

“It's doing what?” Vio repeated, coming over for a closer look and leaning in to examine Red's weapon more closely. “That's odd...”

“It can't be that weird though, since yours is doing it too,” Red pointed out. Vio raised an eyebrow at that, then glanced over his shoulder. Sure enough, the violet stone in the pommel of his Sword was glowing just like Red's was.

“...Huh?” Vio said knowledgeably.

“Now that's just bizarre,” Blue decided, having joined the group again after Vio got distracted. “Has anyone's Sword ever done this before?”

“Not that I can remember,” Green replied, while Red shook his head and Vio frowned.

“...There's a reason for this,” he muttered. “There's always a reason...”

He started pacing back and forth in front of the other three, a habit he'd developed sometime during the fiasco in the Village of the Blue Maiden. That town had been absolutely infuriating and ended up pushing the four Links' deductive skills to the limit, and one of the side effects had been Vio manifesting a tendency to pace and think things through aloud.

“We know it's not an enemy, because we're the only ones around,” he mused. “It can't be a Moon Gate, because we would have found that by now. There's no indication of a Great Fairy...”

The other three, knowing how Vio tended to get, sat back and watched, their heads following him back and forth rather like a cat following a light on the wall. Because of this, they then noticed the glow from Vio's Sword becoming brighter and dimmer in direct relation to when Vio walked past the hole.

“I think it's the hole,” Red said, interrupting Vio's theory that Kaepora Gaebora was actually a Cucco in disguise and their Swords were detecting the presence of pure evil behind the costume.

“...That's highly unlikely,” Vio replied slowly. “What makes you think that?”

“Watch,” Red told him, pointing at his own weapon and walking towards the hole as he did. With each step he took, the red stone glowed brighter and brighter until it was comparable to a small red star, with Red himself standing a mere two feet from the void itself.

“...Okay, that's fairly convincing evidence,” Vio conceded. “Now the question becomes, why?”

“Maybe if we hit the hole with the Swords instead of just punching it,” Blue suggested. “That could explain the glow. It's showing us the way to fix it.”

“The Four Sword doesn't have that kind of power,” Vio argued. “We should know it's limits better than anyone, right? I'm positive it can't do that.”

“We won't know until we try though, right?” Blue countered.

“But what happens if our Swords go the same way as that rock? What happens if we go the same way as that rock because we were holding the Swords that were touching the hole?” Vio crossed his arms. “There's too many variables.”

“Who cares about variables?” Blue asked, exasperatedly throwing his arms up.

“I do!” Vio retorted. “It's the kind of thing that keeps you from getting yourself killed, not that you ever pay attention to that anyways...”

“I pay plenty of attention, it just needs to be important!”

“Variables are important-”

“Both of you, knock it off!” Green snapped. “This isn't the time!”

Both boys subsided into disgruntled mutterings, but otherwise obeyed. Green let out a controlled, exasperated sigh and rubbed his eyes with one hand.

“You two are the reason I get headaches,” he muttered.

There was a moment of silence.

“...So, um, are we doing anything about this?” Red asked, pointing to the still-brightly-glowing pommel of his Sword.

“Well...” Vio said, scrutinizing the whole scene closely. “It's proximity-based, so... I can't believe I'm saying this... maybe get as close as you can without actually touching the hole?”

“Okay,” Red said brightly, and took the extra one-and-a-half steps that put him literally within inches of the reality-eating void. His three brothers promptly had minor heart attacks.

“What?” Red asked innocently, seeing their expressions. “You said to...”

“...That doesn't mean I'm okay with it,” Green managed after a moment spent finding his voice again.

“Don't do that!” Blue gasped. “Din, I thought you were going straight in...”

“Silly, I wouldn't do that,” Red smiled. “Besides, I-”

Whatever he was going to say was abruptly cut off as the gem in Red's sword lit up like a firework, much to the surprise of the four Links who, unfortunately, had been more or less looking right at it. Caught off guard, Red flinched backwards – and in the process finished covering the extra six inches in between him and the hole.

He promptly vanished.

“CRAP!” Blue yelled, and sprinted forwards into the void, more on instinct than anything else. Considering the fact that both Vio and Green were right behind him, he couldn't really be judged on it either.

Of course, by the time their brains caught up with what they were actually doing, it was far too late to stop.

And all four Links disappeared into nothingness.

…………………………………………………………………………………

 Farore was doing her happy dance. It looked rather like a Cucco stuck in Chu jelly while swimming underwater.

“...Please stop,” Din said, grimacing. “That's freaking me out.”

“I don't even care!” Farore enthused. “It worked! It finally worked!”

She did a little impromptu twirl.

“So your plan was to... what, flash them?” Nayru asked.

“No,” Farore said, annoyed. “The plan was to use their Sacred Item to show that the hole wasn't dangerous. I would have used the Triforce and shown them that way, but for some reason that particular aspect never picked it up, so I had to improvise. Luckily that Sword of theirs counts just as well.”

“Well played,” Nayru said approvingly. “Now what?”

“Now, “ Farore said, flexing her hands, “we get down to business. Courage is about to meet himself, and I'm about to become very busy.”

…………………………………………………………………………………

 Red tumbled forwards and sprawled onto the ground, narrowly missing a remnant piece of metal from something that looked mechanical.

“Owww...” he whined, sitting up and rubbing his head. “That really hurt...”

Three-and-a-half seconds later, his pain was exponentially doubled as Blue, Green, and Vio manifested and landed on top of him.

“...ow,” Red whimpered.

“Red!?” Green exclaimed. “You're alright!”

Despite the fact that they were all piled on top of one another, they managed to give Red a group hug anyways.

“Why wouldn't I be alright?” Red asked, confused but returning the hug anyways. “I mean, I just fell a little...”

“You fell in the hole,” Vio said solemnly. “We thought you'd been... you know.”

Red absorbed that and frowned. “So... your first reaction was to throw yourselves after me?”

“...To be fair,” Blue replied awkwardly, “I think we were too busy panicking to register that.”

“Well, if you're done panicking, can we stand up now? It's getting hard to breathe under you guys.”

“Oh! Sorry.”

They took a few moments to extricate themselves from one another and stood, brushing off dirt and various pieces of debris from the ground, then decided it would be a good idea to check their surroundings.

There was the hole still, but that was about the only thing familiar. Instead of a mountaintop, the four Links were standing on a plain surrounded by mountains far off in the distance. There was what looked like the remains of some massive metal machine off to their right – most of it appeared to have been eaten by the hole – and the whole landscape in general looked barren.

“...This is new,” Blue decided. “Any ideas what just happened? Or where we are?”

“If it weren't impossible due to the functionality of a void and the workings of physics, I'd say we just jumped across the spatial plane,” Vio said, sounding like he'd swallowed a textbook. “But that's impossible...”

“And yet,” Green said dryly, gesturing to their clearly not-where-they-used-to-be surroundings.

“I can see that, it's why I've got a headache right now,” Vio retorted.

A loud CLANGGGGGG from the remains of the metal machine made them all jump, which effectively cut off the conversation, and an unfamiliar voice groaned, “Owww. Okay, not doing that again...”

Green exchanged glances with his three counterparts, then stepped forward and called, “Hello?”

“Who's there?” the voice called back. “I don't know what brought people here, but it's kinda dangerous right now. You should probably leave.”

“Well, we're a bit lost,” Green replied, “and we don't really know where we are, so... can you give us directions?”

“Yeah, just hang on a sec,” the voice said, and another CLANGGGGGG reverberated through the plain, accompanied by another, “Owww! What the heck, I didn't even use the wrench that time!”

“...You okay?” Red asked.

“Fine, just... having some issues,” the voice grumbled, now closer than it'd been before. “Note to self, don't use metal implements to knock metal pieces out of place, it just bounces off and hits me in the head.”

“This guy sounds like a wackjob,” Blue opined.

“Hey!” the owner of the voice protested, coming around the far corner of the metal machine. “I'll have you know... that... What in Nayru's Name?”

“Vio,” Green said calmly. “Care to tell me why the Four Sword is malfunctioning?”

“This is just not a good day,” Vio sighed, which told Green he was at a complete loss.

Standing in front of them was a boy who, aside from a few minor differences, looked exactly like they did. Messy blond hair, wide eyes, unfortunately short stature, it was all there. He was even wearing the same outfit, hat and all.

“...That's freaky,” Blue muttered.

“You're telling me,” the lookalike agreed, staring. “Farore, it's like looking in a mirror that can look back!”

Red shivered. “That sounds creepy.”

“This is creepy,” the new boy replied. “Who the heck are you people!?”

“Oh, uh, I'm Green,” Green said, stumbling over his words a little due to the fact that he was having an internal panic attack but hiding it rather well. “This is Vio, over there is Blue, and that's Red,” he finished, pointing as he named.

The lookalike raised an eyebrow. “You're named for the color of your clothes? Weird. Were your parents so surprised at having quadruplets that they ran out of inspiration or something?”

“What?” Blue asked, confused. “Quadrup- oh! No, we're not actually brothers, we just got split.”

“Split?”

“Well, formerly we were a boy named Link,” Vio explained. “But due to some complicated complications we-”

“Wait wait wait,” the new boy interrupted. “Hold up. Did you say Link?”

“Yeah,” Red said slowly. “That's our name. Why?”

The lookalike stared at them all for a few seconds before saying, “My name is Link.”

There was a long period of shocked silence.

“...What,” Blue said eventually. He was too surprised to even make it a question.

It summed up everyone's thoughts quite nicely.

…………………………………………………………………………………

Despite multiple Death Threats, an absurd amount of fighting, Zant's continual demands for a sandwich, and the vast multitude of yelling, screaming, shouting, bellowing, roaring, shrieking, howling, and screeching that every single voice in Demise's head seemed dead set on using, the villains had managed to come to a consensus regarding the naming problem.

Some of them didn't have a problem and just used their name, these being Majora (who had issues), Malladus (he claimed to be a Demon Lord; this amused Demise immensely), Bellum (distinguishable by being a squid; Demise still wasn't sure why this was), Zant (who was absolutely insane, but in the way that made him an idiot rather than evil), Onox (he liked to smash things with his mace, the bloodier the better), and Veran (who was a woman, and who had the personality of a lethal snake). Then there were the duplicates, which were a bit more complicated. After much discussion, they'd decided to identify themselves based on what they did and where they came from, which was... simple, but effective. Hyrule Ganondorf was from Hyrule, obviously, and had managed to rule for seven years. Twilight Ganondorf had been banished to the Twilight Realm, and because he'd been the one to manipulate Zant into invading, Zant referred to him as 'his god'. Ocean Ganondorf came from a Hyrule that was completely underwater, and as a result was one of the two people who could understand Bellum. The other was Malladus, who apparently knew the language simply because both he and Bellum were demons.

Demon Vaati and Picori Vaati weren't all that hard to tell apart, mostly because Demon Vaati was a giant, one-eyed bat, and Picori Vaati had an actual body with hands and things, but their actions were quite different as well. Picori Vaati had, with the aid of a magical hat, had gone on a quest for something he called 'Force', while Demon Vaati had basically kidnapped the Princess but then turned out to be a puppet figurehead for Hyrule Ganon

Hyrule Ganon, not to be confused with Hyrule Ganondorf, had also been in Hyrule – obviously. He'd been the one behind Demon Vaati's takeover, and resembled a large, slightly blue pig. Lorule Ganon had, at one point, been summoned and controlled by a man named Yuga, and since Yuga was from Lorule had reluctantly consented to use the moniker until further notice. He also resembled a large pig, with the exception of being slightly purple instead of blue.

Then there was Original Ganon, though what made him original was anybody's guess. He'd been waiting for the Hero to challenge him for two years and counting by this point, and was colored a bright teal, with an unusual weakness to silver. And lastly, there was Past Ganon. He'd also been summoned, but by a man named Agahnim, and then later by a pair of witches working with Onox and Veran. Apparently he didn't take very well to that kind of thing and had responded by taking over Agahnim entirely.

Demise approved of that, at least.

Unfortunately, that was about the only thing he approved of. The villains had decided that if he wasn't going to release them willingly, then they would simply have to force him to release them.

And after discovering that physical torture was off the list of methods, they'd moved on to something that was almost worse.

Annoyance.

And thus, Demise found himself being forced to listen to a game of cards that made so little sense he doubted if the players even knew what they were doing.

I play the Queen of Hearts, forcing everyone else to Go Fish, Veran said.

Curse you, woman, Ocean Ganondorf growled. I'd almost gotten rid of all my Red Threes, Fives, and Sixes!

Oh shut up, that would have only gotten you eight points at the most, Lorule Ganon sighed. I move my Joker to the nineteenth space, forcing the rest of you to get rid of your clubs and causing a sudden deficit in the golfing world.

There was a surge of annoyed grumbles as the other players discarded their clubs.

My turn, Picori Vaati said. I draw... and now I can declare Cribbage! I challenge Bellum in the art of the Poker Face for the entirety of his spade cards.

Bellum made a bubbling noise, followed by a few moments of silence -

HAH! Picori Vaati exulted as Bellum bubbled violently. Now All Your Spades Are Belong To Us!

Nice play, Malladus said approvingly, and a slap noise indicated that he'd given his cards partner a high-five.

Not so fast, Majora said coolly. I use the Ace of Diamonds to activate a Dutch Blitz and combine it with my Black Jack to take the Fish Pond.

That is not a valid move! Onox protested.

Yes it is. The Fish Pond is still in existence from Veran's turn, when we all had to Go Fishing. It lasts two-and-a-quarter rounds, remember?

Onox huffed angrily, but said nothing else.

My turn! Zant exclaimed excitedly. I activate my Face-Down, Monster Reborn! Wiith it, I can resurrect one of my defeated monsters, and I choose Dark Magician! Then I combine my Dark Magician with the Staff of Mystics, giving him three thousand attack points and letting him attack your Life Points directly! With that, Hyrule Ganondorf is disqualified and I end my turn!

There was dead silence for a moment.

...Zant, what  are you doing?

Playing card games. Oh, do we have any motorcycles? Because then we could play card games on motorcycles, and that would be fun. We could have Peahats for helmets!

Excuse me, everyone, I'll handle this,Twilight Ganondorf said. Zant, do you actually know what comes out of your mouth or do you just blabber like a mindless twit?

Launch the cabbage cannons!

That's what I thought. Majora, please incinerate his cards, I have no idea where he got them from.

There was a sizzling sound, followed by Zant's anguished cry of, NO! NOT THE KURIBOH! HE WAS SO YOUNG!

How, exactly, did you ever get him to do anything for you if he's this idiotic? Ocean Ganondorf asked curiously.

I bribed him with Peahats. 

The rest of the villains made 'Ohhhh' noises, while Zant sobbed for whatever a Kuriboh was in the background.

Shall we get back to the game? Onox asked impatiently. It's my turn.

By all means.

Right. I play...

There was a pause, and the sound of shuffling.

Aha! Onox declared. I have a straight flush!

That means you're out, Veran informed him.

What!? No it doesn't, it – oh wait. ...Curses.

Dangit, Picori Vaati muttered. There goes my last teammate.

Bellum made some bubbling noises, and after a moment of awkward silence Malladus spoke up with, He says he wasn't paying attention and wants to know what happened to the others.

YOU were the 'others'!Picori Vaati sputtered. Lorule Ganon played the eight of hearts which let him steal a teammate and he stole you! It was in the very first turn! 

There was another series of bubbles, and Malladus translated, He does not remember this.

I – You – Just forget it.

Bellum responded with a large string of bubble noises which went on for a good thirty seconds or so.

Bellum says that he activates his Pair of Fours, making every other Pair obsolete and winning the hand for this round.

There was an explosive amount of cursing, followed by loud complaints and grumbles as the other players got rid of any Pairs they had.

And... that marks the end of the round, Original Ganon commented. Annoyance Check!

Demise's whole head immediately went silent, and he gritted his teeth. “No, I am not going to release you, and no, I'm not even annoyed enough to consider it. Also, no, there's nothing you can do to make me consider it, and no, I do not care about whatever you'll come up with next because, no, I am not going to release you!”

...Maybe if we tried bad music, Demon Vaati mused.

That could work. Does anybody have banjos?

I have this mental construct, will that work?

Close enough!

Demise just barely held in a groan.

…………………………………………………………………………………

…………………………………………………………………………………

 Link, the Hero of Trains, was being fired at by laser cannons.

Well, technically his Train was being fired at by laser cannons. Link, unfortunately, happened to be on the Train.

Behind him, a spirit was clinging to the train wall for dear life and trying not to be sick. Link wondered how Zelda could feel sick without a stomach, then wondered how she could have motion sickness now of all times after spending months traveling by Train with him.

Then again, none of the rides before this one had been quite this violent.

After dealing with Malladus for months on end, things had finally come to a head with the duel Link was currently in; racing his Train against Malladus'. It was a distinctly unfair fight, in Link's opinion, mostly due to the previously mentioned laser cannons on the Demon Train that Malladus was driving. Link, on the other hand, had regular cannons that shot regular cannonballs.

Totally fair and even odds, those were.

But that wasn't even the only problem Link was dealing with. Malladus had a completely warped sense of proper steering, and would randomly switch tracks at the most awkward and inconvenient times, usually right in front of Link's Spirit Train making the Hero pull some jarring and often straight-up illegal maneuvers to avoid a collision.

Abruptly, Malladus decided to do exactly that and the Demon Train jumped rails, making Link slam the brake lever to avoid a head-on crash with the back of the demonic locomotive which was now mere feet in front of him. The sudden movement threw Link onto the dashboard and Zelda to the floor, and Link threw a hurriedly worried glance at her.

“I'm fine!” she yelled over the noise in response, though she looked a bit paler than usual – and that was saying something, considering that she was transparent. “Keep going, we can't lose him now!”

Link nodded and returned his attention to the race – and just in time, because the Malladus had fired up the Demon Train's lasers again and was about to shoot him with them. Link yelped and switched rails as fast as he could manage, and the lasers carved a furrow in the rapidly passing ground instead.

“Just once,” Link growled, “I would like to drive my Train without another Train trying to kill me. Why is that too much to ask?”

Probably because you're the Hero, his subconscious answered. Link scowled and jerked the accelerator to move his Train up alongside the Demon Train again. He wouldn't mind being the Hero as much if the title didn't get him into so much trouble. Then again, the fact that he did tend to get into some questionable situations made for an excellent excuse to use the Spirit Train's cannons.

In fact, Link decided, that sounded like a fantastic idea.

“Zelda, watch the accelerator!” he yelled, sprinting to the cannon controls. Zelda shouted something about intangibility in reply, but Malladus had chosen that exact moment to fire more lasers and thus Link didn't hear her. He did, however, hear the screech of damaged metal as the lasers raked over the body of the Spirit Train and snarled incoherently.

Nobody messed with his Train. This had just gotten personal. And Link capitalized on that fact by slamming cannonballs into every inch of the Demon Train he could reach.

“Link!” Zelda yelled, materializing next to him. “Aim for the laser ports!”

...Yeah, that was probably a much better idea, Link admitted to himself, and reoriented his cannon. His next shot smashed one of the turrets into splinters, and Link grinned in fierce vengeance for his Train. Zelda let out a relieved sigh in tandem, then glanced ahead at the rails because she was smart like that.

“Link, there's a rail switch coming!” she said, pointing at the rapidly approaching mechanism. “We should probably use it!”

“Right, thanks!”

He really didn't know what he'd do without Zelda's second pair of eyes watching everything he couldn't. She'd saved his life at least four times on this adventure so far, and if he was being honest with himself basically every idea the two of them had was actually Zelda's that she gracefully let Link take half the credit for, exactly like the rail switch just now.

Link sprinted back to the Train controls and threw the rail switch just in the nick of time. The Spirit Train abruptly swerved onto a different track, a good twenty feet further away from the Demon Train. This, in Link's opinion, was a very good thing, because the farther he was from that monstrosity the better.

But then a different laser turret swiveled, locked, and shot the Spirit Train's siding right where the engine would be. Link yelled in surprise and slammed the brake lever to get out of range, which threw Link onto the dashboard and Zelda, despite being incorporeal, sliding across the floor and straight through Link and the dashboard.

“Sorry!” Link yelled as she pulled herself back out of the machinery, looking slightly annoyed.

“A little warning next time would be nice,” she chided. Neither of them mentioned the part where she'd slid through Link, because that part was considerably awkward and they were far too busy to bother with something as trivial as awkwardness anyways, not to mention that the noise of the lasers, cannonballs, brakes, Train engines, and just about everything else was incredibly loud and made it hard to even think about bothering with feeling awkward.

Put simply, neither of them cared.

Link stuck his head out the window to make sure they were out of firing range of the lasers, and seeing that they were, ran back to the cannon to fire some shots of his own. Unfortunately, he'd left the brakes on and thus spent the next few seconds with absolutely terrible aim before he figured out what was going on and sheepishly ran back to the controls.

That problem fixed, he ran back to the cannon and started firing again, this time hitting the laser he was aiming for with relative ease and demolishing it too. Then he scrambled back to the controls, because the Demon Train had just switched lanes to close the distance between the two of them and was using the proximity to cause some significant damage with its two remaining laser guns.

Why the heck did a Train even have laser guns in the first place!?

Lost in his annoyance, Link missed the Demon Train switching rails again until Zelda pointed and shrieked, “LOOK OUT!”

Link obediently looked, and promptly freaked.

“HOLY DIN!” he yelled in a panic, and once again sprinted for the Train controls, because the Demon Train was right in front of them and they were about to collide with it. He jerked the brake lever just in time to prevent a nasty crash and quickly threw the upcoming rail switch to get as far from the Demon Train as he could.

“Oh, that was way too close,” he gasped. “Thanks, Zel.”

“Well, we wouldn't want you turning into a ghost too, now would we?” Zelda replied. Link tilted his head, confused.

“...I thought you were a temporarily disembodied spirit.”

“Link, drive the Train.”

“Oh! Right.”

With his attention back on the steering, Link had a clear view of what was in front of him. Thus, he essentially had front row seats when the Demon Train missed a rail switch and plowed headlong into a rock wall.

Lin's mouth dropped. So did Zelda's.

“...Did the Demon Train just crash?” Link asked slowly.

“Looks like it....”

“Even though Malladus has never made a driving mistake before this, ever?”

“Uh-huh.”

“You're coming with me when I investigate, aren't you.”

“Pretty much.”

Link sighed. “Just give me a minute to stop.” As a general rule, he did not approve of the Princess following him into possibly dangerous situations, regardless of the fact that whatever the danger was probably couldn't touch her. Call him protective, or whatever, but it freaked him out when the life of the future ruler of his country was solely in his thirteen-year-old hands.

Unfortunately, Zelda was stubborn enough that she would follow him anyway, and he couldn't exactly order her back to safety because, one, she outranked him by a lot, and two, he couldn't move her even if he tried. He'd just go straight through.

The Spirit Train, which he'd been steadily braking the whole time, slowly chugged to a halt in a cloud of white smoke a few hundred feet away from the Demon Train, which suited Link just fine. The face on that thing creeped him out. He threw a few more levers to lock the Train in place, then hopped out of the engine car and began slowly approaching the Demon Train, with Zelda floating close behind.

As a result of smashing straight into a mountain, the entire front of the Demon Train was a complete chaotic mess. Metal was twisted, paint was scraped, wheels were bent, and that face which had been creeping Link out for months was so mangled that it was unrecognizable. Link made a little fist-pump when he noticed that.

Luckily, the door wasn't nearly as damaged as the rest of the locomotive, and Link was able to climb in with relatively little difficulty. Zelda, on the other hand, just floated through the wall and feigned impatience with a little smile on her face as she watched Link come in.

“That's not nearly as funny as you think it is,” Link informed her once he was through. Zelda just shrugged, smile still firmly visible, and Link rolled his eyes good-naturedly before starting off down the hallway.

After a few steps, the hall opened up into the engine room, which was much larger than the one Link had in the Spirit Train. But this was hardly worth noting, because there were three other things in the room that most definitely were worth noting.

One was Zelda's body, laying 'lifeless' and unoccupied on the floor. The second was 'Chancellor' Cole, who was also on the floor but seemed to be regaining consciousness.

The third was a middling-sized utterly black hole over by the Train's controls, which was slowly growing as Link watched and making the machinery rattle as the void pulled on it.

“Link...” Zelda said, with a little catch in her voice as she stared at her body.

“Just hang on a sec,” Link replied, narrowing his eyes at the scene. Months of narrowly escaping getting killed had taught him to never, ever, take a seemingly harmless room at face value unless you wanted to die a very painful death. With this thought in mind, he slowly advanced into the middle of the floor with his sword drawn and his shield ready to be used at a moment's notice.

Thirty seconds crawled by. Nothing attempted to kill him.

“...Okay,” Link decided. “We're good.”

Zelda rocketed past him the instant the words left his mouth, so fast that she actually created a wind in her wake that buffeted Link's hair. Link decided to give her and her body a few moments to get reacquainted and used the fact that Cole was groggily blinking at him as his excuse. He grabbed Cole by his collar and hoisted him to his feet – which wasn't very hard considering that Cole was actually slightly shorter than Link himself, which was a real novelty to the Hero because he was a naturally short and stocky boy.

“You've put me through a whole lot of garbage, you know that?” Link growled into Cole's face.

“Cheese unicorns,” Cole wheezed, excellently demonstrating the concussion he had from the crash. Link blinked, then dropped the little demon man unceremoniously to the ground again. Clearly, he wasn't going to be much use.

A little gasp to his left caught his attention, and he turned to see Zelda back in her body and taking her first real breath of oxygen in months. She inhaled, slowly, then exhaled just as slowly. A beaming grin spread across her face.

“We did it,” she said, euphoric. “I've got my body back!”

“Awesome,” Link told her. She beamed again and caught him in a quick hug.

“Thank you,” she said quietly.

Link had absolutely no idea what to do in this situation, and it showed in the fact that he couldn't figure out where to put his hands. He settled for flailing them awkwardly. “Anybody else would have done the same thing,” he managed.

“Shut up and accept the gratitude,” Zelda said, releasing him and rolling her eyes.

“Sure thing, Your Highness.”

“Avocado chutney,” Cole warbled from the floor, completely breaking the mood. Zelda's face darkened like a thunderstorm, and she veritably stalked over to the man who had posed in her court for months.

“Link,” she said coldly, “could you stand him up, please?”

Normally, Link would have said something about how violence was unbecoming for the future Queen, how revenge was almost never the answer, and a lot of other cliched but true stuff about taking out your feelings on people. However, the look on Zelda's face scared the living daylights out of him.

So he did the smart thing and stood Cole up instead.

“You,” Zelda hissed, “have betrayed me, plotted against me, tried to destroy Hyrule, ripped me from my body, gave my body to someone else, tried to kill me and Link more times than I can count, and broken almost every single traffic law we have. I can think of only one punishment good enough for the likes of you.”

So saying, she wound up and SLAPPED Chancellor Cole across the face so hard that he impacted the far wall.

“That,” Zelda said in tones of supreme satisfaction, “felt amazing.”

Link was too busy watching Cole burst into smoke and blow away in the fashion of all defeated monsters to respond. He suddenly felt both very proud, and very terrified, of the girl standing next to him.

“...Did you just vaporize Cole by slapping him?” he asked, just to be sure of what was happening.

“And I'd do it again in a heartbeat,” Zelda nodded firmly. “Now, let's finish the job. Where's Malladus?”

That, Link realized, was an excellent question. Malladus was supposed to be driving the Train, although if he was gone and Cole had been driving, that explained why he'd crashed. Still, demonic overlords generally didn't just vanish into thin air.

“...He ought to be here somewhere,” Link said. “I mean, Cole was here, and your body was here, and we know Malladus wouldn't have left your body lying around like that.”

“Except that he apparently did,” Zelda frowned. “I wonder... Link, what do you make of that hole?”

Link turned and gave said hole an appraising glance. “It freaks me out a little, not gonna lie. I've never seen anything like it.”

Zelda frowned more and took a few steps closer to the void, examining it closely. It had grown a little bigger since Link had looked at it last, and was now in the process of eating through the accelerator.

“...Ah,” Zelda said. “That's bad. That's very, very bad.”

“Why?”

“That's a hole,” she replied. Link nodded slowly.

“...I knew that,” he said. “I can see it's a hole. Now why is it bad?”

“Because that's a hole in the world.”

Link took that in for a moment.

“Okay, yeah, that's bad,” he decided. “But I'm still not seeing how this tells us where Malladus went.”

“Well...” Zelda started hesitantly. “I think... that he might have been... absorbed.”

Link blinked and gave the hole a more thorough once-over. Still black, still growing, still eating the accelerator... wait.

The accelerator... which the engineer would have been standing in front of. The engineer, who would have been Malladus.

“...So, do we panic, or celebrate, or what?”

“Bit of both,” Zelda decided. “We can't leave this here. We need to take care of it.”

Link's eyes narrowed as his instinct to protect kicked in again. “Oh no. I can take care of it. You can head back to the castle where it's safe and reassure your probably sick with worry father that you're alright.”

Zelda's eyer narrowed to match Link's, and she crossed her arms authoritatively. “And what makes you think that I'm going to leave you alone with a world-threatening crisis to deal with? We only made it this far because we worked together, and I am not going anywhere while Hyrule is still in danger.”

“Oh yes you are,” Link retorted, “because I am not going to let anything happen to you now that we've finally got your body back. I understand you're worried about Hyrule, which is perfectly understandable, but you are the freaking Princess! What happens if you get absorbed just like Malladus? What am I supposed to do then? Heck, what's Hyrule supposed to do then?”

To her horror, Zelda found that she couldn't actually argue with that logic. So she settled for scowling in Link's general direction instead. Link himself breathed a silent sigh of relief. Zelda could be monumentally stubborn if she wanted to be, and the argument could have easily gone on for hours. Luckily, her country came before almost anything else, otherwise Link probably would've never found a way to make her go.

“Now,” Link said, “how are we gonna get you back?”

“...Maybe they'll be willing to escort me,” Zelda offered, pointing behind him. Link turned to see Anjean and Byrne materializing out of thin air, the instrument at Anjean's mouth showing how they were doing it.

“Yeah, that'll work,” Link agreed.

…………………………………………………………………………………

 Link waved as the Spirit Train chugged away without him, although it felt really strange to not be driving the machine himself. In fact, he was having a hard time reminding himself that nobody was stealing it, that he'd agreed to this, and he'd get his Train back as soon as Zelda was safe.

...He missed it already.

Link shook his head rapidly and flicked himself in the temples in an effort to get his mind back on track. He needed to do something about the hole, which by now had grown large enough that it was starting to be visible from the outside of the Train.

“...What am I going to do with you?” he asked the hole rhetorically. The hole didn't answer, which was a good thing. In Link's opinion, talking to inanimate objects was perfectly normal, but if they talked back, that was when you needed to be worried.

But since the hole hadn't said anything, it was all good.

Link pursed his mouth thoughtfully, then upturned his Adventure Bag on the ground and began sifting through the contents. Bombs, boomerang, arrows, Sand Wand, Whirlwind, whip, Spirit Flute... none of this seemed like it would do much. Still, Link decided, wouldn't hurt to try.

The bombs exploded, but did absolutely nothing as the hole then ate the explosion while it was happening. Arrows just vanished upon contact, the sandstorm summoned by the Sand Wand did squat, the Whirlwind was equally useless – and somewhat puzzling, because Link couldn't tell if the hole had eaten the wind or not. The boomerang just seemed like a bad idea, the whip seemed like an even worse idea, and the only thing he achieved playing the Spirit Flute was a snappy dance tune once he determined that every other song he knew did exactly what his other items had done – nothing.

Now he kinda wished Zelda was still around. He was out of ideas.

…………………………………………………………………………………

 “Unbelievable,” Farore said, throwing up her hands. “I even went to all the effort of keeping the hole moving with the Train so he'd run into it! What does it take with these boys!?”

“Shame we can't actually close them ourselves,” Nayru mourned.

“I know, I honestly thought we had a chance when Farore managed to move that one, but I guess moving them around is all we can do,” Din agreed ruefully. “Better than nothing, I guess, but still...”

“Right, that's it,” Farore decided, having ignored the conversation her sisters were having. “It's time to get serious with this. If they won't investigate themselves, then I'll make them investigate!”

“Or we could try tact?” Nayru suggested. “So Courage doesn't freak out at feeling his body moving on it's own and we don't break the Interference Laws?”

“Okay, I'll make them investigate subtly.”

“Have we considered just sending them a message? You know, have the local Great Fairy turn up and say, 'Hero, thou must goeth into yonder hole'?” Din said.

Farore gave her a flat look. “Nobody talks like that.”

“It was more subtle than your suggestions, though,” Nayru pointed out.

Farore opened her mouth to retort – then paused, as something occurred to her.

“...that could work...” she said softly.

“...What could work?” Din asked.

“You'll see, if it works,” Farore replied, suddenly in a better mood than she'd been all week. “Nayru, where's the Four Sword aspect right now?”

“...On their way back to the mountain, actually,” Nayru replied after a moment of concentration. “Looks like they're done with the Library, for now.”

“Excellent,” Farore grinned. “Now, let's see how this works.”

…………………………………………………………………………………