How about some champagne right now?

can't believe the only options are 30 minutes early or 10 minutes late. if only there were some other way. but what can you do

my dad said he saw a style of decorating he liked recently and i figured he was about to say something along the lines of some subgenre of rustic or maximalism or something but no. This man looks me in the eyes and says “dark academia”

yesterday when he came home he said he learned a new word today that he really liked and i said oh what word? and he said "neurospicy"

today he asked me if i'd heard of ea-nasir

If you're younger than 50 years there are termite queens who are older than you

happy pride to them

baseball fights are better than hockey fights because everyone expects a fight in hockey. baseball fights are some real hater shit

i work at exit level job they pay me maximum wage i commute 5 millimeters every morning to the nearest blade of grass yesterday my manager isopod said he is promoting me to butterfly i am getting paid leave to go chrysalis mode

look I'm not gonna pretend I know anything about electronics, but sometimes a plug is so big it blocks another socket, and I'm always like "who the fuck do you think you are"

interview with the masquerade

vampire: the vampire