difficult day of being insane today unforch!! did the parkrun again this morning, that was good in my new shoes. ana came and waved lol
then we went to cafe for lunch, me anon man and ana
general bullshit ensued where he said something innocuous that set me off, you all know the drill, i hid my panic from him until later when i got upset lol at which point i talked AROUND my fear rather than just asked him directly about it, classic!!!!
feeling extra bad and burdensome bc im gonna have to ask him if he wants to share a room at the next chess meetup in prague, and i have nooooo idea if he wants it to be even remotely public knowledge at work that we're involved. which - my fucking mantra in any of these issues - IS TOTALLY REASONABLE!! but i have no desire to share a room w/ anyone else, bc it would literally be me and some random man i dont know well. like that sounds like a nightmare, separate to any of the weird anon man stuff lol. im also aware that at work you have to behave professionally so by no means am i planning on making out with him in public
the alternative is my friends are meeting me in prague and i can just get an airbnb with them, so it's not a disaster if he'd rather not. but that airbnb wouldn't be paid for by the org
bc of my problems tho im already feeling pre-emptively rejected even tho i know that's not what it fucking is!!!! this is my own fault for dipping my pen in the company ink etc
vaporwave
amandla
stormborns
tangentwithtanner
germansingergirl
