whatever it takes

Like, you can show them dozens and dozens of studies that show 1. Spanking is ineffective for long term behavior management 2. Is developmentally harmful to children. You can show them that it doesn’t work and it hurts kids, long term. That there are better ways to discipline your kids that WORK BETTER.

And they’ll still be like “….cool story. But nah. I’d rather just beat my child.” 

Let me respond with a question that should clarify my position: Does your idea of spanking involve striking the child in any way, with any degree of force?

If your answer is yes, then my answer remains the same.

Let’s see if we can get common ground. Do you think a child should be punished/disciplined for when they do wrong? If yes, then we can have a civil conversation even if we end up disagreeing.

Now let me explain what I mean by spanking

Spanking, done right, is not abuse. Let me explain. The parent needs to set the rules for the child and the child should know the rules. Not every punishment needs to be a spanking for every rule. When the child disobeys a rule that does need a spanking, the parent needs to talk to them, make sure the child knows what he did wrong and why he is being punished. Then the child is disciplined. Then afterwards, the parent talks to the child again to further rectify the issue so the child understand what they did wrong. It’s supposed to be a form of discipline. The parent shouldn’t do it becassue they’re angry. It’s never supposed to be a parent just hitting their kid. There is a way to do it that isn’t abuse.

I’m not saying you or everyone should spank. It’s not for every parent and not even for every child.

Im here to look at facts. And the fact is that spanking exists on a spectrum of violence and is unneeded to properly raise children.

Sure, in most cases other punishments should be tried first but if a kid keeps messing up over and over again then all the kid leaves you in spanking, or an unruly and disrespectful kid. If a kid listens to reason or learns from grounding then that kid doesn’t need to be spanked.

But if a kid pulls away from you and runs into the street or you save the kids from touching a hot stove then a quick swat will give him the pain-reinforcement you just saved him from.

A chicken has two buttons in its cage. If he pecks one button he gets food, if he pecks the other button he gets an electric shock. If which button is which is random he will always peck in a random manner. If one button always shocks and the other always gives food he will always peck the food button. If a period of time passes and they change the buttons the chicken will starve to death rather than peck the button he has been conditioned to think it will shock him. However if both the food and the shock are delivered at the same time or are random but not opposite the chicken will go back to the random pecking thing.

Any discipline must be consistent to be effective. the fast-swat is only effective if coupled with a sharp “no” that you can later use from a distance. All spanking should be coupled with that word, really. But aside from I-just-saved-you-from-major-pain-or-death instaspank, spanking should be a last resort.

All those who say otherwise either have no kids, have never had a Demonspawn kid, or have out-of-control kids and you have given up.

I assure you that nearly every spanking I received from some other than my step-dad was deserved and a few were actually worth it (like getting back at my sisters).

To give a blanket statement of ‘never this’ is being elitist and trying to control others and how they raise the children. I know there is a difference between spanking and child abuse for I have experienced that difference in my own youth. Even the Bible tried to point this out when it talked about the “Rule of Thumb.”

I find it typical that bleeding hearts obfuscate things and spanking is a prime example of that. I am absolutely sure that any all studies on spanking obfuscate the form of punishment for there is absolutely no way to measure individual reactions to any behavior modification and what they would have turned out like if it wasn’t applied. You can never measure the ‘what if’ in a study especially when dealing with diverse individual test subjects.

The only thing that is absolutely sure is consistency in both punishment and expectations of it (as well as use of inconsistent but prevalent positive reinforcement for good behavior) is effective with behavior modification not only across all spectrums and individuals of humans but across the spectrum for most animals as well.

The application of Logic can deduce this from the above chicken study.

If you want to find someone who is good with children and will raise them happy and well behaved, just look at their dog. If they hate dogs or have poorly behaved dogs, don’t marry them or have kids with them. However, unlike dogs children don’t live to please their parents and that is why they sometimes, on that rare occasion, just might need a swatting to get an idea through their heads.

Until then your OPINION doesnt mean shit in the face of scientific evidence.

The study cannot be conclusive because of way too many variables.

However I can conclude that single-parent households are a bad thing because of the massive increase in criminality from such family dis-units, although that might have more to do with poverty than discipline? It does make an interesting question.

As I said:

The only thing that is absolutely sure is consistency in both punishment and expectations of it (as well as use of inconsistent but prevalent positive reinforcement for good behavior) is effective with behavior modification not only across all spectrums and individuals of humans but across the spectrum for most animals as well. 

As long as the children are well behaved (and I am not talking ‘seen but not heard’) I will not condemn a person’s parenting methods. However if a kid is allowed to throw a tantrum in public without being removed from said public space or worse yet to be rewarded for such misbehavior, I will question that person’s parenting methods.

And yes, consistency is effective. violence, however, is not. Training animals with violence is dangerous, and we know this. Why people think raising children with violence is perfectly fine baffles me.

You dont NEED to hit kids. Its unnecessary at best and harmful at worst. We can only conclude that parents who hit their kids either dont know any better or simply WANT to hit their kids.

First of all, why the hell didn’t I know Janelle Monae and Tessa Thompson were gay? And second of all, why the hell didn’t anyone tell me they were dating (yes, Tumblr gays I’m looking at you!)

I mean, look at this cute shit!

I don´t feel like going out today

You did well, Jonghyun. Thank you for gifting the world with your beautiful voice, your passion and talent for music, your lyrics that touched and healed our hearts. Sorry we could not comfort you, the way you did with us, until the end. May your shining, kind soul rest in eternal peace amongst the stars in the sky, where it belongs.