you can't live like this

When’s his birthday?

The eighth and if it's the ninth, then it's after his birthday but the point still stands that it was his birthday.

It’s a day, not rocket science.

Not what I meant, Lydia. 

You can’t be mad at me, that wouldn’t be very nice. It can’t be lame if you’re around.

I'm not mad at you but if you keep telling me I can't be mad at you then I might actually get mad at you. Don't you remember that I force you to do normal things and occasionally refuse to let you play grab ass? I can definitely be lame.

Well you’re always a joy to be around… except when you’re mad at me.

Who said I was mad at you? I just don't want to hear how lame your birthday was just because you decided you wanted to watch TV.

How about a nice evening with my girlfriend, does that sound doable?

And here I thought that's already what we were doing.

And there you go ruining my fantasy already

Find a new fantasy, birthday boy. 

I mean I could ask you to deliver me food on a silver platter… apron and all. 

I don't think we have an apron, so you're out of luck there. Plus, your fear of me poisoning you kind of puts a damper on things.

I mean I could get creative but it’ll probably be at your expense. 

More at my expense than telling me to serve you and then shut up so you can watch sports already is?

On second thought I just put you not complaining at the top of my demands list.

Who says I was complaining? I was just offering you the opportunity to be more creative.

What can I say, I’m a simple guy. Doesn’t take much to make me happy.

You know that I'm never letting you live this down, right? It will always be remembered as the night you put ESPN and carbonation at the top of your list.

Can my demand be getting me a soda and letting me watch Sports Center without any complaints. 

Those have to be the least interesting demands anyone has ever made on their birthday. I mean, you could've aimed pretty high and instead you went with soda and sports?

Wednesday?

I was going to say Jake's birthday, but I suppose it is after midnight.

It’s Tuesday.

And of course that's something you remember.

Does this mean if I acknowledge my birthday I get to make demands because I might just hop aboard the birthday train in that case. 

That definitely depends on what those demands are.

Good thinking since I’d definitely bail on the party. So I’m an idiot, what else is new? Though I think you should be nice to me… it is my birthday after all. 

And you're still my idiot, so nothing is new. I'm being perfectly nice to you and you can't dismiss your birthday and make demands. It's one or the other.

We call it getting old. At least I’m aging well, right? Because it’s not really something anyone remembers, not to mention it’s not really celebrated either.

You're aging very well. And you're an idiot if you thought I wouldn't remember. I would've thrown you a party if it weren't for the fact that I assumed you'd skip town instead of showing up.

Advanced age, is that what we’re calling it now? I’m surprised you even remembered.

Have we ever called it anything else? I've always said I'm dating an old man. Of course I remembered, why wouldn't I?