chalmao

(Sanji approaches, heart racing, only to turn around and realize…)

Sanji (screaming, flailing): “WHAT?! ZORO?! IN… IN THAT DRESS?!”

Zoro (crossing arms, calm): “Tch. All my clothes got stolen while I was buying new ones with Nami and Robin. I got lost, and the only thing that fit me was Robin’s dress.”

Sanji (still red-faced, clutching his chest): “YOU—HER DRESS?!”

Zoro (turning sideways, smug, pointing to chest and ass): “Yeah. Tight in the chest a little, but look at this ass. Perfect. I think I had Bigger chest than Robin too.”

Sanji (exploding, crying, flailing): “I CAN’T! I’M LOSING MY MIND!”

Zoro (smirking, leaning closer to rub it in): “Oh, and to make things extra comfy, I borrowed Nami’s old bra and panties too. Fit like a glove.”

Sanji (sobbing, collapsing on deck): “I’M DYING! THIS IS TORTURE!”

Brook (sparkles everywhere, gleeful): “Yohohoho~! Zoro-san… may I… see your panties?”

Sanji (on knees, nosebleed everywhere, shaking fists): “I… I can’t even…”

Zoro: [shows up on stage… wearing the exact same outfit as Boa Hancock, heels and all]

Boa: gasping, furious “H-How dare you—!”

Sanji in the crowd: [instant geyser nosebleed, screaming]

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(extra)