Luffy pressed a hand to his heaving chest, running his fingers across the puckered scar tissue. He took a long, slow breath, and then another. That’s done, he reminded himself firmly. It’s over. Ace is gone, but Sanji’s safe now–

Sanji’s face flashed before him, then Ace’s. His smile – his dying smile. Nami had told them all how Sanji had smiled when he’d left them. When he’d given himself up, to save them. When he’d sacrificed himself, because Luffy hadn’t been there to protect him. Because Luffy had failed – he’d been failing for years, he realised now. Ace had died with that question still on his lips, and Sanji had almost done the same.

Is it good that I was born?

Luffy was moving before he could stop himself, slipping out of his own bunk and clambering up the next one’s ladder until he was beside his cook. He took a moment, sitting there in the dark at the foot of the bed, a hand resting on Sanji’s cold ankle where it poked out from under his blanket. His cook ran cold, he’d realised that early on. Funny, considering he lit himself on fire when he fought.

The ankle jerked in his grip as Sanji woke. Luffy rubbed his thumb comfortingly over his exposed skin until the other man recognised his presence. “Luffy?” He heard him move, and through the dim light of the room saw him prop himself up on an elbow. “What – you hungry?”

“No. Well, yes, but no. Can we sleep together?”

“You – don’t fucking say it like that, idiot?”

“Hm? Like what?”

“Like – just – nothing. Never mind, just – yeah, sure. Hurry up and get in.” Luffy smiled in spite of the anxiety still thrumming in his chest. He didn’t know what he’d said wrong, but he could tell from Sanji’s voice that his face had gone that funny red that it did when he got properly flustered, the one that Nami and Zoro and Brook loved to tease him over.

Shuffling forward, Luffy found the edge of the blanket and lifted it so he could slide in snugly beside the grumbling cook. He lay facing him, warm breath ghosting over his face. He reached out a hand and laid it over Sanji’s cheek, feeling him jump a little at the contact. The bruises were almost faded, the swelling gone completely. Luffy tried to be gentle anyway.

“Luffy… are you okay?”

“Yeah.”

And he was, now. Sanji was here – he was still here. A few days ago he’d realised how much like Sabo his cook was, and now he saw the similarities to Ace, too. And like with Sabo, it was all the darkest parts of Ace, all the parts he’d hated most about himself, that Luffy recognised now in his nakama. But he had time to fix it – he was going to fix it. “I love you, Sanji,” Sanji’s breath stuttered, and Luffy felt his face twist beneath his hand. “You know that, don’t you?” A few more shaky breaths, and a small huff of a laugh.

“As if I could ever doubt it, with all the crazy shit you just pulled–”

“Sanji. You know, don’t you?” Sanji was silent for a long moment.

“Why?” he finally whispered, and Luffy pulled him closer until he could nestle his head under Sanji’s chin, moving his hand to press against his back.

“Because you’re Sanji.”

“That’s – that’s not enough.”

“Yes it is. It’s enough for me.”

“Luffy…”

“I need you to know – you need to know how much I love you, Sanji. Okay?”

“I do know,” he finally whispered, and Luffy pulled him closer still. “I don’t know why you do, but – but I do know. I love you, too, Luffy. I – I love you so much. A-all of you–”

“I know.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“I know.”

Sanji still wasn’t breathing right, and Luffy began taking those slow breaths again, running his hand through soft hair as he waited for his cook to match them. It was something he had never noticed before, but since Whole Cake Island, Sanji’s hands were more often than not tangled up in his hair, or covering his face. It was a horribly vulnerable thing, the way he tried to either hurt or hide himself when he was afraid, or sad. Luffy wondered, not for the first time, how the hell he’d ever missed it?

He cradled Sanji’s head in his hand, scratching his fingers gently against his scalp. Eventually, he felt the cook’s arm come up to return the embrace, and he smiled, tucking his face closer into Sanji’s t-shirt and breathing deep. He smelled of smoke, and that amazing tomato stuff he’d made for them last night, and just a little bit of the infirmary, even though the last of his bandages had been removed before he’d gone to bed. But more than anything else, he smelled of Sanji, and when Luffy fell asleep again, still hugging his cook and held firmly in return, his dreams were all the brighter for it.

When Luffy woke again, Sanji was still in his arms, heart beating against his ear, a slow and steady rhythm that he could listen to for hours. Pale morning light was shining through the porthole, letting him know that his cook had already slept well past the time he’d usually have gotten up to start making breakfast. Luffy drew back slightly, and peered through the dimness at the lax face in front of him.

Sanji was still deeply asleep. Luffy was glad of it, even as his stomach let out a low rumble. All of them residing in the men’s dorm had heard Sanji’s nightmares since they’d left Whole Cake Island behind them. They’d all been aware of the cook’s disturbed sleep; his late night smoking trips to the deck, most of which he hadn’t bothered returning from.

The lack of rest was taking a toll on him. Sanji was trying his best to act like he always did, with his smiles and his charm and his snark. But Luffy could see the strain he was under – they all could. They could see the bags under his eyes, the way his smile struggled to stay in place most days, the sluggishness in his movements, the trembling in his hands. They could see how tired he was.

But he was sleeping now. He had slept all night, without any nightmares. Luffy realised it was the first night since they’d left Whole Cake that he hadn’t been woken by Sanji’s gasps and bitten off cries, and frowned to himself. Was this all it took? Why hadn’t he done this before?

I’ll just keep sleeping here, then, he decided stubbornly, burrowing his head back into Sanji’s chest. The cook’s arms shifted across Luffy’s shoulders and he gave a deep sigh, and Luffy’s frown melted into a smile. I like this better, anyway. He dozed again.

When Sanji finally did wake, hours later still, he woke suddenly, with a small gasp and an almost-flinch away from the body still wrapped around him. He peered uncomprehendingly at his captain for a few seconds, then his gaze shifted past him to the empty dorm and the late morning sunlight now pouring through the porthole, and his eyes widened.

“You – I – fuck! Luffy, why didn’t you wake me?” He hissed as he disentangled himself from the tangle of Luffy’s arms and legs and the rucked up blanket to clamber over the side of his bunk.

“Because you were sleeping.”

“Yeah, no shit. That’s the problem.”

“But Sanji needed to sleep.”

“No, Sanji needs to cook,” Luffy sat up to watch him dig out some socks from an unsorted pile of laundered clothes in the corner of the room, struggling to put them on while balancing on one foot. “Food, Luffy. Your breakfast.” Luffy’s stomach gave an unmistakable rumble at the mere thought of it, and he decided to let Sanji’s cringe at the sound slide for now.

“But you’re tired. I don’t mind waiting a bit if Sanji’s tired.”

“Well I mind, Luffy!” Sanji’s voice rose to a shout as he hastily pulled a jumper filched from Usopp’s bunk over his head. Luffy frowned at him, but before he could say anything else, his cook took a steadying breath and ran his hands through his hair. “Sorry,” he muttered. He glanced Luffy’s way once more before turning away. “Sorry, just – breakfast will be soon, okay? Or – lunch, I suppose. There won’t be much, obviously, but – still. Come through to the galley in a bit.” The door closed softly behind him, and Luffy was left scowling in the dimness of the cabin. His stomach rumbled again, and he clutched it angrily.

“I’d rather let Sanji sleep,” he told it, and was only a little bit surprised to find that it was true. He’d gone for days without food to convince Sanji he wanted him back, and as horrible as that had been, he didn’t mind waiting a few hours to convince Sanji he wanted him happy, too. Another rumble, and Luffy sighed, slipping to the floor and taking his hat from where it was hanging off the end of his own bunk.

It’ll take time, he reminded himself as he ran his fingers over the worn straw. Ace’s face flashed again through his head. The sound of his voice, teasing him that last time. His laugh. And that question. Luffy hated that question.

Sanji’s here, and he’s safe. And we’ll keep him safe. And we can convince him. Jaw set with determination, Luffy pulled his hat over his head, and plastered a smile on his face. However long it takes, we’ll convince him.

The deck was warm when he stepped out of the men’s dorm, the sun already well into the sky. Luffy could hear Chopper telling an animated story up in the crow’s nest, followed by bright gales of laughter from Carrot and Nami. Luffy smiled to hear it – he knew Carrot was putting on a strong face after losing Pedro, and he knew she was doing it as much for Sanji’s benefit as her own. It was nice to hear her genuinely happy again, even briefly, and he was almost tempted to join them. But he could also hear Brook’s voice coming from the galley, high and wavering in the way it got when he was stressed. Luffy forced himself not to drop his smile as he made his way there instead.

“– really don’t mind, Sanji-san…” Brook was saying as Luffy entered the galley. He turned to look at him, and Luffy knew he was frowning. “We’ve all been perfectly content to let you catch up on some well-earned rest.”

“Breakfast should have been ready hours ago,” Sanji insisted, moving around the kitchen with a frantic energy, unlit cigarette ground between his teeth. Luffy sat at the table, watching him. Brook inclined his head, and Luffy smiled back. Then they both turned back to their cook. “I shouldn’t have – I’m sorry. I can’t believe I slept in, I haven’t done that in years.”

“Sanji-san, I promise–”

“Lunch will be a bit bigger than yesterday’s, at least. Just a bit, though. Obviously. Still, I can’t believe I left you all hungry–”

“Sanji-san! You would never!” Sanji flinched, and Luffy’s fists clenched on the table in front of him. Brook either didn’t notice, or decided to continue on in spite of it. “If we had truly been hungry we would have woken you. Do you believe our captain could do anything otherwise?” Luffy pouted, but Sanji still didn’t turn from where he was rapidly chopping a small amount of rather brown looking onions. Luffy fixed his eyes on his cook’s hands, the image of Sanji slicing through his own finger flashing vividly through his mind. “Nami-san was generous enough to share some of her mikan with us a short while ago. They were quite refreshing, I assure you. Please, don’t imagine us upset with you.” Sanji’s shoulders remained tense for a few moments, hiked up almost to his ears, before he took a deep breath and visibly forced his body to relax a fraction.

“You… you ate?” He asked quietly, his hands slowing. Brook nodded, despite the cook still not looking at them.

“We did,” he confirmed. Sanji nodded, and as his chopping became more controlled, Luffy found himself relaxing as well. “Good,” Sanji whispered, just as the door opened and the rest of their friends spilled in with a burst of laughter. Luffy turned to them, his smile melting into one much more genuine.

“Good morning!” Chopper chirped, and Luffy chuckled a bit as he watched the little doctor take in Sanji’s still sleep-rumpled form. “Sanji! You slept!”

“I did,” Sanji agreed after a moment, not turning away from the pan he was heating. Chopper smiled regardless, and Luffy was pleased when Nami squeezed his shoulders warmly as she passed him. “Good job, captain,” she leaned down to murmur in his ear. Luffy flashed his grin at her, and accepted an enthusiastic garchu! from Carrot before grabbing Chopper under his arms and hoisting him onto his lap.

“You wanna fish today?”

“Yes! And we can draw pictures of Whole Cake Island to show Usopp!”

“Remember the crocodile with the top hat?”

“And all the flowers with faces! Usopp’ll be able to make way better drawings when we tell him about them – but we can still make some to show him, right?”

Luffy grinned widely and ruffled the fur between Chopper’s ears. “Right!”

The galley settled into chatter and comfortable quiet, and Luffy watched it work its magic on Sanji. As he fried the onions, his tense shoulders loosened. By the time he sliced up the last of their bread, and was layering slices of meat and onions and some of that yellow spread that Robin loved on top, his movements had lost that horrible urgency that just didn’t belong in his kitchen.

When he laid the thin sandwiches in front of them, he even managed to smile a bit. The two onions hadn’t gone far between the six of them, and the bread was crumbling, but when Luffy took a bite, he could have sworn it was the most delicious thing he’d ever eaten. It wasn’t long before the whole thing was devoured, and he was left staring jealously at everyone else’s.

“Ah, Sanji,” Chopper gasped after his own sandwich was finished, “I just remembered!” He jumped down from his chair and hurried into the infirmary, and they all listened to him clattering around in there until he appeared again in the doorway. He was holding something in his hooves and was just about shaking with excitement. Carrot clapped her hands together, and Luffy felt his own excitement skyrocketing as she exclaimed, “Ooh, yeah! I forgot about that!”

“What’s this?” Sanji asked indulgently, looking between them with a fond smile. Chopper bounced forward to stand in front of him, and Nami and Brook stood to lean over the table and see what he held out. Luffy looked at the little black cylinder, and wondered if he should feel disappointed or not. “We found this in Luffy’s pocket! You never told us you had one of these, too! It’s so cool – do you have superpowers now?”

“Superpowers?” Luffy shot out of his seat to snatch the cylinder out of Chopper’s grasp. “Sanji! You get superpowers? What is this thing?”

“No,” Sanji’s voice was wrong, and when Luffy looked at him again, it was to find any trace of a smile wiped clean off his face. He was staring at the thing in Luffy’s hand like it was going to explode at any minute. He looked scared again. Luffy really, really hated Sanji looking scared.

“S-Sanji-kun, is that–”

“A raid suit,” Sanji’s grim confirmation cut Nami off, and she gulped. Brook hummed, and came around the table to Luffy’s side, leaning down to peer at the ‘raid suit’. “So this is what your brothers used to fight? I didn’t realise you’d managed to steal such a valuable weapon, Sanji-san!”

“I didn’t–” Sanji stood suddenly, affronted, and turned a glare on the skeleton. “I didn’t steal anything from those shitty assholes, shut the fuck up! They must have snuck it into Luffy’s pocket when we were escaping – Niji probably did it. Fucker.”

“Wait, so this could make you fly?” Luffy’s excitement was growing and growing. “Could it make me fly?”

“Wha– I can already fly, shitty captain. And you are absolutely not allowed to fly, we can barely handle you earthbound.”

“Why would your brothers give you their suit?” Carrot asked cautiously, resting a careful paw on Sanji’s arm. “I thought they – well, I – I thought you didn’t, um, get along…”

Sanji lurched forward with a small growl and snatched the device from Luffy’s hands. “Fuck this,” he muttered, and stormed out the galley. Following on his heels, Luffy could read his intention clearly, and hastily stretched out his arm to snatch the device back from his livid cook before it could disappear over the side of the ship.

“Sanji, don’t!” He cried, clutching the thing to his chest and dancing out of reach when the cook lunged for him.

“Luffy, I swear – we are getting rid of that thing now.”

“But Sanji! It was in my pocket! And it’s so, so cool!” Luffy gushed at him. Chopper was bouncing at their feet, looking up at them with shining, excited eyes and nodding his agreement to all of Luffy’s exclamations.

“–need to put it on! Now! What power do you think it’ll give you? Lightning? Or fire? Oh, but you can already set yourself on fire, too…”

“Chopper,” Sanji ground out through gritted teeth, “I really don’t give a shit. We are not keeping this–”

“But Sanji!” Chopper wailed, grabbing his trouser leg tightly and gazing up at him beseechingly. “Why not? You would be so cool! Think of how cool you’ll be!”

Sanji's tenuous hold on his temper snapped, and his voice rose to a shout. “Not a fucking thing about Germa is cool, Chopper.” The little reindeer flinched and took a step back towards Luffy, and Sanji’s anger fizzled out just as quickly as it had risen to the surface. He tried to smile, though it looked pained. “And I’m already cool, shitty reindeer.”

“R-right… of course you are, Sanji. I just meant–”

“I know, Chop,” Sanji sighed, crouching in front of him and reaching out an apologetic hand. Chopper leaned into it without hesitation. “I just – don’t want anything from Germa. And I don’t need it. I’m plenty strong on my own.”

“But Sanji-kun,” Nami hesitantly spoke up from where she and the others had been silently watching their chaos unfold, “maybe it would be best to hold onto it, just in case? We are going up against Kaido – that’s another Yonkou, and we didn’t even manage to properly defeat the last one.” Sanji turned to the navigator with an almost betrayed look on his face.

“I understand that, Nami-san, but please believe me. This thing is bad news. Germa always is.”

“Not always,” Luffy said, his excitement dimmed but his conviction still just as strong. “You came from there, Sanji, and you’re good. This thing, whatever it is, won’t change that. You’re you, whether you use their stuff or not.” Sanji shuddered, and stared at the raid suit Luffy held for a long moment. He silently held out his hand, and Luffy didn’t hesitate before handing the device over. Sanji held it carefully, and there was too much happening on his face for Luffy to really be able to tell what he was going to do with it. Maybe he didn’t even know himself. Nami took a hesitant step forward, and rested a hand on Sanji’s shoulder.

“Sanji-kun,” she said softly, “the weather is changing. I think we’re approaching Wano, I wouldn’t be surprised if we arrived within the next few days. Maybe even tomorrow.” Luffy watched something loosen a bit in Sanji’s expression, and when he turned to look at Nami she smiled reassuringly at him. “Just – hold onto it for now, okay? Just in case.” Sanji opened his mouth around another argument, but seeing something in Nami’s face made him close it again and nod, looking ill.

“Fine,” he muttered, shrugging out from under Nami’s hand and not looking at any of them. He maintained a white knuckled grip around the raid suit. “But no one is touching it except me. Understand?” He cast a heavy glare at Luffy and Chopper that had the doctor cowering behind Luffy’s leg. Luffy met it head-on.

The raid suit sounded so cool – they could use it to fly and shoot beams and who even knew what else. But the fear in Sanji’s eyes… nothing was cool enough to justify putting that look on his cook’s face. Luffy nodded. “Okay, Sanji. No one else will touch it. Captain’s orders.” Sanji held his gaze for a long moment.

“Good,” he finally whispered. His eyes fell back to the deck, and a tense silence descended. “I’m going to, uh, do those dishes. And start dinner.” Sanji nodded to himself, turned on his heel and marched back to the galley they’d all so hurriedly vacated. The door closed firmly behind him, and Luffy was left wondering if they’d done something wrong.

Sanji didn’t leave the galley once that afternoon. Brook had followed him not long after he’d shut himself away, and it wasn’t long before a gentle violin tune drifted out to them. Luffy hadn’t joined them.

Listening to the quiet of the ship as he sat on his special seat, Luffy went over the morning’s events carefully. He didn’t regret letting Sanji sleep, regardless of how angry Sanji had gotten. And he didn’t fully understand Sanji’s reluctance to use the superpowers. Even if the people who had made the suit were cruel and dangerous, that wasn’t Sanji. That could never be Sanji.

Luffy wished his cook could see that.

“Everyone,” Brook’s voice rang out, and Luffy turned to see him leaning out the open door of the galley, “dinner is just about ready!”

Their meal that night consisted of the last of their rice, mixed vegetables, and the two fish that Luffy and Chopper had managed to catch the previous afternoon. It wasn't much. Though, Luffy supposed, frowning, there would be even less on each plate if Sanji had made any food for himself. Which he very noticeably hadn’t.

Luffy watched him march around the table, depositing their meagre plates with none of his usual pride and flair, filling their cups with water instead of their usual juices and smoothies and wines, then retreating to the sink to busy himself with dishes while the rest of them ate. From the corner of his eye, Luffy saw Nami stiffen in her seat as she noticed the same thing, but before either of them could say anything, Carrot spoke, “Sanji, you need to eat, too.”

He didn’t even turn from the sink, “No, thank you.”

“Sanji–”

“Thank you for your concern, Carrot-chan, but I’m not hungry.”

“You need to have something, Sanji!” Chopper said in a wavering voice. “You – if you go hungry you could end up sick.”

“I ate lunch. And if I eat anything right now and throw it all up, then it will have been a waste of what little food we have left. Then everyone will go hungry and everyone will get sick. Would you be happier with that, doctor?” Chopper flinched as though Sanji had shouted the harsh words at him, and Brook made a disapproving sound.

“Sanji-kun,” Nami gasped, anger and concern both evident in her voice. “That’s – don’t be cruel!” The word made Sanji freeze, his head sinking between his shoulders. He still didn’t turn.

“I’m not – it’s not cruel, Nami-san, it’s the truth. We are running out of food. And I refuse to waste any.”

“But–”

“Please,” Sanji said, voice rising. He pulled his hands out of the soapy water and wiped them dry on his apron. Finally turning from the sink, Luffy could see the paleness of his face, and the frown still creasing his brow. He didn’t look at them as he made his way to the door, still talking just a little bit too loud. “Finish your meals. I’ll come back to do the dishes later.”

The door slammed shut behind him, and they were left in silence. Luffy looked at the plate in front of him, what little food there was still managing to smell delicious, and found his own appetite had thoroughly abandoned him. He gathered a large forkful of everything, and shoved it in his mouth anyway.

“I’m sorry,” Chopper sniffled, and when Luffy looked at him, his cheeks were wet with tears. Carrot was rubbing a paw reassuringly along his small shoulders. “I – I should have known – I shouldn’t have given him that stupid suit!”

“It’s not your fault, Chopper-san,” Brook murmured, following Luffy’s lead and gathering his own forkful of rice. “I believe we’re likely to encounter many unexpected pitfalls such as this in the near future. All we can do is help Sanji-san through them as well as we are able.”

“He shouldn’t have said that to you, Chopper,” Nami said, leaning forward and drumming her fingers on the table until Chopper looked up at her. “He didn’t mean it. I’m sure he’ll be back here apologising to you soon enough.” Chopper sniffled again.

“I don’t care about that, I just – he can’t keep not eating! He’s – he’s Sanji! He knows that he can’t not eat! He knows how dangerous it is! Why can’t he just–”

“Sanji’s hurting,” Luffy reminded them quietly, his plate almost empty now. “And he’s scared. That can make him mean, and dumb. But that just means we need to take care of him even more. We’ll make sure he eats, but only when he’s ready to. And we won’t waste any of the food he’s made for us, okay?” None of them looked particularly pleased, but they picked up their forks and dug in nonetheless, and Luffy smiled at them all gratefully.

Without saying anything, they each left a little bit of something on their plates. A spoonful of rice, a couple of slices of carrot, a mouthful of fish. One by one, as they carried their dishes to the sink, they added their contribution to the plate still lying empty on the counter. What resulted was a pitiful excuse for a meal, but Luffy was pleased with it nonetheless. Brook started making an admirable attempt at arranging it as artfully as Sanji no doubt would have.

“I’m gonna talk to him,” Luffy announced as Chopper and Carrot began a heated debate about who would get to do the dishes for Sanji. Nami looked at Luffy doubtfully, biting her lip. “He’ll be okay,” Luffy insisted, grinning for her. “He just needs to remember he’s still safe.” Nami blinked away tears at that, and nodded at him. Then she turned to the two arguing by the sink, shoving them aside firmly and ignoring their indignant squawks as she rolled up her own sleeves and plunged her hands into the soapy water.

Luffy smiled at them all briefly before wandering out to the deck. Sanji hadn’t gone far, standing at the railing next to the stairs and letting a cigarette burn away in his hand, forgotten as he glared a hole into the horizon. “I’ll apologise to Chopper,” he muttered when Luffy came to stand beside him. He ran a hand through his hair. The other held the canister in a white-knuckled grip.

“I know you will.”

“I just – I just need to calm down a bit. I’m – this – this fucking raid suit. Luffy, it’s–”

“It’s just a suit,” Luffy said, ignoring Sanji’s impatient growl. “You don’t have to use it if you don’t want to, Sanji. I told you that already.”

“Yeah, and Nami-san also pointed out the fact that we’re going up against Kaido pretty soon. A fucking yonkou, Luffy. She’s right – we’ll fucking need it.”

“You’re strong enough without it, Sanji.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do–”

“No, you don’t. None of us do. None of us know what Kaido has up his sleeve, or what his crew is like. None of us know what’s waiting for us in Wano. I could – this… thing could help the crew. It could help us.”

“Then why are you so scared to use it?”

“Because it’s theirs, Luffy. It’s – Judge is – Luffy, he’s evil. All he does is hurt people. Who even knows how many people he hurt just to build this. He’s – anything that he creates can only be destructive. And this, this isn’t going to be any different, okay?”

“No,” Luffy shook his head, and met Sanji’s glare head on. “Maybe those other guys used their suits to destroy things, and to be cruel, but you’re not them. You’re Sanji. You’re our Sanji. Using something they made isn’t going to change that.”

“I just – I don’t trust them, Luffy. This thing scares me. Being like them, in any way, scares me. But I also can’t ignore what Nami-san said, because she’s right. I can’t afford to be throwing away a potentially fucking useful weapon just because I’m too much of a coward to use it.”

“Not wanting to hurt people doesn’t make someone a coward.”

“Allowing my friends to get hurt in a fight because I was too scared to use a powerful weapon to help them–”

“Don’t you think I’m strong enough to kick Kaido’s butt?” Luffy tried to sound teasing, hoping to entice a smile, or a scoff, or an eye-roll. Sanji only turned to look at him with a sort of desperation in his gaze.

“Luffy,” he whispered, “I believe you can do anything.” He looked back at the raid suit, gripping it tighter for a moment, his hand shaking. Then, with a growl and an angry movement, he shoved it back in his trouser pocket. He ran his hands through his hair, tugging harshly. “I just… I don’t think I’m strong enough. I’m not strong enough. And this thing – what if it really could help us? What if – what if it’s–”

Luffy reached out and carefully took hold of Sanji’s hands, gently prying his fingers away from the hair he was pulling so harshly. Pulling the other man to face him, he could see how the cook’s eyes were squeezed tightly shut, how his cheeks were pale and wet with tears, how he looked so scared, standing here on the deck of their ship, with his captain beside him and his nakama waiting to take care of him.

“Sanji,” Luffy said, squeezing the hands he was holding until a blue eye opened to meet his gaze. “You’re strong enough. You always have been.” Sanji shook his head, but Luffy refused to give him a chance to argue. “You’ll help us fight against Kaido, with or without the cool suit. And we’ll win. And even if you weren’t strong enough, even if you couldn’t fight at all, it still wouldn’t matter. I told you already, you’re Sanji. That’s all we need, and all we want. Okay?” Sanji stared at him for a moment, then sighed. He squeezed Luffy’s hands back, finally, then pulled away, turning back to stare out across the water. He still hadn’t made any response. “Sanji.”

“I get it, Luffy. I get it.” Luffy stepped forward, and Sanji stepped back. “I should go do the dishes. And apologise to Chopper.”

“Nami’s doing the dishes.”

“What?”

“And Chopper is just worried about you.”

“Why would Nami-san – why did you let Nami-san do the dishes, idiot captain?” He turned anxiously towards the galley. “A lady should never have to – I told you – I said I was going to–” The galley door opened, and Brook’s head leaned out of it.

“Ah, Sanji-san, you sound much more yourself now!” The skeleton chirped happily, the rest of his body following him out onto the deck. He met Sanji’s thunderous expression bravely. “We saved you some dinner,” He continued before Sanji could continue his tirade, bringing forward the plate he had been holding behind his back, and presenting it to the other man with a flourish. “Surely you wouldn’t want it to go to waste, hm?” Luffy leaned forward to peek at Sanji’s dumbfounded expression.

“You – what – you asshole! That’s fucking – underhanded.” Brook chuckled as he took the plate, furious expression never fading. Sanji stared at the small amount of food it held, neatly arranged, and Luffy watched his face twist with discomfort. “I really don’t think I’m going to be able to eat this,” he said bluntly, his face flushing with shame.

“J-just as long as you eat some!” Chopper’s voice came from the door of the galley, and when they looked over it was to see it opened just enough for a small reindeer to fail to hide behind it. “You need to eat something!” Sanji made a small, pained noise. He made an aborted movement toward the galley, then sighed and dropped heavily to sit on the lawn, back against the railing. He laid the plate on the lawn in front of him.

“I know, Chop,” he called softly. “You don’t need to hide from me. I’m sorry I said those things to you. Nami-san was right. That was cruel.” Chopper edged carefully out onto the grass, and Luffy noticed the glass of water he was carrying between two trembling hooves. He crept forward shyly until he could bundle up against Sanji’s side, the way he usually would with Zoro, and shoved the glass into the cook’s hand. Sanji took it without argument, and immediately wrapped his other arm around the little reindeer’s shoulders. Luffy sat on his other side without missing a beat.

“You’re not cruel, Sanji,” Chopper insisted, determinedly rubbing away any trace of tears from his cheeks. “You’re just sad. We can all be a bit mean when we’re sad.”

“I’m not–”

“You are,” Chopper leaned back to look up at him. “You’re fam– those people, they were so mean to you, Sanji. And – and it must have been so scary, being there with them all alone like that. And then that thing reminded you of them again – of course you’re sad. Now drink your water!” Chopper frowned deeply at him, daring him to argue. The cook grumbled a little even as he smiled fondly down at him and took a long sip, gulping exaggeratedly to make Chopper giggle.

“I was sad,” he admitted after a moment. “But you guys make me happy. And I shouldn’t ever be mean to you. Not like that.” Chopper huffed out an annoyed sigh, but settled back into Sanji’s side without any further argument. Luffy leaned forward, and snatched up the plate abandoned on the grass.

“Luffy! That’s for Sanji!”

“I know! But Sanji said we could share when he doesn’t feel happy enough to eat. Right, Sanji?”

Sanji shook his head at him. “Not quite the way we’d put it in the end, but yeah. Yeah, I guess I did say that.”

“Here, Sanji-kun,” Nami appeared in the doorway next, a nervous looking Carrot at her heels. Nami held out a fork in one hand, and a mikan in the other, kicking away Luffy’s hand when he reached for them. “Sanji-kun first, you pig. You’ve already eaten yours!”

“But Nami! Sanji said I could share!”

“Yeah, ‘share’–”

“Thank you, Nami-san, for doing the dishes,” Sanji broke in before Luffy could moan any more. He took the mikan from her carefully, cradling the precious thing in his hands for a moment before accepting the fork as well. He looked around at them all. “And for this. Everyone. Thank you. And – I’m sorry. About snapping. I’m just – nervous.”

“We know, Sanji-san,” Brook leaned down to rest a gentle hand on his back. “Just eat. Otherwise Chopper-san might blow a fuse, yo ho ho!”

“I don’t have any fuses! I’m not Franky!” Chopper gasped indignantly. “I’m a reindeer, not a cyborg!” Sanji’s burst of laughter was loud, and it was real, and it did more to settle Luffy’s worry than anything else could have.

His cook still wasn’t okay. Not really. Not yet. But they were nearly at Wano. The rest of their nakama were waiting for them, and Luffy couldn’t wait to show Sanji how happy they were all going to be to see him safe again. They’d all be together soon – it had been so long.