don't stop unbelieving

So, I finally completed watching all of SU. Even though I was somewhat keeping up with the newer episodes, I had skipped a few back in S1, which as of last night, I corrected. And it’s just so amazing to me that this show is as moving as it is (not to mention boundary-pushing), especially with its “kid-friendly” vibe and its short episodes. I really have nothing but praises to sing for SU.

I was thinking about the one episode that gets me the most, and I decided that it’s “The Test.” 

Here, Steven is reminded of the one time he messed up a mission by leaving a statue behind, but when Pearl goes to reassure him, she accidentally lets it slip that the mission hadn’t been truly important…more of a test for him. And I mean, we all see where the Gems are coming from: they’re doing some seriously dangerous shit and they’ve got this half-human half-gem kid that they don’t fully understand, and he doesn’t have thousands of years of experience. Of course bringing him onto a really dangerous mission is a high risk.

But that doesn’t mean finding out they’ve been testing him isn’t a total knock to Steven’s confidence. To make up for it, he demands another test and the Gems set up an intricate obstacle course. Unfortunately, he discovers the obstacles are rigged and there was no way for him to fail, or even to get hurt:

Steven eventually climbs to the top of the testing grounds after finding it was all fake and is overly embarrassed by the sham of it. He begins to despair at their continual infantilization of him: 

But gets interrupted when he hears the Gems talking. They’re waiting at the finish line, wondering what’s keeping him held up.

There’s something just so tragic about this imagery to me, because of like, how exciting they’re trying to make it  for him. They set this up for one purpose only: to keep Steven’s confidence high. It’s clear how much they love him, but what becomes even clearer is how unsure they are about raising him. The episode beautifully shifts from being about Steven’s lack of confidence to the Gems’.