sandwich for dinner

You ever make friends so good you start to realize most of the people closest to you have been undercover operatives sent by the devil to ruin your life

(no beers in) So how do you perceive me in the privacy of your thoughts

*trying to pitch public transportation to Americans* it’s like a legal form of texting while driving

i am going to suck you off! *puts in plastic vampire teeth and gives you the worst blowjob imaginable*

[doesn't understand jacking off] and I'm supposed to... touch my penis? [shaking my head and smiling, murmuring to myself] touching my own penis... [chuckles] what will they come up with next

it probably feels good as hell to sexually climax from genital stimulation

"I asked Chat GPT" — well, I asked Mother Nature and she said your brain and soul are rotting inside of you.

Liquor? Um yeah bud if she’ll let me

I be running my fingers through my bush pondering ancient wisdoms

the world is my cuck chair

god, this lamp is hurting my eyes

would you be mad at me if i stuck my hand down your pants while you were talking ? what if i said i needed something to stim with to help me pay attention ?

Dahling you simply must read this book! It’s all about this devious little caterpillar who simply gorges himself on all manner of divine things