one love lost, another memory core gained.
bad decisions i have made, but they all led me here and at least iâm alive today.
with this loss, i have learned things iâve learned before yes, but iâve also learned that being naive will not get anybody anywhere, infact it will hold everyone back.
but, and iâm going to skip like iâm in a dream
iâm faced with an alternate reality
iâm met with a face i once knew before.
still i cannot decode why you meant so much to me, i cannot fathom why i have such a place in my heart for you knowing you wanna snap me in half and aim your gun at me, i will never conjure up all the right reasons why i wanna care for you and alter your history, i wont ever change your mind, i will forever mourn someone who is very much alive, countless poems written about you and youâll never pay me any mind, you know, most of the time i dont rhyme but when i do i find myself running out of time, i get tripped up at the thought of you, the way you look at me when your skin is all black and blue, i like to think karma got to you, but i dont like knowing that you looked at me out of curiosity, that look on youâre face wasnât malicious, but you still talk about me, your words are so full of hate. so which one is real? which face is real today? which horn will go into my face? but whoâs face is actually bleeding?
i never did anything to make you hurt, to make you cry and feel sorrow
iâve always wanted a better tomorrow.
iâll never forget the time that your feelings were different about me, when you actually cared about me and we had a bond, one year on your birthday i was touching your hand and making some sort of pact, this year on your birthday we shared a look that i wonât ever forget.
it felt like i was standing in a field and no one else was around us, just me and you, right infront of each other, not admiring but just gazing at one another.
i wonder if maybe in a few years youâd calm down, and youâd wonder about me, question things, come back to reality, and stand tall.
i miss you. iâll never stop writing about you. i will always continue making poetry that you wonât ever read. i will always care about you though you donât seem to care much about me. i will always listen to songs that i know you enjoy and i will think of you, and i will still love you, i will still wanna hurt you yea, but i can get over my ego and i can forgive you, as long as you can forgive me too. the dreams i have about you wonât go away, i wish you never did either. but time works in funny ways. i hope that one day we can be adults and face each other again. i have a feeling our story isnât over old friend. i hope you can feel me, and to a point i hope my energy haunts you, so cheers to the memories, even if i donât remember all of them.
forever wishing that you could have been apart of me, despite how much of a no good jackass you are right now, and if you ever wanted to come back i would accept you with open arms.
goodnight, i hope you see me in your dreams and i hope i see you in mine, maybe thatâs our way of communicating, and either way i hope you hear me, again i hope you feel me and fuck i hope you see me.