HeadphonesThoughts

I’m a simple blogger who is constantly lost in my thoughts. Follow me on my Headphonesthoughts.com #blogger #blog #headphonesthoughts

Let’s just say… a lot changed in the past year.

Last year was one of the hardest seasons of my life. It felt like one battle after another — emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. The kind of season where you’re not just tired… you’re drained. The kind of year that doesn’t just challenge you — it changes you.

There are things we go through that shift our perspective. And then there are things that reshape who we are at our core.

Last year reshaped me.

Surviving a Hard Season

There were days I felt mentally exhausted and emotionally empty. I struggled to find joy in things I once loved. A lot of my time was spent just trying to recover — trying to feel stable again, trying to feel like myself again.

I’ve had to confront things about myself too.

I’m not going to sit here and pretend I handled everything perfectly. I didn’t. There are choices I regret. Mistakes I’ve made. Moments I wish I could redo. But I’ve also learned something important:

Sometimes when we are in environments that feel unsafe — emotionally or otherwise — we react in ways that are out of character. That doesn’t excuse mistakes. But it does explain how survival mode can distort who we are.

And I was in survival mode.

I dealt with manipulation, backstabbing, lies, and levels of toxicity I never thought I would experience. I encountered racism and sexism in ways that deeply affected me as a mixed-race woman in America. It shook me. It drained me. It forced me to confront realities I hadn’t faced before.

But I’m still here.

Trust, Growth, and Rebuilding

Right now, I’m in what I’d call a rebuilding season.

I’m learning how to trust again — wisely, not blindly. I’m learning that I can hope for justice without becoming bitter. I believe the truth always surfaces. I believe what’s done in the dark eventually comes to light.

You reap what you sow.

My focus now isn’t revenge. It’s restoration.

Restoring my peace.

Restoring my reputation.

Restoring my joy.

Restoring myself.

I want to grow professionally. I want to make wiser decisions. I want to avoid repeating past mistakes. I want to move forward stronger and more self-aware.

There are parts of me that will always remain pillars — core traits that make me who I am. But there are thought patterns and fears I’m actively working to change. I don’t want to live paranoid. I don’t want to live closed off. I want to trust the right people while protecting my peace.

Guarded — but not hardened.

Returning to What I Love

One thing that never left me completely was blogging.

I started HeadphonesThoughts in 2020, and this platform has been with me through everything — growth, career shifts, cons, interviews, opportunities, heartbreak, joy.

Even when I was quiet, the passion never left.

Now I’m slowly returning to the things that bring me life:

Blogging consistently Going back to conventions Creating content Building real friendships Dreaming bigger again

There are still many “firsts” I’ve never experienced — positive milestones I hope this year brings. Healthy firsts. Joyful firsts. Career firsts. Personal firsts.

And I’m choosing to believe they’re still ahead of me.

To the Ones Who Stayed

To the followers who stayed — thank you.

Some people left. Some unfollowed. Some distanced themselves. That hurt.

But the ones who remained? You matter more than you know.

Your quiet support during my hardest year didn’t go unnoticed.

Here’s to Another Year

I can’t promise perfection.

I can’t promise consistency every single week.

But I can promise this:

I’m not quitting.

I’m still chasing my dreams.

I’m still growing.

I’m still learning.

I’m still becoming.

And I’m grateful for how far I’ve come — even if the road here was painful.

Here’s to another year of blogging.

Here’s to restoration.

Here’s to growth.

Here’s to becoming stronger than what tried to break me.

And here’s to moving forward — wiser, softer, and stronger.

— Deborah