Celestial Lilypad

Anyway!!! having a broken heart when the other person has just moved on sucks so fucking bad. How can you love and hate a person in such equal measures. Where does one start and one end. I don’t even know if it would make me feel better to scream and cry and make her feel like shit but god sometimes it would just be FUCKJNG NICE. Because how could you not realize how much you’ve hurt another person? How could someone not comprehend the harm they do? But does the love I still feel trap me in a prison of forgiveness and resentment that’s killing me while she feels nothing? Or if she does, she’ll never say it because saying it means the harm is true.

I dunno.

I just. I think I’m just sad. Each time I see a new picture I think I’ll be ok and adjusted because I know it’s true. But nope. It just keeps stinging and aching like a nasty festering wound I never finished a round of antibiotics on.

I feel like the sad bacteria in me is getting smarter bc I refuse to finish my antibiotics bc I miss the stupid bacteria.

I think this analogy isn’t working anymore.