Increasingly hearing the internal dialogue "if you are into fandom stuff by this age you are a [insert derogatory name] and you will [insert consequence]". Was trying to figure out where this came from, as I've always been a proud nerd growing up. One of the reasons is probably age, the other is the environment I was in, where you are supposed to be nerdy only about your discipline and nothing else, and you are expected to present a certain image that is as far from nerdy as can be. There are people that fit this image well, and it made me feel ashamed that I don't. Deep down I hated having to present this way and it felt performative every time I do.
So today I decided to pop up on tumblr after years of absence to remind myself that it's ok to be a nerd, and being one will not negatively impact my future. If anything, hiding my nerdiness will alienate me from myself and that's how you stray from a path that is right for you
