What you know 'bout Sheeran?

Ed: Even after all that shit?

Ed: More likely to write about not bein' able to find me cigarette's right now. That's what me heart's achin' for atm

Ed: I'm appalled you think I'm that easy. My heart's truly broken.

Ed: Gonna need a little more than this, love.

Ed: Be down in one sec

Ed: "Fuckin' lucky then, innit. Might have me a lot more kids if I didn't suffer from Whiskey Dick." His laugh was short lived though as he inhaled sharply at his mate's question. "If it is mine, then...that's me kid, mate. That's /me/. Can't just wish her well and tell 'em to sod off, can I? Me dad was everythin' to me growin' up. Him and mum both would proper fuck me up if they ever found out I had a baby I hadn't claimed." Ed's elbows fell to his knees as his hands fell over his face and through his hair. He took a moment to collect himself. "Jesus Christ, mate, what if it /is/ actually mine? The fuck am I gonna do?" He mindlessly asked as he thought out loud. "I'd be a proper shit father. I'm not bad at bein' a Godfather 'cus I can hand 'em back when I need to, yeah? But...me own?" He sighed. "I don't know. I also feel proper bad for him 'cus, his own wife's pregnant and doesn't have a bloody clue it may not be his. And he's fuckin' excited. And she fuckin' cheated on him. And I helped her. I'm absolute shite."

Ed: "Oi. Guarantee you've got that issue too. Probably just too drunk to remember ya not gettin' it up." He laughed. The question of how far along she is nearly made him cringe. A simple question any supposed expecting father should know. "She's told me. Quite few times now, yeah. Don't recall ever listenin'. I've been absolute proper fuckin' shit, mate. 'm a proper cunt." Shaking his head, he inhaled heavenly on his lit cigarette that was down to the bud. He pressed it into the ashtray, putting it out before mindlessly grabbing another and placing it between his lips, lighting it up again. "Naw - think we're both thinking if it's not talked about it won't come true. Will magically end up bein' his. Don't even know the last time he's proper fucked his wife though. There's a reason she was out cheatin', innit."