everything is fucking great

‘Booze sounds like the safer option. What are you drinking?’

“Whatever you put into my hand. Preferably in a cup but, I’ll adapt.”

‘I never said I was gonna do shit. I just implied someone should. You proved me right too, ‘cause here’s his so-called best pal encouraging people to go let him take a verbal hit just to feed his own pettiness. Fuck that. And leave Perrie outta it. She went through a lot to plan tonight. If you even give half a shit about Zayn as much as you claim to, you’ll respect that and her.’

“I didn’t encourage it so he could get a verbal hit. I thought he’d actually get a nice laugh out of some dick approaching him and telling him to stop spending time with his brother but, take it as you will.” He rolled his eyes. “You’re fucking delusional. Danielle put this together. None of this would’ve happened without her.”

“What makes you so special then?”

“I’ll let you find out in time.”

A+ for honesty.

“Damn, that’s the best mark I’ve ever got.”

“Nice to see your priorities lie with cigarettes.”

“Did your delusional mind think they laid with you?”

“Oh I uh..”

“Mate, if you want to try and deny it, the stuttering isn’t going to help.”

So i had one of the best days on my birthday doing a little show to celebrate with the fans, it was sweet. But now i’m back here, you people may owe me some celebrations 

Oh god, are we gonna have to do a Liamaversary now?’

“You’d really stoop to his level?”

“Sure, if I got some smokes out of it.”

‘I do apologise.’

“I accept apologies in the form of booze and weed.”

‘I’m sure it would. Does it feel good taking advantage of your buddy’s kind nature like that?’ 

“Just about as good as it might feel thinking you can tell my buddy who he can and can’t be friends with. Maybe I’ll have a chat with Perrie as well. Have her sort through her daddy issues so she can re-evaluate her choices.”

“Don’t think it’s the best life goal to be worse than Trump,”

“Don’t judge my life goals.”

‘You’re welcome,’ Jenn hummed, following him as promised. ‘So. Here’s my first question of the night.             How come Spiderman didn’t end up with four arms and four legs?’

Louis didn’t react to Jenn following behind him, knowing her well enough by now to know she would follow through with her promise. “Ah, excellent question. I’m gonna redirect you to my boy, Tommy. Spiderman himself. Nice chat though.”

‘I’m good, but I’m not that good. I can’t make the impossible possible, Lou.’

“You’re right. You’re not that good.”

‘Ugh. I forgot how annoying your voice is.’

“Maybe you ought to shut me up then”

Sounds more cocky than confident.

I’ll take the cock part of it.

‘I wouldn’t dream of it.’

“You came damn near close.”