Cayla

Here’s the deal about dating in today’s world: it sucks.  Why does it suck?  Nobody wants to show any emotion toward each other, and no one wants to treat anyone the way they should be treated. Nobody wants to own up to commitment and nobody wants to focus on anyone or anything but themselves.  Don’t get me wrong, you SHOULD be your own priority but if you’re dating someone, you should let them…

If you feel like you’re messing up, keep going. Ifyou feel like you’re remaining stagnant, keep going. If you feel like you are still so far from the person you want to be, keep going. If you feel like you’re in a rut, keep going. Because it’s when we face setbacks or experience a sense of a plateau that we want to just give up or even tuck our tails and run.  We convince ourselves that we might…

The only way we can really make sense of ourselves, our family, our friends, and our lives is to view them as imperfect human systems.  Not only are our current lives imperfect, but we all come from a history of belonging to and being formed by imperfect human systems.​When we acknowledge this to ourselves and each other, we stop pretending to be the perfect person or having the perfect life.  In…

All I want is the chance to stop pretending to be happy for a few hours. Because it’s hard to pretend to be happy all the time. After a lot of hard work and some sacrifices, you have everything you’re supposed to have & your life looks amazing. Except it doesn’t FEEL amazing. Instead of feeling happy, like you’re “supposed” to, you feel drained and dissatisfied. But you have all that you’ve…

The Noble Art of Starting Over.

It’s scary to start over. It’s scary to pursue a new career, to step into uncertainty, to be single again. It takes courage…or catastrophe. Starting over means you have the chance to build what you really want. Imagine building a house of cards and then seeing it destroyed by a breeze or a gust of wind. You’re disappointed, right? But then you start over, and maybe the new one is better. It…

To be clear, I love love but I want to feel whole. I want to be my own rock, my own anchor, my own soul mate. I want to understand myself better than anyone else can. Anyone that knows me knows that when I fall, I fall fast and I fall hard. I am a hopeless romantic who wears my heart on my sleeve. I have never been “just Cayla”; So now, at this point in my life, I need to feel like I’m complete,…

I found what I was looking for

You can’t step into your purpose until you step out of your past. For me finding my purpose was anything but easy; it took years of mistakes, life lessons, broken hearts and questioning myself.  I am my biggest critic and I tend to hold my own past against myself, I need to remind myself often that my car needs a rearview mirror, not my life. My “dream job” wasn’t my purpose, it didn’t take me…

Do you know how I’ll get over this? I promise I won’t lead myself to crash and burn. I won’t leave any room for self-destruction. For the first time ever, I will face it all head on. I won’t run from anything. I will cry, I will vent and I will slam doors when I feel like it. I won’t punch any walls, I won’t sleep around. It won’t be smooth but it’ll pass. It won’t be an easy path but I’ll…

Do you know how I’ll get over this? I promise I won’t lead myself to crash and burn. I won’t leave any room for self-destruction. For the first time ever, I will face it all head on. I won’t run from anything. I will cry, I will vent and I will slam doors when I feel like it. I won’t punch any walls, I won’t sleep around. It won’t be smooth but it’ll pass. It won’t be an easy path but I’ll…

Skill & Confidence are an unconquered Army

I feel like it’s slightly ironic that I’m writing a post about self-confidence, that’s not because I have no self-confidence. In all actuality, I honestly do believe I can accomplish anything I truly want to go after.  I honestly don’t think anything is off limits. But I’ll tell you what, it’s so easy to forget all of that when I’m going through the normal day to day life. Fear and self-doubt…

I am not certain what I expected after hitting one year sober.  I’m coming up on a year and a half now and I definitely thought I’d have it all figured out by now.  Much to my surprise, it is far from smooth sailing.  While I don’t have the obsession, the thought still crosses my mind.  It’s a very small moment, but when it happens, it instills a fear within me that is practically…

Passion & Purpose

Mark Twain said — ‘Find a job you enjoy doing, and you will never have to work a day in your life.’ I used to think that was the most cliché thing I had ever heard.  5 years ago I would’ve told you, you’re an idiot; Hell, 1 year ago I would’ve said the same thing.  Doing what you love can be a near impossible task, especially when you don’t have any special degrees or certifications.  What are…

The world belongs to anyone who wants to make a difference. Building a career is hard enough on its own, to build a career in a challenging environment is an entirely different level of difficulty.  Furthermore, gender based views on what someone’s career should be, should never stop you from pursuing a dream of yours.  Working in construction has kept me driven and curious to learn more.  It’s…

Being in any trade in general has never really been on my radar and when given the opportunity 5 years ago, I was hesitant but excited to learn.  I am a woman who thrives off of learning and gaining any knowledge that helps me become more independent.  Becoming a part of the HVAC trade, or I imagine any trade for that matter, is an extremely empowering experience.  I’ve learned skills that I can…

So today I realized this is the longest I have spent in a job ever!!I have been with Hyvac for 5 years + now and it’s flown by, so what has made this job different?– The company has handed me a career opportunity– I feel valued– I feel challenged– I was given room to grow and evolve– I am part of a team that is like a family– I am always learning– I feel passionate about what I doThe right…

“Sophomore” Year

For those that don’t know I was sober for 14 months back in 2011-2012, I haven’t done year 2 before nor have I worked the steps in my first year like I did this past time.  As far as year 2 goes though, I would describe it generally, as hellish but a different kind of hell from year 1.  Throwing a pandemic into the mix and it’s a dangerous time if I’m not careful.  As I approach 18 months sober,…

Sobriety has brought so much good to my life and is helping me heal from things I had no idea I suffered from, or at least I was in denial of.  I’m almost a year and a half sober and I’ve found that I am overrun with codependent tendencies.  I’m learning to stay sober and deal with life on life’s terms as well as how to reverse the codependency traits I am starting to notice and learn…