got a taste for the cherry

“Where were you?” Tepin wrapped both hands around the warm cup of tea that was offered to her. She carefully placed it under her nose, taking a long, slow whiff of the fragrant jasmine that was infused into the hot water. Between coffee and tea, she has always preferred the latter. It was much calmer, and the balam believed that it helped the savage beast within her. How she hoped she had drowned herself in tea that day.

Confession was nothing new to Tepin. Back home, her parents taught her the value of honesty, responsibility, of always keeping a calm mind and a clear head. Confession allows someone to lift a massive weight off their shoulders, to unburden themselves from a mistake, to ready their feet towards a path of redemption and salvation. But the road Tepin has walked, it may be too red, too drenched in innocent blood, to lead her somewhere safe. Not that she’s worthy of that yet. If ever.

Placing the cup back on the mahogany coffee table—or would it have been more appropriate to refer to it as a tea table for now?—and slowly looking at her host in his dark brown eyes, Tepin could no longer find the heart to delay the inevitable. This was what she came here for, risked everything to do. She knew he could use it against her, maybe even drag her into a cell or worse, but she would deserve that and he did promise before sanctuary for her when she needed it the most. She needed it now more than ever. “Sam, I think I might have killed my neighbor.”

When Tepin privately messaged Sam about wanting to talk, he suggested fetching her from her home, a creepy old cabin in the woods, to his place, which wasn’t as hard to find. Of course, Tepin declined his offer, which was a little weird and hurtful, but Sam thought it was probably just some woman thing or whatever. He also thought the very attractive but also very strange woman just wanted to catch up, maybe even hook up, but the dour demeanor she showed up with at his door made him rethink all that. 

“I was in South Korea,” Sam explained nonchalantly, taking a sip of his tea, something he brought back from that trip, which was in itself one hell of a ride. Yoo-ara, his assistant who was born and raised in a small sleepy village far from Seoul, a place not unlike White Crest, had never struck Sam to be a normal, ordinary, mundane human such as him, but he also never expected what she truly was. To this day, even weeks after their adventure, Sam wasn’t quite sure what she truly was. Some sort of priestess, maybe. A very bad one at that. “...helping a friend.”

The next thing he knew, Tepin was telling him of a possible crime she had committed while he was gone. Sam felt himself freeze, confused and unsure of what to do or say next. Would this entire conversation incriminate him? More importantly, is this a confession or a segue to her killing him, too? Tepin did not look like a mass murderer to Sam, but to be fair, Yoo-ara didn’t look like she knew more about the secrets of this world than he did. “Wait, you think you might have killed your neighbor? Which neighbor? How? Tell me everything, Tepin. Everything.”

“South Korea?” That was an odd place to imagine Sam. At least for Tepin anyway. She looked around the room and caught glimpses of photographs of the politician in various other places, definitely not just White Crest, unless White Crest had those French tomb thingies. Isn’t that place fictional? “You have a friend?” The revelation broke her out of her reverie, forcefully dragging her back into the present, and shoved her straight into Sam, figuratively. It was rude of her to assume he did not, but all the same, they weren’t that close for her to know. He could assume the same of her and it would be all right. “I mean…”

Tepin took a deep breath, hands on her knees, back straightened on the chair. She dared to close her eyes, a part of her believing she was safe with Sam. That or maybe he wasn’t as much of a threat to her as everything else had been. He’d kept her safe during that adventure to the cove, with Bobbi and the woman with the jellyfish army. There was no reason Sam would hurt her, or betray her, right? “I’m not sure myself but I’ve been having these dreams… I don’t know her personally. I’ve just seen her around. I think she sells paintings or something? Asian-looking woman?”

That last part was probably unnecessary. And unhelpful. The Outskirts was a haven for all sorts of people, Asians included. There’d be more than one Asian-looking woman in that place, and the description was extremely vague. But Tepin wasn’t great with describing things, and most of her memories of that day were also extremely vague. She was so desperate for answers, for help, which was why she went to Sam and no one else. Tepin closed her eyes, explaining further to Sam what she could, how she felt, though most of the words that spilled forth made little to no sense, mostly incoherent. “...and then I just woke up near a cliff, a clump of dark raven hair in my hand, a piece of her clothing I ripped maybe in the other, the scent of jasmine lingering around my nose, but there was no trace of the woman, only images of her in my dreams, nightmares…”

 “Yes, my assistant is from South Korea. She was the friend,” he tried his best to remain calm and composed, especially after that honest jab from Tepin about his social life, which the ghost of his late father immediately picked up on, laughing behind her. Sam heaved a sigh, looking away, not wanting to make Tepin feel uncomfortable. As much as he was the victim here, he made sure she would not feel the guilt of accidentally mocking him in the presence of the man that had made his childhood utterly unbearable. Not that she would be able to see him, or know that his ghost was haunting the Jackson residence at the moment for unknown reasons. Unless she’s gifted, of course.

Sam instead focused on Tepin’s description of her supposed victim. “Dreams?” That part made him think she was just making stuff up. That or she was, like him, feeling lonely and was just using all this to make herself feel less, well, lonely. He could help with that. If she’d allow him. But then she mentioned more about the woman, and Sam was quick to realize who she was talking about. At least he only knew one person who fit the description. “Are you talking about Hikari Narisawa?”

Sam and Hikari haven’t met recently. The last time they did was a few years back, around the time he returned to White Crest. She was at the party his deadbeat father held, and as the night went on, Sam came to know that she was the representative the Museum of Monstrosities had sent, though according to her, she wasn’t a regular employee of that strange place. A few drinks later, and the rest of the night was a blur. Shame. Would’ve really loved to remember every detail. “If I remember correctly, she was renting that Grant place in the Outskirts.” And she did smell like jasmine, all of her, including that dark raven hair. 

“You want me to pay her a visit to check?”

“Hikari…Narisawa?” Tepin mouthed her name, speaking it out loud as if it would help her figure out if the woman was the same or not. For the life of her, she still had her doubts, but soon relented. Tepin didn’t know a lot of people in the town, even her neighbors in the Outskirts, but Sam? Sam was a public official. He worked for the town. Between the two of them, he would be the one who’d know more people. He most likely knew his stuff. Besides, the name did sound appropriate. She did look Japanese, and for some reason, when Tepin said the name, her face came to mind. That was a vision, wasn’t it? The universe assuring her that the name and the face were of the same person? Or maybe she was just losing it. “Sounds…right, yeah.”

She also lived in the Outskirts, this Hikari woman. Tepin wasn’t sure where the Grant residence was, or what it was, as she had never been there, near the place, or if she had, she couldn’t remember or didn’t know. Maybe the jaguar had been there, not her. The jaguar seemed to be the more social creature between the two of them, having met more people…before it killed them. Tepin visibly shuddered at the thought, taking her cup of tea in both hands and leaning back in her seat, propping her feet on the same. There was fear in her face as she lost herself to her dark thoughts.

“Hmm?” Sam’s voice managed to pull Tepin back into the real world, away from her reverie, where she was filling herself with blame and dread. “I… Yeah, that sounds… Good.” She wasn’t quite sure what else to say. Taking a sip of her drink, she gulped after gulping the tea. If the jaguar had truly killed a resident of the town, one that contributed greatly and seemed friends or was at least an acquaintance of a public official, doesn’t that mean that she was putting everyone in danger? That she was the danger? She carefully placed the cup back on the table and turned to Sam with pleading eyes. “What happens now?”

“Should I go to the police? Get put down? Leave town? …end myself?”

While Tepin was contemplating her options, so too was Sam. He was now technically privy to a crime, but he didn’t want to just drag her to the police station. He wasn’t even sure what she was telling him, confessing to him, was real, right, whatever was appropriate. Sam questioned the manner by which she was remembering things, noting how she wasn’t even sure who her supposed victim was. Maybe it was just an accident? Hell, maybe Hikari wasn’t even harmed.

Sam thought of the last time he was with Hikari, scrambled his brain to try and come up with everything he knew about her. The woman was strange, that much was obvious. The way she talked reminded him of a grandma, an old-fashioned woman, someone who was so out of touch with technology and modern times, they could have spent most of their lives in a cult, which was a bad thing for Sam, considering his ex-girlfriend was a cultist, or she was too old to have been born before computers and the bidet. But Hikari didn’t look that old. She didn’t feel that old. She sure as hell didn’t move as old.

“Wait, what?” Sam squinted at Tepin who seemed like she was taking everything at a notch higher than normal. Going to the police should help, but they weren’t really even sure if what happened truly happened. It would just be a hilarious but annoying interruption of the daily lives of their friends in blue, especially if Hikari was well and alive and wasn’t in any sort of danger. “Get put down? What are you? A wild animal?” Sam chuckled at that last part, oblivious to the truth about Tepin’s nature. He could only shake his head at her last two suggestions. He leaned forward, looking Tepin straight in her very attractive eyes. “Listen, Tepin, just calm down. We’ll need to verify your story first by checking with Hikari. After that? We’ll burn that bridge when we get there.”

“You know, you can just use all this as blackmail,” his ghost of a father finally spoke, seemingly only heard by him, which annoyed Sam to no end. He ignored him as he usually did ever since he returned from the dead and focused all his attention on his friend.

Yes, Sam. I am a wild animal. At least part of me is, I think. A wild animal that has killed more than I can remember. A wild animal that has endangered her family and friends. And now, after finding sanctuary and peace in this town, I’m afraid the wild animal that I am has endangered everyone else here. Tepin wanted to tell Sam the truth, to share those words in her head, to admit to him that she was not like him, that she was more of a monster than he would ever come to know, but she didn’t feel like she was ready to share that part of herself with anyone yet. 

But when? Now that she has killed someone that Sam knew, was it not the best time to divulge her deepest, darkest secret? How many more must die, how many more must the jaguar kill and consume, before Tepin would accept the truth of herself, of her entire being, her curse and her cross to bear? When their eyes met, however, Tepin found peace in Sam, a peace she had never known, at least not recently, and calmed herself down. She nodded, agreeing to his logic, and let out small breaths to make sure she would not succumb to her panic once again. The jaguar might take that opportunity to escape.

“So what do I do now? In the meantime?” Tepin swallowed air again as she stared at him in his eyes, fear and longing in them, only his peace seemingly able to satiate their panic.

“Well, that’s up to you, really,” Sam couldn’t help but let out a sigh. To be fair, he’s never been in this situation before, and try as he might, he just couldn’t remember anyone he’s ever known to have come to him in this manner with this problem. He squinted at her, scratching his chin, looking her over from head to toe as he tried his best to come up with soothing words to calm her nerves down. But Sam was not made for soothing. He wasn’t brought up in a household that encouraged soothing. “You can come with me when I check Miss Narisawa’s place. Grant Residence is hard to miss.” Even though you’d want to.

Sam and Anton Grant barely knew each other, but the few times their paths crossed, it never became a happy one. Or a normal one. It was like his relationship with Emilio, except less angry. Sometimes, two people just can’t exist in the same place, in the same room. Fortunately, this town is big enough for the both of us, he thought, oblivious to the irony that Hikari’s landlord hasn’t been in town for the past couple of months. He tried his best to focus on the task at hand, even as the ghost of his deadbeat dad sauntered towards Tepin and started sniffing her like a complete pervert. Disgusting. “This one smells like there’s a beast inside of her, waiting to be let out, ravaged even.”

Heaving an extremely annoyed sigh, Sam gritted his teeth as he ignored the remnant of the old man’s sorry excuse for a soul. Still an asshole even in death, eh? He focused all his attention on Tepin, leaning forward, taking a moment to make sure she was fine with his touch, before holding her hand in his. His dark brown eyes stared deeply in her own, hoping his effort could be enough to quell the fear and panic she was feeling right now. Thinking you murdered someone does that to you. Sam would know. “You should have someone stay with you tonight. I’ll have to check in with someone else in the morning before we can visit Miss Narisawa. Do you have someone else who can stay with you? Just for the night?”

“Ooooh, I’ll stay with her, son. All. Night. Long.” Sam clenched his jaw at that thought, remembering the words of a wise man, which he repeated in his head to calm himself down as a mantra of sorts: Piss off, ghost. 

Tepin just nodded at Sam’s suggestion. Even if she just wanted to run, skip town even, she knew she shouldn’t. She can’t. Not anymore. These people have been good to her, Sam especially. Disappearing on him would be a terrible way to repay his kindness. And Hikari Narisawa? Whoever she was, her loved ones deserve closure. If she did in fact murder her, even if it was the jaguar’s fangs that ripped her apart, Tepin should be made to pay for its sins. Where would I even go? When would the running stop?

Slowly, she turned to him, his eyes dragging her from her deepest, darkest thoughts and back into his living room. Tepin couldn’t do anything else but look into them, and for probably the first time since she came to town, she felt safe. “I…don’t have someone else,” she swallowed air at that admission. How could she have someone else? The jaguar would just rip them apart. “I don’t need someone else. I should be fine on my own.”

Tepin tried her best to flash him with her best smile, but all she could muster was a weak one, half-meant, half-burdened by her doubts and fears. Then she realized something: What if Sam wasn’t concerned about her safety for the night? What if he actually wanted someone to watch her just in case she’d skip town? He was working for the government, after all, and she’d met his kind. Not just once. “But if you need to make sure I won’t run, I can stay here with you,” she looked around them, searching for a place she could sleep in without harming him should the jaguar break free. “You have a basement, right?”

The first time they met, Sam should've already expected Tepin’s admission of being alone, living alone. The cabin she called home didn’t look like it had been housing more than one person. It didn’t even look like it was housing someone as attractive as Tepin. That place looked more suited to a giant bearded man, a lumberjack, or a witch of the woods. But a part of him assumed she would have found someone, maybe a friend or a lover, since the last time they were together. He realized that was a tad too ironic, considering his own loneliness.

He feigned a cough when Tepin suggested staying with him, blushing at the thought of having someone else in the house, especially someone as beautiful as her. The annoyingly loud chuckling of his ghost father did not help. Sam tried to compose himself, ignoring the expectant eyes of his deadbeat, and very much still dead, father. “It’s not that I have to make sure you won’t run,” he moved closer towards her in an attempt to make her feel less distanced from him, even though it could’ve just served to suffocate her more with his presence. “It’s just that I want to make sure you’re alright, that you won’t go through all this alone.”

Sam knew the feeling of having to go through something like this alone. Finding yourself in the precarious position of a possible murder suspect was one thing, having to go through all that paranoia, that fear of the inevitable and the possible, was something else entirely. He didn’t want someone else, especially not someone as nice as Tepin, to go through the same thing. Alone. That part about the basement was a little weird, though. He just stared at her for a couple of moments before shaking his head, getting out of his seat, and extending a hand for her to grab. “I do, but if you want to stay here for a while, at least until things cool down, I’m not going to have you sleep in my basement.”

“You can sleep in my room, Tepin,” Sam offered her a warm smile, and as soon as their hands touched, he would begin to guide her to the aforementioned room. “I can take the couch. It’s a big couch. I don’t need that much sleep, and besides, you won’t need to stay long anyway. I’ll make sure you’re safe and protected.”

His father did not approve. “You’re still such a weak little boy. Can’t even take advantage of the prize before you. Forever a loser.”

Tepin was a little surprised when Sam mentioned something about having to go through things alone. She had been doing that since the get-go, since the first time the jaguar escaped, since the first corpse she woke up next to, herself drenched in his blood. Tepin frowned and closed her eyes, shaking her head to fend off those dark thoughts from her mind. When she opened her eyes again, she tried her best to put on a smile, though it was barely warm and it took a lot from her. “Thank you, Sam. That means a lot.”

The basement would have been the safest choice. Outside of chaining her up outside, anyway. While Tepin would not harm a fly, the same could not be said for the beast that hid underneath her skin. She swallowed air, her heart rate rising. The living room would be too much wiggle room for the jaguar, and even if it might not harm Sam and just escape, it would claim another victim so easily. In his room? With him?

The sigh of relief that escaped her lips was not subtle. It wasn’t that Tepin didn’t want to sleep with Sam, or be in the same room with him. It was just that she had no control over the jaguar, and she’d rather not wake up to his mangled remains. Would it be so rude to decline the polite offer of her would-be protector? She raised an eyebrow, realizing something. I don’t have a choice…

Tepin paced her breathing until everything seemed to slow down. She kept her gaze on Sam, meeting his eyes with wide-eyed wonder. This is the only way. It wouldn’t be the first time she’d do this. Her survival was paramount. Everything else was noise. Tepin caressed his hand with her own, breathing softly, and though wary, immediately crossed the gap between them, between their lips. She followed that up with a hand on his cheek, almost cupping his ear, before both snaked around his neck, as she invited him to be more passionate, luring him into her trap. This is my only escape.

Oh. Sam did not expect Tepin to go for a kiss right then and there, but who was he to decline? She was a beautiful woman who smelled really, really nice. He was an idiot whose last intimate moment was with someone who hated him. This was not something he could pass up, though the thought of his father watching and sneering immediately spoiled the mood for him. Ghost or not, the old man didn’t deserve to be privy to his private life. Softly, Sam took Tepin’s hands and unwrapped them from his neck, moving away from her kiss, though he did not want to. God fucking damn it.

“Tepin… What are you doing?” Sam asked softly, eyes searching hers for any clue. Maybe she was drunk or under the influence? Maybe she thought this was how she’d pay for his kindness? That’s fucked up. Very. Sam didn’t want that kind of deal. He wanted to help Tepin, and he didn’t want her to pay him for that. In money or…in kind. Besides, if it was happening, he’d rather it happen organically between the two of them. Like in those romantic comedies he loved watching but had to stop when his stupid ghost dad started haunting him. “You are an unbelievably attractive young woman,” he had to calm himself down, already regretting this stupid mistake. “But I wouldn’t want to take advantage of you like this. I’d rather take you out to dinner first, if you know what I mean?”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Sam,” his dead father’s ghost interjected. “You honestly think a girl like that’s going to sleep with you under normal circumstances?” Rude. Sam tried ignoring him but the man would not just shut the hell up. “You’re a 2, she’s an 11. That ain’t happening, kid.”

“Huh?” Tepin was a little confused. Why didn’t it work on him? Why was he resisting? Was she doing it wrong? No, how could she? There was no wrong way of doing something like this. But maybe Sam just wasn’t into her. She felt her throat tighten at that realization, her cheeks flushing red. She turned away from him, more than just slightly embarrassed. I’m not his type! “Oh, gosh, I’m so sorry! I didn’t… I shouldn’t have… I thought you liked me or something…”

But he did. Or at least he called Tepin attractive. That’s supposed to be a good thing, isn’t it? She was a little slow, especially since no one has ever declined this from her, not that she’s done this a lot of times already, but she understood what he meant, piecing things together. She suddenly chuckled, shaking her head. Tepin didn’t remember Sam being this chivalrous the first time they met. Or maybe he always was and she was just focusing on herself back then, right now. Hard not to when you have a monster inside of you. “You already have, don’t you remember? Dinner, I mean. At the moose restaurant?”

It was where they first met and Tepin had just transformed back after a night as the jaguar, a night she could not remember. She wasn’t even sure it was just one night. Could have been an entire week. The jaguar wasn’t precise with its scheduling. It was fickle and unexpected. Not unlike Sam, I guess. Her fears dissipated, and her embarrassment followed suit. She moved closer to him, an inch from his lips. “You’re not taking advantage of me, Sam. If anything, I’m taking advantage of you. Please…let me.” This could be the last time.

It might sound creepy, and it probably is, but Sam found her awkwardness very sexy. The way Tepin was left flustered by his response… It wasn’t something Sam witnessed firsthand and as a response to anything he’s ever said. Just like in those romantic comedies. He wanted to touch her face, place a hand on her cheek, maybe even brush stray strands of her hair from her face and tuck them behind her ear. It would be a dream come true. But he stayed his course and resisted the temptation, feigning dignity, as the ghost of his father rolled his eyes in disbelief.

“The Moose Caboose?” Sam grinned at the memory. It was a strange first meeting for sure. Not something he could have orchestrated even if he tried his best. He had initially thought she was a homeless woman desperate for food, and for fear of making himself look like a heartless bastard, he ordered and paid to satiate her hunger. Even then, he couldn’t deny that she was someone special. “Weird first date, but my weirdest.”

“Are you sure, Tepin?” Sam hesitated. He tried to rein himself back as best as he could but she was persistent. With only an inch or so from each other, Sam could feel the warmth of her breath on his skin. He was only a man, after all, weak and easily persuaded. Slowly, he granted her wish, pressing his lips against hers. It was his turn to hold her close, tight, and he did so as he savored her very taste, carefully moving the both of them to his room, away from his dead father’s prying eyes, but throughout wary of any change in Tepin’s movement and demeanor. If she changed her mind, he would stop. Anything else would not be him.

“Don’t worry, kind,” the ghost muttered from behind his door as it slowly closed on him, Sam’s foot clumsily carrying out the wish of the rest of him. “I won’t peek. I’m not that evil.” Sam caught a glimpse of his ghastly sneer right as the door finally closed between them, separating his past from his present. Relieved, he shifted his focus on Tepin again, making sure she was as comfortable as he could make her.

Tepin let herself be devoured by Sam, as she had done a lot of more sinful devouring herself. Well, not herself exactly, but if there was a chance that the jaguar was in fact the same as her, that it was just another aspect of her, then this was the least sinful of all the things that she had done and perhaps would ever do. In the safety of his room, Tepin took a moment to pause, not because she changed her mind but because she wanted to take a good look at him, to remember his face, because it could be the last time they would be in the same room together. 

And then she devoured him. As herself, as Tepin, and not the jaguar, though she tried to be more furious, wilder than the caged animal within. She wanted to prove to herself that she could be just as feral and untamed as her other half, even though it was not the most appropriate of moments. Anything you do, I can do better. For all the things that the jaguar had taken from her, she would do the same to it. But alone. Without risking anyone else. 

As soon as Sam was out, Tepin gave him a quick kiss on his cheek. He did not move. That was when she decided to go, to disappear, never to be seen again. If she had indeed committed the crime, taking the life of one Hikari Narisawa, she would not stay to pay for the jaguar’s crimes. She would honor her better. By finally putting the damned creature down herself. Thank you, Sam. For everything. 

As she left Sam’s house and began to walk away, she stopped and stole one final glimpse of his place, imagining him still in his bed, drunk with happiness, a wide smile on his face. It wasn’t the best of gifts to leave a friend with, nor would she advise others to do the same, but it was the only thing Tepin could do to disappear without any more arguments. It was the only thing she had left in her own arsenal. Tepin had become a liability to the town. She would have wanted to stay longer, to actually live and die here, but she could not risk everyone else’s safety for her selfish reasons. One day, she’ll find a cure, and then she’ll be back. Take care of yourself, White Crest.

Sam was caught by surprise when Tepin revealed herself to actually be, what the kids would call, “wild” in bed. He had no expectations going in, but she had always been so sweet and so nice to him, that a part of him always thought she would be the same with her more intimate affairs. Guess I thought wrong. Or maybe this just wasn’t the same as the more intimate affairs that Tepin would have. Maybe she was sweet and nice, maybe that was just for the ones she truly cared about, love even, just not to Sam.

But Sam did not really have any time to dwell on those thoughts. He was out like a light as soon as his body reached its limit, when his body could no longer hold it all in, and when he came to, Tepin was already gone. Dazed and confused, he wiped his face with his hands and looked around his room for a second time. There was not a single trace of the woman who lived alone in a cabin in the woods. Was it all just a dream?

Leaving the safety of his room to investigate further, this time more clothed, Sam was ambushed by his father’s ghost, the damned thing with a wide grin on his face. If he didn’t know any better, Sam would think the old man was proud of him. For some perverted reason. But Sam did know better. The old man, dead as he was, could never have that feeling for his own son, his only son. “Well, well, well! Guess who’s finally awake?” Has it been hours already? The sun had almost fully set. “She’s gone, kid. Like the wind. Guess you don’t have what it takes to make a goddess stay, eh?”