What the fuck are you doing

I rarely get proud of my drawings this much, yippee!

Also, commissions open at my ko-fi!

in an odyssey,

so back in the splatoon 1 days, there was a cats vs. dogs splatfest. the squid research lab posted this promo image for the fest

now, much like the modern era, no one cares about the catgirls. its all about the dogboys. on july 6th 2015, instagram user marble.soda posted the very first depiction of tim, though he was unnamed

eleven days later, on july 11th, twitter user cloesy (who has since deactivated or changed usernames, because the old link to the tweet is broken) reposted marble's image with the first instance of the name "splat tim"

finally, on august 3rd, twitter user mcbedtime (whose tweet still exists as of posting this) tweeted the first instance of the "he does it" catchphrase with a mockup game cover for splat tim

he's one of the originals: look, a lot of these upstarts are new to the party. they may be sexy and they may be men, but they lack legacy. not so with herobrine. herobrine's been around. he's been around before sans. he's been around before bill cipher. he's one of the original originals alongside the onceler himself. know your herstory etc etc

he fits more of the criteria: look. i love benrey, i love reigen arataka, i love raymond animalcrossing. but look me in the eyes and tell me: is there a significant portion of people who ship them with themselves? once upon a time that used to be a requirement. and guess who does fit that requirement? that's right. herobrine. i mean, yeah, there's also herosteve i guess, but i was there back in the mid-2010s! i know what i saw! even to this day people will make new herobrine variant ocs! and guess what! sometimes they smooch!

he's a trailblazer: i think quite possibly one of the few more influential video game creepypastas you could cite would be BEN Drowned, but with all my respects -- he does not have the advantage of being in one of the longest-living games of the decade. herobrine, meanwhile? herobrine comes from the same time as first-era MCYT, and no matter how you feel about the phrase "MCYT" as a whole, you should know that interpretive roleplay and storytelling in the confines of video games is very, very cool and very, very important. and the first villain of every 13-year-old's minecraft roleplay? if it wasn't herobrine, he almost certainly made an impact elsewhere.

he's been through a lot: if i had a nickel for every time i saw whitewashed herobrine i would probably be a millionaire. despite being blocks he gets drawn as a stereotypical muscleman (twig herobrines get a pass they have a je ne sais quoi about them). his alive half-brother is a total asshole. people hate him on instinct because some famous jackass or another happens to play the game he's originated from. he's gotten banned from minecraft at least 10 separate times. he doesn't deserve this. he's just really been through the ringer and he really deserves this win.

i love your other guys. i do. except one or two of them but i don't want those guys anywhere near my blog so i'm not naming those fuckers. but for the most part i love like 90% of them and if it were up to me they'd all be given titles for their individual contributions to sexymandom.

but c'mon, y'all, it's herobrine minecraft. someone changed four pixels on the original steve skin and made a complete and utter legend and we can't just let that go unaccoladed forever.

[ID: an image of Herobrine's skin at a 3/4ths angle facing right. /End ID.]