Catnip

trinity who has slept with a beat up well loved teddy bear for as long as she can remember. he’s had multiple ‘surgeries’ to patch him up where he’s worn thin and stuffing has begun to peek out. very inventively named ‘ted’.

except she doesn’t want yolanda to see ted when they start hooking up, so ted goes in her nightstand and comes out on nights where she’s the only one in the bed

then her and yolanda fall into an actual relationship, the sort that when yolanda’s building has no water, trinity doesn’t think twice before chucking yolanda her apartment keys at the end of a shift, tells her she’ll meet her there once she’s all caught up with her own work

doesn’t really think much of it, they were supposed to be staying the night at yolanda’s but it is what it is. finally gets home herself and yolanda is already in bed, sat against the headboard reading a book. and trinity realises that she’d left ted out that morning, obviously not expecting her girlfriend to be staying over.

Anyway its like that meme “if i won the lottery i wouldnt tell anyone but there would be signs.” He starts paying off his and trinitys student loans, starts buying nicer things for the apartment. Trinity nearly holds an intervention for him after he got her an $80+ record (idk record prices in us :/) for her birthday and she was like. “We cannot afford this!!! You cannot afford this!!” After the panic, Dennis tells her about the money, lies and says it was some relative or something - he wants to avoid even thinking about that stick ever again, and Trinity would probably think he was insane.

Dumb and dumber no. 1

Criston 'I will die for glory and your sister's pussy' Cole

and

Gwayne 'this trip is a fucking nightmare' Hightower

Dumb and dumber no. 2

Aemond 'mummy issues level EXTRA' Targaryen

and

Alys 'my best friends are dead people' Rivers

Dumb and dumber no. 3

Larys 'Westeros' best babysiter' Strong

and

Aegon 'last brain cell fighting for second place' Targaryen

newly joined by

Tyland 'that pirate life ain't for me' Lannister

Dumb and dumber no. 4

Alicent 'never made a good decision in my life' Hightower

and

Helaena 'my mother is insane' Targaryen

accompanied by

Mysaria 'Daemon is ruining my yuri' The White Worm

And of course then we have:

The romance subplot delivered by Baela 'my stepmother probably hates me now' Targaryen and Adam 'Seasmoke's pet human' of Hull

The detective subplot presented by Daemon 'how did I become the only sane person here?' Targaryen and Rhaenyra 'I'm not made for this 9 to 5' Targaryen

All this written, directed and produced by none other than Ormund 'anger issues are scared of me' Hightower.