Catholic Memoirs

To my Dear Brother,

Our parents are visiting my home this weekend. They are leaving today.

Please pray for me. I'm hiding in my room because I cannot stop crying from the anger and wrath I feel when my children disobey me.

I keep wondering why God placed such hardship on my life. As we were talking about the seeming patterns of autism in our family (which is now very apparent that many of us may be, what with the high intelligence and terrible tempers) following my AuDHD diagnosis, Mom told me she remembered I didn't talk until I was 2 (another possible sign of autism).

I wondered if that was in part due to being born prematurely by 2 months. My therapist said at birth premature children already live their life fighting for survival. And then the decade of trauma I endured and hid during my childhood. It is all haunting me now as a mother. I feel so much rage and helplessness. I just want to be the kind, loving and patient mother that I see everyone else as, but I can't even simply be kind because I never knew kindness growing up from the people who cared for me and from myself, I learned to be cruel and hard to myself because of that.

Why does God cause his children to suffer if he loves us so much?

And here I am unable to be with my children.

Your youngest nephew just turned 3. He reminds me of you with his sparkling eyes and never-ending smiles. He ran to my room because he heard me sneezing. He pulled a tissue out for me and gave it to me because he saw me crying and he gave me a hug. Then he ran off to play. It's time like these when a child's kindness - this child God blessed me with - makes me feel so undeserving of God's love. Because why me? Where my life in recent years since your passing has been so good, but somehow darkness tries to take it all away.

I need to be strong. I need help. I need your prayers. Pray for me as I live through these daily crosses and hardships that God places on me. Perhaps he allowed all this to happen to me because he knows I can handle it. But I'm at a point where I'm starting to lose hope more often than I can handle.

May you be with the angels and saints, along with my children's godfather who passed away last week. I know God is outside of time and space, so it may be that you and their godfather are already in Heaven since we cannot compare time on Earth as they are not the same.

This is the beginning of letters written to the cloud of witnesses. 

To my Dear Brother, 

It's been 10 years since you've left this world, and I'm sorry I never wrote sooner, but I always wished to. And if eternity is beyond time and space, then now is no better a time to. Let this be my act of mercy for you as my duty as your sister. 

I write to you before I rest for the day. My mind is heavy with a headache and my days have been a whirlwind of wandering and uncertainty because of work. What you're missing out, by the grace of God, is a revolution that your dear sister (and brother-in-law) are battling in the front lines for - AI. It is both startling and fascinating and for me to be a singular woman working in technology (and a mother!) is so uncommon, but I wish to shine a light through it all with our faith. 

This wandering and uncertainty brought my heart back to you and where your soul may be. Although we may never get answers on this side of Heaven, I hope in our God that your soul someday rests with Him. Only He will know your fate. I have but only to leave my trust in Him. You were baptized in His Church and wherever your life took you while we were apart and lost in the wiles of this earth, you will always be His. I know that in my heart. 

My husband has been sick with the stomach flu this week so I have been watching your nephews more often. They're both growing so quickly and learning. I fear that if I blink I might miss so much. But with how quickly the world moves now, it feels even while our eyes are open, we can still miss so much. 

I have been very tired that I've missed praying Compline many nights this week, but I will pray Compline in your honor. I will never stop praying that your soul rests with God someday, of that I promise you as your sister who truly and dearly loves you.

Your stories need to be heard and known.

Listen to my love letter to you & my story of my upbringing in a family of Catholic working moms.

📽️ Watch on YouTube

New video here ✨ Sincerely, A Catholic Working Mom

Saint Bonaventure, a Franciscan theologian and Doctor of the Church, writes

I recently met with my priest for spiritual guidance. With this being my third meeting, I knew I needed to better prepare to get the most out of spiritual direction. ✨ Video here.

I've recently learned about spiritual attacks and it was an eye opener the more I learned about it. But also something to be cautious about. It seems the more we know, the more carefully we have to tread to stay on the right path of sainthood.

Have you had spiritual attacks? Were you ever taught about them growing up? I'm so curious because it's something that I never learned about after taking CCD from elementary through high school.

I'm sure I'm not the only one.

Part 2 of Catholicism & AI ✨ watch here

I was recommended a video by someone on YouTube of a homily they were deeply inspired by from Pope Leo XIV. A few seconds into watching the video, I immediately noticed red flags and started to question if it was made by AI.

I wanted to share practical tips on spotting AI-generated videos, what we can do to help and also prayers that we can pray to fight the spiritual battle, especially pray for people who have fallen for and - in the worst case - believed the videos were real.

The more we know, the more we can help each other.

☢️ Warning Signs ☢️

1. No face accounts

2. No check mark on YouTube name

3. Not from a reputable Catholic company or news/radio service

4. No links to official Catholic websites

5. No links or references to where the homily or audio clip came from

6. Creation date of the YouTube channel is very recent - especially for Pope Leo XIV, created at or after the time of his papacy in April 2025

7. YouTube channel mentions the videos are "inspired"

There are so many AI-generated accounts now that are pretending to be our church leaders and priests and we must be careful not to follow, subscribe or even click on their videos.

They are false. They are not real. They are not to be believed. They are in it for making money - from views, shares and any interaction we give to them.

What the AI generated content creators are doing is sending videos and audio clips of their talks and sermons and the AI copies their words, their manner of speech and creates an audio clip and video with captions to sound just like them.

What will happen if you do accidentally click their videos or shorts? YouTube will start recommending you similar videos of more accounts just like them and then your feed will eventually be flooded with them the more you watch.

I've seen several copying Pope Leo XIV and Bishop Robert Barron. We must band together to stop this because hundreds and thousands of people are watching these videos and believing them.

Please, we must report and try to get these accounts banned. Here's what we can do on YouTube:

1. Report the Account - On the user account page, click "More" on their profile description & on the very bottom, click the "🚩 Report User" button

2. Report Videos - On any AI-generated videos, click the "🚩 Report" button and report the account

3. Email the links to the false accounts and videos to the true Bishop

False Accounts that we must stop:

1. noblespirit-se / Noble Spirit - Pope Leo XIV impersonation

2. Grace Vision - Bishop Robert Barron impersonation

3. The Faith Journey - Bishop Robert Barron impersonation

Reputable Catholic YouTube media Accounts:

1. EWTN - For Pope Leo XIV live broadcasts

2. Word On Fire - Bishop Robert Barron

3. Ascension Press - Father Mike Schmidtz

4. Sundays With Ascension - Father Mike Schmidtz

I will post a video very soon on this to show you how to combat this and how to uphold our faith. Until then, take care, pray the Leonine Prayers & God bless. 🙏

I get this a lot, especially when I speak out about being a Catholic mom working as a software engineer.

It brings a lot of shame for someone who's trying to make the best means for her family. Parents are usually always doing the best they can.

From a Catholic Mom Calm coaching call, she asks us to contemplate whether we're truly sinning since she mentions shame is sometimes tied to sin. Otherwise, consider if the feelings of shame are self-indulgent. In the end it comes down to talking and discerning with God. Of which, I've done and every time my heart gets strengthened that the path I fight and live for is what He's asked of me.

While I do agree with the person's sentiment, it's hard not to feel shame when it subliminally hints that living as a Catholic working mom is not "normal".

Never mind that I am only in the office two days a week for around 4-6 hours a day and I come home most times by the time my oldest son is home from Catholic school so that I can tend to him and play with him. And then most nights after the kids are asleep, I stay up late to finish up work unless I'm really tired and catching up on sleep.

There are saints who were moms and worked. Why is it we need to get unsolicited advice from people who mean well? And now I feel bad for getting upset over someone's unsolicited advice.

I wonder - are you a female Catholic who thinks you may end up working too?