Runaway

know, when they tell you to put your seatbelt on, they

make sure you dress warm cause it got cold outside,

when they make sure you finished your papers, they

remember your favorite ice cream flavors, they take

you for night drives and snacks when you're sad even

tho you pretended you don't wanna go etc. All of

*holding your hand and guiding you

through a crowd* *recommending

books* *making playlist* *bookstore

date* *resting on your shoulder when

you tried your best' it doesn't mean "the best

you could possibly have done ever' it

means "the best you were capable of at the

time.' Sometimes "trying your best' is just

getting out of bed in the morning. Just because

you weren't working yourself to the bone

"Would've been more fun if you were here

'" or

"I wish you were here so we could do this and

this". It shows that you kinda matter to them to

certain degrees, that your existence matters.

They mean that your mere presence could have

a difference. And what's so subtle yet beautiful

like not how the world actually looks, but how it

feels- and in all the good ways

the warm buttered toast of early mornings, the

sheated heavy rain of grey days, the huge welling

tears of grief and the electric anger that raises your

whole head of hair

so I fell in love with you. You're a

creature of the dark. I'm a creation

of the dark. We taste of the same

grief, the same love. Speak to me in

tongue. I've never spoken to god.

but your name tastes holy in my

mouth. I'll hold you until I taste

god in my mouth. I'll hold you

until the scripts of our souls become

beautiful. i don't think they're tiger stripes or

natural tattoos. i don't think my acne is

beautiful. i don't think the bags under my eyes

are beautiful. i just think they're human. and i

don't think i have to be beautiful all of the time

in order to be accepted and loved and

sucessful. i don't think every small detail of my

outer appearence needs to be translated into

stop pouring. Why do I fear becoming a

you fight with. The house you buy

is the house you repair. The dream

job you take is the job you stress

over. Everything comes with an

inherent sacrifice -whatever makes

us feel good will also inevitably

make us feel bad. What we gain is

also what we lose. What creates our

positive experiences will define our

romanticize everything, and appreciate art

and literature and architecture and aesthetic

appeal, and take candid photos of each

other and go on picnics and walks in the

wood and appreciate each others music and

value kindness and peace. friends who care

about me the way i care about them. maybe

heavy ache and a long drive home. what if I never

completely shake the cold, never clear the frost

from the inside of my chest. i have been this way

for so long I forget what it's like on the other side

of it- sunshine and holy grail. lemonade and girls

made of honey. i want to love someone without

all the blood getting in the way. i want to let it go

without mourning the emptiness left behind. i

want someone to cry to i want someone to cry to i

we're not going to be in love but I'd like it if we

were. easy sundays and mondays that roll off

your tongue. sugar pancakes and burnt coffee. i

wanted to kiss you that first day, now I'd settle

for holding your hand. now I'd settle for a glance

your way on the walk home. we're not going to

be in love but couldn't we pretend for the week?

I'll tuck you in before I go, shut the lights off

without a word. i would have done anything you

asked, all those months ago. you wouldn't even