Ashe

Hello, my name is Nadin. I’m from Gaza. I’m a graphic design graduate, a wife—and now, a mother.

I finished my design studies just before the war began. I had dreams of starting a small studio, of creating art that told stories. I used to think about colors and fonts and the future.

Then, the war came. And the future became something we tried to hold onto, moment by moment.

On October 22, 2023, I learned I was pregnant when a missile destroyed my husband’s family home, killing 25 members—his mother, siblings, nieces and nephews—entire branches of our family in seconds.

We were displaced twice. Everything was gone—home, safety, routine, rest.

A few weeks later, I gave birth to our daughter. There was no crib, no celebration—not even stillness. But she arrived, quietly and beautifully. In her eyes I saw something I hadn’t felt in weeks: life that still wanted to grow.

Now, our days are shaped by decisions that could dismantle the future we are trying to build together.

Today, Israel’s government is discussing plans for a full military occupation of the Gaza Strip, including Gaza City and southern regions. The stated aim: to eliminate Hamas and later hand governing control to allied Arab forces—not Israel—but with no clear path to peace or normalcy.

The humanitarian fallout is devastating. More than 61,000 Palestinians have died in this war; hunger and malnutrition are rising sharply. Hospitals in north Gaza have shut down, and 193 people have now died of starvation, nearly half of them children.

Aid remains blocked, water is scarce, and many risk dying of hunger or disease long before future promises arrive.

We Don’t Know What Comes Next There’s no clear path forward—only uncertainty for our daughter’s life and our ability to survive another day.

How You Can Help I’m asking for support—not for comfort, but for survival:

Help us meet basic needs so we can breathe, heal, and preserve a world for our daughter.

Support us as I try to stand again on my own feet—even a glimmer of stability matters.

whenever you look at the back of your right hand, you might get an odd feeling that you want to lick it just once. you might not do it, it's just that you get that odd feeling, like you used to or sometimes you -- like a flashback to being a cat, that's kind of what it is, somehow you were a cat and -- you would lick your paw, worried or purring, staring at somecat you didn't like, or you did -- and that's what would happen, you would notice the back of your paw and lick it like that. and now that's what it's like, you...sometimes see it, the back of your hand, and it's just...like a distant memory of that. licking it was somehow the thing you did, when you didn't quite know what else to.

I get asks like this a lot, usually 3-4 whenever I reblog that post. And I usually don't answer them, because I'm never perfectly confident with my answer. Mostly because while I try to maintain a solid theoretical understanding of this all, I'm broadly on the 'tist side.

So, in addition to what I have to say below (or in refutation of it, if you disagree), I'd greatly appreciate if experienced hypnotees could give their own suggestions in the replies and the reblogs.

Anyway, the first thing that comes to mind is, of course, the Carleton Skills Training Package. If you read any hypno theory, you're pretty likely to see it mentioned, and while as with all psychology it's somewhat dubious and its ultimate goals are different from ours, it's still a starting place and a starting place that has a pretty good history. A few papers I've genuinely liked mention it positively.

Then, more broadly, I think that 'practice' is the most correct answer. If you've found hypnosis files or hypnotists that "work" for you, experience them over and over. Get used to what that feels like, and let the capability develop in your brain.

Currently, I'm generally a fan of the 'cold control' model of hypnosis, which understands the effects of hypnosis as essentially "actions and behaviors where the subject is not mindful of their intentions". That is to say, it separates "doing something" from "being aware you're doing something" from "being aware you intend to do something", and presents hypnosis as a way of having subjects do things that they are not aware they have an intention to do.

That is to say, "you" are doing things, but you are not "aware that you intended to do them". So, complex actions appear non-volitional.

This broadly implies that before you can experience hypnosis, you must first be willing to do the prescribed actions. Towards that end, you should practice simply going along with it. Practice turning off the voice in your head that rationalizes everything and tells you not to do things. Mime it out, let yourself follow along volitionally.

And, the goal here is to let yourself become less aware of your own intentionality, so, as you follow along, focus on other details. Try to distract the part of your brain that fixates on intent and choice and what you want to do, while still following along and obeying.

Try to engage with the imaginative suggestions uncritically, which may be hard. Trying simpler ones first may be easier, and gradually building your way up. Perform the actions they imply, in any case, and let that be a starting point.

This may feel a bit like juggling, or be very difficult for you, or feel anathema somehow. If you have an ego belief in your own un-hypnotizability, you know better than I how to work through it.

A lot of people view absorption as a result of hypnosis, and expect to have their mind magically pulled in as the effects take hold. I don't find it impossible to work with such an expectation, but it's still fundamentally backwards. Absorption is what enables the thing we call hypnosis, not the other way around.

At its simplest, increasing my ability to get absorbed meant increasing my baseline level of comfort. Think things like having a private space where I could be assured nobody was going to interrupt me, feeling like I could trust whoever or whatever was hypnotizing me, not having anything time-sensitive coming up, etcetera.

(All of this is often framed as 'reducing distractions', which I think creates a weird pressure to eliminate all possible outside stimuli. It's fine if a passing sound grabs your attention for a second - the problem with a buzzing phone or knock on the door is that they are calls to action.)

As a more targeted exercise: just focus on something. Start with a semi-engaging focus, like white noise, a ticking clock, or a candle, and just try to experience it at the exclusion of everything else. Don't worry about 'becoming hypnotized' or 'going into trance', because such concerns are irrelevant to what you're doing here. Just let the stimulus monopolize your attention as well as you can, and take note of how that feels.

You can time how long it takes before you look away, get really bored, or become distracted by your thoughts, and then practice more to try and increase that time. At some point you can try and focus on less inherently interesting things, like random objects an arm's length away, or your own body's physical sensations. Switching between internal and external foci is a helpful skill to practice as well.

so yeah, the moment before you drop is what imagine being in, when i'm looking at spirals to find a few that are really excellent. and so as you can imagine, that makes looking at different spirals an intense experience, if i'm trying to imagine being in the moment before trance every time.

this is something i call live writing. i just write like i'm talking. i don't go back and change anything. it's almost better than talking, because i can click off to look for things like spirals, and then come back and keep talking uninterrupted. that is, to you, you don't know i wasn't here typing straight through. if i recorded this, there would be gaps i would have to edit out. this way it's straight through to begin with. and what's important is that i can type really, really fast. when i was paid by the word for a little while, i could make 100 wpm. talking itself is only about 150 wpm. so i can basically type as fast as someone talking at a deliberate pace. like a lot of hypnotists happen to do.

i'm a little hesitant to get in message conversations with people because i think i can be a little scary. i type so fast that it seems like you must be talking to one or another of them ai machines. but no, it's just me. i don't feel like that many people have been seriously accused of being a robot outside of sci fi yet, so it's an interesting experience. asimov prepared me well for life in surprisingly practical terms it seems. anyway. that's hardly related.

now what i would like to do is to go and look for spirals like i said i would. and when i do find some that i like, which may take quite a while, i will put the first one here below the "read more." so when you click "read more," you actually won't read anything, because the first thing you hear will be a spiral. um, the first thing you see. although i kind of do feel almost a humming sound behind my eyes from staring really deeply into a spiral that gets me in the way i talked about. anyway! when you click "read more," you will see a spiral.

when you see that spiral, i want you to stare at it and count inside yourself to 25. i want you to breathe with each number that you count, counting slow enough that you have to breathe in and out between each number. and on each number, i want you to imagine the shape of that number visually -- that number printed on a page, or on a poster, or on a flashing screen in front of you. and i want you to add as much detail as you can to that page or that screen. imagine the number is red and the background is blue, for example. and imagine as much motion as you can -- that the colors of the number are flipping back and forth, red to blue and blue to red, or that the number is spinning, or vibrating back and forth -- when you breathe in the first time, saying 1 to yourself in your head, imagine that number written on a page or on a screen, with as much detail and motion and vibration as you can, and as you breathe in deeper and deeper, keeping that number 1 in your mind, flashing, vibrating, red, blue, red, purple, blue, you notice more details the longer it's there. you notice more details the more you think to look for. as you breathe all the way in, and start to go over to letting that breath out, if you look to see if it's vibrating, you will see that it's vibrating. if you look to see if it's spinning, you will see that it's spinning. if you look to see what colors it's flashing faster and faster, you'll notice more and more colors in between as it flashes faster and faster. and as you breathe out, as you breathe allllll the way out, there might be so much motion and flashing and spinning around with that 1 in your mind that it's almost overwhelming, as if there's nowhere you can look that doesn't start vibrating and flashing, and it's suddenly calm again as soon as you say 2. and you start slowly breathing in again. picturing that number 2 on a page or on a screen, just there. and then slowly, as you breathe further in, and further in, as slow as you can, you notice those details, motion, flashing start to come back, and then flood back, and you might lose track of yourself for a second and only notice when you end up at 3, realizing you didn't even notice when you started to breathe out.

that's a lot to think about, i think. you can certainly read it all again if you'd like to make sure you have it straight. however, you don't have to -- the excellent part of this is, you just have to have the idea. you'll stare at the spiral, counting to 25 and breathing in and out with each number, as slowly as you can, and while you're staring at the spiral, try your hardest to imagine the number you're on, written on a page or on a screen, just there. then you can just pay attention to the details of that number until you breathe all the way out and say the next number to yourself.

it's challenging to imagine numbers like this while staring at the center of a spiral also. it's a really interesting experience to have your eyes active with part of your attention while you also try to see something inside yourself. some people experience their eyes getting heavy as soon as they try to picture the number 1, and if you feel that, it's likely your eyes will get heavier with each number. you might either notice or not notice -- you might get to 25 and realize your eyes have been all the way closed for at least a few numbers, or you might notice them closing but the heaviness is too much to resist while you're also trying to count, breathe and notice the details of the numbers. these details can get really interesting -- you can even try imagining running your finger up the long, straight edge of a big number 1, made of hard steel, then around the tip and down to the base. you can imagine throwing a giant, heavy number 2 in a pool where it makes a huge splash. it's up to you really. some people, also, rather than having their eyes get heavy, they have them roll back, and likewise they might notice as it starts to happen, or they might only realize once they get to 25 that their eyes had been rolling. some people have both happen -- especially people who just read me describe both having your eyes get heavy as you count and having them roll back. you might imagine now that neither will happen to you -- that you can count to 25, noticing the details of each digit as you breathe, and stare at the center of the spiral the whole time, without your eyes getting heavier or starting to roll back if your attention slips. you might also imagine, though. if your attention did slip for a second, whether you'd be more likely to feel your eyes getting heavy or more likely to notice them starting to roll back, or if you're someone who, having read all these ideas, which could be called pre-hypnotic suggestions, might because of that feel both things, and only notice when they count 25 that their eyes are closed and rolled back. so what you can do is, when you're looking at the spiral, & you start to count & you start to notice the details of each number as you breathe, try to notice if any of these things happen. and to have even more to think about, try to notice the part of you that notices. what that means is, try to look for which part of yourself actually feels the sensation of noticing something. it's not quite the regular conscious awareness, is it, if you think about it? things you notice seem to hit you instantly, all there at once, like a realization.

paying attention to how you notice things is important, because there is another thing that can happen -- whether you think your eyes might get heavy or you think they would be more likely to start to roll back if your attention slipped from the spiral, that is only one of the ways that your attention can slip. that's your attention slipping away from your active vision, so you're just counting and breathing and imagining & noticing the details of the digits -- your attention can also slip away from counting, if you stare deeply enough into the spiral, or if you've watched one too many "spirals instantly hypnotize you" hypnosis files. then you might just be there staring at the spiral, and you might not notice for a little while that you forgot to keep counting. you might even get "stuck" on the last number that you remembered to count, picturing that number still there in your mind as you breathe in, and out, and in again, the details getting even more intense than they were, incredibly & i might think overpoweringly intense, because the number is just staying there on the page or the screen in your mind, not blinking over to a new number so that noticing the details starts all over again. you're just on that same number and the details keep getting more and more intricate, and everywhere you look inside your mind there are more details to notice. even if you look up or look down and look away from the number you're on, the background itself is swirling with colors and if you look close enough those colors are vibrating and swirling faster and faster the longer you look. if it gets so overwhelming you have to keep looking somewhere else faster and faster, and in just a few moments all you can do is keep looking somewhere new and then the details get too intense to look at in just a few seconds or even a few moments, and you have to look somewhere else again, and again, and again, you can realize that you are hypnotized. if you happen to get stuck on a number -- or you're too curious & you stop counting on purpose to see what happens -- it might take only a few seconds for you to realize you're deeply hypnotized.

and realizing you're hypnotized is an interesting thing. you feel like you've actually woken up from it a little bit. you can notice how your body feels different & test yourself. can you really not open your eyes? are my eyes really rolled back that hard just from imagining these numbers? how is it possible to imagine this much detail in something, changing so fast? is this what an acid trip feels like? how do i stop this? can i get to the next number? what number was next? what number was i on?

here is what you need to do if you forget which number you're on. this is important to remember, because otherwise you might just sit there staring, and if you started over at 1, you might end up in a bit of a loop, losing track somewhere again until you remember to start over. and you can start over if you really like. you can also do this, though -- just check, mentally, if your eyelids are closed, and your eyes are rolled back. if those things are true, then you can simply realize that you're hypnotized deeply already.

so, to repeat myself, because it's very important -- if you realize you've forgotten which number is next, you can simply realize that you are hypnotized.

when you realize that you are hypnotized, i want you to try to open your eyes. if they're too heavy, you can simply think to yourself, "25," and they'll spark right open. and if you get to 25 without losing count, that's what will happen too -- whether your eyes are open or closed, you'll feel a sort of sharp spark at "25" and pay close attention to the first word that comes after the spiral.

that's a lot to read, but really it's simple: click "read more," look at the center of the spiral, count slowly enough to breathe between each number, imagine each number on a page or screen with intricate, moving, vibrating, strobing details everywhere you look, and notice if your eyes start to feel heavy to start to roll back. 25 will spark your eyes right open, and you'll pay close & intense attention to the first word written after the spiral. if you realize you forgot what number is next, just right away think "25" and your eyes will spark open so you can focus intently on the first word written after the spiral.

ok! with all that written, i'm going to go look at spirals, then i'll come back and put it here & then i'll put a "read more" for you to click so you can see it. and focus. and start with 1. and breathe in. and so forth. see you in a minute. or two hours.

ok! i found one that i like. click if you dare @_@

I am stealing this, mew

This was a lot, I feel like too many words to read as I got entirely unfocused throughout, but this might work for writing inductions

I love hypnosis, because I have issues with thinking too much and typically going under makes me not think as much, for at least a small period of time. And one of my favorite types of hypnosises (Hypnosisis? Whatever the plural of Hypnosis is I guess) are story based ones.

Inductions that doesn't just bring you under, call you a good pet, give you a trigger and bring you back up, but one that describes a full on scenario, like a book from a story.

I remember one in particular about you being lost in a forest when it starts to rain heavily. To the point in which you need shelter. After traveling far enough, you encounter a Cave. Desperate, you enter

And you go deeper

And Deeper

And Deeper

You are lulled downwards, as if something is pulling you closer and closer to the bottom

Until you make it to your destination: a Dragon's Hoard (with a dragon accompanying it)

And instead of the dragon just killing you for invading it's home, it recognizes your situation and allows you to sleep in a bed for the night because you certainly aren't planning on killing it and or Stealing it's hoard.

Of course, he doesn't want you returning, it is his home and if you tell anybody it would prove to be an annoyance. So the dragon Hypnotises you, makes you forget you were even down there, and when you awake you are... Somewhere else. IDK after you fall asleep you are meant to have actually fallen asleep, and if you aren't the scenario ended anyways meow.

But still

so yeah, the moment before you drop is what imagine being in, when i'm looking at spirals to find a few that are really excellent. and so as you can imagine, that makes looking at different spirals an intense experience, if i'm trying to imagine being in the moment before trance every time.

this is something i call live writing. i just write like i'm talking. i don't go back and change anything. it's almost better than talking, because i can click off to look for things like spirals, and then come back and keep talking uninterrupted. that is, to you, you don't know i wasn't here typing straight through. if i recorded this, there would be gaps i would have to edit out. this way it's straight through to begin with. and what's important is that i can type really, really fast. when i was paid by the word for a little while, i could make 100 wpm. talking itself is only about 150 wpm. so i can basically type as fast as someone talking at a deliberate pace. like a lot of hypnotists happen to do.

i'm a little hesitant to get in message conversations with people because i think i can be a little scary. i type so fast that it seems like you must be talking to one or another of them ai machines. but no, it's just me. i don't feel like that many people have been seriously accused of being a robot outside of sci fi yet, so it's an interesting experience. asimov prepared me well for life in surprisingly practical terms it seems. anyway. that's hardly related.

now what i would like to do is to go and look for spirals like i said i would. and when i do find some that i like, which may take quite a while, i will put the first one here below the "read more." so when you click "read more," you actually won't read anything, because the first thing you hear will be a spiral. um, the first thing you see. although i kind of do feel almost a humming sound behind my eyes from staring really deeply into a spiral that gets me in the way i talked about. anyway! when you click "read more," you will see a spiral.

when you see that spiral, i want you to stare at it and count inside yourself to 25. i want you to breathe with each number that you count, counting slow enough that you have to breathe in and out between each number. and on each number, i want you to imagine the shape of that number visually -- that number printed on a page, or on a poster, or on a flashing screen in front of you. and i want you to add as much detail as you can to that page or that screen. imagine the number is red and the background is blue, for example. and imagine as much motion as you can -- that the colors of the number are flipping back and forth, red to blue and blue to red, or that the number is spinning, or vibrating back and forth -- when you breathe in the first time, saying 1 to yourself in your head, imagine that number written on a page or on a screen, with as much detail and motion and vibration as you can, and as you breathe in deeper and deeper, keeping that number 1 in your mind, flashing, vibrating, red, blue, red, purple, blue, you notice more details the longer it's there. you notice more details the more you think to look for. as you breathe all the way in, and start to go over to letting that breath out, if you look to see if it's vibrating, you will see that it's vibrating. if you look to see if it's spinning, you will see that it's spinning. if you look to see what colors it's flashing faster and faster, you'll notice more and more colors in between as it flashes faster and faster. and as you breathe out, as you breathe allllll the way out, there might be so much motion and flashing and spinning around with that 1 in your mind that it's almost overwhelming, as if there's nowhere you can look that doesn't start vibrating and flashing, and it's suddenly calm again as soon as you say 2. and you start slowly breathing in again. picturing that number 2 on a page or on a screen, just there. and then slowly, as you breathe further in, and further in, as slow as you can, you notice those details, motion, flashing start to come back, and then flood back, and you might lose track of yourself for a second and only notice when you end up at 3, realizing you didn't even notice when you started to breathe out.

that's a lot to think about, i think. you can certainly read it all again if you'd like to make sure you have it straight. however, you don't have to -- the excellent part of this is, you just have to have the idea. you'll stare at the spiral, counting to 25 and breathing in and out with each number, as slowly as you can, and while you're staring at the spiral, try your hardest to imagine the number you're on, written on a page or on a screen, just there. then you can just pay attention to the details of that number until you breathe all the way out and say the next number to yourself.

it's challenging to imagine numbers like this while staring at the center of a spiral also. it's a really interesting experience to have your eyes active with part of your attention while you also try to see something inside yourself. some people experience their eyes getting heavy as soon as they try to picture the number 1, and if you feel that, it's likely your eyes will get heavier with each number. you might either notice or not notice -- you might get to 25 and realize your eyes have been all the way closed for at least a few numbers, or you might notice them closing but the heaviness is too much to resist while you're also trying to count, breathe and notice the details of the numbers. these details can get really interesting -- you can even try imagining running your finger up the long, straight edge of a big number 1, made of hard steel, then around the tip and down to the base. you can imagine throwing a giant, heavy number 2 in a pool where it makes a huge splash. it's up to you really. some people, also, rather than having their eyes get heavy, they have them roll back, and likewise they might notice as it starts to happen, or they might only realize once they get to 25 that their eyes had been rolling. some people have both happen -- especially people who just read me describe both having your eyes get heavy as you count and having them roll back. you might imagine now that neither will happen to you -- that you can count to 25, noticing the details of each digit as you breathe, and stare at the center of the spiral the whole time, without your eyes getting heavier or starting to roll back if your attention slips. you might also imagine, though. if your attention did slip for a second, whether you'd be more likely to feel your eyes getting heavy or more likely to notice them starting to roll back, or if you're someone who, having read all these ideas, which could be called pre-hypnotic suggestions, might because of that feel both things, and only notice when they count 25 that their eyes are closed and rolled back. so what you can do is, when you're looking at the spiral, & you start to count & you start to notice the details of each number as you breathe, try to notice if any of these things happen. and to have even more to think about, try to notice the part of you that notices. what that means is, try to look for which part of yourself actually feels the sensation of noticing something. it's not quite the regular conscious awareness, is it, if you think about it? things you notice seem to hit you instantly, all there at once, like a realization.

paying attention to how you notice things is important, because there is another thing that can happen -- whether you think your eyes might get heavy or you think they would be more likely to start to roll back if your attention slipped from the spiral, that is only one of the ways that your attention can slip. that's your attention slipping away from your active vision, so you're just counting and breathing and imagining & noticing the details of the digits -- your attention can also slip away from counting, if you stare deeply enough into the spiral, or if you've watched one too many "spirals instantly hypnotize you" hypnosis files. then you might just be there staring at the spiral, and you might not notice for a little while that you forgot to keep counting. you might even get "stuck" on the last number that you remembered to count, picturing that number still there in your mind as you breathe in, and out, and in again, the details getting even more intense than they were, incredibly & i might think overpoweringly intense, because the number is just staying there on the page or the screen in your mind, not blinking over to a new number so that noticing the details starts all over again. you're just on that same number and the details keep getting more and more intricate, and everywhere you look inside your mind there are more details to notice. even if you look up or look down and look away from the number you're on, the background itself is swirling with colors and if you look close enough those colors are vibrating and swirling faster and faster the longer you look. if it gets so overwhelming you have to keep looking somewhere else faster and faster, and in just a few moments all you can do is keep looking somewhere new and then the details get too intense to look at in just a few seconds or even a few moments, and you have to look somewhere else again, and again, and again, you can realize that you are hypnotized. if you happen to get stuck on a number -- or you're too curious & you stop counting on purpose to see what happens -- it might take only a few seconds for you to realize you're deeply hypnotized.

and realizing you're hypnotized is an interesting thing. you feel like you've actually woken up from it a little bit. you can notice how your body feels different & test yourself. can you really not open your eyes? are my eyes really rolled back that hard just from imagining these numbers? how is it possible to imagine this much detail in something, changing so fast? is this what an acid trip feels like? how do i stop this? can i get to the next number? what number was next? what number was i on?

here is what you need to do if you forget which number you're on. this is important to remember, because otherwise you might just sit there staring, and if you started over at 1, you might end up in a bit of a loop, losing track somewhere again until you remember to start over. and you can start over if you really like. you can also do this, though -- just check, mentally, if your eyelids are closed, and your eyes are rolled back. if those things are true, then you can simply realize that you're hypnotized deeply already.

so, to repeat myself, because it's very important -- if you realize you've forgotten which number is next, you can simply realize that you are hypnotized.

when you realize that you are hypnotized, i want you to try to open your eyes. if they're too heavy, you can simply think to yourself, "25," and they'll spark right open. and if you get to 25 without losing count, that's what will happen too -- whether your eyes are open or closed, you'll feel a sort of sharp spark at "25" and pay close attention to the first word that comes after the spiral.

that's a lot to read, but really it's simple: click "read more," look at the center of the spiral, count slowly enough to breathe between each number, imagine each number on a page or screen with intricate, moving, vibrating, strobing details everywhere you look, and notice if your eyes start to feel heavy to start to roll back. 25 will spark your eyes right open, and you'll pay close & intense attention to the first word written after the spiral. if you realize you forgot what number is next, just right away think "25" and your eyes will spark open so you can focus intently on the first word written after the spiral.

ok! with all that written, i'm going to go look at spirals, then i'll come back and put it here & then i'll put a "read more" for you to click so you can see it. and focus. and start with 1. and breathe in. and so forth. see you in a minute. or two hours.

ok! i found one that i like. click if you dare @_@

I am stealing this, mew

This was a lot, I feel like too many words to read as I got entirely unfocused throughout, but this might work for writing inductions

Solution: Make Cat Hypnosis. Be the change you want to see in the world, help people become cute kitties

This is the part where I use that as an excuse to ask for recommended Hypnotist's files to listen to, specifically kitten play ones (Generic works as well).

Because during the blackout is the perfect time to ask instead of the literal entire day where I was told that there might be a blackout

Well the power has returned to us in record time. I don't know how but it is.

I would still like some files however, that fact has not changed.

HE WOULD THO!

He'd be half way through dialing his assistant to bring him some of the spare sheets from his own bed to your apartment, lord knows he's not getting off your bed till they get here, huffs as he rolls off and taps his foot as he watches this assistant change your sheets.

Tells them to bring two more sets bought fresh in two other colours, and a full set in black, shooing them out of the apartment before flopping onto the much better sheets.

A guardian angel that can't understand why they have to keep you of all humans safe, manifesting physically to force you to dye/bleach your hair the same bone white their wings are, ignoring the flicker of a crack in the halo as they hold your face in one large hand, squishing your cheeks as they make you watch for the full development time how your hair changes.

Cooing and warbling with something like the sin of pride as they wash the stuff from your hair, condescension dripping from their words as you sputter and cry asking them why they are doing this.

Oh my god bro LISTEN TO YOURSELF. The chair is uncomfortable? You don't like looking at the screen? You're begging for comms on main because you don't want to write in the living room? Champagne problems. You want us to feel bad for you but all you're doing is whining. Some fic writers on here will put out 10k - 12k pieces on their phones. Just because you can't figure out a way to do it more efficiently doesn't mean it's impossible or difficult. Loser.