I seriously cannot stand one more person telling me that A) I knew what I was getting into B) I'm exaggerating and things aren't as bad as I'm making them out to be Whenever I start to complain about hairschool. Now, here's a fun tidbit of information for you Unless you have actually been to hairschool (and that means attend, not go there frequently for cheap haircuts) you have no fucking clue how bad it can actually be. Example: take the worst, most immature moment against you durimg high school. Times that feeling by a million. Add in the fact that most of the people pulling this shit are 25+ and you have a vague idea what it is to deal with hairschool. But not really. And yes, I'm being a special little snowflake and being just as mature by posting this. I also know that my problems are not the biggest thing in the world right now. I'm aware. This is my vent zone. I've gotten to the point where I need to vent really bad. Now, I'm a bit of a different case when it comes to dealing with this bullshittery. I'm a transmale. I am not out in my school. This means that I am in a place that obsesses over your looks and am told constantly that I look wrong and need to improve myself. I'm told that I look too boyish and have actually been told to stop wearing a dress shirt and tie to school. I'm also constantly being harassed by a gang of 30+ year olds, and told by the closest things I have to friends that my problems at home aren't as bad as their relationship problems. This has lead me to become more quiet and selective to what I say. The only other time I was this bad was when I tried to kill myself in grade seven. Which is kind of happening again. Goody. I am pumping 9 and a half hour days, I don't take any sort of break during that time. No lunch break, no coffee break. I also have to take all of the peoples clients who complain about being tired. When I get home, I would just like to say that I had a shit day instead of hearing about how it's not that bad, and that your 7 and a half day, not including the millions of breaks you took, was probably worse because you had to deal with your stupid coworkers. How about having to create a whole new persona just to survive 10 months in a fucking place. That gets pretty wearing. How about having to force a goddamn smile and lie about everything you feel constantly. That takes a toll And how about having to play the parent to two adults, one of which is actually your parent. That can tire a person out fairly quick. And how about having to force yourself everyday not to dive off a bridge, slice your wrists open, take a shit ton of pills, hang yourself, or any other fun way or killing yourself. Guess what. Most people I talk to aren't even aware of how much I want to die currently. No one is in fact. I've been having full blown anxiety and depression attacks plus mental break downs more frequently now then I ever have. That is why I complain about hair school. It is mentally destroying me. And everytime I try to talk about my fucking problems I am shut down before I even finish a goddamn sentence. If you've never experienced a place, you cannot tell someone it's not that bad. You don't know You don't really have any sort of validation to any statement. And I had no fucking clue what I was getting myself into. I fluked into hairschool. I didn't even want to go. I'm just sticking through with it because I don't want to waste $10mil. Seriously. Just everyone who has ever said that to me... shut up. You don't know what you are talking about. Maybe if you'd listen to me then I would have a reason to listen to you about hairschool. I'm done this rant.

Me: make me want to kill myself

6. Who did you first tell you were trans? A. My ex girlfriend/best friend. She's been awesome through this all

5. Are you active in the trans community or LGBT community? A. I'm not active at all. I've actually only started to try and figure out the community but the city I live in is very close minded so I didn't even fully understand LGBT things until high school. I wish I could be more active though

4. How did your familyvtake it when you came out/if you are not out why aren't you A. I'm getting really mixed signals on how my family's taken it. They all said that it didn't matter and that they don't care, but they'll correct me when I use my male pronouns and refuse to call me by anything male. Lately they've been making a point of referring to me as female. I think they think it's just a phase. I dunno, it is what it is I guess

3. Have you ever been outed A. Yes.