there must be a better place you could be doing that

his only cutting board is nailed to the floor in the turtle room

mario party minigame

@gayboomhauer

Bill Hodges dealing with Fred in Mr. Mercedes

I wish people were as scared of getting into a car accident as they are of being true crime'd. Maybe then they wouldn't be on their phones while driving.

True crime girlies will be like "wtf I would never go for a walk at night, what if the hash slinging slasher gets me" and then use their knees to merge with no turn signal in front of a semi while applying makeup with both hands

Kind of shit happening just down the beach from Roland and Eddie in Dark Tower Book 2.

if you're named some shit like cody it's been over for you for a long time

it sucks being an American because people from other countries will make fun of you for liking burger and you will try to be like NO! I EAT OTHER FOOD TOO! but you can't get the words out because you're too busy salivating over the idea of burger

hevan