the

everyone shut the fuck up i found a stardew valley mod that makes the in game dog look like my real dog

y-yes ma’am

Accused of drinkos pee pee “I like the taste”

lock. him. up.

i’m gatekeeping myself. nobody can know who i am

I trapped the soul of the last queerplatonic partner who broke my heart in a piccrew avatar made in their likeness. Placed it in an empty folder deep in my computer, where they reside to this day. 

yeah yeah “so true bestie” this “so true bestie” that can i suck your tits now

Inshallah they find him.

stop sucking my cock babe I have to complete my daily sudoku puzzle

american psycho memes being so prevalent on here is really funny because with all due respect if some of the people on tumblr actually watched it theyd have a heart attack

*shaking box of treats in front of a vhs player* hey followers pause your mcelroy podcast for a second i have a movie to show you… it’s a horror with political commentary… and it’s funny too… yes like jennifer’s body :) yep it’s directed by a woman too… the main character is kind of a sinnamon bun like loki….

*sees something cool on the internet* hmm *shows it to my wife* hey hon is this cool? i love you

*sees something uncool on the internet* uh oh! wouldnt want my lovely wife seeing this *smashes my computer*