ur local dummy

i don’t get it. i never blinked twice at peanut butter and i never really cared for it but now it’s become a fear food??? i see it an i go ape shit???? and i end up eating spoonful after spoonful??? what the fuck???

do you ever eat so much you can’t breathe bc same

when it’s only the afternoon and you’ve already ate 1400cals 🤡🤡🤡🤡

i was wanting to do a 3 day fast but couldn’t dodge my 8pm cravings but thankfully i hadn’t eaten all day and managed to keep what i ate under 1000kcals. i’m not gonna lie, it felt good so i think i’ll start doing the OMAD diet from now on. with more planning, of course, to keep my macros in check.

i feel like i’d have a much easier time losing weight if i had a weight loss buddy. at the same time, though, i’m really competitive and i’m worried that i’d just bring them down to unhealthy habits like mine. but a part of me just needs someone who understands what i’m going through.

aaaaaaaand another day of overeating :(. honestly i am partly to blame because i KNOW i shouldn’t be in the kitchen after 5pm. my urges to eat just get too strong and once i start i can’t stop. but if i don’t at least make a presence then i have to hear my mom bitch and complain about how “nobody helps clean in the house” and whatever the hell she wants to nit pick at. i have to learn to care less.

whenever i binge i sing this song about how much i hate myself so that’s where i am in this hellish existence.

i’ve been taking monthly pictures of my body and i’m always in a shitty mood when i do cause i realize that i make no improvement in my body. it’s been months now. what the fuck. what more do i have to do?

it’s not fair that i want to lose weight so fucking bad and have wanted to for a good 6 YEARS and it’s become so physically impossible for me to do that. it’s too easy for me to give in to my stupid brain telling me to eat and eat and eat. JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!! at this point i’m gonna need someone to hold me accountable for this bullshit. i’m just so tired. i hate eating. i really really REALLY hate eating.

i used to effortlessly restrict to 500-700 cals a day and now i can’t even eat less than 1200.... it feels like a failure somehow

going to bed hungry shouldn’t feel good but here i am..... going to bed hungry..... feelin good