Casual Thoughts

One, was a succesful father and son TikTok duo who were cohosting another popular female TikToker. Both had hundreds of thousands of followers. They received tens of thousands worth of TikTok coins on Live. Which equates to a few hundred to several hundred dollars. If not more.

Thats per live.

Then, as I scrolled, I came across these poor people. Also a father and son. They were from Pakistan. They had far fewer viewers. Their home showed more struggle. And they received much smaller gifts. The big level gifters passed.

Instead they got mocked by false generosity with comments like 1000usd send etc. Because somehow, if they'd believed it, people might be entertained and laugh at them.

It will.

I watched this person at a live music event. I felt in awe and envy at their energy. The way they moved so freely. Completely liberated as if they've never learned shame.

Meanwhile, I sit in a far corner with my arms crossed. That's how I've come to enjoy things. With stiffness and being withdrawn. Like a jaded man who is a decade older than me. Way past his prime and feeling left behind.

I saw a mother with her son. They were out together having fun. It was a convention for video games. She smiled as he played, even as he messed up and struggled on a racing simulator. I caught myself smile as well.

Then she sits at the side and waits. She has some bags with things they've bought through the day. She seems so patient and content watching him. I wonder to myself if she's a single parent like you were.

Either way, I thought - perhaps in another life, that could have been us. A life where you were already as steady and strong as you are now, where our weekends might have been filled with moments like these.

We no longer have crushes.

We don't hope as much.

We don't sit back and daydream.

Instead we scroll endlessly and see everything that's out there. Experiences that we can never replicate.

And we feel depressed and down because of oversaturated ideals we cannot live up to. We see beauty and we feel annoyance or resentment.

I didn't really respond, or if I did, I can't remember.

But the important takeaway is too many people stop laughing at silly things because they feel they need to be mature.

Laugh more often.