Danen the Trashling

sorry for being incredibly hot and sexy but i can't help it, im trans

Fanfic be like, "if you don't have your own gay little man, store bought is fine"

wizard: *uses ‘its magic’ to ‘cast spells’ and ‘potions’*

fuck you you cant cast a potion you idiot. amateur mistake

this fucking dipshit doesnt know how to cast a potion

on a spiritual level I am wildly and irresponsibly brandishing a knife as I gesture

*deep sigh* *takes off my cowboy hat and plops down into the dirt* *starts filling my cowboy hat with little rocks* feelings, hunh…

this post has already gotten far enough from my circle of mutuals that people think the girl with the glasses is the one that im sympathizing with in this post

i miss when ppl straight up lied on here. i’m gonna start doing it again. okay so yesterday i saw hannibal lecter in the target bathroom

Please don’t lie. We’ve got enough stupid bullshit going on in Washington, D.C. with the riots, we DO NOT need that useless idiocy here. Not now. I cannot believe people could be so cruel. This is not who we are, America. We are a proud and mighty nation. WE DO NOT NEED WAR. What we need is to start being the glorious, kind America we once were. Please, if you must protest, do it peacefully if you care about America at all.

this is a post about hannibal lecter

salt & vinegar chips are snacks for fucking masochists. literally the entire flavour of the goddamn chip is “acetic acid, which will hurt your tongue, and then just salt on top of that to hurt it worse”. it’s brutal. this chip is designed to hurt you

yeah and it kicks ass

hell yeah this chick fucking gets it

girl i can torment you with incomprehensible horrors

My dog at me when he throws up

i love when ppl who constantly use self deprecating humor interact with me, theyre never sure how to react. theyre like "lol well we all hate ourselves anyways" and im like "no, im sexy as hell actually" like oil and water everytime

we all just need to emulate the raw confidence of the kid who has the power of god AND anime on his side

Doing this has genuinely saved me. Pls be kind to yourself even when you don't believe it

since i use they/them pronouns i can make up any of those "well, you know what they say" phrases and it'll be true because i said it

Ed Sheeran and Hozier made a Christmas movie where a man (played by Hozier) is dating a bog nymph and has to pass her off as human when his roommates asked to meet her for Christmas. The soundtrack was just Shape of You on repeat and the only scene I can remember was where she got super drunk and filled their bathtub with frogs.