One of Us

But I know on that night I've wished you goodnight, even if it was muffled and my throat was sore from all the yelling and sobbing we tossed at each other. I still wished you goodnight because that's what I wish for you, for every moment you would experience to be a good one. But I've gone and dogged myself, and that cannot be forgiven. I've done wrong, and all I could do now is reminiscent on the days we shared, days long gone now.

I remember we used to sneak out of the house we shared with our friends, hop in my car and drove off into the sunrise, never a care for what they might think of us when we get back home. Even if we returned home on the same day. Oh the impromptu road trips we had over the years we spent together, I'll never forget them. You charmed my heart and soul from day 1, and ever since, every day was an adventure. Whatever was on my lifetime bucket list, we crossed it out in the span of a few years. Watching the sunrise at a mountainside cafe, karaoke under the stars, midnight city cruising and trying out obscure food together, we did it all. Make no mistake you made us a power couple. The sheer energy you invigorate me with is intoxicating sometimes.

And that's reflected in the nights of passion we shared. On some nights you would take the lead, on others I would return the favour. And we never fell out of each other's rhythm. Which is why I kept calling you my heart. Because I knew the day you leave me I'll struggle to continue on headstrong. I insisted on us tying things down together, but you never gave me a heartfelt reply. You played coy, and every time you did so I fell in love with you even more. The nights we shared, I'll never forget them, etched into my soul as of the day you left me.

And oh the nights that I felt were dull, you never failed to light up the night in ways I never expected. It's as if you had a magic hat filled to the brim with little tricks and techniques to alleviate the awkwardness in the atmosphere. You felt like home, and every moment without you I'm severely homesick. Cripplingly so, to the point where the days you had to leave my side I felt as if I slept the entire day, waiting for your return, yearning for your kisses. And for every kiss we shared, my love for you deepens. I've told you this a thousand times now yes, but it begs to be spoken again for you were never one to fully believe my words. And I don't blame you, for I'm but a lowly bard who managed to charm you for no more than a second. I'm lucky to have had you as my significant other. And I truly mean it when I say you're my significant other.

Nevertheless, I ask you one last time. How does it feel to know you're never alone when you come home? To know that someone was waiting for your return every night you were away. To be assured that if you fall flat on your face someone would be there to pick you up and tend to your injuries? I know my answers to these questions, but have you even acknowledged the existence of these questions?

I knew something was wrong with us. You never looked into my eyes. And I feared this day would come, but know that I'll always be here for you, by your side, even today. You gave me the shock of my life, as you've said your sweetest goodbye to me. And in truth I've yet to come to terms with your goodbye, but as of today, I have.

Your voice rings in my mind like the hundreds of bells and whistles that rang at our wedding, your touch has left a lasting impression on my skin, so much so that I'm afraid if someone else prods me where you have been, the chills I will feel will remind me of you. Every time I close my eyes a permanent image of you has been burnt under my eyelids, and worse so to the back of my mind. I'm afraid of letting you go, I've told you this numerous times already, and tenfold of that I've uttered "I love you." The phrase has yet to lose its meaning as I still am so very much endeared towards you. How you can show such childish innocence but still show me something new every night when we return to our private chambers. I don't remember if I've ever told you this, but goddamn I fall in love with you for every second there is in a day.

Then we realized it, we were alone together. After all these years being far apart from each other we were reunited. There was little fanfare as all we did was tightly embracing each other. I felt tears running down my cheeks as she whispered to me hello. I choked up, barely managing to say "I miss you. Where have you been?". She gently rubbed my back as I wept on, her soothing voice ringing in my ears as her reply sent a sharp pang to my heart.

"I've been with you all this time, but I've only been in your heart till today. It aches my heart and soul to see you in this state, but don't you worry for I will care for you till you can get back a solid footing." She whispered, all the while our embrace kept on getting tighter. After what felt like an hour, to which in reality it was no more than 30 odd seconds, our bodies parted with each other and we were allowed to breath once more. I stifled a breath and said to her "I missed you so.. so much." as I wiped my cheeks clean. She had a soft smile on as she helped me with a clean piece of cloth. Soon after I found myself leaning against her as we enjoyed ourselves on the balconies, gazing at the stars and the Moon, pointing out the planets to her if I see one.

Soon she wiggled out of my arms, clutching my hand and pulling me aside and whispered something in my ear. I didn't catch what she said as I was too enthralled by the night we've shared so far, but I was tugged along till we ended up in a room together, where she would toss me onto the bed like some used ragdoll. Her eyes were dark, as if dusted by a shadow and she lulled me with her angelic voice, telling me to lie down properly as if I were paraphernalia to her. But so I did lie down properly, no care for the world right now as she was the only thing I would care for for the night. Slowly she climbed on me and unbuttoned my shirt, caressing my cheeks as she whispered into my ear, "Now turn on your side so I may lie down next to you." And as I did so she quickly fell limp onto me, trapping me under her as she made herself comfy. Her head tucked in on my neck, her arms wrapped around mine and her fingers intertwined with mine. Our feet wrestled around as we resumed our embrace from where we left off. Right as I was about to doze off she gave me a kiss on the cheek and whispered to me goodnight.

I woke up at noon the day after to an empty bed, silken sheets a mess and a note left crumpled in my fist. As I read the note I caught a faint scent of lavender, the point of origin being the note itself. "I'll be at the lounge if you need me, doubt that you won't." It read. Tossing the note into the bin I put on my clothes and made sure my hair wasn't unkempt, I stumbled around the room looking for the exit before making my way down to the lounge. There I saw her messing around with various paraphernalia, and I stand before her in awe as if I've fallen in love once more. In truth however I find myself to fall in love with her over and over again everytime she looked at me, smiled at me, danced with me. As soon as I snapped out of my trance I realized she was but an inch from my face, threatening to touch noses as if we were cats nuzzling each other to show affection. But I didn't pull away, for I know that this was all I wanted. To be with her, close enough that we might as well become one. And in truth we are one, in heart and soul.

Smugly she smiled as she pulled away, pulling my hand to her chest as she snuck an object into my fist. As I was about to question her she placed a finger on my lips, effectively sealing them shut as if she commanded me to listen to her. And her words weren't at all what I wanted to hear. And as a result when she ended her message for me I felt the strings of my heart snap and my soul torn asunder.

"Please don't cry for me as I have wept enough for the both of us. I know it was stupid of me to disappear without a trace or message but do understand that I have my reasons. I love you with all my heart and soul and gods be damned if I have to leave you once more. But as fate has brought us together it will also tore us apart.

Call back to that fateful night when you proposed to me, how our embrace afterwards was so tight we left each other gasping for air, how we saw entire galaxies in each others eyes. I long to come back to that day for years now and I must thank you for bringing me back today. Again I will say, I loved you as much as I could, and I know you returned the love tenfold. It breaks my heart to know that you're left alone without anyone to hold, but know that till this day ends I will be here to hold your hand.

Please never forget me, and remember our promise. You gave me all of your soul and gifted me what is now my prized possession, but now I must give it back. Know that I too have given my soul to you, and my promise to you mirrors yours to mine. Take care of this ring you've given me, for tomorrow onwards it will be the only thing you'll remember of me. It pains me to say this, but goodbye. I love you so.. so much."

As she ended we were both in tears, tightly embracing each other as we tried to rule ourselves out of this world. Not a care for who may be staring, because I knew this was gonna be the last time I see her. And what pains me most, is that I've already forgotten what she looks like, and what her name was. All's left was the scent of lavender and her ring to remind me of who she was. Slowly we parted, daring not to open our eyes in fear that we would not see each other.