I Love Siren, Okay?

Less than two days later ive finished it and I have arttttt

Less than two days later ive finished it and I have arttttt

Im not sure if i can even call this “castle swimmer headcanons” because you already know all of them are gonna be about siren and the sharks 💀💀 can you tell he’s my favorite? I make sure to be REALLY subtle about it of course!!!!/sarc

Long post is long.

These chapter have consumed my mind for literally weeks now. And, now that they aren't fast-pass exclusives (and I'm no longer on vacation), I wanna talk a bit about them. First and foremost, as with all of my posts, I'm rambling. For another, I've had 3+ of processing, so I'm trying to remember my initial feelings.

With that out of the way, off I go.

Just getting this out of the way first. I absolutely adore how Siren automatically lowers himself to be eye-level with Kappa. It's such a little detail but I love it all the same every time I reread 168.

Siren is understandably in a lot of shock here. But he quickly realizes this is Kappa as a child. It's not an act of prostration as much as it is being on the same level as Kappa physically. Rather than make Kappa literally look up to him, he's choosing to look at this from Kappa’s point-of-view. I'm sure I'm just looking too deeply into this, but I found it both very sweet and conscientious of him. Whether Siren acted intentionally or reflexively is something only he knows though.

I'll be honest; I was mostly okay until this exact moment. At this point I've had to accept that my spirit fictional character may very well be a himbo, shark mermaid. Like, I've felt this, I've just never put it into these words exactly. And, let me tell you, it f*cking hurt reading this part. I'm weird, and reading out-loud helps me solidify and remember lines in a story.

I didn't pick up this series to see the ugly sides of myself being reflected back at me. I thought this was just some silly, cute romp with some LGBTQ+ feesh. Now I'm addicted. Thanks, Obama Ms. Martin.

It took me reading this until I could do so without crying to realize what I think Kappa is trying to get at here. Siren’s biggest fear is failing those he treasures; from his people to his boyfriend. What gave Kappa the courage to share this tragic part of his own personal history with Siren is more than just feeling safe with him or wanting Siren to understand why he hates knives so much.

Kappa has been where Siren fears to go. He's failed and only points the finger of blame at himself. But he survived it. He "failed" and he's still "here." Kappa is trying to show Siren that it's safe for Siren to express his failings with Kappa. That Kappa wants to protect Siren just as Siren wants to protect Kappa. That, even if he perceives himself as failing, Siren is still "here."

Going off of that, Kappa is trying to get Siren to a accept his perceived failings and be open about them. Because it's the only way either of them are going to heal with their past mistakes. Kappa is wonderfully patience and sincere here that it just breaks my heart. He repeatedly reaches out for Siren, being a literal light in Siren's darkness. Darkness that has loomed over his head since the God's Mouth (which he even mentions).

I have to say, I've always been a fan of how Ms. Martin frames these sequences. It's like getting a little window into the souls of these characters and how they are processing their situation. Siren’s going from fighting back against the hand Kappa is extending to him, arguing that he of all people doesn't "deserve" this, to gradually (and painfully) talking himself into making himself vulnerable with Kappa in a way he likely never has with someone else. It's especially obvious in the presentation of Siren’s teeth. He goes from baring them in a clenched grimace to hiding them behind a wobbly, frightened frown. It's hard. You can tell Siren wants to do nearly anything but this. But it's Kappa. And Kappa would never hurt him. Something he argued against Susca way back in episode 35.

He's having to prove just how much he still believes this to be true.

Throwing back to episode 150, we get some hindsight in Kappa’s perspective. Why am I bringing this up now? Because it was all I could think about in this section of 169.

Because I can't help but wonder if that thought is going through Kappa’s head again at this exact moment. Kappa "hates" that Siren feels guilty. No longer "doesn't like," which is how Kappa refers to his scales; hates. So being confronted with Siren admitting to the guilt Kappa suggested has to killing Kappa here. So I'm not surprised at all that this is what finally gets Kappa to start crying alongside Siren.

This isn't even getting into all of the people Siren is apologizing to. Siren feels guilty for not being, "able to end it," because he's still alive. He wants to give up. He wants to feel useful, to "deserve" their love. But he doesn't and he doesn't want to keep fighting this fight. He's tired. He hates himself because Siren feels like all these people he cares about wouldn't have suffered had he just died.

These thoughts, spoken out loud, I think rekindle Kappa’s fear of losing Siren. A fear that I wouldn't be surprised has been at the forefront of Kappa’s mind off and on since Siren’s botched attempt at asking Kappa to fulfill the prophecy should they not have a solution once his time is up.

That last image in particular has been living rent-free in my head for 3 weeks now. And I'm so happy to finally have a screenshot of it. I've been fighting making it one of my phone wallpapers since the chapter was released from fast-pass.

Someone else has already mentioned it, but Siren’s shock likely partially stems from him reeling from his experience within the God's Mouth. Of the fake Kappa holding his face and claiming that he loves him. But I'm gonna go a little deeper in the comparison.

Fake Kappa is also asking Siren to stay with him. But where they are creepy and possessive, the real Kappa is soft and pleading.

The fake blames the others for Siren’s pain. The very same people Siren expresses guilt for not helping. The real Kappa says he doesn't care about any of that. That he loves Siren despite Siren seeing himself as weak or a failure.

The fake heavily implies that Siren should just give up. That his pain will end if he does so. The real Kappa begs Siren to keep trying. Because losing Siren is unthinkable.

I think this is why Siren hesitates before accepting what Kappa is telling him. Because last time the fake placed a hand on his fresh injury, implicating the pain it will undoubtedly further inflict upon him should he stay with it.

The real Kappa, by contrast, has his hand on Siren uninjured cheek while pleading with Siren to stay with him. Kappa wants Siren to heal by staying with him. It's such a wonderful mirroring that I keep finding myself pondering over and over again.

To the point that, once Siren gets over his shock that, despite his aforementioned apologies and feelings of being unworthy, here is someone who truly loves him despite all of that. Which Siren recognizes means this is the real Kappa.

The one who makes Siren:

Which is drastically different from:

I could on and on about this. Maybe I'll make a Part 2 since apparently Tumblr has a 30 image limit per post. I don't know. It will depend on if I feel like this adequately got my feelings off of my chest. Esoecially because I didn't get anywhere near to discussing the whole bonding with the others heart bit.

“I need to find a different way to break the curse.”

I need siren and susca content NOW…. Icry everytime i think about them cause lord imagine susca seeing sirens scars. Her baby 😭

He’s literally everything she fought for i cannot imagine her pain when she found out about the prophecy. imagine the fear, some random guy is probably on his way to kill(stab your kid with a spear and spill his guts around your castle) your little boy and the only thing you can do is wait.

DUDE??????

AND IF I DIED RIGHT NOW???? WHAT THEN?? THEM OH MY GOD hes such a mamas boy im going to jump

oh susca, they could never make me hate you. No one gets you quite like i do </3