devotion.

      CASTITATLI​      ⁝       ♔       ⁝       STARTER CALL

           WHITE        -        HOT        AFFLICTION        ;        WROUGHT        ‘PON        VISCERAL        NERVE        ,        UNRELENTING        BY        NATURE        (               BY        BROKEN        DEVOTION               )        .               carved        within        bone        ,        marrow        etched        by        grueling        testament        of        sacrifice         ,        o’        how        the        sun        would        remain        unconquered        within        its        reign        as        you        were        travailed        by        calamity        .               what        matter        of        flesh        and        fibers        held        me        together        when        musculature        had        deteriorated        like        ash        in        the        wind        ?               lithe        sinews        kneaded        throbbing        tissue        ,        MOLDERING        FROM        LACK        OF        USE        .        will        i        be        found        beyond        the        harrows        of        encroaching        war        ,        or        will        this        alter        name        me        unavailing        and        rend        the        skin        from        ossein        ?               perhaps        you        were        better        off        in        the        throes        of        DECAYMENT        ,        nurturing        the        soil        ‘neath        where        you        trod        .               light        ,        radiance        ,        purity                                                          it        carves        a        pathway        through        the        dredges        of        anguish        ,        features        offer        an        incline        with        implacable        consideration        as        your        palm        is        bereaved        of        the        steadying        grasp        of        your        shoulder        .               azure        waves        bore        within        forest        greens        ,        STATIC        SILENCE        ADHERES        TO        THE        SPACE        BETWEEN        and        you        turn        from        persistent        benevolence        /        if        i        was        devastation        drenched        in        the        woes        of        ichor        /        then        you        were        salvation        encompassed        by        tender        mercy        .        

           frigid        apathy        ,        cold        disregard        ;        it        falters        before        sentiment        of        goodwill        as        genial        palms        outstretched        .               treatise        of        medicinal        herbs        offered        like        a        prayer        and        listless        expression        elevates        in        stark        contrast        to                INNATE        PASSIVITY        ,               ❝               oh        ,        you        found        it               .        .        .               ❞               resonance        softened                                                          tender        almost               (               surely        a        goddess        beset        by        mortality               )        .               ❝               thanks        .               ❞

              IT’S EASIER THAN ONE MIGHT THINK to lose something valuable to them, such as a trinket, or a book. a lost item reveals more about the owner if you know them well enough, but she is left perplexed at the item she holds safely between delicate hands: medicinal herbs, used to soothe aches and pains that run deep. 

             at first, her journey takes her to the obvious, fellow faith users that excel in healing like herself, but is left surprised when she’s informed that no, it does not belong to them. still, she doesn’t give up, and she’s found herself asking anyone she knows in the hopes of finding its owner. though, the more she struggles, the deeper her concern runs. medicinal herbs are used on more than one occasion, in the hope of treating an injury carried with them through the years, or weren’t given the option to heal correctly. 

           but then a thought occurred to her.. after all, why doesn’t she ask him? him, who she became acquainted with since they started their journey at the academy, someone who has been naught but kind to her. perhaps her footsteps quickened at the idea of seeing him, but when he finally comes to view, his name on her lips soft and yet filled with delight, his gaze meeting her own brings forth a smile that she couldn’t hold back. 

           hand outstretched, the medicinal herbs rest in her open palm unharmed, kept protected, and though she couldn’t read the expression on his face, she at least gets the notion that this is indeed his. once she’s close to him, she offers her hand to him, giving back what belongs to him. ‘ I’m just happy that it made it back to you, ‘ she offers, sheepish at his thanks. however, the concern from earlier creeps back within her mind, and she wants to ask; he’s nowhere near being a healer, with his axe being his weapon of choice. for all she knows, maybe he carries it with him as a precaution, but if she can help... 

            ‘ Sousuke, if I may... ‘ a slight hesitation in her voice, lips slightly losing grip on that radiant smile that quickly gives way to concern.  she should just leave the topic alone, but she cares too much to let it go unnoticed.   

             ‘ it’s rare, to see someone carry medicinal herbs outside of battle. are you hurt? ‘ 

                 ‘ taking a break from the festivities as well? I must admit, I haven’t had my share of these since our days at the academy. ‘ SHE LEFT FOR FRESH AIR JUST A BIT AGO, still not used to being around so many people at once. in their academy days she would be joyous on celebrating a win such as this with all her comrades, but now she’s left uneasy, perhaps some other feelings as well. she remembers them leaving after the ball, neither of them too eager to keep dancing, but it was still a night to remember. her eyes offer dimitri warmth, the corners of her mouth pulled up into a small smile. 

                 so when she finds him once again training, a light expel of air in the form of a sigh and a chuckle is given. diligent as always, which is why the healer brought with her his favorite snack, the citrus fruit resting in her palm. she could keep watching him train all evening if she wanted to, but she came to relieve him and encourage him to take a break. 

                  ‘ always so hard at work, yes? ‘ she speaks finally, giving Alm a smile once his attention is on her. she gestures to the fruit in her hand, holding it out for him to take. ‘ I come bearing a snack and a distraction, if you’ll have me. ‘

                  SHE DIDNT MEAN TO ZONE OUT, especially when someone is talking to her. the lack of sleep from the night prior, however, leaves her slightly dazed, and before she knows it she realizes just how out of sorts she is. embarrassed, cheeks flushed pink, her gaze is apologetic to her companion. 

❝  you sought my opinion?  ❞  the transition from stranger to ally is almost as difficult as the transition from mercenary to educator. the lessons his father taught him, passed down through lectures echoed throughout hallowed halls. while some disapprove, others seek his advice. such occurrences, though rare, manage to baffle him.  ❝  —- manuela’s skills surpass my own in the faith category.  ❞  /  @castitatli​​  !

☀️ — He never really LIED to his former students. Lying in general wasn’t something he was terribly good at, either. But, he did HIDE things at times, if only to reduce the worry they could have for him. Ultimately, he could survive longer on a restless night or a hallow chest then most could, and he would bear the weight to keep other, weaker shoulders clear. This isn’t to say he felt NOTHING - only that he would feel what he must to keep others safe. 

Yet, even if it is willing, he sometimes wishes he could RELAX. 

“Admittedly, I have been TIRED, Laei, but it’s alright.” He admits but cushions with reassurance, setting his cup down in place of one of the tiny pastries on a tray. “There isn’t much I can do to stay still, if we want this war to end any time soon.” 

           TIRED-- a word she’s very familiar with. at this point in the war, who ISN’T tired? constantly fighting, a break that seems like an intake of breath rather than a pause between carnage, a restlessness to seek peace and end the war over everything else. overall, Laei is tired of fighting friends, former classmates she held dear to her. hearing him admit as much, still, worries her; he does so much. 

           ‘ I understand. ‘ a pause, breaking off a piece of the sugary treat before placing it in her mouth. after chewing and swallowing, her hand lays idly next to the plate. ‘ we’ve been fighting endlessly, even before your return. it’s hard to rest when peace is reachable at any moment; I feel as if I’ve barely had the chance to catch my breath myself, and some days it can be hard to keep going. Yet, all I want is to end the war as fast as we can. I want to see a bright future for everyone. ‘ would it solve everything? no, but it could bring fodlan that much closer to true peace. 

“YOU’RE HOLDING BACK.” Perhaps, a statement of the obvious. Those who hold back often know that they are doing it, yet still choose to. He looks down to her with a steady gaze, a glove hand set careful along the blade’s edge. You are not entirely wrong, child, MERCY IS RARE, BUT THAT’S TRUE FOR BOTH SIDES OF THE FIGHT.

“By the time you manage to summon enough courage your throat will be slit.” A GRIM image, but one that is MORE THAN REALISTIC, “You need to be quick with your decisions, purposeful with your blows. Indecisiveness is obvious one one who is afraid, and the decisive will see that as an OPPORTUNITY.”

@castitatli II Starter Call

         BLUNT, STRAIGHT TO THE POINT. holding back is not intentional, but it’s within a merciful nature to not want to hurt anyone, even in the name of training. his strength is at least tenfold of what she’ll ever have, so there’s no need to hold back, but the idea of hurting him doesn’t feel right. 

          ‘   i   found   this   in   the   greenhouse   ,   i   thought   it   might   be   yours  ??   ’   @castitatli​  .

hello, friends! I’ve done some cleaning up on the blog, and now I’m dash only! my rules, verses and about page have moved to the description for easy access. I would really appreciate it if you all would take a look at it, and if anything seems out of place just let me know! 

also! this does mean that I’ve cleared out my inbox as I’ve been overwhelmed, so my apologies. this does go from all of my older starters as well, except from the ones I’ve replied to within the last month. I plan to make a new starter call tonight or tomorrow and start small so I can get back into writing on here, but I feel much better now that I’ve cleaned up.

@castitatli — starter call  ♡

     “You must excuse me if this sounds rather odd — but you seem quite familiar to me, though I cannot recall why.”

       ❝ That’s the last of them. Hopefully we don’t get anymore refugees overnight. I wouldn’t know where to put them. ❞

@castitatli​.     ♡’d