beau

pride month is almost over I would just like to say happy pride to boring LGBTQ people in particular. everyone expects us to be brilliant creatives and scientists and interior decorators and quirky professors and tortured artists but some of us wear nothing but Kirkland Signature clothing and watch Friends and The Office and are incapable of having an interesting conversation and that is okay. our diversity is our strength.

I'm gonna say it, I do think that even the laziest person imaginable should have a roof over their head, food in their stomach, and access to healthcare

vampire fuckers are weird like y'all are like "i want my blood drained" and baby girl its just gonna make you sluggish and tired. that is not fun for anyone involved

literally just go be anemic like idgi

can't speak to vampire kink but i always liked the floatiness after giving blood. Well, until i got banned.

wait how did you get banned from giving blood

I had sexual relations with a man when I still identified as a man - homophobic carry-on from the AIDS crisis

oh i forgfot about that i thought you did something wild like drank the blood or something

No no, that cat is on the team

i just got the "see where your blood has gone!" email from giving blood but it glitched and just showed me my current location. which. theyre not wrong. that is where most of my blood is

I told my little nephew that I'd wave at his airplane when it flew over my house today, and he very calmly and politely explained that it wouldn't be possible to see me due to the limitations of human vision. I said he just had to squint real hard, and he took a deep breath and went into the toddler version of "see, what you're not understanding–"

first thing id do as a skeleton is drink red wine from a goblet and have it spill out everywhere . second thing id do is play my ribs like a xylophone