I Am Casper Michaels

“Chomp chomp!”

It’s honestly so problematic, that mothers are expected by such a large part of western society to be these beatific paragons of sexless virtue. The Madonna/Whore complex is so real. Mothers are good and saintly and should never, ever be sexualized… But… like… how do you think I ended up pregnant in the first place? How silly, when you think about it, to be so appalled that a mother might enjoy sex.

It’s also a problematic attitude because it feeds into the idea that you’re expected to live for your children rather than yourself. Selfless, pristine, unsullied motherhood, utterly devoted to baby. And fuck that, as well. My kid will grow up seeing that my family is a huge priority in my life – but NOT MY SOLE REASON FOR LIVING. I also have my work, my art, my relationships with other adults, and my own private interests, just like every other grown-up should. It’s healthy for kids to see and understand that the world doesn’t revolve around them.

I’m still my own person. I’m still the SAME person I was a year ago. And that person enjoys sex, enjoys kink, and is happy in her lifestyle choices. Am I going to flaunt my sex life in front of my kid? No, never! That would be WILDLY inappropriate and harmful. But that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t have a sex life. And it doesn’t mean I should start to feel uncomfortable about the lifestyle I’ve chosen, either.