Writing Trashcan

Waking up to the sun in his face sent a jolt of panic through Patton. There was still school to go to, and the sudden shouldn’t be out when he had to get up.

“Oh, crud!” he cursed, shooting out of his bed and cringing when he looked down at himself.

He didn’t have time to get changed, he’d have to go to school without a binder today. Gosh this was going to suck with his dysphoria, but he was late and he had to get out of the house.

A thought struck him, and Patton looked at his bed, and then under it, and then other places around his room. The window was still closed too, and Patton let out a noise of confusion because if that were the case, how did Salem get out?

Patton’s text tone went off, and he remembered he was supposed to be getting ready dang it! He’d worry about Salem when he wasn’t at risk for detention or his sister getting mad at him!

It was a rush to get ready, and since his sister had already left for the college he was going to have to walk to the school. Heck, he was going to miss so much of his classes.

He pulled out his phone, wincing when he saw it was approaching nine. Missed all of the first period already. Logan might be able to pick him up though? Now was his free period and he usually drove to school.

Decision made, Patton pulled up his text conversation with Logan and hit call, putting his phone on speaker while he struggled to get pants on.

“Patton? Where are you, it’s unlike you to miss school without warning us before it even starts.”

He winced, then let out a yelp when he nearly tripped.

“Are you alright?” Logan asked, clear worry in his tone as Patton sighed.

“Yep! Trying to get my pants on. Will you come pick me up? Morgan’s at college and if I call her-”

“Ah, the dragon witch, yes of course Patton, I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

The amount of affection and gratefulness he felt for Logan in that moment nearly overwhelmed Patton to the point of crying.

“Thanks Lo! See you in ten!”

Before Logan could respond, Patton tapped the end call on his phone and finished buttoning up his jeans before he shoved his phone in his pocket.

With a sigh and a frown at his dresser drawer, Patton grabbed his backpack and then made his way to the bathroom to fix his bed-head. The brush caught a couple times in his curly hair, and he hissed in pain (the sound bringing his mind back to Salem for a moment) before he decided the mess was tamed enough.

Patton was at the top of the stairs when he heard the TV on and felt his heart sink into his stomach.

Was his sister home? She had class today, why the heck would she be home?

Making his way downstairs, Patton did his best to creep as quietly as possible. As soon as he was able he peeked around the corner of the wall to see Morgan passed out on the couch, arm thrown over her eyes and mouth hanging open.

There was drool on her mouth, she was still asleep. He’d have to skip breakfast if he wanted to get passed her without waking her up.

His stomach growled in protest at the thought and Patton winced. That’s right… he’d skipped dinner last night too.

With a deep breath, Patton shook off his hunger and tiptoed through the living room. He kept his eyes either on the couch or the door, straining hard to make sure she didn’t wake up until he had his shoes in hand and was out the door.

Sighing in relief, Patton sat on the concrete step and shoved his feet in his shoes, glancing up every few seconds to watch for Logan.

Hearing Logan’s truck pull up made his heart leap into his throat, and he rushed to get in so they could leave faster.

“You’re rushing,” Logan commented while Patton pulled his seatbelt over his chest, wincing at the way it nestled against his chest and making his breasts way more pronounced than he wanted.

“Yeah, Morgan over slept too apparently,” he responded, looking up to eye the door and windows while Logan shifted gears.

“Your sister is infuriatingly hypocritical.”

Patton sagged when Logan finally pulled away and he didn’t see any signs of his sister having woken up.

“Not like I can do anything about it, Lo,” he said, pulling the seatbelt away from his chest and staring out the window while he played with it.

Logan hummed, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel.

“My offer for you to stay with me still stands.”

Shaking his head, Patton sighed and let go of the seat belt. He didn’t answer verbally though, not really having the energy to fight with Logan about why he didn’t want to do that.

Silence filled the truck, and Patton settled in to deal with how awkward he felt by pulling on the seatbelt intermittently until Logan pulled into the school parking lot.

Patton didn’t really want to go inside. Didn’t really want to deal with feeling like everyone was going to be staring at his chest.

“If you’d turn around, Patton, you’d see the sweatshirt I’m holding out to you,” Logan said, making Patton do as he narrated.

Holy heck that was a massive hoodie.

“Is that… Is that Teagan’s?” he asked, grabbing the navy fabric and holding it up.

“It was. I borrowed it when he moved out for college,” Logan said, unbuckling his seatbelt before turning off the truck and pulling his keys out of the ignition.

Patton looked at Logan, then raised an eyebrow.

“You stole it from him while he was packing, didn’t you?”

Logan cleared his throat, hiding the embarrassed tint of his cheeks by climbing out of the truck and making Patton giggle at his expense.

“He never used it, I just wanted to re-purpose it in case something like this happened.”

Patton felt his affection from earlier return, and he climbed out of the truck himself before pulling the hoodie over his head and breathing a sigh of relief at how it hung off his frame.

“Yeah, yeah. Thanks Lo, I really appreciate it. Where’s Roman? Doesn’t he have a free period this period too?”

Logan scowled, though it was probably because Roman said something stupid to irritate him again rather than actual anger at their friend, and pointed at the building by the stairs.

Following his finger, Patton grinned when he saw Roman sitting in the grass hidden by the shade. He started waving his arm over his head, but when that failed to get his friend’s attention he took off in his direction, trusting Logan to follow behind.

Roman didn’t notice him until he slid across the grass like a baseball player would to base, a yelp escaping him followed soon by groan and a giggle.

“Padre! You made it!” he exclaimed, earning a ‘shut up’ glare from Logan before he looked around to make sure there were no teachers around while Patton was supposed to be in class.

“I did!” Patton shouted just as loudly, making Logan rub the bridge of his nose between his thumb and pointer finger.

“You two are impossible. Patton, do you want to get in trouble?” he asked, sitting across from the two while Patton draped himself in Roman’s lap.

“No! We’re in love specs! Do you really want to break up our wonderful chemistry? Become a home wrecker? Are you really that cruel of a man?”

While Roman spoke, he wrapped his arms around Patton and maneuvered him until he was resting against his shoulder. All the while Patton giggled, resting a hand on Roman’s chest and doing his best to give Logan his best impression of a hurt look.

His laughter definitely ruined the effect, but based on the fact that Logan was struggling not to smile, Patton thought it hit home well enough.

“Insufferable, both of you. Patton you need to get to class, you can’t stay here the rest of the period.”

Patton let out a whine and sagged in Roman’s arms, letting out an ‘oof’ when he dropped him back into his lap.

Well, he’d been planning on complaining, but now he was giggling too hard to continue.

Roman seemed to have him covered though, because he pushed Patton off his lap and stood up with gusto to wrap an arm around Logan’s shoulders.

“We’re not skipping,” Logan spoke before Roman had a chance to say his piece, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Oh come on Lo! We need a break! School in Salida is stressful! One missed day won’t hurt us, consider it a mental health day!”

Patton lifted himself off the ground, shifting until he was sitting cross-legged in the grass as he looked up at Logan and Roman in consideration.

“I- That sounds really nice actually. Morgan-”

“Ugh, Dragon Bitch.”

“-only answers the phone when it’s one of her friends, so I shouldn’t get in trouble for it.”

Logan sighed, looking between the two for a moment before dropping his arms in defeat.

“Alright, fine. Mental health is just as important as physical, skipping it is.”

Roman let out a cheer, though Logan cut him off quickly by clamping his hand over his mouth. Patton started giggling again, getting up from the ground and grabbing his backpack that’d he’d flung off him so he could be dramatic in Roman’s lap.

“I’d ask if you were stupid, but you asked me what the capital of Paris was last week,” Logan hissed, looking at what they could see of the school doors to make sure a teacher wasn’t about to come out and ask what they were doing.

With a roll of his eyes, Roman pulled Logan’s hand off his mouth.

“Relax, specs. The only one here who has a class right now is Patton and he knows how to sweet talk his way out of being in trouble.”

Logan sighed again, rolling his eyes to the sky.

“I don’t have enough patience to deal with you.”

Roman grinned at him, tightening his grip on Logan’s shoulders before suddenly rubbing his knuckles over his hair and earning a yelp.

“We should go to the park! The one by the river so we can watch all the birds!”

Patton watched the two interact, giggles still occasionally bursting out of him.

The cat was outside his window when Patton got to his room, letting out a loud mew to be let inside as soon as it spotted him.

“Oh! Well there you are little kitty! I was missing you,” he said softly, opening his window despite his better judgement.

Being allergic to cats was never fun as an animal lover, but it looked like it was going to rain and Patton didn’t wanna let the cat get wet.

It hopped onto his desk, and then over to his bed settled nearby. Patton smiled softly as he closed the window, then took off his backpack and set it on his desk chair, pushing it just enough for the chair to spin slowly.

“I met the strangest person today, kitty. He seemed quiet, but he was nice enough to walk me home,” he started talking, moving towards his dresser so he could pull out a sports bra.

The cat meowed, and Patton looked over his shoulder to give it a small smile.

“I know, I know, I shouldn’t trust strangers. Especially in a town like Salida, but he didn’t seem bad, ya know? Just… troubled.”

As he spoke, Patton pulled off his shirt and looked at his worn, skin-toned binder with a small sigh.

“I’ve worn this too long again today, kitty. I was having so much fun with Roman and Logan at the library I totally forgot I was wearing it.”

Patton huffed a small laugh when the cat meowed in response, then started pulling off his binder. With the tight fabric off, Patton took a deep breath and winced at the way it felt like his ribs were stretching.

He carefully buried his binder under his bras, and then pulled on the sports bra followed by the shirt he’d been wearing all day (not quite ready to put on his pajamas) and sighed a breath of relief.

Turning back to his bed, Patton giggled at seeing the cat facing the wall, like it hadn’t wanted to see him undress.

“You’re so respectful, kitty. I should name you something so I’m not calling you kitty all the time,” he commented, walking towards his bed and sitting nearby the animal, crossing his legs and leaning back against the wall.

There was a weight on his lap, and though Patton knew he should push the kitty off and go take his allergy medicine, he couldn’t bring himself to.

So instead he started stroking his hand over the soft fur, smiling when a gentle purr kicked up.

“Okay, kitty names. What about… Fuzzykins?”

The purring stopped, and Patton looked down at the cat to see it giving him what could only be classified as a glare.

Laughing, Patton kept petting the cat.

“Okay, Fuzzykins is out. I’ll pick something more name like then. Let’s see. Black kitty, different colored eyes, incredibly intelligent… What about Salem? Like the talking cat on Sabrina the Teenage Witch?”

The purring got louder, and Patton grinned, lightly scratching Salem under his chin.

“Salem it is then. Did you know Roman came into school this morning talking silly about Salida being a Young Adult novel plot town?” he asked, sighing softly as Salem made a ‘mrrp’ sound at him.

Gosh he loved cats, he just hoped his allergies didn’t kick him too hard in the butt when they did kick in.

“Yeah. He insists that if anything weird happens it’s gonna kickstart life endangering romance and paranormal happenings. I didn’t tell him about you, I kinda figured he’d tell me to try and get you to stop following me, and I don’t really wanna do that. I like having the company when I walk.”

At this point, Patton had shifted until he was laying on his side. Salem was curled up against his chest, purring because he had yet to stop petting him.

“You’re a really sweet kitty, Salem. I wish my sister would let me actually get a pet. But she insists I wouldn’t be able to take care of one. Which is ridiculous! I was the only one who managed to keep the goldfish we got at the fair when we were little alive for two years! I’d be great at taking care of a pet.”

Patton sighed, feeling his face tingle now that he’d finally dropped the smile he’d been wearing most of the day. Tears pricked his eyes, and he buried his face into Salem’s fur.

He was definitely going to regret that later, but the comfort of having Salem cuddling into him was nice and he couldn’t help but relish in it.

“I know I have my friends, but sometimes I still feel really lonely. That’s… that’s pretty dumb isn’t it?” he asked softly, giggling when Salem bumped his head into Patton’s chin.

“Okay, Okay I’ll stop moping. I should get some homework done though-”

Before Patton could get up, Salem bapped his cheek with his paw, meowing at him in protest and he let out a flurry of uncontrollable giggles.

“Alright, five more minutes of cuddling, but I’ve got history and math homework to work on, okay?”

Salem increased his purring and rubbed his cheek against Patton’s face.

Patton sighed softly, resuming his petting and letting Salem nap against him as he stared at the wall opposite of his bed.

Sometimes Patton felt like something was missing. He’d grown up here, and sure he didn’t have his parents anymore but he barely remembered them anyway, it’s been so long since they passed.

And he had Roman and Logan, and they had plans of exploring the world as soon as they could. Patton was happy for them, though sometimes he wondered if leaving was something he wanted to do. Would they even want Patton to tag along if that were the case? Sure, they’ve been friends for years, but what if that was just because of school?

Salem shifted under his hand, and he lifted it until the cat had settled before resuming his petting, not looking at him the whole time as he got lost in his thoughts.

He probably shouldn’t worry about it as much as he did, but when Patton was home it was… difficult for him to ignore the uncertainty of the future and who he might still have when all was said and done.

His heart grew heavy in his chest, and Patton frowned, wiping at his eyes with the hand that hadn’t been petting Salem.

Maybe his allergies were kicking in?

...No, he usually broke out into a rash. He was just sad right now.

The thought made his brows furrow in confusion, and he looked down at Salem after he lifted himself onto his elbow.

“You’re a cat.”

Salem looked at him, and if Patton had to guess he’d be saying you just noticed? If he could talk.

“No, Salem, you’re a cat. And I’m not itchy yet even though we’ve been cuddling for fifteen minutes. I’m allergic to cats, why aren’t I breaking out into a rash?”

Salem seemed to freeze at that, eyes staring at him wide. Patton stared back, then broke out into a grin.

“Are you hypoallergenic? Oh my gosh, that would be so cool? Pretty eyes, sweet personality, and you’re hypoallergenic? You’re like the most perfect kitty ever.”

Salem relaxed back against him, and Patton leaned down to place a little kiss against the kitty’s forehead.

“I hope you continue being my friend, Salem. I’d be sad if I couldn’t talk to you anymore,” he said softly, feeling his eyes get heavy.

“You know, I was reading last night-”

“A rare venture into a new world for you.”

“Shut up Logan, anyway I was reading a book I’d found last night and I was struck with the realization that we live in a Young Adult author’s dreamboat of an out of the way nondescript country town and have our own boogie monsters everyone is afraid of.”

Patton looked up from his doodling on his history homework, brows furrowing as he processed what Roman had just said while Logan looked at him like he had finally lost the marbles hanging on for dear life.

“What?”

“I’m inclined to agree with Patton, Roman, what?”

Roman huffed, sliding into the bench of the cafeteria table with a pout as he glared at Logan. Patton didn’t get a glare, likely because Roman insisted he could do no wrong in the teasing department.

Which isn’t the case but Patton wasn’t going to correct him and lose out on prime teasing material. Besides, he was genuinely confused by what his friend had just said.

“Keep up with me specs, I’m sure you’ve read plenty of YA adventure novels when you need a break from the sciency mumbo jargon-”

“Mumbo jargon?”

“-you usually consume on a regular basis. Will you stop interrupting me?”

Logan stared at Roman for a few more seconds, but when their more eccentric friend didn’t back down, he sighed.

“Fine, continue with whatever nonsensical bullshit you were just about to spout in an assassination plot of my sanity.”

Roman nodded, satisfied.

“Thank you. Now as I was saying, think about it. We live in the middle of nowhere Colorado-”

“Factually incorrect, we live in Salida.”

“Logan I swear to God, I just asked you to stop interrupting me.”

Patton bit his lips, forcing himself to keep his mouth closed while he struggled to muffle his laughter as Logan and Roman glared at each other. If Roman gave in, they’d start bickering and Roman would never get to say his piece. If Logan did, he’d be sitting through the rest of their breakfast trying not to insult or interrupt their friend.

He had his money on Logan caving first, Roman was stubborn and he seemed to really want to get his thoughts out before class started.

As predicted, Logan gave a frustrated sigh and started tearing at his double chocolate muffin, shoving a chunk in his mouth while he ignored Roman’s satisfied smirk.

“Now, as I was saying, we live in the middle of nowhere Colorado,” Patton fought back another laugh at the clear dig at Logan’s interruption, “literally nothing happens here and we have town boogiemen that everyone fears because they never show their faces and one of them basically owns every politician running the place.”

Roman was listing things off on his fingers, clearly invested in what he was saying. Patton put down his pencil and reached over to grab a chunk from Logan’s muffin, snatching his hand back with the piece trapped between his fingers when Logan tried to grab for it.

“Okay, how does that make us a dreamboat for a Young Adult genre writer?” Patton asked, shoving the piece of muffin in his mouth while Logan glared at him.

His friend blinked, looking at Patton blankly for a moment. It lasted until Patton raised an eyebrow and Roman conceded the point that Patton didn’t read that much unless he was able to find an audio book so he could keep busy while he read and forged on.

“Okay, you’ve seen Twilight right Patton?” At Patton’s nod, Roman continued, “well a lot of YA novels are set in places similar. Forks, Oregon, or Gatlin, South Carolina. And usually they kick off when some out of the ordinary event takes place. Moving into the town, the scary not often seen person taking an interest in someone, yada yada yada.”

Patton continued to nod along, an image of the cat that had started waiting for him outside of his tiny home and following him everywhere popping into his mind.

“And why is this important, Roman?” Logan asked, huddling protectively over his muffin and glaring again at Patton when he grinned at him.

Roman huffed at the question, crossing his arms over the table and leaning towards the center of their little group. Patton followed his lead, practically sitting on the edge of his seat with an anticipating grin while Logan gave the two an unimpressed look.

They looked at him expectantly, and Logan rolled his eyes.

“I don’t know what you two are expecting from me, I’m not getting any closer to Patton lest he steal my entire muffin this time.”

Patton let out a mischievous giggle, resting his chin on the palm of his hand as he looked at Logan with a fake expression of innocence.

“Why Logan! I wouldn’t dare,” he said, putting on a southern belle accent to further his plea of not guilty.

Roman let out an uncontrolled snort while Logan went back to glaring. There was silence between the three while Patton blinked at Logan innocently and Logan glowered at Patton suspiciously.

“Just get over here, Specs, so I can say what I need to!”

Logan huffed, pushing his glasses up his nose as he leaned in closer, arms creating a wall between his muffin and Patton’s hands.

Patton just grinned, turning his attention back to Roman.

“Okay, importance of this topic, what is it?” Patton asked, eagerly paying attention to his friend now because Roman was getting into it and he loved it when Roman got dramatic.

“It’s important that we graduate school and get out of Salida before one of our lives gets put in danger for the sake of paranormal romance that could result in our deaths,” Roman said quickly and to the point, which was out of character for him.

Then Roman glanced at Logan and Patton had to struggle not to laugh because Roman had been worried about getting interrupted again before he could reach the dramatic reveal.

Logan was back to being unimpressed, leaning back and looking at the ceiling as if praying for patience.

“I want to leave this town as much as you do, Roman, but the paranormal does not exist and so little happens here anyway I doubt it’d come here to make itself at home.”

Patton, while Logan was distracted, snatched what was remaining of his muffin. Logan yelped, lunging to get it back while Patton struggled to get off the table bench, forcing back his snickers as he shoved some of the muffin in his mouth to take a massive bite from the side.

“Patton!” Logan screeched, stumbling as he got out of his own seat to chase after Patton.

He didn’t even stop to grab his things, but Patton had the advantage of already having packed up almost everything and clutching his history homework in his hands when the bell rang, signalling for students to make their way to class in the next five minutes.

Logan let out a despairing whine as he stopped chasing after him, Patton trying not to choke on his stolen muffin through his laughter as his friend retreated to gather his backpack and homework.

Fuck.

Fuck, shit, God damn it, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Remus was so fucking gay. How the hell was he supposed to handle this much gay? If his gay was something tangible he’d be drowning in how much there was, it’d fill the entire house, suffocating him until all he could think about was Virgil.

Not that he wasn’t already constantly thinking about Virgil anyway. Jesus fuck how could he not think about him? Virgil was adorable and sexy and down right gorgeous all at once and it was hell on Remus’ “how much gay he can handle” meter.

Honestly the last few months Virgil has made that meter burst several times. It basically happened each time he managed to get the smaller man to laugh, his snort that dissolved into a flurry of giggles made Remus’ heart melt in his chest.

Virgil’s snarky, sarcastic attitude was so attractive Remus was honestly impressed with himself for not jumping him at all since they met.

“You’re going to pace a groove into the floor, Remus,” Roman said from the couch, interrupting Remus’ train of thought.

He threw his hands into the air, letting out a frustrated groan.

“I can’t help it, Ro! I’m having a massive gay crisis, and you’re over there texting your online fuck buddy!”

Roman shot up from his lying position, glaring at Remus with a red face and phone held close to his chest.

“Logan is not a fuck buddy! He’s just a good friend I happen to have a crush on,” he protested, earning a scoff from Remus.

“Sure, okay, not important right now. What’s important is you’re asking me to stop pacing when I’m trying to gay panic over Virgil because he’s so much better than I thought he would be when we first met and he got flustered over me instead of you.”

Roman rolled his eyes, flopping back down on the couch cushions and raising his phone over his head, tapping at the screen as he texted Logan.

“Okay? Like I get having a gay panic over that, but why don’t you just tell him that? You two have been flirting with ages and Patton texts me laughing his ass off when Virgil goes on rants about wanting to kiss you,” he said, not really having his full attention on the conversation.

Remus stopped moving then, staring at his brother as his mind rebooted from that information.

As soon as Remus was back in working order, he was out the door, not even acknowledging his brother’s confused shout as he made his way to his car.

He had an emo to kiss and nothing was going to stop him from achieving that goal except the emo himself.

On the ride over, Remus played a bunch of different scenarios in his mind. Dipping Virgil into the best kiss of his life as soon as he opened the door, pinning him to the wall to steal his breath with a heated kiss, tackling him to the floor so he could kiss Virgil endlessly without his legs getting tired from standing.

None of them involved freezing in the doorway when Virgil answered his persistent knocking with a sleepy yawn and a rats nest in his hair, oversized tee shirt hanging loosely off one shoulder and so big Remus couldn’t tell if he was wearing pants or not.

“Re?” he called, frowning in confusion and concern when Remus didn’t respond.

He was too gay to function, holy shit.

Virgil bit his lip, glancing behind Remus to make sure nobody was behind him to see him so dressed down.

Remus didn’t process any of that, eyes locked on Virgil’s bottom lip being chewed lightly between his teeth, filling his mind with more images of kissing the man in front of him.

“Can I come in?” he finally asked, swallowing hard as he forced himself to look Virgil in the eyes, smiling at the surprise he saw there.

“Uh, yeah, of course,” he said, stepping aside to let Remus inside, closing the door behind him when he stopped just a few steps into the entryway.

It was quiet for a moment, Remus trying to figure out how he wanted to do this without crossing any of Virgil’s boundaries and Virgil rocking on his heels as he watched Remus struggle with himself.

“Is something wrong?” he asked, tilting his head to put himself in Remus’ distracted line of vision, forcing him to focus on the smaller man.

Remus grinned, an opportunity presenting itself in that question.

“Only that I’m not kissing you right now,” he said, grin widening at Virgil’s flushed face.

Virgil hesitated for a moment, glancing away in thought, though his eyes quickly returned to Remus with a small, sly smile.

“Then why aren’t you?”

And oh, Remus loved him. Remus was totally head over heels in love with Virgil Ann Storm and he was going to kiss him right the fuck now.

So he did, taking the two steps towards him he needed, grabbing his face, and crushing his lips to Virgil’s in a kiss that was a long time coming.

It lasted fifteen seconds, not long enough for Remus’ tastes, before Virgil was pulling away.

Remus went right back in though, chasing Virgil’s lips with his own to start another kiss, not wanting to stop until one of them needed to breathe.

It took three more kisses and Virgil bursting into giggles that made Remus’ heart seize before he got the hint to stop.

“You’re so fucking eager, Remus, God,” Virgil said, giggles interrupting him before he could continue teasing.

“Can’t help it, you’re hot as fuck and cute as hell,” was Remus’ response, grinning at Virgil as he laughed.

Virgil rolled his eyes, pulling free of Remus’ grip on his face and moving to his couch, curling up next to the arm and making Remus stare at the way the shirt rode up his thigh, exposing more skin.

“I can see you undressing me with your eyes, Re, you need to get a grip.”

Remus just grinned, looking at Virgil’s amused face as he wiggled his eyebrows in response.

Virgil laughed, trying to smother it behind his hand and failing the more Remus wiggled.

“You’re impossible, if you’re going to come cuddle me get over here,” he said, forcing back his laughter but unable to resist the grin as Remus very enthusiastically flopped on the couch next to Virgil, laying his head on his thigh.

“Not my fault you’re an incubus in disguise.”

“Okay monster fucker, reign yourself in.”

Remus sighed dramatically, but he was happy to do as Virgil asked.

“Patton I get you’re excited about me finally agreeing to meet your friends but if you pull any harder on my arm you’re going to dislocate my shoulder,” Virgil said, clearly amused by his friend’s enthusiasm.

Slowing to a stop, Patton looked back at Virgil with a sheepish grin.

“Sorry kiddo! Remus and Roman just get impatient sometimes and they tend to destroy whatever area they’re in when that happens and since they’re in Dee’s house this time I’d really like you to meet them before they die.”

Virgil let out a snort at that, glancing at the houses lining the street then at the pale yellow one Patton had been clearly dragging him towards.

“I can get that, Pat, but I’d really like to keep my shoulder in its socket,” he says, trying not to laugh as they start walking, slower this time and with Virgil’s wrist freed from Patton’s grip.

“Gosh I can’t wait for you to meet the twins! Dee isn’t there right now, they’re at work, but they promised to bring food when they get off, so you should definitely stick around to meet them!”

Virgil nodded at Patton’s rambling, stepping inside the house when he opened the door and pausing to see two very obvious twins standing in front of the tv.

One had a mustache and a strip of white in his hair, and he’d just turned to the twin with swept back hair and wearing a red and white varsity jacket with a grin and a bounce as he laughed.

And Virgil had to stop in the doorway, staring at him with wide eyes and a red face because that was the cutest fucking bounce he’d ever seen and he was decked out in green and black and was very attractive wearing it.

Virgil didn’t believe in love at first sight but fuck man he wouldn’t mind love at first kiss maybe? He’d really like to kiss that cute smile like right fucking now.

“Kiddo?” Patton called, halfway to where the twins were and thus drawing everyone’s attention to Virgil who was still hovering in the doorway.

Oh God, the cute one was staring at him now. How does function? Fuck. Virgil’s heart seemed to stop in his chest and his face was growing redder, oh shit, was this what gay panic felt like? Probably.

“Uh…” Virgil said, very eloquently, as he moved his eyes to Patton who was wearing a very smug grin as he seemed to realize what was going on.

“Is he broken already?” Cute Twin asked, clearly amused by Virgil’s frozen state.

Patton crossed his arms, his grin growing wide as he watched Virgil.

Oh God, Patton don’t.

“He’s just going through some very intense gay panic right now, Remus. I wonder which twin it’s over?”

Virgil is going to murder a man today.

Varsity twin’s (who Virgil was pretty sure was Roman, if Cute Twin is Remus) smirk grew as Virgil finally took a few steps forward to close the door behind him, though he was still very much gay panicking over Cute Twin.

“Oh, I’m sure it’s me, I’ve yet to meet a cute guy who hasn’t swooned over my good looks,” he said, striding forward.

When Roman reached forward to grab Virgil’s hand, Virgil sidestepped and moved his hand very clearly away from him.

Confused, Roman looked at Virgil’s face.

“Don’t touch me? Like who just goes to touch a stranger without asking?” Virgil asked, briefly snapped out of his gay panic because seriously rude much?

Remus barked out a laugh, Virgil’s eyes snapping back to him as he bounced again, clapping his hands together in his amusement.

Oh fuck he’s so cute.

Roman blinked, looking at Virgil and then at Remus before finally settling on Patton, who was barely holding together his own laughter.

“He’s gay panicking over Remus?”

Patton started cackling then, bending over as he clutched his stomach.

Meanwhile Remus had startled out of his laughter, staring at Virgil mystified.

“Me? Literally it’s always Roman, what?”

Roman seemed to agree with Remus’ confusion, crossing his arms over his chest in a pout.

“I know! What on Earth do you see in him, Virgil? Look at him! He’s a trash rat.”

Remus snorted at Roman’s description as Virgil tried to figure out how to respond through his gay.

“Uh… he’s cute? Like the… the bouncy laugh. It was… adorable?” he tried, his face growing hotter as he spoke.

Roman paused at Virgil’s answer, giving him a weird look.

“I have literally never heard anyone describe my brother as cute before, but okay?”

Virgil shrugged, looking at Roman for a second before his eyes went back to Remus.

Remus’ face was red, and his eyes were wide as he stared at Virgil.

“I’m keeping him,” he said after a moment, nodding to himself as Patton let out a snort from the floor where he had collapsed a few moments earlier.

“I don’t think that’s how you ask someone out, Remus, but okay.”

Remus shrugged, beckoning for Virgil to enter the living room with a wide grin.

“Come here Gay Panic at the Disco, let me get a good look at your cute face,” he said, Virgil squeaking a little at the cute comment.

“Patton, you’re a dead man, but I will let you live until your other friend gets here,” Virgil said, finally moving away from the door, Roman moving behind him and sitting on the couch as he continued to pout.

“Aw, kiddo! I’d like to see you try,” was Patton’s response, earning a sharp glare from Virgil.

“I’m smaller than you, and quieter. And I have access to poisons.”

“Oh my God, you’re perfect,” Remus breathed, grin wide as Virgil looked at him with his blush renewed.

“What?”

“I am going to woo the fuck out of you.”

Virgil made a flustered sound of confusion, wondering what the hell he said to gain Remus’ interest.

Virgil doesn’t really know what happened after he’d entered the forest. He remembers seeing a wispy light off in the distance and despite knowing it was a Will-o'-the-wisp it was almost as if he’d been possessed by the urge to follow it.

Will-o'-the-wisp’s typically lead you somewhere you wouldn’t be seen again. Most assumed that meant death, Virgil was inclined to agree. Not like he was able to stop though, even as he kept tripping over roots and stumbling over fallen branches. His trance like focus on following the wisp never broke, his gaze never wavered from the ghost-like fire that was always several feet in front of him.

He didn’t come back to himself until it dissipated, seemingly scared off by something Virgil couldn’t see because as soon as he was aware of his surroundings he was kind of panicking.

“Hoooly shit,” he cursed, looking around the dense forest, an area he’d never been before because it wasn’t within the designated safety borders and Virgil was never really fond of the forest anyway.

Virgil was honestly so busy panicking he didn’t see the glowing yellow eyes in the trees, didn’t notice the movement of a thick tail loosening from a thick branch until there was suddenly a cacophony of crunching leaves and a thud on the ground in front of him.

He snapped his head up, hands pulling away from yanking at his hair to ground him while he breathed in through his nose and out through his mouth in calculated measures.

Except he wasn’t really breathing very evenly now, if at all, what with looking at a fucking half snake dude laying in the ground, arms crossed as he used them to prop himself up.

“What?” Virgil asked, letting out a disbelieving laugh because lamias were typically women, at least from the rare sightings humans had seen of them and also because lamias had never willingly showed themselves to a human before and he was a little worried about what that meant for his safety.

The lamia started speaking, and Virgil flinched back as pain threatened to split his skull in two at the sounds coming from the snake man’s throat. He stopped speaking, frowning for a moment before sighing.

“Want…” he started, a strange accent thick in the word, “want keep you?”

...What?

Virgil stared at the lamia, utterly perplexed that he was trying to talk to him in broken english. How the hell was he supposed to react to this?

Snake man huffed, pushing himself up until he was eye level with Virgil, making the slit pupils and scales decorating his face so much more detailed and…

Jesus Christ, Virgil was not gay for a snake, nope this was not happening.

“Want keep you. You dumb?”

Virgil snorted out another laugh, trying to keep it stifled because if he was attracted to a snake then yeah, he’d say he’s pretty fucking dumb.

“That’s… up for debate at the moment. Um… you. You want to keep me?” he asked, taking a step back when the lamia grew closer to him.

The movement made him narrow his eyes, and the next thing Virgil knew he was wrapping himself around him and he was suddenly encased in snake.

Virgil went red faced, letting out a small squeak because wow he was not expecting to be in this situation today. Granted, he hadn’t been expecting to meet a lamia ever, and yet here he was.

“You followed wisp. Found me. I want keep you, make safe,” he kept speaking, a forked tongue slipping out between his words.

Oh God, his pupils got big all of a sudden, was that a bad thing?

The lamia leaned forward suddenly, burying his face in Virgil’s neck and tongue ghosting over his neck, forcing another startled squeak from his throat.

“Smell good. Taste good. Look good. Let me keep you.”

Virgil found himself asking once again how the fuck he was supposed to react to this. A lamia found him attractive apparently? A monster… who’s kind had been typically caught eating men wanted to keep him, and apparently make sure he was safe?

What. What the fuck was his life right now?

“Okay well you suddenly got so much more personal than I have let even my last boyfriend get so maybe-” he cleared his throat, trying to ignore his burning face as he gently pushed the lamia’s face away from his neck, “maybe back up a little bit, dude.”

Snake man seemed to pout, but he at least followed Virgil’s guidance away from his neck.

“And also why? Like you’re cute, I can not deny that,” Virgil continued, trying not to get distracted by the pretty pink that dusted the lamia’s face at that, “but humans have found lamia’s eating men before and I gotta be a little worried about my safety here.”

Snake man shook his head, seeming irritated by Virgil’s words and wow, he could not help his concern for his well-being spiking at that.

“Only women and only human men who threaten safety. Still dangerous here, but I keep safe.”

Ah, well okay that was a little less worrying?

“And you are pretty. Prettiest human I’ve seen. Let me…” the lamia eyed his neck again, his tongue slipping out as he breathed deeply, “let me keep you.”

“You are really insistent on that, aren’t you?” Virgil asked, rubbing at his neck as his eyes dropped to the tail wrapped around his legs up to his waist.

His scales were a pretty shade of yellow, with paler patches littering his tail in random shapes, sizes, and placements. Virgil used his free hand to stroke over the skin, now distracted with the way the muscle seemed to contract under his touch.

The lamia hissed, and Virgil’s eyes snapped up to his face again to see a flustered expression.

“Oh uh… sorry, man,” he said, pulling his hand away.

Snake man shook his head, taking a moment to seemingly recover before he spoke up.

“Name? Need name to keep you.”

Virgil bit his lip, glancing around the forest as he thought.

That… would be interesting, but he wasn’t sure how he felt being ‘kept’ by a lamia when he had a life back in town. It wasn’t much of one, and he struggled to make ends meet more often than not, but he wasn’t sure how well he’d take to being away from people.

“Flattering offer, but I can’t really say it’s all that tempting outside of the pretty snake man offering it,” he said, looking at the lamia.

He frowned, leaning away from Virgil for a second as he thought.

“You keep me?”

Virgil spluttered, blinking rapidly as he jerked back the best he could wrapped up in lamia tail.

“What? Dude no, you’d literally be killed if someone found you and I’m not about to let that be on my conscience.”

He huffed, crossing his arms over his chest as his pout returned.

This lamia really needed to stop being cute so Virgil could stop dealing with the crisis of wanting to kiss him.

“Then stay with me,” he said, getting closer to Virgil’s face again, reaching a hand up to run it through his hair, a soft gasp escaping him and his other hand joining the first.

Was he… being petted by a snake?

“You haven’t really done much to sweeten the deal, snake man,” Virgil said, a little amused by his excitement over his hair.

The lamia paused, shifting his attention from Virgil’s hair to his face, though his hands remained buried in the strands.

“What?” he asked, making Virgil raise an eyebrow.

“Not sure what you’re asking, dude. ‘What’ is the vaguest possible question.”

“What did you call me?”

Well his english seemed to be getting better, at least?

“Snake man? I don’t exactly know your name,” Virgil answered, shoving his hands in his hoodie pocket so he didn’t do something dumb, like pet the guy’s tail again.

He hummed, going back to playing with Virgil’s hair.

“My language hurts you, name would be bad to say.”

Virgil thought at that, trying to keep his mind focused and not melt when the snake started digging his nails into his scalp, scratching the skin in a pleasant way.

“Can you like… translate your name to english? Since you seem to be able to speak it.”

The lamia paused at that, tilting his head and looking up at the treetops for a moment.

“Deceit. Closest word.”

Virgil nodded, gently pulling Deceit’s hands from his hair.

“Well it’s nice to meet you, Deceit, but I should really get home. It’s getting pretty late, and I’ve really gotta figure out how to get home because I’m honestly lost as fuck.”

Deceit frowned, looking at Virgil’s face in consideration.

“Stay with me for night. I will get you home tomorrow if promise to visit.”

Virgil weighed his options, letting out a sigh because his choice was honestly very small.

Either he got lost in a forest full of magical creatures that want to kill, eat, or keep him with malicious intent, or he stay the night with the lamia who had proven to at least not want to hurt him on purpose and go back home tomorrow so he can figure out how to work visiting said lamia into his not so busy schedule.

“Yeah, alright. I can agree to that.”

Deceit grew visibly excited for a moment before he cleared his throat and schooled his expression into a more muted eager one.

“Perfect. Will lead you to nest, meet pests who like visits.”

Virgil watched as Deceit’s expression grew into fond irritation at the mention of the ‘pests’ and he had to assume he probably meant friends. He could relate to that, Remy was the most annoying fucker in town but Virgil would honestly kill for him.

“Alright, Dee. Can’t really walk with you wrapped around me though.”

Deceit grew red, Virgil letting out an amused laugh as he uncoiled himself from around his legs.

“Sorry. Let’s go, before moon rise.”

Sometimes Virgil wondered what the point was, keeping themselves secret when all he wanted to do was let the kingdom know he existed and that he had power. His adviser and mage Deceit was usually pretty good at reminding him patience was a virtue but that didn't mean Virgil had to enjoy it, watching others do his dirty work for him.

Which was why he was grateful for times like these, when an idiot knight caught wind of suspicious happenings and ventured to places they didn't understand.

It was even better when the idiot knight was prince Roman himself. How sweet it was, tasting his fear, seeing his anger, hearing his taunts. Really, how wonderful it was, to see the kin of his love cowering on his marbled floor, putting up a front of bravery even with the chains binding his hands and the shackle on his neck to keep him kneeled to the floor.

Virgil watched him glare, amused smirk dancing on his features as he watched the princely knight glower at him, fingers tapping against the armrest of his throne.

He wasn't really one to be so extravagant, but the elegant setting pleased his lover, so who was he to protest?

"Say something fiend."

Virgil raised an eyebrow, the rhythmic tapping of his fingers halting at the first words spoken since the prince had given up shouting to be let go an hour earlier.

"I hardly think you're in a position to make demands, my prince," he said, using the title more as a mocking reminder of what Roman had done.

Roman's flinch was delicious, and Virgil's taunting smirk grew.

"Actually, I have someone who'd like to see you," he commented idly, shooting a glance towards his mage who rolled his eyes but rest his hand against his pendant, a soft yellow glow emanating from it.

Perfect, he would be here soon.

"And who would that be?"

Virgil's attention was quickly brought back to Roman, expression turning curious as he hummed.

"An old... friend of yours, we'll say. You'll know when you see him."

Virgil went quiet after that, watching Roman's confusion with a delighted smile of his own while he waited.

Soon enough, frantic footsteps could be heard from the hall outside the large double doors, and Virgil couldn't resist sitting straighter in anticipation.

"Spider!" a voice rang through the room, and Virgil's intimidating grin melted into a soft, loving smile at the sight of Remus, mud smeared on his face and dress in ruins.

"You've been out mudding again, haven't you love?" he asked, amused as Remus' grin turned into a beam.

"Yes! I got bored and it's fun watching the tailors get frustrated when I ruin something."

Virgil chuckled, gesturing for Remus to get closer, the man gladly following directions.

"I've got someone here for you, I'm sure you'll love to see him."

"Ohhh another knight to play with? Can I bash his head in with my morning star? Oh! Or maybe I can play with one of your torture toys?"

Virgil's amusement grew as Roman's face paled. Seemed the prince recognized his own brother.

"It's up to you, love. Why don't you take a look before you decide?"

Remus whirled on his heel in Roman's direction, freezing in place and smile dropping when he recognized who it was.

His hand rose to his face where scars littered the skin, one eye blind from a glass shard making it it's home for years before he'd found Virgil and Deceit.

Virgil forced down the anger he felt for the royal family, forced away the temptation to use his own magic and suck the life out of Prince Roman, who had done nothing for his brother.

"Roman," Remus greeted, the name cold and unfeeling.

Roman flinched, looking to the floor beneath him, unable to witness Remus' dirtied scars.

"...Brother."

"Don't call me that," Remus growled, stalking forward, hands clenched into fists.

"You lost the right to call me that when you let them chuck me out like trash because you were better and my ideas weren't humane."

Virgil watched his love advanced on the prince, doing nothing to intervene when he gripped at the other's hair and yanked his head up so he could look him in the eyes.

"Look at me, Roman. Was it humane to do this to a six year old? Was it ethical to torture a child for ideas that scared even him? Where were the morals, when my face was horribly disfigured and my eye blinded for the sake of banishing the evil out of me?"

Roman let out a broken sob, and Remus scoffed, letting go of his hair and backing up a few steps.

"You let it happen, Roman. I didn't even hear you try to stop them, and then I was left to die."

Remus turned to Virgil then, arms crossed over his chest and tears shining in his eyes as he got closer to him.

Virgil frowned, lifting a hand to gingerly trace his fingers over his lover's scars.

"Are you okay, love?"

Remus swallowed, leaning into Virgil's touch and closing his eyes.

"I- He's not a toy I want to play with, V," he said softly, voice hoarse.

Virgil's heart broke in his chest at the pain in Remus' face, a small smile growing when his lover pushed Virgil's hand closer to his cheek with one of his own.

"Surely you'll let me have my fun, then? I've had a personal vendetta against the royal family for years, I'd love an opportunity for some revenge."

Remus smiled at that, placing a kiss to Virgil's palm.

"Later? I only want you, Virgil."

Virgil felt a shudder go down his spine at the use of his full name, glancing at Roman in consideration before nodding.

"Of course, love. I'll have him in the dungeons for now while you have your fun."

Remus gasped in delight at Virgil's phrasing, excitement growing in his eyes that had Virgil's heart melting in his chest.

"I get to be on top this time?"

Virgil chuckled, pulling Remus in for a tender kiss.

"Whatever you wish, love. Anything for you."

Remus squealed, kissing Virgil again in his excitement.

He had to pull away, huffing a laugh at his love's pout, to look at the mage still settled next to the doors.

"Deceit? Would you escort our... guest to the dungeons? Remus and I would like some alone time."

Deceit rolled his eyes fondly, walking forward and resting his hand on Roman's shoulder.

"Of course, Virgil. You know how to reach me if you need anything else."

Virgil nodded and Deceit vanished with the prince in tow in a cloud of yellow and black smoke.

Once alone, Remus eagerly climbed into Virgil's lap, nuzzling his jaw.

"I love you."

Virgil melted, hands settling on Remus' waist as he felt the mud on his lover's face smear against his skin.