cas_moon

Jun-ho approached the two as the motorcycle came to a stop, his partner—a younger, less experienced officer trailed after him.

“You’re not wearing a helmet. Your license, please.” he took out a small tablet as the man cursed, eyes full of impatience and annoyance.

“Isn’t this entrapment? Hiding to catch people is shady. You want to squeeze money out of broke citizens?” the man scoffed.

“Your license, please.” Jun-ho ignored him and extended a hand out, waiting.

The man handed over his license begrudgingly as the girl sitting behind him on the motorcycle hopped down, giving the man a reassuring pat as if saying, “I’ve got this,” before coming closer to Jun-ho.

“Look, can’t you just let us go? I’m wearing one.” she gestured to her own helmet, giving it a steady pat.

“No, ma’am.”

The girl frowned, but took a second look at him and her eyes sparkled, peering at him. “Hey, you’re really handsome!” her voice tuned into a higher pitch at her excitement, as if she found some treasure.

“I could charge you with obstruction.” Jun-ho said dryly, checking the information on the small tablet in his hand.

“You’re a tough cookie,” the girl smiled wider, taking out her phone. She snapped a few pictures, striking different poses as Jun-ho tried to avoid the camera, his head ducked low as he scanned over the information shown on the tablet. The man on the motorcycle narrowed his eyes at the sight.

As the ticket printed out from a machine strapped to Jun-ho’s vest, the girl patted his shoulder. “Come on, get in here!” she leaned closer, but he stepped away to maintain a good distance, before walking over to the man.

Jun-ho handed the ticket to the guy. “The fine for not wearing a helmet is 20,000 won. Pay it on time.”

The man snatched the ticket away as the girl continued fawning.

“What’s your number? Are you single?” she squealed.

Jun-ho blinked, momentarily taken aback, before he smirked softly and raised his hand, the band on his finger glinting in the sunlight. “Happily married,” he said simply, his voice warm.

The girl’s excitement evaporated, replaced by a pout. “Seriously? Who’s the lucky woman?”

Jun-ho didn’t answer, instead he walked back to the squad car.

The man drove off on his motorcycle, a bitterness clinging onto him. The girl was startled and chased after the guy, shouting and exclaiming and throwing her helmet at him but missing while trying to catch up, her loud curses disappearing into the distance along with the motorcycle.

Jun-ho watched the scene unfold with an amused smile, shaking his head before getting back into the squad car. His rookie partner shot him a bewildered look. “Does that happen to you a lot?”

“More than you’d think. Just ignore them,” Jun-ho replied, settling back into his seat, looking down at the band on his ring finger as his eyes softened, already missing you.

They were driving back toward their usual patrol route when Jun-ho caught sight of a familiar car in the distance. It was yours, the unmistakable silhouette of the vehicle and the way it handled the road bringing an instant smile to his face.

“Pulling over for a second,” he told his rookie partner.

“What? Why?”

Without explanation, Jun-ho sped up slightly, falling into step behind your car before flicking on the lights. You weren’t speeding—you rarely did—but you pulled your car to the side of the road obediently anyway, your indicator blinking calmly, putting the car in park.

Jun-ho stepped out of the patrol car, smoothing his uniform. His partner stayed inside, fiddling with the radio.

He walked up to your window, tapping lightly on the glass, then gestured for you to roll it down. When you turned to look at him, he saw the way your eyes flickered in recognition and affectionate annoyance. He could already feel his heart melting.

You raised an eyebrow, playing along as you pressed the button and lowered the window.

“Officer,” you said, your voice laced with playful suspicion. “What’s the problem?”

Jun-ho leaned against the frame, speaking in a serious way, though the corners of his mouth twitched. “License and registration, please.”

You scoffed. “I wasn’t speeding. You know I wasn’t speeding.”

“You were driving suspiciously… within the speed limit,” he replied, his eyes sparkling with amusement. “Very suspicious.”

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t suppress a smile. “Am I really getting a ticket for obeying the law?”

“Yes,” he said, dipping his head closer, his voice dropping to a soft murmur. “But you can pay in kisses.”

Before you could respond, he leaned in through the open window, his lips brushing yours in a tender, stolen kiss. It was soft, warm, and lingering—the kind of kiss that reminded you just how much he adored you. When he pulled back, he waited for just a moment before stealing another kiss. And then another.

“Jun-ho,” you mumbled, your voice half-scolding but mostly filled with affection.

“One more,” he murmured, his hand resting lightly on the edge of the window.

You gave in, letting him kiss you again.

“That’ll cover it,” he said, his voice tinged with amusement as he pulled back, his eyes lingering on yours.

Just as he straightened, the passenger door of the squad car opened, and his rookie partner stepped out, looking thoroughly confused. “Uh… everything okay?”

Jun-ho let out a sigh, his expression shifting back to something more professional, though you could still see the softness in his eyes when he glanced at you. “Everything’s fine,” he said. “I’ll be there in a minute, go wait in the car.”

The officer hesitated but nodded, retreating back to the patrol car, leaving the two of you alone again.

“Guess that’s my cue,” Jun-ho said, his voice softening as he looked at you.

You smiled warmly. “I’ll see you at home.”

“I’ll be there,” he promised. “Sharp.”

With one last lingering look, Jun-ho stepped back, letting you drive off. He stood there for a moment, watching your car disappear down the road, his heart full.

He'd enjoyed his twisted happiness for several days until an unexpected early spring snowstorm rolled off the mountains, leaving the castle a veritable chamber of cold. For two days now it had nearly been cold enough for him to see the white puff of his breath inside. As others scrambled for a place in front of the fireplaces, his mood darkened, making him even more sullen than usual as talk of canceling classes and sending everyone home began to circulate; home wasn't really a place he was looking to go back to.

So now he was sat in the Great Hall in a large sweatshirt with his hood drawn up around his face, the standard dress code long since forgotten, one hand wound tightly around his second cup of black tea in an effort to warm himself while the other rubbed his tired face as he listened to the incessant chatter of his friends.

He was quietly zoned out until he caught a glimpse of you walking through the large entryway. Everyone in the castle looked in disarray: mismatched sweaters, hats and gloves in haphazard layers to stay warm, but not you, you looked like a perfect snowbunny. You were wearing tight black leggings, fur-lined boots, a thick sweater and a headband to keep your ears warm that complimented your hair. Anyone looking closely enough would see the imperceptible tug of his lips into what could almost be called a smile as you made your way to the Slytherin table and slid onto the bench next to him.

It wasn't lost on him that his best friend was beautiful. He was well and painfully aware of the fact and had been for as long as he'd known you. But, despite the thoughts that ran rampant through his mind at the sight of you, he was determined to keep you at an arm's length. Simply put, you were too good for him, too pure. You had a smile that radiated a warmth that he could feel even now, you were caring and compassionate, smart and sweet, quick with a hug and a kind word. You were everything that he wasn't. He told himself, constantly, on repeat, that it was better to have you in his life at all than to fuck it up trying for anything more.

He subtly traced your face through the corner of his eye: your long lashes, the curve of your smile, and your warm, rosy cheeks, and just like no one but you could see his smile, no one but him noticed the tiredness in your eyes. He nudged his shoulder into yours.

"Alright?" he mumbled.

You glanced up at him, his groggy morning voice and the way his curls stuck out from his hood making you feel like you'd swallowed a pixie. You felt yourself flush, your exhaustion wearing down the mask you normally kept up around him, determined to never let him know how you really felt.

"Just tired s'all" you smiled kindly, nudging him back, coaxing what could almost be another smile out of him as you met each other's eyes. "I can't sleep for shit. No matter what I do, I can't get warm, even under a pile of blankets, in my fuzziest pajamas and a jumper" you shivered.

"Skin to skin is really the only solution" Pansy chimed in with a smirk as she sank further into Draco's arms and you rolled your eyes at the two of them. She had snuck out of your room the last few nights, leaving you not only cold, but alone too.

"Couldn't agree more" Theo said, smirking, before lifting an eyebrow at you "ready, able and at your service, babe" he said, opening his arms to you as you swatted him away, laughing at his attempt to flirt with you. He smiled widely and laughed back before glancing over your shoulder at Mattheo whose eyes were narrowed in his direction.

"What, mate, it's not like you're any help, what with your strict 'no sleepover policy'" Theo chirped at him, referring to the fact that regardless of how many girls came in and out of Mattheo's bed, (which was a sizable number) not one had ever stayed the night, always kicked out in the end, despite the fact that they hoped to be the one to break his streak.

You turned to see Mattheo shooting daggers at Theo.

"S'my bed" he muttered, "more than happy to have someone in it for awhile, but a lad's got to get his rest, yeah?" he laughed and the guys laughed back.

You faked a bitter smile, returning your attention to your breakfast in front of you. You weren't naive but that didn't mean you had to sit here and listen to this, you nibbled a piece of dry toast, the mental image of Mattheo with other girls making you nauseous.

Mattheo's smile fell from his face as he watched your reaction, and wished for the thousandth time that he could tell you that he made that rule because of you. Because if he couldn't have you, then he wasn't going to waste time getting closer than necessary with anyone else; the nights he spent alone his bed his punishment for who he was, the fact that he'd never be good enough for you.

You stood abruptly and shot him a small smile as you moved to leave. He said your name quietly and reached for your hand, but you were gone before you realized it.

That night you crawled into cold sheets that felt almost damp with a chill. Despite the pile of blankets and your thick pajamas, you couldn't get warm or comfortable, tossing and turning as small shivers ran through your body and Pansy's words echoed in your head. You were desperate for warmth at this point, desperate for a good night's sleep, but there was only one bed you wanted to crawl into, and it was with the only person who refused to share it.

Surely he would break his rule for you, for his best friend? you thought; things were different between you two. But were you willing to try, to embarrass yourself if he said no? You rolled around for another hour before climbing out of bed.

Mattheo was in a fitful sleep, which was not unusual for him; his nights were frequented by nightmares, leaving him constantly groggy and grumpy, but when he heard your voice, he was sure he was dreaming, a good dream, a great dream at that.

"Mattheo" you were whispering.

He turned to see you standing at the other side of his bed and was incredibly confused, until you moved to get in... and then he panicked. He panicked because he had thoughtfully planned every way to avoid this exact situation from the moment he met you, knowing that at this proximity he wouldn't be able to control himself. And he was right. You were close, too close. He could smell your shampoo, like warm vanilla, and his hands moved on autopilot towards you, his fingers twitching to bring you closer to him before he stopped himself, inches short.

"Whatareyoudoing?!" he whisper-mumbled in frustration, the words coming out angrier than he'd intended at the range of emotions he was feeling.

You froze, your heart shattering. He was angry. He didn't want you here, he didn't want anyone here. He was going to kick you out and you'd be mortified, your friendship would never be the same, you'd taken things too far. You felt a scratch in your throat as tears threatened to spring forward.

Even in the thick darkness, Mattheo could see that he'd upset you, able to read your expressions better than his own. He could see the wobble of your bottom lip as your wide eyes looked at him and he hated himself and the situation all the more for it.

"Please Matty, m'just so cold, I can't sleep" you whispered, using the nickname that was strictly forbidden for anyone but you that made him melt.

He rubbed a hand over his face and sighed deeply, trying in his sleepy state to figure out a solution as he felt his strength waning; the figment of his every daydream was literally begging to be in his bed and he was certain he couldn't trust himself, certain that this only ended one way.

You took in his rigid form and his frustration and began to backpedal, moving to leave.

"M'sorry, it's okay, I'll go, maybe Theo—"

And you didn't even get a chance to finish your thought before you felt his large, warm hands wrap around your middle and tug you across the bed and into his chest, quickly but gently.

"C'mere" he mumbled as he settled you against him, chest to chest, your head tucked under his.

Your arms wound around him naturally, your legs intertwining, the two of you fitting together effortlessly, perfectly, like puzzle pieces. You let out a small giggle as you nuzzled into him, making yourself comfortable.

He could feel your warm breath as you let out a contented sigh, the innocent sound somehow sinful to his ears as he willed his mind to stop wandering in every direction it wanted to as he felt every dip and curve of your body against his own despite the layers of clothing between you. He kept his hands at your back, unmoving, for a moment unsure if he was even doing this right, unable to remember the last time he'd cuddled with anyone.

"Thank you" you whispered, your voice already sounding relaxed and sleepy to him as your fingers traced patterns on his back, a lavish feeling that released every ounce of tension he had been holding.

You could feel the steady rise and fall of his chest as his arms hugged you to him firmly and you felt a sensation like melted honey spreading through every inch of you, as he rubbed your back, warming you from your heart to the tips of your toes for the first time in days as you fell into a hazy sleep.

The first thought Mattheo had was that he felt heavy, his limbs felt weighted and his mind felt calm. Rested he realized after a moment. His brain was slowly turning back on, piecing together the dream he'd had, it was a dream, right? You, in his bed, in his arms, pressed against him, nuzzling into him, contented and happy. It felt so real, real enough that he could still smell you, the intoxicating scent of your shampoo, could still feel you in his arms, could still ghost his fingers down your back. You hummed in response and his eyes fluttered open only to realize it was definitely not a dream.

You were here, with him, in his bed, had been all night, your body still wound perfectly in his, neither of you having let go of one another or moved an inch; if anything, it was like you melded together even further. Fuck this is nice he thought as he looked down at you curled into his chest. This was everything, everything he'd hoped it would be. He wanted to stay like this for as long as physically possible, the looming fear of it having to come to an end already upon him.

Suddenly, a pillow came flying onto the bed, askewing the thick curtains that draped around his four-poster.

"Oi wake up, will you, Riddle? Shit, it's almost noon and we've got practice in an hour" came a shout as a cacophony of voices followed behind it into the room.

You stirred in Mattheo's arms just as a hand reached through his curtains to pull them aside.

"Oh. My. Fucking. Days" Blaise drawled, annunciating every word as the others gathered around him.

"I knew it, I fucking knew it"

"Let's gooooooo!!"

"Mattttyyyy!!!" each of them shouted as the jumped up and down in excitement at the sight of you in his bed.

"Fuck off" he said, grasping the pillow they'd thrown at him and hucking it back at them, causing them to disperse as they fell apart with laughter and more cheers.

He felt you shift next to him and looked back to see that you had pulled the covers over your head, just the tips of your fingers and the top of your head visible. He yanked his curtain closed before leaning back towards you and gently grasping the blanket near your hands to pull it back.

While not the wakeup you had hoped for nor expected, Mattheo pulling back the blankets with a soft sleep-ridden smile on his face and his rumpled curls to see you was a mental image that you were sure you would think about every day for the rest of your life. You were swimming in a sea of him, engulfed in his smell, like pine and amber, and you were delightfully warm; he was going to have to pry you out of here.

"Hi" he said quietly in his morning voice.

"Hi" you whispered back.

You looked perfect. He may have thought about waking up to you, with significantly less clothing on and significantly fewer onlookers, but he'd never considered how beautiful you would look, your eyes not all the way open yet, your hair spread like a blanket of its own and fuck if he didn't want to kiss you. His eyes drifted lazily to your lips and back again and he swore he saw a flash of something in your expression in response, curiosity, or perhaps confusion.

"I should—" he started, shaking his head clear.

"—Yeah, of course! Sorry, I didn't realize the time—"

"No problem, take your time—" he said as he rolled out of bed to more cheers and shouts as he shepherded his friends out the door to give you some privacy.

You pulled the sheets back over your heard, burying yourself further into his blankets, reveling in the warmth his body had left before squealing with excitement at the way your day had started.

You were afraid that things would be awkward, but surprisingly they weren't, you were in your easy, unbothered rhythm together. Besides the giggles and teasing from your friends, nothing had changed... including the temperature. As the day went on the warmth you had woken up in faded and you felt progressively more cold settling into your bones, already dreading the cold night ahead of you.

Spending the night with Mattheo was a nice reprieve, but not something you intended to make a habit of, certain you didn't want to live through more teasing nor get your hopes up trying to read into how intimate it had felt.

You were leaving dinner, arms wound around yourself at the chill in the air when you heard a voice calling for you. You turned to see Mattheo jogging after you.

"Hey!" he called.

"Hey" you smiled back, glancing up at him as he fell into step with you.

He smiled readily back at you; he'd seemed peppier today, letting the ceaseless taunting roll of his back with a shrug of his shoulders, the unwillingness to turn everything into an argument or fistfight very uncharacteristic of him.

"Yeah, so—" he started to say, as he looked around for a moment and carded his hand through his hair. He took in how cold you looked and all he could think was how badly he wanted to fix it. "—About last night or whatever...I know it's still fucking frigid, if you wanted to come by or sleep with, er, stay with — in my — yeah, you could do it again if you wanted?"

You couldn't hide the smile the spread widely across your face, nor the way your eyes sparkled mischievously as you stopped walking to face him.

"Mattheo Riddle, are you asking me to sleep with you?" you said flirtatiously, leaning towards him.

He stopped breathing. Your proximity and the words coming out of your mouth snatched every last breath and every last thought he'd had.

"Don't fuck around with me" he said through smirked lips, his voice low and measured, holding a hint of playfulness, but also a warning.

You laughed softly back but didn't back down.

"I'll see you tonight" you said as you continued your path back to the common room, leaving him gazing after you.

Your new outfit that night wasn't lost on him. You were wearing a form-fitting pair of soft pants and a matching top that hung slightly off your shoulder, revealing the lace of a bralette. You crawled into bed beside him, smiling contentedly and curling into his arms like you were married, like this was the most normal, easy, simple thing in the world, and yet it still took him a minute to really comprehend the situation, to relax.

He barely had a minute to catch his breath before Blaise shouted across the room, "Goodnight Theo!"

"Night, Blaise!" Theo shouted back.

"Night, Enz!" Blaise said again.

"G'night!" Enzo replied.

Mattheo rubbed a hand over his face at the antic.

"I swear they don't do this every—" he started.

"—Night, Draco!" Blaise shouted.

"And Pans!" Theo chimed in.

"Full fuckin' house in here" Enzo said.

"Goodnight!" she giggled back.

"Goodnight Mattheo..." Blaise said slowly, drawling out his name.

Mattheo didn't reply.

"GOODNIGHT YN" they each shouted.

You laughed, "Goodnight!" you said back and they cheered as Mattheo turned and buried his head into your shoulder in embarrassment, letting his body weight fall on you in exasperation.

You laughed at his reaction, instinctively bringing a hand to tangle in his curls and hold him to you before you could stop yourself. It was decidedly more intimate than anything that had happened between you before, but it had just felt right, something about pulling him into you, comforting him. You paused after a moment, catching yourself... running your hands through his hair should not make you feel this way; suddenly, you were very very warm.

As if he could sense your reaction, he lifted his head just slightly to meet your eyes, his face inches from yours.

He had to feel your heart hammering in your chest at this proximity, right? As he searched your face, it felt like a veil had come down between the two of you after a night spent together on top of years spent dancing around one another like you didn't know exactly what this could be. On cue, the room around you fell deeply silent as the others settled into sleep.

Your hand slowly dropped to trace his cheek.

"YN" he said in a low voice, cautious, guarded, his tone roughly translating to "Don't".

"What?" you whispered.

"I can't" he said.

"Can't what, Matty?"

The nickname made his heart beat double-time, an impossible feat based on the way it was already drumming loudly in his ears.

"You know what" he said sternly.

"Why?" you asked, innocently, the tips of your fingers moving to trace his jaw, nearing his lips before his hand grasped yours firmly, stopping you, making you jump slightly.

His body was rigid and taught, his expression was serious, maybe even threatening to anyone but you, but all you could see was the look in his eyes that were burning with something else, something much more passionate than anger.

His words were strained, like it was a physical effort to form them.

"I. Can't. Alright? Just let it go" he said as his eyes continued to beg otherwise.

Your next words were so soft, he almost didn't hear them, might have missed them if his entire being wasn't fine tuned to hear the exact phrase.

"Kiss me" you said, somewhere between a plea and a demand.

He caught your eye and his breath caught in his throat at the way you were looking at him: your eyes wide, soft and focused on him, your chest visibly rising and falling underneath him, your body pressing against him as you wiggled your hand out of his grasp to trace his cheek. Surely he couldn't have heard you right?

"I'm not—I can't— that's not a good idea. I can't just kiss you" he said, stumbling over his words uncharacteristically.

"Why?" you asked quietly, sadly.

"No—not—fuck—" he started and stopped, trying not to upset you again.

He paused, trying to collect himself.

"Why do you think no other girl has slept in this bed?" he said seriously.

You pulled your hand back at the mention of other girls at a moment like this, but he responded by reaching to cup your cheek, to force you to look at him.

You were shaking your head.

"Because if I couldn't have you, then I didn't want anyone else. You're fucking it for me, always have been, but girls like you don't end up with guys like me and it's best I don't waste your fucking time and ruin our friendship in the process, alright?" he said resolutely, with finality.

"Matty—" you started

"—Please stop calling me that, please" he said, slamming his eyes closed, "I'm trying to maintain a semblance of self control here."

"Stop holding back!" you whisper-yelled, which caught his attention, causing his eyes to flutter open. "That's what I'm trying to tell you. I want you. I've always wanted you, ask any of our thickheaded friends, they've all known for a long time."

He blinked slowly like each individual word had to register in his head. You could see him swallow, could see the sentence process in his brain as the pad of his thumb traced your cheek and you leaned into him, pressing further against him.

"Kiss me, Matty" you said.

And the last thread of his self control snapped. He leaned in, hovering close enough that you could feel the faintest touch of his lips as they ghosted against yours, teasing you.

"If I kiss you, that's it then, you're mine" he said, like it was a threat, an ultimatum, and not the best thing that's ever happened to you.

A smile spread across your lips and you nodded against his.

"All yours" you whispered back and he caught the last of your words with his mouth, his lips taking yours as both of his hands came to grasp your face firmly but gently, pulling you into him.

You could barely suppress the hum of pleasure that left you at the sensation, the relief of the feeling of his lips pillowed against yours, the tenderness and softness so opposite of everything that he was, the duality of it all had your body tingling. One of your hands grasped at his sweatshirt while the other wound around his neck, attempting to pull him impossibly closer to you as he moaned into your mouth. His tongue tangled with yours and you swore there wasn't anything in the world but this moment, this feeling with him as you tasted the lingering flavor of cigarettes and peppermint that you would come to associate with him.

It was all grabbing, desperate hands and crashed lips at first, trying in moments to catch up on years of wanting, until it was tantalizingly slow, languid, purely achingly perfect and intimate. You were certain you would kiss him like this every single day, given the chance.

It could have been minutes or hours that you were lost in each other before he pulled back, and the whine that left your lips at the loss of contact nearly had him throwing you over his shoulder and marching you to the first broom closet he could find.

"I've spent just about every day for the last 5 years thinking about this, and I cannot believe I'm about to fuckin' say this, but I'm not gonna rush it. At the very least, I'm not gonna hook up with you in a room full of people" he said, before tilting his head, "Well, at least not the first time... after that, no promises."

You laughed quietly and swatted at his shoulder.

"C'mere" he said, pulling you into him.

You curled into his arms, head nuzzling into his neck, your head resting on his chest as he held you tightly, brushing soft kisses to your temple as you fell asleep.

E P I L O G U E

You had been so caught up in the events of the evening, you hadn't really stopped to consider what happens next, namely, how would you tell your friends? Just make an announcement at breakfast? Put on enough PDA that they drew their own conclusion? Take off the scarf you were wearing that was covering the innumerable hickies on your neck? Your mind was in a heady fog about it all as the group of you wandered towards the Great Hall.

You were glued to Mattheo's side, but that wasn't really unusual; his fingers brushed against your own as he shot you a look out of the corner of his eye, a mischievous smile on his face.

"YN!" a voice shouted behind you.

You turned to see Cedric Diggory jogging towards you and you slowed your pace, as did everyone around you. Boys had to be either brave, stupid or naive to approach you when you were with your guy friends, and you weren't sure which category to put Cedric in as his eyes met their unwelcome stares but addressed you anyway.

"Sorry— yeah, I was just wondering if maybe you'd like to—" he started.

Oh no you thought.

"—Cedric, really, that's so kind—" you interrupted, trying to prevent a scene from breaking out as you felt Mattheo tense beside you.

"—You didn't even hear what I was going to say?" he said with a laugh, somewhere between offended, annoyed and amused.

"Well, think that makes the message pretty clear then, mate" Mattheo said, the anger palpable in his tone.

"Excuse me?" Cedric replied. "I was talking to—"

Oh no you thought again.

And you weren't quick enough to intervene before Mattheo had Cedric pinned against the stone wall of the hallway, his forearm at Cedric's chest, nearly lifting him off the ground as his feet dangled for purchase.

"I don't fucking care who you were talking to. From now on, you don't talk to her at all, alright?"

"What are you, her bodyguard?" Cedric sputtered as he gasped for breath.

"No" ... a pause... "I'm her boyfriend" Mattheo growled.

You tried and failed to hide the huge smile on your face behind your manicured fingers as your friends shouted behind you.

Well, that's one way to do it you thought. ♡

It's the morning of the second task, the day crisp and frosty, creating puffs of air as Mattheo huffed in exertion, marching down to the Black Lake surrounded by his friends. Suffice to say, he was pissed. It was fucking frigid outside and he hadn't seen you all morning, the combination enough to set him dangerously on edge.

You'd told him you'd come spend the night with him, and if nothing else you always ate breakfast together, so when you didn't show up last night and you were nowhere to be found this morning he was furious that you'd blown him off. Now he was spending his entire walk from the castle to the lake ruminating over it, piling on every perceived slight over the last few days, including the way he saw you talking to a group of guys from Durmstrang in the Great Hall yesterday, causing him to involuntarily curl his hands into fists at his side.

His friends walked beside him, surrounding him in a sort of semicircle, but moving in complete silence; they knew better than to try to say anything to him when he was in a mood like this. Before long, Pansy came running to meet them, nearly out of breath as she said, exasperated, "I couldn't fucking find her. She's not anywhere in our dormitory, in the library, I don't know where she's gone." Concern and frustration laced her voice as she looked at the group and then up at Mattheo.

This wasn't like you.

You had been Mattheo's #1 supporter throughout the whole tournament, helping him prepare, cheering him on, jumping into his arms the moment he'd defeated his dragon, and generally always glued to his side. In fact, you were always glued to all of their sides, the group of you being nearly inseparable, so having you missing made all of the boys feel shifty and on edge as they looked at one another.

Fear bloomed in Mattheo's chest. And the feeling of fear when it came to you did not sit well with him. He didn't want to feel afraid, to feel vulnerable when it came to you, so he opted to shove the feeling down, keeping instead with anger which was much easier and more natural to him.

"I don't have time for this" he muttered, quickening his pace as they all scrambled to keep up with him.

The biting wind whipped through his dark curls and stung his cheeks as he stood on the platform above the lake, staring into the middle-distance of the dark and choppy waves. Students and staff alike were cheering and shouting their encouragement for their champions, but he was completely zoned out, his mind bouncing back and forth between your lingering absence and the task ahead of him. He only perked up when Dumbledore's loud voice rang out over the crowd.

"Welcome to the second task!" it radiated.

"Last night something was stolen from each of our champions, a treasure of sorts—"

Mattheo's heart plummeted so fast into his stomach that he subconsciously grasped at his chest. A treasure? There wasn't a thing he owned that he valued enough to call a treasure, not a single thing in his life that held that much weight... except you. You were undeniably his treasure. He looked back into the murky water of the Black Lake... it couldn't be... he thought ... surely they wouldn't... as Dumbledore's voice continued.

"—These four treasures, one for each champion, now lie on the bottom of the Black Lake—" Mattheo's stomach lurched with what little breakfast he'd been able to eat as his eyes shot to Pansy's in the crowd in enough time to see her clasp her hand to her mouth as she pieced the situation together.

"—In order to win, each champion need only find their treasure and return to the surface. Simple enough. Except for this. They will have but one hour to do so and one hour only. After that, they'll be on their own. No magic will save them."

Mattheo's feet were moving before Dumbledore said another word, sprinting towards the water because fuck this stupid tournament, and fuck the geezer for thinking he could take you away from him, that he could put you in danger.

"You may begin at the sound of the cannon."

BOOM!

Mattheo heard the blast as his body hit the water, diving headfirst into the waves without bothering to cast a spell, without a care to what he'd find within the foreboding depths.

The cold shocked his system, but his heart was hammering for plenty of other reasons as he pulled his body through the fierce current, his strong arms and legs working against the waves.

For a minute he was surrounded in dark nothingness. He could feel rather than see that he wasn't alone in the water, occasionally sensing something moving on either side of him, but he didn't have time, you didn't have time for him to care. His lungs started to burn and he pressed his wand to his neck, casting a spell frantically so as not to waste another second.

After swimming at an impossible pace for so long he wondered if there even was a bottom to the lake, he heard an ethereal sound, like singing and changed course to swim towards it, which brought him to a large clearing where he could see merpeople swimming around. The few nearest him whipped their heads toward him, surprised at his presence as they turned to face him fully. He dared them, dared any fucking one of them to come near him, welcomed it actually, a chance to take out his rage, but they steered clear, perhaps sensing it would be a losing battle despite the tritons they carried and their razor-sharp teeth.

He swam on, his muscles straining, aching with the exertion of pulling his weight through the thick water at such an unwavering and desperate pace, but the feeling faded, drained from him, as four distinct figures came into view, four bodies, tethered and floating in the water, their hair moving eerily around their faces, their bodies stiff and still, like corpses.

He identified you immediately and he swam harder and harder until he was close enough to touch you. He brushed a hand against your cheek; your skin held a blueish tint and your face was expressionless, void of the smile that you always had for him, that reached your eyes, that lit up your face, the absence of it was enough to make his eyes sting in a way that had nothing to do with the brackish water.

He grasped your stiff form, the resistance of your body against his continuing to mess with his mind as he sent a spell to sever the rope that secured you and tried not to think about how rigid you felt in his arms.

His ability to breath underwater didn't matter for shit, because he was certain he didn't breath the entire way back, climbing harder and harder as he carried your weight with him, desperate to reach the surface, desperate to save you, thinking the entire time how fucking foolish he'd been to spend even one second mad at you today.

Finally, he could see the light of the surface, the grey clouds in the sky reflecting in the waves, and after a final series of strong kicks he broke through the current.

Immediately, he felt you come alive again in his arms, spluttering and coughing as you grasped for him.

"M-Matty!?" you said hysterically, the cold and fear in your voice setting his heart in a vice as your eyes fluttered open and you looked around in confusion at your surroundings. "What happened?! Where—?!"

"—It's okay, you're okay, you're safe" he said, pulling you against him, keeping you both afloat even as you rocked in the waves and he gasped deeply for air.

"C'mere, c'mon" he said, swimming with you in his embrace towards the platform, anxious to get you out of the freezing water.

The crowd had erupted into cheers when you'd breached the surface, and they were announcing that Mattheo was the champion by a long shot, not having been in the water for more than 20 minutes, the other champions still completely unaccounted for. But hearing talk of the competition and seeing everyone's ignorance about the whole situation as they clapped and smiled was pushing him to his limit as he hoisted you up to Pansy who greeted you with a thick towel.

Mattheo pulled himself out of the water, barely taking time to wrap a towel around his shoulders before grabbing three more and pulling them around you. You laughed under the heavy bundle, even as your shivering continued uncontrollably. "I-I'm okay, I-I'm okay" you said, trying to reassure him, even as you noticed that he wouldn't meet your eyes.

"Buncha fucking idiots" you heard him muttering as he rubbed your arms before he stooped down and swept you off your feet bridal style, one hand around your waist, the other holding on to your legs. The crowd cheered again, erupting in a sigh of "awws" at the gesture until he began barreling towards them.

"Matty?" you asked, concerned, "Where are we—?"

"—Anywhere but here" he growled as people began pushing each other to get out of his way.

"Mr. Riddle!" McGonagall chided, chasing after you both as you watched her from over his shoulder, urging him to stop as a couple of other professors followed in pursuit.

He veered towards the raised platform where the headmasters were seated, coming to a brief stop in front of Dumbledore who had stood to his feet.

"You are out of your fucking mind!" Mattheo spat at him.

Several people around you gasped, even Igor Karkaroff had the wherewithal to look surprised, impressed even, before Mattheo walked away, marching right off the platform and back towards the school as the entire crowd watched you go.

You could tell Mattheo was tired, beyond tired, physically, emotionally; you could feel his arms shaking against your weight.

"Matty, I can walk, it's okay" you said quietly, but he wouldn't let you go, wouldn't set you down, wouldn't even respond to you or meet your eyes. So you resigned yourself to resting your head on his shoulder, nuzzling against his neck which seemed to relax him a bit.

He carried you all the way to his room, making his way to the bathroom where he finally set you down and immediately began running you a hot bath. Wordlessly, he found a towel and a set of his clothes for you to wear, placing them at the edge of the tub before leaving without a word, closing the door gently behind him.

You looked anxiously at the closed door, aware that something was very very wrong, but also acknowledging that he might need a minute, and that you still couldn't feel the tips of your fingers or toes, so you resigned yourself to the hot water.

It felt heavenly, as did washing the muck of the lake off your skin and out of your hair. You reveled in the smell of his soap, like cedar and evergreen, but you were too anxious to sit there any longer than necessary, quickly pulling on his sweatpants and sweatshirt that engulfed your frame as you toweled your hair dry and pushed the door open.

Mattheo was seated at the edge of his bed, still dripping wet, his body shaking noticeably as he stared at the ground. He glanced up when he heard you, visibly relaxing a bit as he took in your warm, rosy cheeks and your soft smile, his mind flashing for only a moment to your unsmiling rigid form floating in the water, trying to reconcile that version of you with the one in front of him.

You approached him slowly, moving to stand between his legs as you took his face in your warm hands, tilting it to look at you. He had a strained, puzzled expression on his face as his eyes drank you in before his hands came to rest on your waist.

"Babe—" you started.

"—I love you" he said.

Your heart somersaulted over the words you'd never heard him say before as you let out a small breath, your hand moving to cover your mouth in shock as your eyes widened.

"I'm-I'm a fucking wreck for you" he continued, laughing humorlessly as he shook his head. "Today... really fucked me up. I thought I'd lost you, I thought..." he paused, getting quiet "...The way you looked down there, alone, miles under the water, surrounded by all sorts of shit" he shook his head harder like he could unlive the memory of it all.

"I should have told you sooner, because I've known for awhile, for a long fucking time, but I've been too scared to say it, too scared that you don't remotely feel the same way, but that doesn't matter anymore, nothing fucking matters other than you hearing me say it, today, every day, I love you, YN." His eyes met yours finally, wide and sincere. "With everything I've got, I love you."

"I love you too!—" you whispered, and the words were barely out of your mouth before he pressed his cold lips to yours, pulling you into him so tightly you let out an involuntary squeak as your arms moved to wrap around his neck and he fell backwards onto his bed, continuing to mumble against your lips "Iloveyou, loveyou, I loveyou", smushing your kisses with his affectionate words until you were laughing with joy, the sound finally reassuring him that you were his, and that you were okay.

♡

After his cruel statement echoes through his head for the fourth time, he finally snaps out of the self pity and rushes after you to the kitchen where you’re leaned over the counter, head buried in your hands as you cry.

“Baby, I’m sorry,” he apologizes quickly. He walks up from behind you and wraps his arms around your waist, resting his forehead on your shoulder blade. “I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry for everything I said, sweetheart.”

He turns you around gently and feels his chest tighten at how fucking sad you look. He never wants to see you like this. He never wants to be the cause of this ever again.

And when he looks to the side, his throat closes and dries completely at the sight of your engagement ring laying on the counter right behind you. 

“Are you sure you didn’t mean it?” You ask, wiping the tears away with your hand pointlessly as another stream follows right after. “Things like that don’t come out of nowhere.”

“I didn’t, love, I swear I didn’t. I’m so fucking sorry,” he breathes out, pulling you closer to him by your neck again. 

Never again. Never fucking again. He keeps telling himself in his head as he lifts your hand to his lips and presses a kiss to your knuckles, just where your ring was supposed to be sitting snugly. Then he lowers it and places your palm against his chest, right above his heart, and covers your smaller hand with his.

That was too close to losing you, and himself, for that matter. Because he would never recover if you were gone from his life and all because of him. 

“Then why did you even say it?” You sob pitifully as you feel the warm tears dripping down the tip of your nose.

“I don’t know,” he shushes you gently, trying his best to not break you any further. 

You pull away once you feel calm enough, hands clutching his t-shirt. “It's not too late to call off the wedding, Seung,” you manage out breathily, raising your palm to cup his cheek. “I'd rather not take the step further than have you unhappy.”

“Darling, no.” Heeseung bends down to minimize the distance between the two of you and peppers your face with loving, warm kisses. He just wants to erase those atrocious thoughts out of your mind as quickly as possible. “Please, there's nothing I'd ever want more than to make you my wife. That was stupid of me to say. I'll never be happy if I'm not with you, my love.”

“I just don’t want to force this marriage on you. You need to want it as much as I do, otherwise it’s pointless.”

Heeseung almost chokes on air when he rushes out his answer even before you can properly finish your sentence. “I do want it. Please, you have to believe me.” 

“Really?”

Heeseung smiles at you softly as he wipes your wet cheeks with his thumbs. “Really. Scout’s honour.”

You breathe out, feeling relief, and look up at him with squinted, puffy eyes. “Sometimes I just wanna strangle you to death, Lee Heeseung.”

He chuckles lightly before pressing one last kiss to your cheek. “Aren't you just so adorable? You should add this to your wedding vows.”

“Maybe I’ll add this to your eulogy instead if you pull shit like that again.”

Heeseung clicks his tongue with a grin pulling on his lips. “Touché.”

PARK JAY

The atmosphere in the living room is so heavy that your chest starts to hurt. You’re standing barely two steps away from the man you love the most, yet you’ve never felt more far away from him than in this moment. 

His eyes – cold but still undoubtedly full of love, drill holes in the side of your head as you turn your face away from him to try and gather your thoughts.

Arguments with Jay were rare. You always tried to work things out immediately, keeping your heads cool. But something has broken over the last month and you can’t see each other eye to eye anymore. At the very beginning of your relationship you made a promise to never go to bed angry. To never leave things unresolved. Yet now Jay’s been sleeping on the couch for the past week, and you fail to understand what the fuck has happened to the two of you. 

And you can’t help but think that, maybe, sometimes love is just not enough. 

“You’re not even trying to find the middle ground anymore. All you do is snap at me the second I come home. I’m fucking tired of it! Would it hurt to give it a rest for a day?” 

The tension is almost palpable. You hate how you can’t seem to back away from any argument but only keep hurting him instead. 

“Put effort into our relationship first, then we’ll talk,” you spit out instead, against your better judgment.

“It’s funny coming from you who’s done nothing but put a fucking distance between us!”

“This doesn’t make any sense anymore, Jay. We need some time apart,” you finally speak into the dull silence, eyes casted downwards at the floor as your hand keeps twitching, only to finally grab for your ring finger and slip the silver band off of it. You didn’t think much of your action, hell, you didn’t even process it properly. 

Well, not until you hear the shaky exhale leave Jay’s lips. 

Silently, he presses his lips together and nods his head before turning on his heel and leaving the room. You listen intently to the shuffling, then ringing of the keys and eventually the door being shut. 

A moment of silence turns into minutes of you staring at the ring on your palm with tears burning your eyes mercilessly. 

With your heart falling low to your stomach, you drop down on the couch and tug on your hair slightly, cursing yourself for acting so mindlessly. 

You wallow in self pity in the dead quiet room. The shiny ring feels so heavy and burning in your clenched fist. You take in a deep breath, then quickly slide the band back onto your finger, feeling instantly shielded with it being on its righteous place again.

And just like that, you spend the next three hours on the verge of losing your sanity. With no word from Jay. He’s left your messages unread. He’s left your calls unanswered. 

You don’t know whether he’s okay or hurt or simply gone. All that combined is enough to leave you panicked and terrified, unable to have a second of peace. 

You never meant to take it this far. This – your words and rapid actions, that will forever remain as one of your biggest regrets. You don’t like the idea that you made your other half feel like you’ve taken him for granted. Or for what’s worse, like a person that you can use for unloading your frustration on. 

There’s this throbbing pain in your chest as you realize that maybe he’s not coming back because why would he if you can’t even love him properly?

Your fingers are bleeding from how hard you’ve been picking on your cuticles. 

And then you hear the jingle of keys and soon the front door opens quietly. You know that even after all of this he’s still being careful to not wake you up. It’s killing you how he thinks you’d ever be able to get a wink of sleep without knowing he’s safe. 

You’re quick to drop your phone on the couch and shoot up on your legs, rushing over to the door and throwing yourself on Jay’s neck. 

“I was so worried about you!” You gasp out, clinging onto your fiancé desperately as tears unknowingly make their way down your cheeks. “Please, don’t ever do that again!”

“Sorry, my phone died,” he replies after a second or two, bringing his arm up to wrap around your waist and keep you close to him. 

He’s still upset but he understands where you’re coming from, knowing well that if it was you instead of him he’d probably go insane from worry. 

He can feel your heart hammering against his chest, so he lifts his hand and strokes your hair to help you calm down. But then you start crying, feeling his gentle touch even after everything you said, that was enough to push you over the edge. You clench your trembling hands on his sweater as you burst out with choked sobs, slouching against his warm and comforting body. 

“I’m sorry, ‘m sorry, ‘m sorry,” you weep into his chest like a mantra and Jay can quite literally feel his heart cracking at your miserable state. 

“It’s okay,” he whispers, hot air hitting your ear before he presses a soft kiss to its tip. “Don’t cry anymore, honey. We’re okay.”

“I don’t deserve that. I don’t deserve you,” you whimper quietly. “Please, don’t leave me.”

“Don’t say that,” he scolds you with a frown. Your whimpers twist his guts even more than your harsh words from before. “It’s not the first nor the last time we’ll have an argument. It’s not worth losing your pretty head over it, okay?” 

“I’m sorry,” you repeat one last time. “I promise I'll never take it off again. I’ll never lash out on you like that ever again too.”

Jay grabs your hand and runs his thumb over the thin silver band, the same one he was picking so carefully for weeks, and a small smile tugs on the corners of his mouth. He hates how shameful you sound. 

He’ll never tell you how the sight of you pulling your ring off your finger made him physically sick to his stomach. He can't have you feeling even worse than you already do. So instead he brings you close to him and rests his forehead on yours. 

“I’m so stupid,” you whisper quietly as you close your eyes, your heavy eyelashes letting go of another few droplets of crystal tears which Jay’s lips soak up instantly. “I don’t know what I’d do if you actually left.”

“You know me better than to think I’d let us break it off over such a petty fight.” And, yes, you do. But your lip wobbles with silent agony at the sole thought of that. “Hey,” he tries again as he presses a loving kiss to your red nose. “I’m not leaving, okay? How could I ever?” 

“I love you.”

With his thumb caressing your burning cheek so tenderly, you feel at peace again.

“I love you too,” he replies without skipping a beat. “No one can handle you as well as I do. And no one sees me for me like you do. We complete each other. We belong together.”

He kisses you silly then, until there’s no more tears left in your body and you’re barely able to breathe anymore. He kisses you until your legs give in and he swoops you up to carry you into your shared bed for the first time in what seems like forever.

He kisses you until it engraves in your mind that there’s no other person for him in this world but you.

SIM JAKE

“Baby, I already apologized.” A groan lingers at the back of his throat but for his own sake he stifles it inside. “I don’t know what else you want me to do.”

You sit on the edge of your shared bed and clench your fingers on the silky duvet. “How about you start showing up to things we both agreed on attending to?”

He runs his hand down his face. “I know. It just slipped my mind, that’s all. You know how busy I’ve been this week.”

“This shouldn’t be my business only, though. I mean, for christ’s sake, it’s our wedding! I would really appreciate it if you participated in something for once!”

Flowers and cake. That’s literally all you’ve asked of him to go and pick with you for the wedding reception. Knowing his tight schedule, you picked the date carefully so that it wouldn’t meddle with his work and you could even go grab some dinner afterwards. But your plans all went out the window when he didn’t even bother showing up or giving you a heads up text, standing you up yet another time when it comes to your wedding preparations.

You’re honestly getting tired of it.

“I’ll be there next time,” he assures you quickly as he nervously taps his fingers on the doorway of your bedroom. 

“You said you wouldn’t do that,” your voice wavers as your shoulders drop with resignation. With the back of your hand, you wipe off the tears that made their way down your cheeks. “You promised to help, Jake. But you left me alone with everything, as usual.”

“It’s not even that big of a deal. This can be rescheduled any time. Baby, stop stressin’ so much.”

“But it is a big deal to me!” You cry out, palm reaching up to pinch the bridge of your nose. You breathe out heavily. “I don’t want to do everything by myself! We’re supposed to be in this together! If getting married means that I’m gonna be alone with all the responsibilities that you don’t consider important enough, I’m not even sure I still want it.”

To back up your words, your hand moves half-consciously to your ring finger and you twist the cool piece of jewelry in between your fingers. 

“No, no, no, no.” Jake moves quickly, nearly tripping over himself as he rushes towards you to desperately clasp your hand in his two and stop you from whatever the hell you were about to do. He drops to his knees in front of the bed, right at your feet. “Baby, you promised you’d never take it off.”

You’re at a loss of words as you look into his wide eyes, the seriousness of your actions only catching up to you now. You gasp quietly, eyes watering just like his, quickly relaxing your tensed hand in his and letting him slide the ring back down your finger, just where it belongs.

Silence envelopes the two of you, besides the sound of your sniffles. 

You feel awful. 

Jake feels even worse. 

Leaning forward, you press your face to his shoulder and melt instantly when he brings a hand to caress your hair. 

“I'm sorry,” you whisper, clenching your hand to feel the cool ring against your skin. “I don't know why I did that. I didn't mean to.”

“I know,” he soothes you just as softly. He stands up from the floor and carefully maneuvers the two of you so that you’re placed on his lap as he sits with his back against the headboard. “It's my fault. I'm sorry. I never meant to disregard your feelings like that.”

At the end of the day, both of you would rather set themselves ablaze than watch the other one hurting. 

You nod silently, heart pounding in your chest before you bring your arms up and throw them over his neck.

“I’m sorry I was so impulsive.”

“No. You did nothing wrong.” His soothing voice carries over the room, enveloping you with warmth. “I promise I'll be here whenever you want me to from now on. I don’t want you to feel neglected by me, especially now when you’re this stressed over the wedding. I won’t let you down, again.” 

“I just need a little help, that’s all,” you mumble tiredly into his skin.

“I know.” His warm lips press to your forehead lovingly. “I’m sorry for being an insensitive douche. It won’t happen again. I’ll take some days off next week, hm?”

The tears on your face dry slowly as your hold on him tightens. “I’d like that a lot.”

“Then it’s done. I'll be all yours and you’ll be all mine then,” he hums and noses at your cheek, finally bringing out a small giggle out of you. After all these years, he still melts at the sound. “I won’t let things get this out of hand again, YN. I promise.”

“Okay,” you whisper. Tilting your head up and bringing his down towards you, you join your lips in a kiss that you’ve been longing for for days. His movements are slow and careful as he tries to soak up as much of the moment as possible. 

His kisses slowly put your broken pieces back together. He never knew how much seeing you cry like this would hurt him. And he’ll make damn sure he won’t ever have to experience that again for as long as you're with him.

“If I have a life to spend, it'll only be with you, sweetheart,” he lowers his voice to match yours, cradling your cheek in the palm of his hand. “You're it for me. I'll never give you a chance to doubt that ever again.”

PARK SUNGHOON

“You’re never home! There’s always a hundred things more important to you than spending an hour of your time with me. Your fucking fiance! Are we really about to get married when you’re clearly so tired of me already?”

Your heart pounds in your chest as you finally voice out everything that’s been sitting on your chest for the past month. Things have not been working out well with the two of you, much to your despair. He’s been neglectful, always too busy to help you with anything – even the wedding related things that you should’ve gotten done weeks ago. 

And you know that he’s swamped with work and it's not his fault. You understand everything. But to ask him to spare you an hour or two of his day shouldn’t be too much. It shouldn’t make him snap at you unlike what he just did the second he came back home. You slowly begin to lose your hope.

“God, have you always been this needy? Why can’t you accept that I can’t always put you first? No matter how much I’d want to, sometimes I just can’t! Deal with this!”

“Fucking- Fine.”

Your hand moves quicker than your brain, and the next thing you know, your shiny ring is being pulled off your finger and resting in the palm of your other hand. 

You can see the disbelief flashing through his face briefly before it completely morphs into a scowl. 

“You really think that this will solve the problem?” He asks, eyebrows narrowed as he glowers at you from across the room. “Really? Does that ring mean so little to you that you go and throw it away with any minor inconvenience?” 

You try to blink away the frustrated tears, hand raking up to brush your hair away from your face. “No, fuck, I just- I don’t know what to do anymore, Sunghoon. I feel like I’m the only one in this relationship. I need you to give me something more because whatever you’re doing now is not enough for me.”

“Well, I’m putting out everything I have, YN! I love you! If that’s still not good enough for you, then maybe it’s not meant to be.”

The silence that falls in the room doesn’t last long as your sudden sob pierces Sunghoon’s ears quickly, making his stomach drop to the soles of his feet. His heart wrenches and twists as the anger simmers down and evaporates from his body within a second, and he’s quickly coming back to his senses at the sight of you breaking down right in front of him. 

“Can’t you just try?” You cry into your hands, shielding your face away from your fiance. “That’s all I’m asking of you. Is it really so hard to try?”

No, it’s not. Sunghoon knows it without a second of thinking. It’s not too hard to try, never if it’s for you. And his throat dries so quickly when he basks in the weight of his words that finally made you break as well. 

“You don’t know how much it hurts to feel like you’re too much for your partner,” you wail with a small voice, shoulders trembling and hands quickly getting damp with tears. “You’ll never know how it is to feel unwanted, because you’ll never have to when you're with me. Because I love you, asshole, but now I’m doubting if you’re saying it back just for the sake of it.”

With air getting stuck in his throat, Sunghoon looks at you wide-eyed before quickly crossing the living room and enveloping you in his arms. His warmth wraps around you in what you've always considered to be safety, but now it just makes you cry more. 

He finds it hard to breathe. The hesitation in your eyes feels like a stab to his chest.

“Of course I still love you,” he says, voice muffled by your hair. 

He hates how he made you feel the opposite. He hates how you’re right and he never had to worry about any reassurement of such kind from your side because you’re just that good to him. And his heart breaks with the realization of how much of a lousy partner he’s been to you when all you ever were was nothing less than perfect.

So he places his hand on the back of your head and presses you even closer to his shoulder as you cry, his own eyes burning with tears at the sound of your sobs and sniffles. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, my darling,” he apologizes with a heavy heart, fearful of what’s about to come next. “I didn’t mean to neglect you this much. I could say that I’m tired and the work has been a lot lately, but I know these excuses are not enough to make up for my actions.”

You’re mad and hurt, but you love him and would never want to give up on him, so you wrap your arms around his middle and hold him almost as tight as he holds you, burying your wet face in his chest. 

“I love you more than anything, YN.” He pulls away from you only to cup your face and make you look at him. His long fingers wipe away the tears with gentle touch, soothing your stinging skin instantly. “You could never be too much for me. I want all of you. I promise I’ll do better. I’ll love you better.”

And when you’re looking up at him with these shiny eyes of yours, he closes the distance and presses a loving kiss to your swollen lips, hoping to take at least some of the pain away. He doesn’t think he can hold you any tighter. He can’t love you any stronger than right now, and it messes with his head how easily he could’ve had it all ruined only minutes ago. 

He’ll never take your love for granted ever again. Because if he did, he’d never be able to pick up the parts of whatever was left of him, and put himself back together ever again. 

You can feel his warm hand opening your closed palm before he takes the ring you've been clutching so tightly and holds it in between his fingers. 

“Can I put it back on, baby? Please.”

You nod wordlessly while you try to tame your tears. You hold your slightly trembling hand up to him. He takes it, gently, and watches as your bottom lip wobbles while he slides the ring on your finger just like he did months ago. 

“I'll never screw up like that again. You have my word for it.”

You sniffle quietly when he kisses you right on the cool band adorning your skin. “You better not, Park Sunghoon.”

His long fingers caress your cheek, wiping the remains of the tears away. “Can you forgive me, darling?”

You don't need to think long of an answer. “You know I can never stay mad at you. Even if you're a idiot, I'll never stop loving you. You have my whole heart, Hoon. Please, don't ever make me regret trusting you with it.”

permanent taglist + taglist: @bambisgirl @arizejkt19 @luvmura @milisabunny @cathy-1997 @satoruskitchenrag @ramenoil @jenjnk @jaylaxies @yoongspi @nichoswag @s00buwu @dazzlingligth @goreconsumer @i4kt @heehoonsnemo @seongslutt @seongclb @iamnotalicia

The large bedroom was filled with the soft glow of candlelight, casting a warm, golden hue over the elegant space. Y/N sat at the edge of their grand four-poster bed, dressed in a flowing black gown, her hair pinned up in intricate waves. Everything was nearly perfect, except for one thing—her heels.

She frowned as she attempted to slip the sleek, strappy heels onto her feet. No matter how much she wiggled her foot, the buckle wouldn’t seem to cooperate. After several frustrating minutes, she let out a quiet, exasperated sigh.

Unbeknownst to her, her husband, Tom Riddle, had been in a meeting just down the hall, surrounded by his Death Eaters, discussing the final details of the upcoming event. But Tom, ever in tune with Y/N’s presence, had placed a subtle spell within their quarters—one that allowed him to hear when she needed him most.

The soft sound of her sigh reached him, and he instantly stopped mid-sentence. The Death Eaters exchanged puzzled glances, wondering why their Dark Lord had suddenly gone silent. But Tom didn’t offer an explanation as he stood abruptly from the table, a sense of urgency pulling him toward his wife.

In the bedroom, Y/N was still struggling with her heels when the door creaked open.

Startled, she looked up and saw Tom stepping into the room, his usual air of authority softened by the affectionate glint in his eyes.

Without a word, he walked over and knelt down in front of her, gently taking the heel from her hand.

"Let me help you with that, darling," he murmured, his voice low and smooth, as his long fingers deftly worked the buckle into place.

Y/N’s breath caught for a moment as she watched him, surprised at the sudden tenderness from the man who commanded so much fear and respect from the wizarding world. But here, with her, he was different—more attentive, more human.

He lifted her other foot, placing it gently in the heel, and his touch sent a warm shiver up her spine.

"You could’ve just called me, you know," he added with a small smirk, fastening the second shoe with ease.

Y/N blushed, her lips curving into a soft smile. "I didn’t want to disturb you. You were in a meeting."

Tom stood, his tall form towering over her for a moment before he leaned down to press a brief but lingering kiss to her forehead.

“You’re never a disturbance.” His eyes gleamed as he took in her appearance, clearly satisfied with the way the dress hugged her figure.

Just as they were sharing the quiet moment, the door flew open again, and three Death Eaters—Lucius, Bellatrix, and Dolohov—rushed into the room, looking confused and slightly panicked.

“Lord Voldemort, why did you—?” Lucius began, but his voice trailed off the moment they saw Tom standing over Y/N, the heels now perfectly in place.

Tom straightened, his expression unreadable as he glanced over his shoulder at them.

With a smirk dancing on his lips, he casually said, “My wife needed some help.”

Y/N’s cheeks flushed an even deeper shade of pink, heat rushing to her face at his words. She hadn’t expected him to announce it so boldly, and the fact that he had only made her heart swell with affection.

The Death Eaters blinked in confusion, clearly not expecting such a domestic interruption to their Dark Lord’s meeting.

Bellatrix, usually one to interrupt without a second thought, remained silent, unsure of how to proceed.

As if unfazed by their presence, Y/N stood gracefully, walking over to the ornate mirror by the dresser.

She glanced at her reflection before turning back to Tom, holding up the delicate necklace he had gifted her for the ball. “Could you help me with this?” she asked softly.

Tom’s smirk widened as he took the necklace from her hands, ignoring the Death Eaters' quiet protests behind him.

“Dark Lord, we—” Dolohov tried again, but Tom raised a single hand, silencing them with ease.

He focused solely on Y/N, stepping behind her and gently sweeping her hair aside. He fastened the intricate necklace around her neck, his fingers brushing lightly against her skin.

Once the clasp was in place, he let his hands linger for a moment before lowering his head to place a possessive kiss on her neck.

Y/N closed her eyes, leaning into his touch, feeling the warmth of his lips against her skin. Her heart raced slightly, a smile tugging at her lips as their eyes met in the reflection of the mirror—a silent exchange that spoke volumes.

She adored these rare moments where the rest of the world faded away, and it was just them.

Tom pulled away reluctantly, turning back to his followers who stood awkwardly at the doorway.

His expression hardened, but there was still a glint of amusement in his eyes. “Five more minutes,” he said coolly. “Don’t want to keep my wife waiting.”

The Death Eaters exchanged nervous glances, not daring to argue with their master as they nodded and slowly retreated from the room.

As they left, Y/N couldn’t help but laugh softly, shaking her head at the scene.

Tom turned back to her, his smirk never wavering. He took a step closer, his fingers brushing her cheek as he looked her over one last time.

“You look beautiful, as always, love,” he murmured, his voice filled with a rare warmth that only she was ever privy to.

Y/N grinned, reaching up to smooth the front of his robes before standing on her toes to press a gentle kiss to his lips.

“Thank you,” she whispered, her eyes shining with affection.

With one last lingering glance, Tom reluctantly stepped away. “I’ll see you soon,” he promised, heading toward the door.

Just before leaving, he cast one more glance over his shoulder, his eyes locking with hers. “Five minutes,” he said with a smirk, “and I’ll be back by your side.”

“Wait, dude.” The other guy chuckled, almost in shock. “You mean that Y/N? Riddle’s girl? You tried to hit on her? Nah, you better drop that shit. It’s like serious between them and all, no one usually bothers her because Riddle goes crazy about it.”

“Don’t care, man. I’ll find a way to get to her. I know she’s gonna be a total freak in bed, I will find a way to fuck her.“

Mattheo just snapped, jumping out of his place in a matter of seconds. Before one of his friends or even Eddie realized what was going on, Mattheo had already dragged him to the floor, punching his face. 

“Wanna repeat what the fuck you just said about her?” He hissed at the guy, making another hit into the jaw. 

“I said that she looked fuckable.” 

It turned into a total mess, with them fighting on the ground and other students staring like it was some kind of show. The crowd got bigger, but Mattheo did not care about it at all; he was too busy with the way his knuckles met that ugly face. 

Only a few minutes later, Blaise, Theo, and Draco dragged Mattheo away, while a few Ravenclaw students restrained Eddie. 

Mattheo was almost uncontrollable, puffing and trying to escape from the firm hands that were holding him in place. 

You heard that your boyfriend got into another fight, but as Luna said, it was something bigger and that he was even more violent today. 

You brushed through the crowd, immediately standing before Mattheo’s eyes to catch his attention. You placed both of your hands on his chest and quickly nodded to his friends to let him go. As soon as he became free, he tried to push forward, almost radiating anger. The fact that Eddie was proudly smiling behind your back did not help the situation. 

“No. Mattheo, stop it. What’s going on?” You felt the way he was breathing, as if he had run a few miles, and it was mostly anger. His face had a few drops of blood; the brow and lip were cut, and you knew that you would have to clean them up later, but now you only wanted him to calm down and speak to you properly. 

“Hey, baby. Remember me?” The voice behind your back made you turn your head around, only now seeing the guy your boyfriend was fighting with. It was a new student from another school who was annoying you during your class and almost got you two in detention. You wanted to slap him so badly for the way he was talking to you, but you knew that the best way to deal with such people was to ignore them. They were always thriving on any type of attention. He looked much worse than Mattheo. Already blossoming bruises under his eye, on the jaw, and blood running out of his nose, and when he gave you that nasty smile, you saw his red teeth too. "C'mon, that’s why you were ignoring me, huh? Voldemort’s son? You could find someone better to fuck.”

“I’m gonna fucking kill him.” You felt how Mattheo moved forward again, but you slightly pushed him back. You lifted one of them to his cheek, caressing it in slow circles. 

“No, you’re not. He's not worth it, Matty. Hey, look at me, please.” You put a slight pressure on his face to distract him and make him set his eyes on you. You had seen him during the fights before, but this time it was different. The way Mattheo’s eyes were completely dark, slightly narrowed, and full of rage, his face expression was so cold and nothing like you got used to. For a moment, you understood why sometimes even his friends preferred not to step in. 

Eddie pissed you off during the previous lesson, where he decided to sit with you, chat, and flirt. You tried to pay as little attention to him as possible, completely uninterested in the jerk with no manners and a big ego. He got to school just a few days ago but you already hated him with your whole heart. 

Though you couldn’t let your boyfriend start the fight again. Eddie was clearly provoking him with that weirdly satisfied grin on his face and rude words, probably so later he could say that the Dark Lord’s son was trying to kill him. 

Mattheo's eyes were ruining between your face and Eddie behind your back, as if he were trying to make a decision. Your fingers didn’t stop moving in slow motion on his jaw and you thought that you felt some tension leaving his body. 

“I hate the way he was talking about you.” He said it roughly, trying to control his body and emotions. Yes, Mattheo’s eyes were full of anger, but there was something deeper. He was hurt. 

“I know, Matty, I know.” You stepped a bit closer to distract your overprotective boyfriend. At that moment, you almost forgot that you were in front of everyone and all the students are going to gossip about your interaction for the next week. “He’s provoking you. He wants to make you the bad guy. Don’t let him do that, please. We should just leave, okay?” You almost whispered, not breaking eye contact.

“Yeah, Matty, listen to your little girlfriend if you don’t want to—”

“Mr. Carmichael!” The loud, stern voice of Professor McGonnagal interrupted whatever he wanted to say and everyone went quiet for a few seconds. “You are not allowed to speak in this tone inside our school. Mr. Carmichael, Mr. Riddle and Ms. Y/L/N, follow me to my office, and everyone else must go back to their classes.”

“But Professor, Y/N didn't do anything wrong!” Mattheo protested, on instinct, placing his hand on your back and stepping closer. 

“I said all three of you should go to my office, Mr. Riddle. Now.” Without another word, she left. Mattheo cursed near you, blaming himself for getting you into trouble, but you gave him a reassuring smile and, interlacing your hands, led him to McGonnagal’s office. 

As soon as you walked in, Mattheo stood, separating you and Eddie so he wouldn’t be able to talk or even look at you. 

“Are any of you willing to tell me what exactly happened there?” McConnagal sat in her chair, observing all of you. You stayed in front of her in silence.

“I punched him because he was saying inappropriate things about Y/N, Professor.” Mattheo briefly looked at you and you slightly squeezed his hand in yours in return. You saw how McGonnagal looked at your hands but you did not pull away, willing to show your boyfriend that you weren’t mad or blaming him. 

“Is that so?” She looked at you. 

“I wasn’t there when the fight started, but Eddie was bothering me earlier during the lessons. He made a few comments about me, even though I asked him to leave me alone, so I assume that it might’ve been the reason for Mattheo to do it.” 

“Liar.” 

“Mr. Carmichael, you are not in the position to talk back right now. That is quite impressive that you were able to get into the fight without even being here for weak. You are getting a detention, plus you’ll help Professor Snape after tomorrow's lesson. He’ll be happy to deal with you, I’m sure. Also, 20 points from Ravenclaw.” McGonnagal ignored his dramatic groan, now looking at Mattheo. Judging by the tension in his body, he was ready for the worst. “What about you, Mr. Riddle…” She briefly looked at you, and you didn’t really understand what it meant. “This time, I’m only giving you a warning: in Hogwarts, we do not support any kind of violence. You may be free.” 

“That’s unfair! I’m covered in blood because of him. Are you really not going to punish the Dark Lord’s son? He could’ve killed me!” 

“One more word and I’m taking away more points. You both are free, but you, Ms. Y/L/N, please stay for a few minutes.” 

“But she— Professor, please don’t do this.” Mattheo stepped closer to her desk and you thought that he sounded as if he had suddenly panicked. It was strange. 

“Hey, Mattheo, don’t worry about me. I promise, it’s okay.” You pulled him back, curiously looking at his weird behaviour. “Just wait for me outside, please. It won’t be long.” He stared at you for a moment, but then kissed you on the cheek and went out of the room. 

“It’s truly magical to see the kind of love you two share, my dear.” McGonnagal softly laughed and you felt the heat on your cheeks. “Come sit here, please.” McGonnagal pointed to the chair in front of her desk. 

“What did you want to talk about, professor?” 

“Well, I know that this is not my place to interfere, but I wanted to say that you and Mr. Riddle share something really rare and special. And while I do not support his physical way of dealing with problems, I know that he deeply cares about you, darling, and this is how he expresses it.” It was weird to hear such words from someone else. You always respected Professor McGonnagal and the fact that she said that made your heart fill with even more love. 

“Was it the reason why you didn’t punish him for the fight?” She nodded. 

“Mattheo is a really smart boy with a kind heart and a good chance to have a really successful and wonderful life. The only thing that may ruin it is his family; I'm sure you understand that.” McGonnagal looked at you with a soft smile on her lips. “I see the way you affect him. How he became less distant during the lessons, started smiling more, and that you two are always connected no matter what. Everyone noticed it, even us professors. You may be the only bright thing in his life, my dear; that’s why I want you to ask to be there and not let him slip into the darkness. I just know that such love is so pure and strong and I hope it’ll live as long as the world exists.”

“Um– thank you, professor. I don’t even have enough words to express myself, but I appreciate your support. I’ll do everything in my power to save it.” You suddenly felt extremely emotional after this talk, and the only thing that you wanted to do right now was to be in your boyfriend’s arms. 

“Now go. He's probably losing his mind because of you being there for so long. 

Mattheo did wait for you near McGonnagal’s office and when you walked out of there with slightly glossy eyes and a soft smile, his facial expression changed into something sad and cold, which you did not quite understand. As usual, after his fights, you went into his dorm, but the walk there was weirdly quiet. 

When you walked into his dorm and then to the bathroom, where you usually cleaned his wounds, he just followed you, hopping onto the counter near the sink and waiting while you prepared the first aid kit.

“Are you okay?” You stepped in between his legs, holding his face with your left hand and the wet towel in the other. You wiped the dried blood and then applied salve. “You’re acting kind of weird.”

He stayed silent for a few seconds, as if he were considering his words. “Are you going to break up with me? If so, then just say it right away and don’t torture me. I fucking hate it.” His eyes were locked on your necklace with the letter R, while your hand froze in the air in shock. 

“Wh– Matty, what are you talking about?!” He finally looked up, meeting with your eyes, and you understood that he was trying to be casual and careless about it, but in fact he looked hurt.

“Isn’t it why McGonnagal asked you to stay? To say that I’m bad for you or something.”

“This is why you didn’t want to leave me there? I saw the way you looked at me… Oh, baby, no, I’m not going to break up with you.” You gently cupped his cheeks; now the tension had partly left Mattheo’s body and he finally put his hands on your waist. “In fact, McGonnagal told me quite the opposite.” Your fingers gently rubbed a bruise on his jaw while he looked at you in disbelief. 

“What do you mean?” Mattheo slightly frowned. His hands unconsciously tightened around you, causing you to step even closer to him. 

"Well, she said that you are really smart and that you have a lot of opportunities in the future if you’ll make the right decisions. She told me that you need someone like me to be here for you… and that what we have is really pure and magical.” You almost whispered the last part. The silence in the bathroom became almost too heavy, and the way Mattheo was looking made your stomach tighten with a weird feeling. 

“I thought she hated me.” 

You shook your head. “There’s no reason for her to hate you, Matty. You are not your family. You can live your life how you want to, without any burden or darkness, and I’ll be here for you. Always.” Mattheo’s hand reached for your face, slowly touching your skin. He looked almost mesmerized by you—those pretty brown eyes soft with so much love and feelings for you. 

“Merlin, I don’t know what I did to deserve you.” He drew you closer, your foreheads touching in an intimate gesture. “I love you so fucking much. You’re my everything, Y/N. I know that it might be hard dealing with me, but I’m trying. For you. And I’m sorry for today. I just cannot let anyone disrespect or hurt you, my love.” 

“That’s okay. I’m not mad. Just don’t want you to get hurt too. I love you, Matty. No matter what.” You smiled, closing your eyes, and finally properly kissed him. It was slow and delicate and it felt as if that moment was so significant for your relationship. You were always sure of your’s and Mattheo’s love, but right now it has become serious on another lever. And both of you could not be more happy. 

Mattheo kissed you passionately, pulling you in close and sliding his tongue across your bottom lip. You moaned into his mouth, burying your hands into the messy curls and scratching the scalp. “I hate to say it, but you actually look kind of hot when you’re fighting…”

“Fuck, baby. Let’s stay here for the rest of the day and skip the classes. I want you so fucking bad.” He groaned, lowering his mouth to your neck.

“Are you trying to seduce me, Mattheo Riddle?” You pushed him away, slightly pulling his hair to enjoy those glossy dark eyes and swollen lips. 

“What if I say yes?” Mattheo’s hand slipped under your skirt, teasingly stroking your thigh. 

You almost bump into him when he stops dead in his tracks. "Understand? What is there to understand?" he states in a whisper, his voice uncharacteristically calm for someone that's so very clearly furious. It scares you. Your chest feels tight as he turns around and when thunder crackles in the sky, you jump.

"He touched you," Pain taints his voice and your eyes soften, "Rosier had his dirty hands all over you and you didn't even try to stop him."

You shake your head and your hands move to hold his cheek but he turns his head away, "I didn't want him to touch me! I s-swear," you try to explain desperately, "I just, I just wanted you to see me and — " You start but James interrupts you,

"Y/n, how can you say I don't see you? I love you! You're the only thing I see."

You feel like you're slowly losing your mind, "Then why don't you show it anymore?" Thunder claps again and rain hits your skin like small knives. You don't dare make a move as you remain frozen under your boyfriend's harsh stare.

"I show you I love you plenty," he defends.

You feel exhausted and your words come out jumbled, "No, you don't. I almost never see you anymore and tonight you spent all evening with your friends. I-I wore this stupid dress for you," You show him your dress and he looks at you with round, frustrated, eyes, "And you couldn't even compliment me."

James runs a hand in his damp hair and tugs at his curls in frustration, "I tell you you're beautiful all the damn time." He insists and you shake your head furiously.

"You haven't complimented me in weeks!"

James doesn't move and you can almost see inside his mind. He's thinking hard. "I haven't?" he asks slowly, genuinely trying to understand and remember.

You turn from him a little, tears pricking at your eyes. You close them, trying to erase what had happened at the party earlier. The music, the dancing, Rosier's lips against your ear, his hand on your arm,

"I can make him jealous, you know."

You had jumped, the drink in your hand almost falling to the floor. Evan held your hand and smirked his infamous smirk. "What?" you asked, your voice small as it's drowned out by the music.

Evan pursed his lips and ran a hand in his hair. "Your boyfriend," he said with venom and glanced at James. James, who was across the room with his friends, laughing loudly with his arm swung around Sirius's shoulder. You had blushed, a familiar pit forming in your stomach. You grasped your dress as Evan continued, "I can help you make him jealous."

In a moment of weakness, you looked at him and asked, "How?"

And then his body was pressing yours against the wall. Stunned, you didn't have the time to process what was happening as Evan's hand swept up your side and he whispered, "Let me show you how gorgeous you look tonight, Y/n," his voice was smooth as honey but his teeth nipped at your neck.

You made a small gasp when his lips found the corner of your mouth and just as your hands touched his chest to push him away, he's yanked away by his collar. James looked furious as he punched Evan and the party came to a sudden halt.

"She wanted me, mate," Evan said through a busted lip and, judging by the guilty look on his face, James believed him. James hadn't said a word to you as he dropped Evan and stormed outside. You ran after him, desperate.

Your eyes open and a tear slides down your cheek as you answer James, "No. You haven't. Not in a while. You barely even make time in your busy schedule to make conversation with me. I-If you don't want me anymore, you can tell me and," your voice is trembling and you have trouble finishing your sentence, "and w-we can break up."

James's entire face drains of color hearing you and his eyes widen. His hands shake as they find your cheeks and he moves in closer.

He looks you over, his lip trembling. "I'm so sorry," his voice is a mere whisper as he continues to look at you. You can see his mind racing, his eyes moving quickly over you as he searches your skin. "Y/n, did he hurt you? Rosier — did he hurt you?"

James leans his forehead on yours when you shake your head no. "Shit, baby, I'm such an idiot," he sounds desperate as his hands sweep up your arms and he looks at your body. "You're so stunning, Y/n. So beautiful all the fucking time. I'm so fucking sorry, love. I don't want to break up with you, that's the last thing I would ever want. I can't lose you."

You're overwhelmed by all kinds of emotions as you whisper, "Then why have you been ignoring me? Am I not enough for you anymore?"

James shushes you as he pets your soaked hair and gently guides your head to look up at him. He moves hair away from your face. "Don't say that. Please. You did nothing wrong. It's my fault. I have been so busy lately with school and Quidditch and – fuck – it never occurred to me that I was losing you. I took you for granted, love," he admits, caressing your cheek, "You're so sweet and kind to me I didn't even know something was wrong. I'm so sorry."

You don't want to forgive him and still, you subconsciously find yourself leaning into his touch. As much as you want to despise him for what he did, you love him more than you could ever hate him and James sees this. He holds your cheek and he strokes his calloused thumb against your skin. "You should be mad at me, love. I fucking deserve it," he says sadly.

"I just don't understand why you would think I wanted Rosier to kiss me," You admit, your voice small. James's heart tightens in his chest and tears brim in his eyes. He doesn't think you can hate him more than he hates himself at this moment.

"I don't know, Y/n," he admits, "I don't know what I was thinking but I- I should have listened to you," he whispers, looking down and you can tell he's replaying the moment Rosier crushed you against the wall over and over again in his head.

"Bloody hell, I'm a shit boyfriend. Some guy forces himself onto you and the first thing I do is blame you," he sounds angry with himself and you can tell even if you reassure him, he won't excuse himself so easily.

"It's okay," you try anyway but James quickly presses his finger to your lips.

"Shh, no. It isn't okay," he says, his eyes stern and he leans his forehead on yours. "I don't fucking deserve your forgiveness," his hand hovers over your form, afraid to touch you but silently pleading with his eyes for you to let him.

You nod and his fingers skim the satin of your dress. "I love you," James says. His hand touches your waist and then gently slides up your ribs. "I love you. I love you. I love you," he continues in a mantra as his lips press to your ear and you let out a sigh. You melt into his touch and his mantra changes, "I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. Shit, baby, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," You try and whisper again but this time his lips find yours to silence you. You're surprised but when James pulls away to make sure you're okay with him kissing you after everything, you squeeze your eyes shut and chase his lips. James's hands move up and hold your cheeks as he kisses you again.

The kiss is delicate and mixed with both anger and sadness. Your anger and his, his sadness and yours, as well as an abundance of soul crushing love. Jame's hand slides down to hold yours and he disconnects your lips. "How can I make it up to you?" he asks seriously, looking into your eyes.

"What?" your eyebrows crease.

James repeats his question without complaints, "How can I make this better? I want to show you how much I care."

You search his face and he looks determined. A smile tugs at your lips. "Oh, um," you think for a moment, "just don't do it again? Please don't forget me again." James's heart shatters again and he's convinced all he has left in his chest are sharp shards that will cut into him for the rest of his life.

"Never, baby, never," he promises as he presses a kiss to your forehead. "What else? What else, love?" James sounds desperate at this point.

You pull away and stare into his eyes. "Listen," you start and his stomach turns as sweat beads at his forehead, mixing with the raindrops. His mind starts to spin as he thinks of what you could say.

I think this isn't working. I can't look past this. I don't love you anymore, not after what you did.

"I'm not looking to punish you for what happened, I just want to move forward," you pause and James hangs on your every word. "I love you and I can tell you're really sorry. I know you, and I know you won't do it again." James nods his head, agreeing, and caresses your cheek, "That's enough for me."

You kiss his lips and then smile at him and James is sure his heart will explode from happiness. The rain finally slows as he listens to your words and in a breathless whisper he vows to never do anything like this again.

And now, in the huge ocean, when you thought nothing would surprise you anymore, Eywa seemed to turn every assumption you had upside down. Jake had taken you with him and his family to the place where the Metkayina Clan lived, leaving the Omaticaya behind, leaving the shelter that the forest offered you, to now be surrounded by the ocean; salt water and sandy land.

They had been kind enough to accept you into their home and to show you their ways, noting the great difference from your own, but, apparently the younger members of the clan were not as friendly to strangers as the older ones.

Ao'nung had been rather harsh with you, especially Kiri, whom they had addressed as a freak, as they had nicknamed her, and from there, the problem grew larger, for you and Lo'ak had taken up against them in her defense.

“Look at her.” Ao'nung called out, following Kiri like prey, looking at her with big, disgusted eyes. “Is she a freak or something?”

“Don't call her that.” You stated in a not at all friendly tone, scowl and defiant eyes looking up at the chief's son, pointing at him with your index finger and thus causing him to move backwards. “You have no right to call her that, did you hear me? The Chief's son or not, I'll kick your ass.”

With a tilt of your head, you stated the threat, making him snort ungraciously, looking at you with a raised eyebrow.

“For such a pretty little girl, you sure have a big mouth.” His big eyes narrowed as he spoke, demonstrating a smug attitude as he heard a couple of snickers from his little friends at his words. “You are one of us, little flower. Why you waste your time hanging out with these aliens?”

“Hey!” Lo'ak exclaimed, appearing at your side, fists clenched and face angry. “Don't call her that, get away from her!”

“Please, leave us alone.” Kiri grumbled behind your back, hearing how now, you were the target of annoyance from the little group.

Your mouth hung open wide, totally offended now, feeling the fury shake your body from head to toe, your tail wagging angrily as you lunged at him at the same time you heard an 'oh uh' from Lo'ak.

But your movement was halted as you watched as a body larger than yours stepped between you and the bully, leaving you in view of nothing but a broad back you knew all too well and blocking Ao'nung's smug, sneering face from your view.

“That's enough.” Neteyam said in a stern tone, deep voice and tense body, always as diplomatic and calm as ever, braids moving under the command of the wind and his head, which rose slightly, giving him a more stern and much more menacing stance. “As long as we are here you will treat my family with respect and call no one by other than their names.”

His head moved so that he could look at the faces of the little group that had formed, friends of Ao'nung, as silly as he was, apparently, but who, in Neteyam's presence, seemed to have been brought back to reality and put back in their places. They were not so foolish after all, they knew that against him they would have no choice but to flee. Cowards.

“(Y/N) is just fine for you, got it?”

“Whatever.” Ao'nung replied, rolling his eyes and starting to walk, bumping his shoulder against Neteyam's as he walked past him, his eyes met yours for a couple of seconds and he offered you a smirk, making you grunt and by the time you could take a step towards him, a hand found itself on your forearm, stopping any act of violence you had planned to do.

“Cowards.” Kiri spat, rolling her eyes.

When you looked back, Neteyam was looking at you with eyes, dark, but now filled with concern, his fingers barely caressing your skin before he pulled away from your arm.

“Are you okay, syulang?”

You rolled your eyes, sighing heavily. “I'd be better if I'd beaten that skxawng—”

“Hey.” He interrupted you, noticing how your ears were still bent and your tail twitching behind your back and he laid both of his hands on your shoulders now, in an attempt to reassure you, giving you delicate petting strokes. “It's okay, it's all over now.” His gaze traveled to his siblings behind you, moving his head and face transforming to one of authority, chin up. His voice came through loud and clear, almost scolding. “Home, now. You've had a lot for today.”

Lo'ak lifted his hands, looking incredulous. “But they were bugging-”

Neteyam was quick to interrupt him. “Home. We will talk to father later.”

The younger boy let out a snarl and without further ado, began walking back to where his family was staying, followed closely by Kiri, who kept a glum face, arms crossed over her chest.

And now, all of Neteyam's attention landed on you, as it naturally did, as his body always seemed to do instinctively, even though he didn't even intend to, he always focused on you, as if you were the center of the universe, the sun of his world, the core of his heart, the magnet of his mind and the horizon of his eyes. He saw you. He had always seen you. And practically everyone in his family knew, perhaps everyone on the whole planet, except for you, of course.

Neteyam had expressly refused any offer or even, even idea from his parents to find him a Tsahik as his position as the future leader of the clan, it was his duty and it behoved him to follow to the letter the duty that rested on his shoulders as the future chief, but now, all that had been left behind with his leaving. Now all he cared about having was you. All that mattered was you.

With a beautiful sunset behind him, he began to speak to you once again, hands gently running over your shoulders and arms, becoming more attentive, affectionate, but still concerned. His brow furrowed slightly and you knew immediately that a scolding was coming now. “What were you thinking, hm? Fighting them all?”

He was always like that with you, especially when you were alone together. Neteyam never felt he was enough for his father, and he too never seemed to be satisfied of him, let alone see all that his son did for his family, for his siblings and for him, but with you, with you everything was different, he could be different, he could be himself and he knew that was enough for you, you made him feel enough, you made him feel special.

“If that's what I had to do for protecting Kiri, Lo'ak and their family's honor, of course.” You answered immediately and with your words, sounding so sure and affirmative, Neteyam felt his heart be flooded with a most familiar warmth, an emotion quite well-known to him whenever you were near him and said things such as those, always putting others before yourself, putting the welfare of his family before yourself.

A smile tugged at Neteyam's lips, admiring you with bright, big eyes, his hands trailing down your shoulders, sliding down your arms to your hands, taking them between his own tenderly, fingers toying with yours absentmindedly as he watched the clear size difference.

“He called you little flower.” Neteyam stated after a silence of a couple of seconds, twisting his head. His jaw was clenched and ears barely tilted back. “I call you that.”

You bit your lower lip, holding back the smile that threatened to curve your lips at his clear display of jealousy. He was upset about it and you had to reassure him. Your fingers caressed his wrist, tracing imaginary lines down his forearm. “I like it better when you do it.”

“I sure hope so.” He smiled again and tugged on your hand, inviting you to walk with him, both of your hands tangled between his arm, and he didn't waste a second in drawing you to him. “I want to show you something.”

. . .

Neteyam had found the spot walking along the local beach, it was a bit far from the place where his family was staying and it was far from the town in general, but that made it a perfect location. It was a small bay, surrounded by coastal vegetation, a couple of palm trees and soft silky sand, but what was really amazing, was the glows of bioluminescence under the clear ocean water, algae of all colors, small animals swimming, with the sunset light bathing exquisitely over the turquoise sea.

It was beautiful, of course. But your reaction at the sight of it was even better; mouth half-open, eyes huge and amazed, face in wonder.

“'Yam… it's beautiful.” You murmured in a soft, barely audible tone of voice, but he was right next to you, as close to you as possible, so he could hear you perfectly. His fingers were intertwined with yours and he pulled you with him across the sand to the perfect place to sit.

“Yes it is. I found it as I was passing by... I immediately thought of you.” His gaze lowered with a hint of embarrassment flashing across his pretty face. “I know how much you love nature, all the things our great mother has given us, so, I thought, you would like it.” He stated and then shrugged, attitude becoming quite braggy now. “I've seen more beautiful things, though.”

You rolled your eyes, pushing your shoulder against his in amusement as you wrapped your arms around your knees, admiring the scenery in front of you. “Don't lie now.”

“I'm serious.” He laughed, looking up at you, analyzing every expression on your pretty face. “I'm no liar, you know that.”

You raised an eyebrow, turning your head so you could look at him now. “Really, huh? So what have you seen? What possibly have you seen prettier than this?”

Neteyam smiled thinly, stirring his arm lightly, his hand passed down your back, resting on the sand, fingers fiddling with it. “Something prettier than this?”

“Hm.” You hummed, looking at him curiously.

His ears perked up, gaze dropping to his lap, steeling himself inside, trying his hardest to calm the nerves that were practically eating him alive. And then, he moved his eyes up your body, until he met yours. “I'm looking at it right now.”

Your breath hitched and your mouth parted, feeling your body freeze. Your arms fell to either side of your body, adjusting your position.

“Nete…” You whispered in a shaky voice.

“Yes, sluyang?” He tilted his head softly. “I'm being honest.” He swallowed saliva, his hand trailing up your arm, caressing your shoulder and tracing your jaw, down to rest on your cheek, fingers tracing every inch of skin he could, arranging your hair and tucking it behind your ear. “I've always seen you as the most beautiful thing…” His lips trembled, faltering for a few moments. “I see you, (Y/N).”

You closed your eyes and rested your forehead against his, nuzzling his nose against yours. “I see you too, Neteyam.”

He closed his eyes too, caressing your face with his. “When that idiot called you flower and treated you that way… like you were nothing.” His hands cradled your face now, and you rose up to face him, completely silent, breathing agitatedly. He was breathing in an agitated way too, looking frustrated, disturbed. “I was furious. They should respect you. Every one of them should know that you are mine and they should treat you as such, as my equal, as my mate.”

You opened your eyes to find his eyes already on you, your fingers stroking his arms subconsciously. Your lips brushed his as you opened your mouth to speak in an agitated voice. “I want to be yours, Neteyam.”

“I can't pretend anymore.” He declared between shaky breaths, gaze traveling between your eyes and mouth as he shook his head. “I don't care what anyone else says, I don't want anyone else. I have already chosen. I just want you, (Y/N)... I was made for you.”

“Then just take me.” You murmured against his lips before joining them with yours in a needy, agitated kiss that felt as if everything at last, made sense, as if life had been created just for this moment, as if you had been brought to life just this moment, for each other.

It felt as if all the constellations had aligned for you, as if you had all the stars just for you, and that was given just once, you knew. Everything made you feel as if Ewya had created you for each other. You were made for each other and perhaps the Great Mother had aligned the whole universe for it, for you.

“I am yours.” He promised. “I always have been.”

Your legs tangled between his as you landed on his lap, being drawn in by his arms chaining themselves around your body, massaging your waist, tattooing his touch on your skin.

stand there like a ghost shaking from the rain

you were sat on your couch. all the lights were off and you had a movie playing on the tv while you were curled on the couch and listening to the rain.

it was basically a perfect night.

then there was a knock at your door.

it was late. you checked your phone to see the time, 11:38 pm, and got up with a groan.

why was someone at your door this late at night?

she’ll open up the door and say, ‘are you insane?’

you unlocked the front door and once you pulled it open you found your ex-boyfriend, jake peralta, standing on your porch.

he was soaking wet, his hair sticking to his forehead and his clothes drenched, from the rain.

“jake, what are you doing here?” you asked, taking in his appearance. “it’s the middle of the night and it’s pouring! are you insane?”

say it’s been a long six months

“maybe.” he replied before going quiet again and staring at you. “it’s been… a long six months.”

“really, jake?” you sighed.

you had seen him almost every single day since he broke up with you due to the fact that you worked together.

“are you drunk or something?”

“no! no— i…” he sighed. “i just…”

and you were too afraid to tell her what you want

“i was… afraid.” jake paused. “of telling you the truth.”

“what do you mean?”

“i mean the truth about how i felt about our relationship. i was too scared to tell you what i really wanted.”

“i’m so confused right now.” your eyes flitted around his face.

and that’s how it works

“just… come inside, peralta. it’s raining.” you grabbed him by the sleeve of his leather jacket and pulled him into your house.

“it’s been a while since i’ve been here.” jake said, looking around at the house that hasn’t really changed in the six months since he had dumped you.

that’s how you get the girl

“okay, jake, just… can you please explain what you’re doing here?” you asked. “this is totally random, and i’d like to know what you’re doing and why.”

jake’s mouth went dry and he stopped looking up at the ceiling. his eyes stopped on you.

and then, you say

“okay.” jake took a deep breath. “here it goes.”

“here what goes?” you asked.

i want you for worse or for better

“i want you.” jake paused. “for worse or for better.”

you raised your eyebrows in surprise for a moment before staring at him with a blank look.

i would wait forever and ever

“and, look, i would wait forever and ever.” jake said.

“you’re joking, right?” you asked, one hand still on the handle to your front door. “you can’t possibly be serious.”

broke your heart, i’ll put it back together

“y/n, i know i broke your heart.” jake sighed and looked up from his shoes and took one step closer to you. “but i’ll put it back together.”

you narrowed your eyes at him for two reasons. one, in disbelief, and two, because something about the whole situation was familiar.

i would wait forever and ever

“again, i would wait forever. and ever.” jake mumbled and the two of you stood in your entryway, a few feet away from each other.

“jake, you have got to be kidding me.” you sighed and walked past him and back into the living room, where your movie was now paused on the tv.

and that’s how it works

“what do you mean?” he asked, following you into the room.

“i mean you turning up at my house in the middle of the night talking like a crazy person.”

“a person… crazy in love.” jake said with a wide smile, which he dropped after he saw your disappointed stare. “no? okay.”

that’s how you get the girl

“jake, what is up with you?” you questioned him. “why are you here and why are you saying all this stuff?”

he walked past you and sat down on your couch, still wet.

“off the couch.” you ordered and he got up quickly.

“sorry.” he slowly made his way around the room before stopping in front of a shelf.

remind her how it used to be

he picked up a framed photo off of it and turned to look at you. “you’ve still got these up?”

you shrugged, crossing your arms and holding your robe tight. “yeah.”

“do you remember the day we took this?” he asked.

the picture he held was a selfie he had taken when the two of you were on a date after finishing a big case.

he has caught the exact moment you kissed his cheek.

with pictures in frames of kisses on cheeks

“mhm.” you didn’t want to say much. you didn’t like him being in your house, despite being the one who let him in. “right after we solved the mason murder case you took me out on that date.”

jake chuckled to himself and put the frame down. “yeah.”

the two of you had gone out for dinner, but then abandoned all plans for being in the outside world and decided to watch movies in jake’s apartment.

that same night, he told you that he loved you for the very first time.

tell her how you must’ve lost your mind

jake turned to look at you again.

he didn’t care if you were staring at him with a look that was a mix of both disapproval and disappointment, or that you clearly did not want him to be there.

jake’s eyes travelled from your eyes down your body and back to your face. he thought you looked beautiful.

“y/n, i swear, i must’ve lost my mind.” he forced out a very awkward chuckle, which he masked with a cough. “i did something so stupid, even for me.”

when you left her all alone, and never told her why

“which was?”

“dumping you. and not even telling you why.”

he did that.

six months earlier jake had come up to you at work and asked to talk to you privately.

and that’s how it works

“hey, babe, can i talk to you in private for one second?” jake had appeared at your side mid-conversation with rosa.

“oh, yeah, one sec.” you smiled and he nodded. jake started walking away and you told rosa you’d be right back before following jake.

the two of you soon ended up in the evidence room.

“what’s up?” you asked once the two of you were in the room with the door closed.

jake went silent in front of you. he seemed to freeze up.

“jake? you okay?”

“hmm? oh, yeah, totally, all good.” jake chuckled and cleared his throat. “but, um, anyway. so what i wanted to talk to you about was… i want…”

jake trailed off and stared you in the eyes. you waited for him to go on, giving him a weird look and he shook his head.

“i wanna break up!” jake basically spewed the words out as he yelled them loudly at you. “yup. that’s it. i want to break up… with you…”

jake nodded and turned on his heel, speeding out of the room.

that’s how you lost the girl

“i messed up. big time.”

“really?” you pretended to be surprised. “wow, i had no idea!”

jake stared back blankly. “okay. i get it.”

“do you, jake?” you asked. “because you turning up here and thinking i’d be okay with that tells me that maybe you don’t really get it.”

and now, you say

“no, i do.” he sighed. “i came here because i’ve been thinking. like, really thinking.”

you stared at him expectantly.

“i wanted to apologize.”

“after six months?” you almost laughed. “that’s half a year, jake.”

i want you for worse or for better

“i know.” jake buried his face in his hands. “but i swear, i’ve been thinking about this for… yeah, for literally the entire six months.”

“and what is this thing you’ve been thinking about?”

“i knew i had messed up immediately, and i freaked out and that’s why i ran away.”

you raised your eyebrows. “you messed up so you ran away instead of… talking about it like adults?”

i would wait forever and ever

“well, i did talk about it with charles.” jake said.

“i meant talk about it with me.” you stated. “as in the girl you broke up with without any explanation or another word that wasn’t work related for six months until you show up on her doorstep unannounced in the middle of the night when there’s a storm outside.”

as if on cue, thunder cracked outside.

“okay, keep it down, storm. we’re trying to have a conversation in here.” jake seemed to shout at your ceiling before looking at you with an amused smile.

broke your heart, i’ll put it back together

“okay, look,” he sighed. “i’ll be real with you right now. i want you back. i want us to be together again and i would literally wait forever and ever.”

“so you’ve said.” you nodded slightly, taking acknowledgment of the fact that jake’s hair had dried and had started to curl on top of his head.

not that you were looking at his hair. you were only listening to what he had to say.

you were totally over him.

“jake, i’ve finally… moved on. i’m over it.” you lied. “why did you decide to come here tonight?”

i would wait forever and ever

“because i still love you.” he stated. “and i never stopped loving you because i never wanted to break up in the first place.”

“then why did you break up with me?” you questioned him. “at work of all places, too. for all of our friends to find out immediately? for them to practically baby me for the next month until i finally snapped at them to stop? because that’s what happened.”

“because…”

and that’s how it works

he sighed. “god, why does this have to be so hard?”

“‘god, why does this have to be so hard?’ title of your sex tape.” you said, practically on instinct, before awkwardly coughing at the sight of his smile.

jake didn’t say anything for a moment after that. he just stared at you with that beautifully stupid smile on his stupidly beautiful face.

that’s how you get the girl

“you were saying?”

“right.” jake nodded and cleared his throat. “um… i didn’t want to break up with you. i just freaked out because i couldn’t say what i wanted to say and then started overthinking everything in my head.”

“what were you going to say?” you asked. “you know, before you broke up with me.”

“i was, um… i was gonna suggest that, uh, i…” jake sighed. “i was gonna ask what your thoughts would be on me moving in with you here.”

he gestured around himself to the house the two of you stood in.

and that’s how it works

“i really do love you, y/n. i just… it was just such a big… thing.” jake cursed at himself under his breath. “it was a huge thing and, like, i worried that maybe i was going too fast or that you’d say no and crush my heart so…”

“so you just crushed my heart first to prevent any possible damage to yourself.”

“yup. i’m such an idiot.”

“yeah, you are.”

that’s how you get the girl

“look, i’m sorry for turning up here.” jake apologized and started walking towards the front door again. “i’ll just go and we can pretend none of this happened and go back to not talking to each other.”

“what if i don’t want that.” you spoke and jake turned to look at you.

“what?”

“i mean… it’s raining outside.” nice save. “you don’t want to get sick or anything.”

and you know

“oh, right.” he moved away from the door a little. “smort. i mean, smart thinking, y/n.”

you nodded.

he then looked over at the tv. “die hard?”

you shrugged. “yeah. i was bored and lonely, so…”

“i get it.” he nodded.

“you can, um, watch it with me if you want.” you offered awkwardly. “i mean, it is your favourite movie of all time.”

jake smiled at you. “yeah, okay.”

“then maybe we can talk more about…” you gestured around at him. “this whole thing.”

that i don’t want you to go

the two of you sat down on the couch, but you didn’t put the movie back on. instead the two of you sat quietly.

“what made you decide to come here tonight? i mean, after six whole months?” you asked, breaking the silence.

“i don’t know. i was just in my apartment and listening to music… then i decided i couldn’t deal with us not being together anymore.”

remind me how it used to be

“for months… i don’t know why i didn’t do anything. i guess, i was scared?” he looked at you before laughing. “what am i saying? this is so dumb. whatever.”

“jake…”

“no, i sound ridiculously stupid. i broke up with you.” he rubbed his face. “i shouldn’t be acting like i was the one who was hurt.”

“at least you’re self-aware.” you mumbled before leaning back in your seat.

“y/n…” he reached out and took one of your hands in his. “i’m so sorry. for everything. for dumping you with no explanation, then acting as if nothing happened at all.”

with pictures in frames of kisses on cheeks

“why didn’t you just… explain to me you didn’t really want to break up right after it happened? or at least in the same day?” you asked.

“because… i kind of just assumed this was what you wanted.” jake gestured between the two of you. “you’re way too good for me. i mean, you’re smart, you’re funny, you’re an amazing detective, plus you’re super hot. i just guessed you didn’t really… i mean, look at me.”

“jacob peralta, you are such an idiot sometimes.” you deadpanned and he winced. “but, you do know that you’re also really smart, right? you’re one of the best detectives i know. you’re funny and you’re also super hot.”

“okay, i know you’re trying to make me feel better and this is the worst time to say this, but you feeding my ego and talking in that sexy voice is really turning me on.”

“oh, shut up.”

and say you want me

the silence between you returned for a moment before jake spoke again.

“y/n, i want you back.”

a part of you didn’t want to take him back. he had made you feel terrible for months and quite literally had broken your heart.

but on the other hand…

“jake…” you started and he met your eyes, looking almost desperate.

and then you say

then it clicked in your head. why the things he had been saying seemed to familiar to you.

“oh, my god. jacob peralta you did not.” you hit his arm and he gave you a confused look.

“what?”

i want you for worse or for better

“i want you for worse or for better.” you spoke in a song-like tune and a small smile tugged on jake’s lips.

i would wait forever and ever

“i would wait forever and ever.” you chuckled and shook your head.

the way he smiled at you at that moment made your stomach flip.

broke your heart, i’ll put it back together

“broke your heart, i’ll put it back together.” you glared playfully. “i would wait forever and ever.”

i want you forever and ever

“i want you forever and ever.” jake replaced the line you sang with one later in the song, his face inching closer to yours.

“and that’s how it works, that’s how you get the girl.” you shook your head again in disbelief. “you really followed the steps from the song?”

jake shrugged, your lips almost touching. “did it work?”

“maybe.”

and that’s how it works, that’s how you get the girl

you leaned forward and connected your lips with his.

jake’s hands held onto your hips while your hands ran up his chest and to his shoulders.

when you pulled apart, you smiled curiously and asked him, “when did you plan this, jake?”

“obviously it took months and months of planning to get it perfect.” he said and you gave him a look. “i didn’t plan it, i got the idea, like, five minutes before i left to come here.”

and that’s how it works, that’s how you get the girl

“you came here with no plan except for the lyrics to a taylor swift song?”

“i had faith. she’s a genius, i trusted her.”

you laughed and so did he before connecting your lips in another kiss.

“charles is gonna lose his shit when he hears about this.”

“how would he know if you don’t tell him?” you questioned.

“oh, he has some kind of sixth sense about this stuff.” jake stated.

“what stuff?”

“us. together.”

and that’s how it works, that’s how you get the girl

you paused. “you want us to be together again?”

jake’s mouth was parted slightly and he nodded in the dead silence of the room. “so badly.”

he connected his hand with yours and leaned closer.

“would you give me another chance? please?”

“are you gonna actually communicate with me and tell me how you feel instead of breaking up with me this time?”

jake’s hands held the sides of your face. “i promise. i’ve felt so horrible for the last 6 months and i swear i will never hurt you like that again.”

and that’s how it works, that’s how you get the girl

there was a quiet moment between the two of you.

“so, y/n l/n…” jake took a deep breath. “will you give me another chance and be my girlfriend again?”

and that’s how it works

“jake peralta, you’re one lucky son of a bitch.” you said before quickly adding, “i don’t mean that, i love your mom. she’s really great.”

he chuckled. “don’t worry about it.”

then he leaned forward and kissed you again.

that’s how you get the girl

"Oh, y/n, didn't think I'd find you here," Cormac says, running a hand through his curly locks which don't even move thanks to all the product in them.

"In her boyfriend's lap?" Fred says, sounding possessive, playing the role perfectly.

"Boyfriend?" Cormac asks, eyes widening at the realisation that you were sat in someone's lap, and that person being Fred Weasley.

"Yep," he says with a wicked smirk, pulling you righter to him as his arm snakes around your waist.

"Didn't think gingers where your thing," Cormac says, posing on the side of the couch where he leans trying to look seductive but failing miserably.

"This one is," you shrug, gesturing to Fred who sends a sarcastic smirk towards McLaggen.

"Look I've made my intentions clear but you keep playing hard to get," Cormac says smugly, clearly not reading the room. "I'm top of the class in charms, keeper for the quidditch team, perfect student record and"

"Narcissistic," you add.

"A Prat?" Fred interjects at the same time.

Cormac ignores your words entirely, fixing you with a smarmy smile, "I'm a Mclaggen, why would you want to parade round with a Weasley when you could go out with me?"

The word 'Weasley' was said like a curse word with just a hint less sneering than Malfoy's way of saying it; but with just the same tone of condescension and derogation.

His verbal attack on the Weasley name did not sit right with you one bit and you couldn't hold back any longer, not when he was offending your friends.

"Because, unlike you McLaggen, Fred actually has a sense of humour, doesn't have a face like a troll and doesn't make me want to be sick when he opens his mouth," you say, trying to hold back your own sneer.

"But," he tries to say but you sarcastically smirk back at him, not willing to let him argue your statements.

"You want more? Okay," you snark, "He's a beater in the quidditch team so you're bragging is moot, he's kind and don't even get me started on how knee-shakingly tall he is. I can't think of anymore ways to tell you that I'm not attracted to you Cormac."

"So you're sticking with the Weasel then?" Cormac says with a huff after a few moments silence, staring you down.

"Looks like it to me," you shrug, choosing to ignore his turn of phrase.

"And me," Fred says harshly before turning you to face him, his hand coming up to cradle your jaw as he presses his lips to yours, pulling you in to a surprisingly passionate kiss. It takes you a second for the shock to wear off but you quickly kiss him back, no longer caring about Cormac or anything else around you. You pull apart eventually, discovering Cormac had left and you looked up at Fred with a sudden shyness at your actions.

"Knee-shaking Eh?" Fred teases, his hand moving from your hair to wrap around a strand of hair on your shoulder.

"Shut up Weasel," you snarked jokingly, nudging him with your shoulder, mirroring Cormac's apparent nickname for the jokester.

"I'm just saying, you did make some very good points there about me," he smirks, still holding you firmly in his lap. "Almost as if you had them prepared."

"Oh shove off," you laughed, nudging his arm around you so that he'd let you up, but it only seemed to fuel him to hold you ever tighter, not letting you escape. "I could have been describing anyone."

"I could describe you too you know," he says with a wiggle of his eyebrows and you push him once again to get off of you but he just laughs.

"Go on then, I'm annoying and sarcastic and," you say rolling your eyes already at the anticipated sarcasm about to fall from his lips.

"Funny and mischievous, more talented than I've ever seen anyone be at potions and devastatingly beautiful," he says, making you flick your gaze to him in surprise. You'd expected him to follow it with a joke or say it with pure sarcasm but nothing came, he simply looked down at you with honesty in his eyes and a smile tugging at his lips.

"You know, I could get used to having you in my lap, fake girlfriend or maybe not so fake girlfriend."

But these holidays had been different. You had been away with your parents for nearly the entire summer, visiting some distant relatives in another country. Draco and you had implored that he would be able to accompany you, but since his family needed him at home, this had been impossible. And when you had suggested you could stay home as well, your parents showed you once more, that they had a heart of stone, neither allowing you to stay home alone -even though you were already old enough to do so-, nor allowing you to stay at Draco´s home like you had done it so many times before, and Narcissa had assured your parents that she would have been glad to welcome you. But since your parents were the monsters they were, they forced you to spend nearly two months somewhere nearly on the other side of the world, where the sun was shining and you could lay on the beach all day with a drink in your hand and many friendly relatives who had already been dying to meet you. But none of those things had mattered since Draco hadn’t been with you. Even though you owled every single day, even sending some photographs, you missed him deeply and counted the days until you would finally be able to escape this paradise that was hell for you and finally get back home. And by home, you didn’t mean your house or school. You meant Draco. Because that´s what he was for you. Wherever you were, if he was with you, you felt at home.

And today you would finally get home again. It was the first day of the school year and you were already waiting at King´s cross. Usually, you arrived only a minute before the train would leave, always making Draco worry you may not make it, but today you were nearly half an hour earlier, not able to wait until you would see your best friend again.

But for now, you didn’t see him yet. You had just met Pansy who was a nearly as good friend as Draco. The two of you shared a dorm at Hogwarts and together with Draco and Blaise, the four of you were the absolute best friends Hogwarts had ever seen. In your opinion even better than Potter and his friends.

While normally you loved to chat with Pansy who was telling you about her vacation, you were now way too nervous to concentrate on what she was saying. Your gaze was restless and your leg bounced in anticipation.

“(Y/n), are you even listening to me?”, Pansy asked as she saw you nodding and forcing a smile at something in her eyes unacceptable, she had experienced in the last weeks.

“Mhh? Oh yeah of course. That´s nice.”, you answered absent-minded, not even caring to ask what she was even talking about.

“I don’t think there is any use for you before you haven’t seen Draco, is there?”

You shrugged your shoulders and looked at your friend guiltily.

“I´m sorry Pansy. But I haven’t seen him in ages. We´ve never been apart for so long.”

Pansy laughed.

“Well, it´s good then that you´ll meet again soon before you actually go mad.”

“It´s just all this waiting drives me crazy.”, you sighted dramatically.

“If you would look over there you would be done waiting. Just saying.”, Pansy smiled and nodded in the direction of the entrance.

Your gaze shot up. There he stood. Hands in his pockets and with a board grin on his face. It only grew wider when he saw your face lightning up at his sight.

“Draco!”, you yelled, leaving Pansy behind, who just shook her head, smiling to herself, as she saw you running up to the boy you had missed so much over the last weeks.

Draco took a few steps forward, opening his arm to welcome the girl he had missed just as much as she had missed him. When you reached him, you wrapped your arms around his neck, while his sneaked around your waist, lifting you from your feet and spinning you around.

“I missed you so much.”, you mumbled, burying your face in the crook of his neck, inhaling his intoxicating scent.

“I missed you too love.”, he smiled as he nuzzled his head into your hair.

When he finally let go of you, you stepped back, eying him from head to toe.

“Looking good Malfoy.”, you smiled.

And that wasn’t even a lie. You had always been aware of the fact that he was very pretty, knowing many girls knew that too, which you always teased him about, but you had forgotten how beautiful he was. Draco had grown at least a few centimetres over the holidays. His hair was now a bit longer and slightly messy, maybe also due to your tempestuous greeting. It made him look older and, even though this thought caught you completely off guard, really attractive.

“You don’t look too bad yourself (Y/l/n).”

He mirrored your smile, his grey eyes lingering on you as well as yours on him. You could feel the blush creeping on your cheeks under his intense gaze. You cleared your throat.

“So how were your holidays?”

“As if you didn’t know. I sent you at least a hundred letters.”, he laughed.

“Yeah, but I want to hear it from you. In-person. From eye to eye. And if it´s just to hear your voice. So what happened? Tell me everything.”

“Actually, they were really awful.” He smiled down at you as he brushed a strand of your hair behind your ear. “I couldn’t enjoy anything. I was thinking about you the entire time.”

His confession made your heart for some reason beat faster.

“Me too.”, you admitted, returning his smile. “Just promise me we´ll never be apart for that long again. Don’t think I´ll survive this another time.”

Draco laughed at your staginess but became serious again within a second.

“The next time we´ll spent our holidays together. And if our parents have different plans, I don’t care. I´ll run away with you if I need to. Two roamers roaming through the country, staying at dive bars, living on the streets.”

Now it was on you to laugh.

“You wouldn’t survive two days.”

“As if you would.” “Longer than you definitely. A week at least.”

“I could do it too. As long as you are with me, I would sleep in a tent under a bridge if I need to. It´s still better than not being with you.”

You felt the blush darkening your cheeks once more. To hide it, you pulled Draco in a tight embrace once more.

“I know. Any place with you is home.”

“Indeed love.”

“Would you two lovebirds stop snuggling? We still have a train to catch.”

You turned around, seeing Pansy and Blaise waiting for you, both for some reason grinning knowingly.

“Shut it, Pansy.”, you mumbled, before greeting Blaise.

This year would be great. You just knew it.

And you were absolutely right. Even though your classes were harder than ever and you spent much time studying, you enjoyed every single moment of it. Because learning magic amazed you even after all these years, your grades were great and you and your friends spent much time with each other, growing only more and more close.

After you hadn’t seen him for such a long time, Draco and you had to catch up much time and you didn’t waste any second of it. You spent much time learning, laughing, talking and also cuddling, probably more than ever. That led to some teasing from the other Slytherins, especially Pansy and Blaise. Draco, who had always stated that he had a reputation to lose, why he never liked to commit any kind of physical or emotional closeness, seemed to be clingier since the beginning of this year. And all those comments that he always used to hate, he now just laughed off. When someone made a comment about the two of you laughing in the corridors between class, he just grabbed your hand, telling them that it wasn’t his fault they hadn’t such amazing friends and if someone mentioned how the two of you laid on the couch in the common room together, he just grumbled something incomprehensible and pulled you only closer, making you sight comfortably. You didn’t mind his new behaviour at all. Salazar, you even loved it. You enjoyed every second with Draco and that he was now able to show he felt the same, made you even happier.

But still, the comments of your friends, especially Pansy, annoyed you. They always said that the two of you would make such a cute couple or how the two of you should get a room when you got close once more. You mostly just rolled your eyes in response, trying to hide the fact that your face heated up, every time someone brought up the special bond between Draco and you.

Because if you were completely honest, the one thing that changed the most since the last school year, was your feelings for your best friend. Before the holidays, you had never seen more in him than your friend. An amazing one, but still, only a friend. Whenever you had heard Draco´s and your mother talking about how they were sure that the two of you would get married one day, you scrunched your face at the thought of marrying Draco out of all the boys.

But since that day at the train station, you couldn’t help but sometimes catch yourself daydreaming about what could happen if the two of you would ever be more than friends. Because if you were honest, Draco was everything you were looking for in a boy. Not only that he was good looking and his family was rich and pure blood. You couldn’t mind less. But he was the one person in this world who truly knew you. He knew all your secrets, all your fears, your hopes and dreams and you knew his.

The only thing he didn’t know was the way your heartbeat sped up whenever someone only mentioned his name, not saying when you saw him. He didn’t know about the shivers that ran down your spine when you heard him calling your name or when his skin unintentionally brushed over yours. He didn’t know how you got lost in his eyes, whenever you looked at him or how you wondered how his lips would feel on yours whenever you watched him talking. He didn’t know any of these things and you were glad about it. Because you didn’t want to ruin your friendship for a stupid little crush. That´s what you told yourself it was. Only a crush. Even though after nearly half a year, you slowly started to realize that it might be more than this. You knew you wanted more, but you were also scared that you might end up with nothing if you would confess it to him. And you rather were just friends with Draco, than lose this as well.

You told no one about these feelings, not even Pansy. But your friend seemed to notice. She had always told you that Draco and you would one day be more than just friends. You had always laughed at her for this, telling her that this was absolutely impossible.

But by now, you couldn’t laugh about it anymore, just forcing yourself to smile whenever she brought this topic up. Obviously, she noticed the change of your behaviour and also suspected the reason for it. And as usual, she was right.

“(Y/n), you can´t tell me you don’t love him.”, she told you one evening.

Pansy and you were sitting in the common room, waiting for Draco and Blaise to get back from their Quidditch training. It was late in the evening and it was already dark outside.

“I never said I don’t love him. He is my friend. Of course I love him. But so I love you and Blaise.”

“You know that´s not what I mean.”, Pansy said, rolling her eyes impatiently. “I´m not talking about loving someone as a friend. I´m talking not only about loving but about being in love. And you clearly are in love with Draco.”

“Great Pansy, shout it out of the window, maybe the students from the other houses haven’t heard you yet.”, you hissed, when her voice got louder and some other students looked in your direction curiously.

“So you admit that you are.” She sounded triumphal.

“Never said I am.”, you mumbled.

“But you also never said you are not.”

You shrugged your shoulders.

“It doesn’t matter anyway, does it? I mean Draco and I are best friends. It would be awkward if I… I don’t want to ruin what we have. I don’t want to lose him.”

To the end your voice became quieter.

“But if you won´t do anything, you ruin what could be.” Pansy´s voice sounded much softer now.

“Draco doesn’t feel the same as I feel for him. I mean if I would… you know… be in love with him. Which I´m not saying I am.”, you added quickly.

Pansy giggled.

“Of course not. But seriously (Y/n). I don’t get it. Everyone can see how much you love each other. I mean how much in love you are. Salazar, you always steal those glances, blushing and smiling stupidly whenever someone just mentions the others name. And you are so close. Closer than with anyone else. Have you never noticed that Draco had never even looked at another girl?”

Now that Pansy mentioned it, you realized that this was right indeed. Even though you knew many girls were interested in Draco, he had never shown any interest in someone. Sometimes you had talked about it. But Draco had always said that he didn’t want to settle for something if he wasn’t absolutely sure that he loved her. That didn’t mean that he hadn’t made his experiences, but it had never been more than this. It had never been something serious. And for some reason, you were really glad about it.

“I´m just scared to lose him Pansy.”, you sighted, kicking your feet up on the couch as well, now laying down.

“Your connection is something special (Y/n). Even if he wouldn’t feel the same, and I highly doubt that this wouldn’t be the end.” “But I probably couldn’t even look him in the eyes anymore after this. And by the way, how am I even supposed to tell him? ´Hey Draco, I know we´ve been best friends ever since I can remember, but I think I might be in love with you so let´s get this to the next level?´”

“Maybe not that direct.”, Pansy laughed and you joined.

That´s when the door opened, and two tall boys entered the room. When they saw you still sitting there, they headed towards you.

“Lovely Draco, isn’t it? Our girls have been waiting for us.”, Blaise chuckled, while Pansy and you just rolled your eyes.

You always acted as if you hated when the boys referred to you like this, but you secretly enjoyed it and, even though Pansy would never admit it, you suspected, that she enjoyed it just as much.

Blaise fell into the chair next to Pansy, while you lifted your head from the sofa cushion, making some space for Draco. When he had sat down, you placed your head on his lap instead. His hands immediately found their way to your hair, softly stroking it. You sighted comfortably.

Draco and Blaise told you about their training. When at some point the topic changed to some different tactics they wanted to try at the next game, your felt your eyelids getting heavy. You didn’t really try to fight it. Draco´s hands were still in your hair, drawing small circles on your scalp. You inhaled the scent of the body wash he always used after the training and the unique scent of his jersey. Listening to Draco´s and Blaise´s soft voices, you slowly drifted off into sleep.

“Did she really fall asleep?”, Blaise asked.

“Shh, don’t wake her up again.”, Draco hushed him, looking down at you on his lap.

You had actually fallen asleep, now lost in the world of your dreams, unaware of your surroundings and the conversation of your friends.

“This looks so adorable, don’t you think Blaise?”, Pansy purred as she looked at Draco and you.

You were still snuggled up on his lap, eyes closed, lips slightly parted. Your breath was slow and steady. Draco on the other hand looked down at you in admiration. He wanted to take this moment in, every second of it. He didn’t dare to move, too scared he might wake you up, except for his hands. They slowly wandered from your scalp to your face, brushing away a loose strand that had fallen into your face, then gently caressing your cheeks.

“Lovely.”, Blaise chuckled. “But careful Draco, you´re drooling already.”

Draco quickly brought up a hand to his mouth, before rolling his eyes and burying it in your hair again. The movement made Pansy and Blaise laugh quietly.

“If you´ll ever tell me again you aren’t in love with her I´ll remind you of this moment.”

Draco tensed under you.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”, he grumbled.

“But why? You two are made for each other. Everyone can see. Everyone except for you two.”

“It doesn’t matter if I love her or…”

“You do.”, Blaise interrupted him.

“Well, maybe…”

“No, for sure.”, Pansy said.

Draco sighted.

“Okay. I am. I am totally crazy about her. As if you didn’t know. But this doesn’t matter. I mean, she doesn’t love me. Not the way that I love her. And I can´t lose her. I just can´t”

Draco looked down at you, smiling softly in your sleep. Hell yes, he loved you. He loved you so much it hurt. He did so ever since he could remember. But unfortunately, you had never seen anything more in him than your friend. It killed him to play pretend, but anything was better than losing you.

Then he heard Pansy chuckling. He looked up, shooting her a deadly glance.

“You don’t actually think it´s funny, do you?”

Pansy was quick to shake her head.

“No. Not at all. It´s just… (Y/n) has told me literally the same thing not even an hour ago.”

“Pansy, that´s nothing to joke about.”

“I´m serious Draco. She had told me just before you came in here. Told me that she is too scared to tell you how she feels because she is too scared to lose you.”

Draco looked down at you, still sleeping, completely unaware of the fact that Pansy had just exposed you. The fact that you might feel the same for him as he did for you, was unimaginable for him. You were such a good person, so pure, everyone loved you. And he was… him.

“You probably misheard her. Or misunderstood. She doesn’t love me. Not like this. And she shouldn’t. She deserves so much better.”

His friends looked at him with pity, fully aware that you were the only thing in Draco´s life he was actually insecure about because of how much he cared about you, but also wondering if their friend could actually be that stupid. In fact, both of you. Normally, the two of you were pretty intelligent people. But when it came to your feelings for each other, you were completely clueless. It might have been funny to watch the two of you secretly admiring each other if it wouldn’t have been that sad.

“But what if she doesn’t want something better, Draco? What if she just wants you?”, Pansy asked, not expecting him to answer.

“Just think about it mate.”, Blaise said, before standing up. “I´ll go to bed now. I´m done for today.”

Pansy was quick to get up too.

“I´ll go too.” She looked at Draco. “What about you?”

But Draco just shook his head, his gaze still lingering on you.

“I can´t wake her up now. I´ll stay.”

Blaise shook his head in incomprehension.

“And you really want to tell us that there´s someone better for her?”, he chuckled, before leaving the room.

Pansy followed shortly after, leaving the two of you alone, closing the door of the common room behind her.

Draco looked down at you again. Your eyes were still closed, your head still rested on his legs.

“What are you only doing to me (Y/n)?”, he whispered, before he continued playing with your hair.

You woke up to the sound of a door slamming. It took you a moment to realize where you were. You were still in the common room, laying on the couch, your head placed on Draco´s lap. You could still feel his warm presence and heard his steady breath. You must have fallen asleep over all the talking of the boys. You weren’t sure how much time had passed, but according to the sounds around you, it was only Draco and you who were left in the common room.

You were just about to open your eyes, wanting to ask Draco why he didn’t wake you up, when you heard his voice.

“What are you only doing to me (Y/n)?”, he whispered.

His voice sounded different than usual, much softer and much more vulnerable. From the way, he was careful not to move too much and his low voice, he probably assumed you were still asleep. His hands found their way into your hair once more this evening and you had to suppress a comfortable sight. But you couldn’t help the small smile that crept on your lips and the goosebump all over your body when you felt his hands touching you. You could have fallen asleep again right away, but then, Draco started to talk to you again.

“Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?”

You felt your cheeks burning at his words and were thankful that the light in the room was dimmed, so Draco wouldn’t be able to notice.

“Of course, I haven’t told you.”, he continued. “There are so many things I have never told you. Even if I wanted to. But I´m way too scared. Now, look at me. I´m such a coward, only able to talk to you when you are asleep.” At this point, you should probably tell Draco you were already awake or at least acting as if you would wake up, but something held you back. You felt as if your eyes were glued, you were not able to open them or give him any other sign you were anything but asleep. You knew it was wrong to listen to him when he thought you couldn’t, but you were way too curious not to do so.

“I really want to tell you. Everything I feel for you. I always intend to do so. I swear to Salazar I do. But as soon as I see you, as soon as you look at me, I forget whatever I wanted to say. Because you take my breath away. And then I´m just staring at you like some idiot. And you don’t even notice. You still think I´m nothing but your best friend. I am (Y/n). We are best friends and we always will be. But you just don’t understand that I want more.”

Your heart was beating so fast in your chest that you thought Draco would notice. But he didn’t.

“You are so smart (Y/n), but when it comes to my feelings for you, you are so clueless. Do you remember at the end of our first year, when you mentioned how amazing Terence Higgs is? He was the seeker back then. Why did you think I wanted to play in this position? Of course, it was great to play against Potter. But the real reason was that I wanted to impress you. And it worked, you were so proud of me. But never anything more. Or back in our third year. You had told me you had a crush on Graham Montague. Why do you think I hexed him that nasty rash into his stupid face?”

Draco chuckled.

“He was in the hospital wing for nearly two weeks. You were so worried about him and I already regretted it, thinking I might have only gotten the two of you closer, but then he screwed it up himself. I have always been so scared of the day you would actually fall in love. The day you would get a man who loves you just as you love him. And I still am. Because I knew that this is everything you deserve but I know that it will break my heart (Y/n). To see you with some other guy who is not me. I have always told myself that this is because we know each other for so long. That you are like a sister to me and I just want to protect you. But that´s not true. You´re nothing like a sister to me. The real reason I´m scared is that I won´t be able to stand it seeing you being in love with someone who isn’t me. I know you deserve this. You really do. And I wish you nothing but to be happy. But why can´t this be with me? You know, sometimes when I look at you, I think you might feel the same. When I see you smile at me, I feel like it is different from the way you smile at all the other boys. Sometimes I still have some hope left that you might want me one day the way I want you. I know you love me (Y/n). But not in the way I love you. You understand? You´re all I´m thinking about, when I wake up and when I go to sleep. When you are with me and when you aren’t. I´m so in love with you (Y/n). I love you so much, it hurts. And you still have no clue about it. You have no idea how much I love you.”

But you did. Now you couldn’t hold back the uncontrollable smile on your face anymore. You opened your eyes flutteringly, blinking up to the boy above you.

“I love you too Draco.”, you whispered.

The poor boy jumped up when he heard your voice, nearly making you fall from the couch. In the last second, some strong hand grabbed you, preventing you from doing so.

“By Salazar (Y/n), you scared me to death.”, Draco breathed out as you sat up again, smiling at him from the side.

You laughed.

“Sorry.”

Draco smiled too, but as he thought about what he had just told you, his heart dropped into his stomach.

“How much have you heard?”, he mumbled, as he felt his cheeks redden.

“Enough I guess.”, you smiled.

Draco cleared his throat and scratched his neck.

“Listen, I really didn’t want you to hear this. I really thought you were still asleep. So if you want to we can just forget everything that happened and continue being friends. I mean, I totally understand if you don’t want to. Because that was really awkward and all, but…”

“Draco.”, you interrupted him.

“If you´ll give me one more chance…”

“Draco!”, you said, now a little bit louder.

The boy stopped and looked at you worriedly.

“Did you even hear what I have told you?”, you chuckled.

“That you heard enough?”, Draco asked.

You laughed.

“Before this.”

“That you are sorry or that you…”

Draco stopped and looked at you with widened eyes.

“You… you love me too?”, he asked in disbelief.

You nodded.

“I love you too, you idiot. Or more precisely,”, you corrected, “I am in love with you too.”

As if in slow motion, a grin started to spread across Draco´s face.

“You love me too.”

“I love you too.”

“And I love you.”

“You love me.”

You both grinned at each other stupidly.

“Can I uhm… can I kiss you(Y/n)?”, Draco asked shyly.

You didn’t even care to respond and just crashed your lips onto his.

It was a messy kiss. Even though you had both known each other’s bodies for so long, it felt strange to feel his lips pressed on yours. But in the best way possible.

And slowly, the two of you started to relax, becoming more and more familiar with this new sensation. Draco´s hands found their way to your face to cup your cheeks. You could feel his rings, which you loved to play with whenever you were bored, cold against your heated skin. You placed your hands on his chest, drawing small circles on it, before they wandered to his collar, pulling him even closer.

One of his hands travelled down your back, helping you stabilise as you swung one leg over his lap, now sitting on top of him, as Draco tried to pull you even closer.

At some point, both of you were finally out of breath. You cupped his face, your thumb brushed over his swollen lips, while his hands wandered restlessly over your back. You pressed your forehead against his, feeling his hot breath hitting your skin. When Draco finally opened his eyes, he looked at you in admiration. You looked at him just the same. Not getting enough on the way of his grey eyes, scanning every centimetre of your face, trying to remember the way your cheeks had reddened and your breath was so much faster than usual. He wanted to remember this moment for the rest of his life, every single detail of it, and so did you.

“I love you.”, he whispered.

His lips brushed slightly against yours as he spoke.

“I love you too.”, you smiled.

“And I hate the both of you.”, you heard a voice behind you.

You spun around, seeing Blaise and Pansy standing in the door frame, looking at you. Both of them were grinning, even though Pansy looked not as happy as Blaise.

“Now I owe him five galleons.”, she sighted.

“You betted on this?”, you asked in disbelieve.

Pansy shrugged her shoulders.

“Everyone did. We knew this would happen, it was only a matter of time. I was so close to winning, but Blaise was even better.”

“I know my friends.”, Blaise simply said with a smug grin on his face.

“If you know me so well you know you should better start running if you won´t get out of here in the next five seconds.”, Draco growled, shooting deadly glances at your friends.

“Sorry, we didn’t mean to disturb you.”, Pansy laughed and raised her hands in defence. “Let´s go, Blaise.”

“I can sleep somewhere else tonight if you need some privacy.”, Blaise chuckled and ducked quickly as Draco threw a pillow at him.

“Out. Now!”

“Whatever. Have fun you two.”

Blaise winked at you and quickly disappeared before Draco could get up.

You groaned and hid your face in the crook of Draco´s neck.

“That was so embarrassing.”, you mumbled.

Draco just laughed and kissed your temple.

“I don’t care.”

“But now everyone is going to talk about this.”, you sighted.

“Let them talk love. I regret nothing.”

Slowly, you dived up again, looking into his smiling face.

“Neither do I.”, you admitted and his smile only grew wider.

“Well in that case,” Draco placed a small kiss on the tip of your nose, making you giggle. “We might as well take advantage of Blaise´s offer.”

“What offer?”

“Get him out of my room. I would love to spend some more time with my beautiful girlfriend tonight. You know, somewhere we won´t be disturbed.”

You raised an eyebrow.

“Girlfriend?”, you asked, the grinning in your voice clearly visible.

Draco looked down, slightly embarrassed.

“Only if you want to be, of course.”

You smiled and pecked his lips.

“I would love to.”

Draco mirrored your smile and pulled you in a deeper kiss once more.

After you parted again, you looked at him playfully.

“Now you have told me something about a more private place?”

IT WAS A dull evening at hogwarts. nothing that shocked draco malfoy. he was used to being bored of the castle, he was too familiar with the grounds after being here so many years. nothing excited him anymore. except for seeing his girlfriend, y/n. which only happened during the late hours of the early morning and late evening. when it was silent throughout the castle, and no one could find either of you sharing spit atop the astronomy tower. your boyfriend’s personal favorite spot.

it was exactly two minutes into dinner that draco noticed you were missing from your own table. he had been glancing in your normal direction every chance he got but your friends were blocking his view. so, when he finally noticed the empty spot his eyebrows furrowed. he shook it off immediately, knowing you and how you probably were off attempting to receive a few extra house points. or maybe you were off with hagrid. or maybe, even, you lost track of time lost in a good book. that must have been it, he had convinced himself as he took another bite of his meal.

it was a few minutes later that he started to worry. he had noticed your brother, harry, missing along with a few of your best friends. draco had only assumed the group of you were off doing something he would disapprove of. theo’s voice was in his ear as if he cared, the entire duration of dinner. not that draco was paying any bit of attention as he stared off at your empty seat. trying to contemplate what to do or what to think.

“mate, what’s up with you? did ya’ hear what i told you- about that hufflepuff girl?” theo had slapped his shoulder as he tilted his head. blaise’s eyes were also locked on the silent blonde, lorenzo’s as well. draco turned slightly to face theo in an annoying manner. “no, i didn’t. and i don’t want to.”

the curly headed brunette held up his hands in innocence as he turned to face his own plate, eating his sandwhich. it was blaise’s turn to care as he watched his best friend stare off into eternity. “draco-“

draco caught none of the rest of the conversation as the sight of two of your friends entering the great hall caught his eye. there was a distraught look on both of their faces as they spoke to one another in hushed voices. okay, now he was worried. he was about to rise when he started to get into his own head. if you were completely fine, he didn’t want to embarrass you or him by exposing your private relationship. the two of you had fought hard to make it secret, and he didn’t want to blow it. you being a potter and him being a malfoy and the two of you dating would break every standard ever made. draco hated your brother and your family with every bone in his body - or so you thought.

when fifth year came round, and the two of you were partnered together in charms class, you soon learned that he wasn’t that unbearable. he, the same. months later, the two of you had been dating for just a few months - friends for nearly a year. all private due to the sake of disownement on either halves of your families. yeah, it hurt to watch you dance with fred weasley at the yule ball. or not be able to tell you that you looked pretty when he saw you at breakfast. or simply take you on dates to hogsmede. he knew how much you adored butterbeer, he just wished he could witness it for himself.

and with that, he stood. draco could hear his friends call his name as he made his way out of the great hall and to the staircase. the slytherin knew how risky he was being considering there was a very good chance you weren’t even at your dorm. but most of the students were at dinner, so he took that as a leap of faith. it was several flights of stairs to get to the ravenclaw tower. the tallest tower in the entire school.

draco had only been to your dorm room once, to drop you off after you had a bit too much fire whiskey. but every other time you had seen one another was meeting at the astronomy tower or in the library, or outside the castle on the grounds. he knew which one was yours though, he had paid first years to get you flowers twice before. once when you were ill and the second time just… because, he’s draco malfoy and he’s your boyfriend.

he entered the tower after answering the riddle, he wished all entrances had a riddle rather a secret word. draco of course believed he would answer them correctly everytime, he was just so clever. he entered the house common room cautiously, not wanting to explain to head of house professor flitwick why he was sneaking around ravenclaw dorms. the dark blue aura, the painted stars on the ceiling, the several book shelves - it all lay silent as he sighed in relief at the emptiness.

draco immediately made his way to the right staircase and walked up it too quickly, anxiously. he reached the top only to spot your brother and your friend stood outside your door. his too expensive shoes creaked too loudly against the darkened wooden final step, causing both heads to turn in his direction. he didn’t even bother hiding it at this point. “malfoy, get out of here.”

“shut it, potter.” draco rolled his eyes as he shoved passed him and pressed his head against the door. “what are you even doing here?” harry questioned as draco ignored his choice of words. “y/n, it’s me.”

that was all you needed to hear to open the door ever so slightly so you could grab him. in which you did, shoving him in your dorm room as you shut the door behind him. he furrowed his eyebrows as to why you were locked in you room with your brother and friend stood outside. you sat back down on the floor, the back of your head pressed against the edge of your bed. draco took a breath before he sat down beside you, inspecting you quickly.

your eyes seemed puffy and slightly red. you looked upset, even more upset then when you found out you couldn’t get tickets for your favorite because you had the O.W.L.S. his heart broke in several different patterns which soon turned to anger as he knew this was nothing. who hurt you?” “y/n-“

“what is malfoy doing in there? get away from my sister you-“

“silenceo.” y/n casted softly making the words of her brother now, silent. you turned to draco as it all seemed to click in your mind. “merlin’s beard, dray. you- you’re here. harry knows you’re here. no, oh no.”

“darling,” draco spoke softly as he leaned his face closer to your own. your eyes landing directly on his own light ones. “i don’t care about that right now. what’s going on, hm?”

you shook your head as you wiped the dry tears from earlier off of your face, provoking redness to come to the surface. he sighed as he tilted his head, his cold finger tracing your jaw. his whole hand cupped the side of your face as it fell into his hand sadly. “pretty girl, what’s wrong?”

“i-“ your voice cracked as you took a deep breath. “i was leaving quidditch practice and cormac…” your voice trailed off as you sniffled. “he started going on about how good i was in the game. and how he knew i was good at other things… i asked him to leave me alone and he kept going on.”

you could feel draco’s hand harden underneath your face, as if he whole body tensed. “he was saying the things he wanted to do to me and-“ your voice cracked as your hand reached to hold onto draco’s arm. “he just kept talking and talking and tried to follow me to my dorm and i kept telling him to get away from me and then he tried to-“

“i’m going to fucking avara his fat ass,” draco spit as he watched a tear drip down your cheek and into his own hand. the dorm remained silent as he placed his free hand through your hair, something that he learned calmed you down ages ago. he felt maimed knowing he couldn’t have stopped cormac, or at least wasn’t with you to walk you back to your dorm like any normal boyfriend. or that he couldn’t have been at the practice to put cormac in his place. and especially that he wasn’t there the moment you arrived there so he could hold you in his arms and let you feel like you were okay and safe. “why didn’t you tell me? or come to me?” his voice was quiet, it was practically a murmur. you only picked it up because of the silence of the room. your heart hurting at his tone.

“draco, i couldn’t come running to you.” you told him which only made his stomach twist and turn. you watched his face drop from anger to pure sadness. “i- you. fuck. y/n, you can always come running to me,” his voice came of as a question as he stuttered out his own words.

“i…” your voice trailed off as you looked anywhere but his eyes. you didn’t want to cry anymore, and you knew you would burst into tears if you had to watch his sad puppy dog expression anymore. “i didn’t want you to be mad at me. for… ruining our secret, y’know. if i came running to you that would- ugh. i didn’t want to fuck this up for you, or for your potter hating family.”

“fuck my family, y/n. fuck everyone. i only care about you. you- you come to me if you need me to lend you a quill. or if you need me to open a blimey muggle pickle jar! you come to me always, i don’t want you to think i care about father’s opinion over your feelings. you’re my girlfriend, y/n. i care about your feelings over everything, okay? just- i’m here. i’m always here for you, darling. understand?” he dropped his hands from you as he took your own in his hands, holding them tightly as he spoke. you fought a huge smile at his devotion towards you.

“i understand.” you smiled at him as his lip curved and he leaned towards you, his lips pressing softly against your own. it was a relief after the afternoon you had, and you knew nothing in the world could ever make you feel better. “now, if you don’t mind i have some business to deal with - with some slag - a curly headed fool who tried to mess with my girl.”

Episode one.

Episode two.

Episode three.

Episode four.

Episode five.

Episode six.

Episode seven.

Episode eight.

Episode nine.

Episode ten.