that’s it, that’s the show
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@cartooncoatrack
that’s it, that’s the show

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[ID: Screenshot of tumblr tags reading “please op i am desperate for the context.” End ID.]
Sure, here ya go:
Lord George Gordon Byron was an English poet in the early 1800s.
He wrote several narrative poems that influenced the gothic genre and was a HUGE fucking slut. HUGE. This bisexual mess slept with so many fucking people it was insane, no gender was safe. Unfortunately that “no one was safe” mentality did not work out well for him bc there were a LOT of rumors that he impregnated his half-sister.
His only child from a legitimate marriage was from his wife, Lady Anne Isabella Noel Byron, who straight-up left him after a year. You know how divorce was uncommon in the 1800s? His wife was just so fed up with him that she did not care and left when her daughter was five weeks old.
This daughter was named Ada and would become known as Ada Lovelace.
Byron signed the separation papers and then left the country to have sex elsewhere and would later die when Ada was eight.
During that time if a couple divorced, usually the Dad would get full custody, so just in case he tried anything Lady Byron made sure to play the devoted and overattentive mother.
Lady Byron was absolutely paranoid that her daughter would become an insane gothic mess like her dad so she decided the only thing to do would be to make sure she did not become a Poet™. So she heavily encouraged Ada’s interests in science and mathematics.
Around the 1830-40s, Ada met Charles Babbage through a mutual friend and he showed her his prototype for a mechanical calculator. She got absolutely obsessed with this machine and began helping him out with it to the point where her notes on it became more extensive than his.
She also added notes to a translation of a paper on this engine that is considered to be the first published algorithm.
These notes on the engine and translation became the basis for computer programming.
She’s considered The First Computer Programmer™
So, because Lord Byron was a little slut and his wife wanted their daughter to Not Be, we now have to deal with tumblr discourse. Thank you and goodnight.
COULD you be persuaded to draw some johndave? maybe??? or just some john? if not it's fine tho
paraphrasing but this is basically what happened in act 1 right
Shoutout to the all queer family heroes
wow this actually makes me feel really happy cause that person is me…
It me
vincent price calling christopher lee a bitch asmr
This man really said bitch in cursive outloud
I’ve reblogged this so many times but this is the first time I’ve seen “bitch in cursive” and it took me the fuck out.
Vincent Price: Congratulations, Vernon! What a fall. All the way down the stairs. Wonderful. But then you always were good at falling from a great height.
Christopher Lee: Can’t compare, my dear Jeffrey, with your famous death scenes which you played so brilliantly for so many years.
Vincent Price, offscreen: Bitch.
Bitch.

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DR. HARLEEN FRANCES QUINZEL, PhD
Ship dynamics :-)
no thats. thats literally the homestuck quadrant system
What? What ?? What ???
WHAT THE FUCK IS HOMESTUCK
At this point I'm starting to think it's just an internet ARG where people collectively make shit up to fuck with us
hey notajerusalemcricket, i need you to understand that at one point tumblr DID actually fake a whole children's television show using the Squiddles from homestuck so... the opposite of your reblog has already happened
me at any given time: can we just buckle down and focus on the task at hand please???
my brain:
my brain: ……….ranibow sprimkle……………
ranibow sprimkle……..
kepchup.
SPINCH
B A N C H
chichen nuggest
b R o G L e
strawbebbies..
this post almost moved me to tears
Tag yourself, I’m spinch or rainbow sprimkle
I’m kepchup lmao
Brogle and rainbow sprimkle
This is so charming I feel punched in the solar plexus and I’m here for this sort of gentle, sweet violence.
some additions from my own collection
The best part is the fact that out of the two of them Martha Stewart was the one who went to prison.
Wait…what?
Wiiiiild. He did commit murder (in self defense - no judging) and America‘s Best Housewife was sent to jail because of insider trading, securities fraud, obstruction of justice and conspiracy. This is wiiiiiild 😄😄😄
also he has every right to make fun of kanye west considering snoop has had a successful career for about two decades including his own cookbook and appearing in movies whereas kanye is a flat earther who had to crowdfund another album because he ran out of money despite kim kardashian being with him, not having the money to produce another album should be the metric when you know you can tell a musician has failed somewhere in either money management or actually being a musician rather then a famous trainwreck
snoop dogg is a good man who loves cooking, nature, and supporting the dreams of young children in poverty. kanye west helped get trump elected.
seriously though check out his cookbook its beautiful
and filled with lgiht humor, legit cooking, and charming life stories
Whenever I think about snoop I remember that episode of cribs where he lived in an unusually modest house compared to everyone else on that show, spent the entire time with his young daughter hugging onto his leg and dragging her around as he walked. He even talked about how he didn’t want his kids to be musicians and that he just wants them to have a chance at a normal life / he doesn’t wish music career drama on anyone
The dude is mega down to earth for having a networth of 135 million dollars and staying relevant for longer than some of the top charting musicians have been alive
he says he keeps a supply of poptarts in the house for his nieces/nephews and grandkids but admits theyre really for him and then goes on to discuss what selection of condiments your fridge should have to jazz up leftover takeout hes one of the most thoroughly human humans ive ever known of
Doesn’t he also coach football for kids, and stops smoking during the season to set a good example for the kids?
all these people going on about how Hozier is the peak representation of musical soft masculinity when Snoop has been out here rocking the smoothest braids and most hype manicures for decades
Have you seen his Planet Earth voiceover video? It’s the best thing I’ve ever heard. Man knows nothing about otters
Plizzanet Earth is a joy. Here’s the playlist:
Why has no one ever told me about Plizzanet Earth oh my god
Snoop is legit; don’t come for him.
He also did an episode of Storybots and my kids adore the computer man. Which is wild to me. Cuz I remember gangster rap Snoop. And we love and support Snoop in this house.
Love him, great man
plizzanet earth

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the way being hungry literally makes you evil
in todays maxi challenge you need to make it through the day
Why can’t women just dress how they want ffs
It’s not just misogyny, it’s racism and islamophobia, don’t leave those out

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Here’s a not so friendly reminder:
Just because you have received the vaccine does NOT mean you can just do whatever you want now and stop wearing a mask and social distancing. The pandemic is still happening.
If the virus continues to spread, we give it more opportunities to mutate and adapt, which could lead to a variant that’s immune to the vaccine, which would mean everything we’ve been doing would be a waste of time. Until enough people get the vaccine and herd immunity is achieved, keep following the rules, wash your hands, social distance, and wear a mask.
Please especially remember that your immune system takes days or weeks to generate new antibodies. The reason so many people think a flu shot can *cause* flu is they get the shot and instantly let their guard down about germs.
I thought this was my hometown for a second