(´・ω・｀)(´・ω・｀)(´・ω・｀)

Two days left until he “stops being Ryo-kun”. Whatever that means. I keep thinking about the click clap interview where he said he started thinking about leaving in january last year. I hate to say this, but I called it. It was honestly very obvious to me that he wasn’t happy or satisfied. When BE came out, I was even more sure. By the time Re:road was released there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that he would leave. That’s why I took it so well when he finally announced it. Just pissed at ETA for not letting him do it on his terms.

I’m not gonna lie in bed and cry for 2 months just bc he left. Amna and I were talking about this the other day, about how we draw a very strict line between utaite as singers and utaite as people. I honestly just wish him all the best. No resentment, no hard feelings, no nothing. But he’s been a huge part of my life for 4 and a half years and he’s given me so much during that time. I was able to thank him properly, face to face, but I feel like I was never able to give anything back. I know I don’t have to, but the thought still bothers me a bit.

I’m still hoping he’ll announce a major debut. I think that if he was 100% sure he would never come back, he wouldn’t tell people to keep loving him if he did and all that. In Osaka, he sounded like he would come back. In Nagoya, not so much, but what he said sounded so forced and so unlike him that I’m not sure whether or not ETA scolded him for talking too much and told him to stfu. I’m not sure about anything anymore. Just have to wait. It’s only two more days, anyway.

I keep thinking about the two previous lives, how he looked way happier than on re:alize tour, much more relaxed. Like someone took a huge weight off his shoulders. His singing improved a lot as well. I don’t even know how, considering how good he already was before, but his voice control and technique have been spot on. I think he made one tiny mistake in Osaka and that was it. Nagoya was 100% perfect. He almost cried on World Lampshade but he held back. I can only imagine how Tokyo will be like. (Still hoping for Hiro-san as guest, considering he had Sekihan in Nagoya.) I think it’s a waste of talent if he stops singing, but that’s not for me to decide.

I just hope that he figures himself out and does whatever makes him the happiest. If he does decide to come back, I’ll be waiting.

THIS IS BEAUTIFUL O-O carrot kun if you don’t mind, would you tell me what color pens you used? I’ve been trying to find these for awhile now! carrotkun2

It's a marker pen. :)